Summer Interlude
by MidnightWalking
Summary: Summer Interlude picks up after the prom and is told from Bella and Edwards PoV. It will cover summer vacation and their developing relationship. For those who haven't read this story and for those who have, I'm in the process of editing and revising.
1. After the Dance Bella

_**AN: This begins right after the dance and, if continued, will only cover the time not dealt with by Mrs. Meyer in **_**New Moon**_**. I will only continue posting if there is interest expressed. I am not the originator of these characters. I have tried to keep true to the characters created by Stephenie Meyer, and all original Twilight material belongs to her. I am writing this in two PoVs, first Bella's and then Edwards. I hope someone enjoys my humble efforts. This is my first attempt at writing a fan fiction, but I have enjoyed it. Thanks.**_

_**4-11 After writing Edwards PoV, I found some minor and one major error, so I have replaced the first copy of this story with the corrections.**_

_**9-12-07: This story is getting re-edited for errors, so I will be replacing chapters as I edit them. **_

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**Chapter 1 --- After the Dance – Bella**

Okay, so I truly did enjoyed prom, despite all of my earlier protests, but maybe I enjoy the company more than the prom itself. Just as he promised, Edward stayed by my side all through prom, except for the one minute infringement by Jacob Black. I knew I should have been more apprehensive about Billy's message, but I decided to thrust it aside and file it away for later.

Charlie was waiting when Edward brought me home, which surprised me because it was two in the morning. Charlie was a little anxious when he saw Edward carrying me in, but Edward just smiled crookedly and said, "She's just exhausted from dancing." Charlie smiled at that; maybe he had remembered my earlier comment, before the spring dance, that I didn't dance. Edward proceeded to carry me upstairs with Charlie trailing behind. At the top of the stairs, Edward had the forethought to ask which way instead of automatically preceding to my room. As I watched Charlie, I wished I had Edwards's ability to hear other's thoughts. I'd ask Edward later what Charlie had thought as he watched Edward carry me up to my room and gently place me on the bed. As he put me down, I heard someone knock on the door downstairs. Edward smiled and said, "That will be Alice. She said she would stop by and see if Bella needed any help preparing for bed." Charlie left to let Alice in.

"What is he thinking right now?" I asked Edward.

"Who?" he quipped.

"Charlie of course."

"At this very moment he is thinking how beautiful Alice looks. I should let her in on his compliment later," he laughed.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." He can be so frustrating at times. "What was he thinking when he saw you carrying me in and up the stairs?"

Once again, he had that crooked smile; I realized, a while back, that he smiled liked that when he had something he could hold over me for a while. "Later, they're coming up."

Charlie and Edward both left the room after Alice entered. I knew Edward would waste little time driving home, changing, and running back here to wait until he could join me.

"I knew you'd enjoy yourself, and you looked beautiful tonight," Alice remarked.

"Yes, I did have fun, but only because Edward was there. I would never have enjoyed prom with anyone else." I smiled as I remembered how he held me and danced me around the room.

"Well, remember that when the next dance comes around. Edward enjoys dancing; only he hasn't really had anyone to dance with before. Rosalie and I make poor substitutes especially with husband's who are waiting in the wings." She gave a little laugh. "And besides, sisters aren't as much fun to dance with."

"Alice?" I wasn't sure how honest she would be with me, but I had to ask anyway. "Do you still see me being changed?"

"You know Edward forbade me to talk about that issue with you,' she warned.

"Oh, hang Edward. This concerns my future, and what kind of a future would I want if Edward wasn't part of it?" I shocked myself with the anger behind those first words.

"Edward's right. You do have a temper." Alice chuckled. "You two are well-suited for each other; his temper complements yours. But, as I said, he's forbidden me to tell you what I see concerning you being changed, so let's just say nothing has changed from the previous ones."

"Thanks Alice." I liked Alice. I could see us becoming closer friends, and if the circumstances of our relationship ever changed for the better, I could see us becoming co-conspirators at times.

I appreciated Alice's help, especially with the corset, but I was glad when I was finally settled in bed and she and Charlie left telling me to get a good sleep.

Once the door was shut, it was only seconds before Edward was next to me in bed holding me close. Without seeing him, I knew he had changed clothes by the way they felt next to my skin.

"So, what was he thinking?" I was determined to find out what his thoughts had been as Edward carried me in.

"Who?" He breathed in my face.

"You know darn well who?" I said in an annoyed whisper.

He gave a little chuckle and ran his finger down the bridge of my nose before replying, "Shock at first. He thought you'd been hurt. He had an image of you tripping over your cast while dancing and breaking your other leg. Not a graceful image I might add. Has he seen you dance before?" he laughed quietly.

"Ha ha, and no, I've never danced in front of him, and he was spared the sight of my ballet recitals. What else?" I snuggled closer to him.

"Umm, you smell so good. It's a good thing Charlie can't hear my thoughts. Although, he did think you looked too _comfortable_ in my arms. He was also wondering how far our relationship has gone, and whether or not he should ask you some _very_ pointed questions on the matter, but I don't think he'll do that before you wake up."

"Hum, maybe I won't wake up. I could lay here like this forever and never fall asleep. I wonder what that would be like to just lay nestled in your arms all night and never sleep but revel in your closeness. Tell me how that would feel." I knew I was getting sleepy but I was fighting it is long as I could because I knew it would interrupt our time together.

"I'm not sure. I've never done that before. Maybe I should stay this way until you wake up. Then I can tell you how it feels. As you sleep, I'll just breathe in your essence and cradle you next to me. Of course, if Charlie should look in before he leaves for work, I'd disappear until he closed the door," he whispered in my ear.

I murmured, "I could just lock the door."

"Won't that make him suspicious?"

"Of what?'

"Of what might be going on behind the locked door?"

"You tell me. You know what thoughts he's been having lately. Does he suspect any deep romantic inclinations on your part? Or on mine for that matter?" I sighed sleepily, but still reluctant to let sleep overwhelm my senses.

"Well . . ." he paused for a moment. "It has crossed his mind. He was remembering, a while back, what he was like at your age, but he hoped girls weren't like that. In fact, he'd almost convinced himself you couldn't be like that, but something made him unsure. I never clearly caught what changed his mind." I felt him playing with strands of my hair, and it sent exciting shivers down my spine.

"What was he like at my age?" I murmured. I felt as though I was floating in the air, but tried very hard to keep contact with the ground. I knew sleep was trying to overwhelm me, but I had no desire to let it sweep me away from Edward.

"Very physical," Edward chuckled.

"I wish I could see that. I wish I could know what you're thinking right now." I sighed.

"I'm thinking how good you smell; how your smell is a magnet that ensnares me and fills me with a desire to get closer to you." He was running his nose up and down my neck sending electrical charges shooting through my body. "How tasty you were, and how much I love you that I would never want you to suffer like you did in the dance studio." He hesitated a moment, then kissed my neck and asked, "What are you thinking?"

How could I start, I knew I was drifting into sleep but my thoughts were running rampant. Where would I begin, and which ones dare I let escape my lips. I shifted slightly trying to get closer to him and murmured, "Remember, you asked. I was thinking how this is the way I want us to be forever. Never to leave each others side. To bathe in each others desires and needs, to be so close we become as one. I was realizing how alone I've been, relying only on myself and distancing myself from most people. How my only real friend has been my mother and how I've never felt the need to let anyone else in my life . . . maybe not even Charlie, until now. Now I know that you have to be in my life or I'll fade away into nothingness with no meaning or reason for existing. Edward?" I knew I was losing to sleep, but I felt a pressing need to keep focused and conscious.

"Yes, I'm still here," but he sounded like he was a great distance away.

"Edward, promise to stay. Promise to stay forever. Don't let me die. Promise. Promise I'll never have to leave you. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be lonely or feel the ache of losing the only person I've ever loved, or ever will love. Promise me Edward?" I couldn't distinguish between thoughts and spoken words because my thoughts were so tied up in sleep. My mind bombarded me with questions. _Had I really said this? Had I really told him how I was really feeling? Would this be too much for him if I really said these things? Was I pushing him away by revealing too much?_ "Don't leave me." My voice began to rise. "Please, Edward, don't leave me." Did I just shout that? "Edward . . . Edward? No, don't leave," and then, as if I was underwater, I faintly heard a knock on the door and someone called my name. Who came into my room? Who was calling my name? All I could think was that Edward was gone because I could no longer feel his arms about me; I would never see him again, or had this been some impossible dream. Around my mind raced the word "Edward, don't leave." Were these thoughts or had I said them, and then I heard my name called again, but more persistently. Was that Charlie's voice? What was Charlie doing in my room? Where was Edward? The words "Edward, don't leave," escaped my lips. Was I talking in my sleep, had I been asleep this whole time?

There the voice was again, "Bella?" but with a question.

Had he heard me talking? What had I said? I remember a moan escaping my lips; this was the worst thing that could happen. Did he know I talked in my sleep? I vaguely heard myself say, "Mom was supposed to tell you. She promised to tell you."

In my mind I heard, "Tell me what Bells?" Was that really Charlie's voice?

Maybe I should ask. "Charlie? Mom was supposed to tell you. Why didn't she tell you?"

And again, I heard, "Tell me what Bells?" but very softly, almost muffled like there was a great distance between us.

And what happened next jolted me out of my sleepy stupor. "Charlie, Isabella talks in her sleep." My mother was standing in the room with Charlie. My eyes few open and I was so startled to see Charlie leaning over me that I screamed.

"Bella?" and Charlie had put his hand over my mouth to muffle the scream. "Bella? Are you awake?" He sounded scared rather than upset.

The only word that came to my mind was, "What?" I was unsure of what happened.

"Bella? Are you okay? Are you awake?" Charlie had removed his hand from my mouth and was sitting on the edge of my bed looking very worried.

My eyes scanned the room quickly looking for any trace of Edward and then looking for mom. "Where's mom? When did she come?"

"Bella," Charlie said quietly, "Your mom isn't here."

"But I just heard her." Had I hallucinated or was I going crazy? I knew I heard her voice.

"No Bella, that was you," his voiced sounded puzzled and concerned.

"Me?" Okay, what he said didn't registering. I knew I heard my mom, how could it have been me.

"Bells, do you talk in your sleep?" Charlie quizzed me.

"Mom didn't tell you? She promised me." I felt uncomfortable lying there with Charlie towering above me from his seated position. "Dad, help me sit up." The cast made it hard to move in the morning, especially from a lying to sitting position. After awkwardly helping me sit up, I looked Charlie in the eyes. "Dad, mom promised she would warn you about the fact that I talk in my sleep. She knew I felt uncomfortable talking to you about it. I do it quite often, but usually no one hears me. Why did you come into my room?"

"I thought I heard voices. I thought, now don't get mad, but I thought that boy was in here with you." Charlie's face reflected a number of different emotions he must have been feeling at that time: anger, puzzlement, concern, relief, embarrassment.

I thought, _how was I going to handle this?_ And then his words registered more fully. "Dad, he isn't _that boy_. His name is Edward, and if you think I'd do something like _that_ under your nose, then you've no faith or trust in me. Besides, I've never, never done anything like that." I saw shock register on his face.

"Bella, I'm sorry. It was just that I heard voices, and, I'm sorry I thought the worse." I could tell he really wanted to apologize.

Maybe, I thought, it was time to discuss how I actually felt about Edward with Charlie. Maybe that would help him to understand. "Look dad. I'm serious about how I feel about Edward. In fact, I love him deeply. Maybe I'm old enough to think about things like _that_, but I would never put myself in a position where I would shock or offend you or mom. I know, you think I'm too young to know about love, I mean real love, but I'm not. I know how I feel about Edward. I ache with loneliness when he is not around, and I feel completely content and fulfilled when I'm with him. I know you at least like him, but don't change your opinion of him because I feel this way toward him." I must love Edward to be able to talk to Charlie like this.

"Bella, you're only seventeen. You haven't even met that many people. How can you know this is love and not a teenage crush? I mean, look at your mom and I, we thought we were in love too, but it didn't work out." I saw Charlie was trying to make a convincing point, but I also knew he wouldn't change my mind.

"Dad, I'm not you or mom . . . and I'm not a child. I don't look at the world or my life in a childish way. Ask mom, she knows I've always had a more mature outlook on the world. I know things didn't work out for you and mom; I don't know if it was because you didn't love each other enough or if there were other factors involved, but I do know how I feel. I know how I felt when I left after breaking up with Edward. I couldn't stand to be away from him, that's why I was in such a rush to meet him when he flew to Phoenix. Maybe that's why I was so careless, but despite the accident, I know how empty my life would be if he weren't a part of it." I could see that I was making some progress, but I was afraid of pushing him too far, so I quipped, "I promise, if we decide to get engaged or married, you'll be the first person we tell," from the look on Charlie's face, that may have been too much. So I gave him a big smile, hugged him, and added with a laugh, "I'll make him ask permission first, okay?"

Charlie was not much for showing his feeling, but he did hug me back. "Bella, I just worry about you, and I only want the best for you."

"Believe it or not, dad, Edward is the best for me. Now, if it is okay with you, I need to get up and wash my face."

"Do you need some help?" He suddenly looked a little uncomfortable.

"No, dad," I reassured him. "I can do this." I smiled to let him now I was okay and that he didn't need to worry. "I'll call Alice later if I need help. What time is it?"

"It's around ten. I planned on going into work today, but if you need me to stay," his expression showed concern.

"No, dad. You go and do whatever it is you need to do. I'll be fine. Besides, Edward is coming over later, and Alice is only a phone call away. Oh, and dad, please don't tell mom what I just said. I think it would be best if I told her first. In fact, I'll email her later today, and as soon as she reads it you will probably receive a very heated call from her, but tell her to stop yelling at you and call me." I smiled at him as I watched his expression turn from concern to surprise to shock. Then I thought of one more issue to contend with before he left and our father-daughter discourse ended. "You might want to be careful listening in on my sleep talking. You never know if what I'm saying is reality or part of some very weird dream I'm having."

He patted my head as he got up and said, "Your dreams can't be any weirder than mine, but at least I don't talk in my sleep." He became a little thoughtful at that point and added, "It's a good thing I don't," and with that cryptic comment, he walked out of my room.

As I heard Charlie walking down the stairs and tried to maneuver my way out of bed, two strong cold arms lovingly embraced me from behind. "Did you do that for me?" Edward whispered as he caresses my neck with his lips.

"No," I murmured as little shock waves raced through my body. "I did that for us. I thought I'd broach the subject on my terms rather than his. You did say he planned on talking to me; I just saved him the trouble of finding a way to introduce the subject." He hadn't stopped kissing my neck and I could hear my heart racing in my chest, and, I imagined, so could he.

"You really were talking in your sleep." He proceeded to kiss the other side of my neck, and if he kept it up, I didn't know if I could control myself. I wanted so much to be kissing him back.

"I didn't know I fell asleep. Was I getting hysterical? I nearly died when I thought my mother was in the room, but Charlie said it was my voice even though I distinctly heard my mother's voice."

"It may have sounded like her voice to you, but it was coming out of your mouth."

Okay, his kisses increased the desire in me to throw myself in his arms, and I made a move to do just that, except I forgot about the cast and instead of turning gracefully to wrap my arms around his neck, I sprawled sideways and nearly fell out of the bed. I think that shocked Edward more then if I would have succeeded in throwing my arms around him.

"Bella," he said as he caught me before I could damage myself. "Are you okay?"

"No," I moaned.

He scooped me up, sat me on his lap, and looked deeply into my eyes. Not only did my heart race faster, but also my breathing completely stopped. "Breath, Bella, before you hyperventilate," he smiled and put his lips to mine.

I couldn't help myself; I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back as hard as I could. I couldn't have stopped myself even if Charlie and my mom had been standing in my room watching. At first, Edward didn't pull away as he did in the past, but that only encouraged me to kiss him with more passion. I didn't know I had that in me. Maybe it had been building up and suddenly just burst out. I felt I could go on in this manner all day and revel in these new feelings, but Edward slowly began to pull away from me. "Where did that come from?" He asked a bit shocked.

"From deep within," I murmured and buried my face in his chest.

"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" he laughed.

"Make me a part of you forever, never leave me, and love me beyond all imagination." I was getting better at this, I thought; hopefully I hadn't said too much. So to avoid his arguing or taking offense at what I just said, I quickly added, "I need a human moment, if you don't mind," and got up off his lap.

At that, Edward broke out in a laugh, but I turned on him, and surprisingly to me it was slightly graceful, took his face gently between my hands and said with a coy smile, "And, Edward, I've decided to tell you everything I'm thinking." Edward's smile faded and sheer surprise replaced it. I then picked up my bag and hobbled into the bathroom.


	2. After the Dance Edward

_AN: Chapter one is being retold from Edwards's point of view. The chapter from Bella's point of view was updated due to errors. Edward's personality is based on descriptions supplied by Stephenie Meyer on other sites where she has answered fan questions and on Alphie's portrayal in __The Lion and the Lamb__. I am hoping Alphie does not mind; I have immensely enjoyed her story. I hope this meets with everyone' expectations. Once again, these are not my characters; they all belong to the wonderfully creative mind of Stephenie Meyer. Enjoy._

_Edited 9-12-07  
_

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After the Dance – Edward

The hardest part about the prom was resisting the urge to break the neck of every adolescent male whose mind lusted after Bella. Even worse were those minds that thought Bella was _pretty_. I wanted to yell, _Bella is not pretty; she is ravishingly beautiful_. Besides, _pretty_ was an insult to her beauty, Alice's handiwork, and my choice.

As I drove Bella home, I surmised that Bella had a good time at the prom despite her boisterous protests earlier in the evening. As I gazed at her, seated next to me, a contented smile appeared on her luscious lips. Her lips were begging to be kissed, so I quickly leaned over and brushed them with mine. In response, she breathed a satisfied sigh. I quickly parked in the driveway and slowly, for me, walked around to Bella's side of the car, since I knew Charlie was watching from the window. As I gently lifted her out of the car, she nestled her head snugly against my chest, and I slowly carried her to the front door. I could tell she was tired because she didn't argue about being carried. Her scent was so intoxicating, but I was being to wonder which lured me more, the scent of her blood or her love and trust. The memory of her richly delicious blood still lingered in mouth, and every time I thought about that taste sensation I wondered if it was the same sensation many humans had when they allowed a piece of chocolate to melt in their mouth. Even with that memory still strong in my mind, I knew I would be able to resist draining Bella of her life giving fluid because of the deep love I felt for her.

As we approached the front door, I heard Charlie's concerns flooding into my mind.

_It's about time. Why is he carrying her? Is she hurt? If he hurt her, there'll be the devil to pay._

I wanted to laugh at his last thought. Most humans, if they knew what I was, would consider me the devil. At least I was ready to calm his concerns. As he held the door open, I said with a smile, "She's just exhausted from dancing."

Charlie wasn't very happy about the fact that I proceeded to carry Bella up the stairs, but I wasn't going to allow her to walk up the stairs with that stiletto heel on her foot because to allow that was only asking an accident to happen. Besides, I enjoyed the warmth of Bella's soft body nestling next to my cold one. As I reached the top of the stairs, I halted and allowed Charlie to direct me towards Bella's room. There was no need for Charlie to know how familiar I was with the location of Bella's room.

Charlie's thoughts were bombarding my mind once again.

_How serious is she? How far has this relationship gone? She looks mighty comfortable in his arms. Maybe we need to have a father-daughter talk about this. Would that be pushing her too far? But I'm the father; I need to know where this is headed. Why is being a father so complicated?_

I could tell Bella would have some explaining to do and I wanted to overhear that conversation but from Bella's side. I was glad of his concern. A father should be concerned about his daughter's welfare.

As I gently set Bella on the bed, I heard Alice arriving, and seconds later she knocked on the door. I smiled at Charlie and said, "That will be Alice. She said she would stop by and see if Bella needed any help preparing for bed." Charlie promptly left the room.

Bella looked at me quizzically and asked, "What is he thinking right now?"

"Who?" I quipped back.

"Charlie of course." I knew she meant to give me a scathing glance, but I could tell she was too exhausted.

At that moment, I knew Charlie was opening the door to Alice. His thoughts were clear. _She's gorgeous. Repeat, she's Bella's age. She could be your daughter. She's absolutely breathtaking. She's jailbait. Stop thinking along those lines._ I pushed his thoughts aside; I didn't want to know if they went any further.

I smiled at Bella and said, "At this very moment he is thinking how beautiful Alice looks. I should let her in on his complement later." I laughed. I knew Alice would be pleased at his thoughts but Jasper wouldn't.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." By her tone, I could tell she was frustrated with my reply. "What was he thinking when he saw you carrying me in and up the stairs?"

I smiled knowingly at her. "Later, they're coming up."

As Alice walked in, I knew it was time to leave. I had enough time to drive home, change, return, and linger below Bella's window before Alice had even finished helping Bella prepare for bed. While I waited, I allowed my thoughts to dwell on the evening's revelations. First, my jealousy of Bella had only increased; second, she was as tempting as ever and not just her scent; third, Charlie wanted answers about our relationship; and fourth, I was more deeply in love with Bella than ever. Keeping my promise to protect Bella and let her live as human a life as possible become harder because I wanted her progressively more for myself. I did not want to share her with anyone, not even my family. I realized I was becoming possessive of her. Alice startled me out of my meditation by quietly saying, "She's all yours," as she passed me on her way home. I savored that thought, 'she's all mine.'

Then I focused on Charlie's thoughts and found him fast asleep; so, I quickly entered Bella's window and took my customary position beside her in bed. I found this a very natural and delightful way to spend my evening. Yes, I knew she would fall asleep, but just being with her helped fulfill some human desire I never realized I had before.

Bella whispered, "So, what was he thinking?"

"Who?' I intentionally blew in her face. Ever since she said I dazzled her, I had this desire to see how far I could go with the dazzle. I loved watching her reactions, especially those that surprised me. Yet, again, it amazed me that her mind was closed to me and I had no way of opening it; it all depended on what she was willing to reveal to me, but I always wondered what she was holding back and why.

"You know darn well who?" From her annoyed response, I knew I hadn't dazzled her.

Maybe her emotions played a part in whether or not I affected her. I would have to experiment with that possibility. I smiled as I thought about that and outlined the bridge of her nose with my finger then refocused on our conversation. I decided to edit Charlie's thoughts slightly. "Shock at first. He thought you'd been hurt. He had an image of you tripping over your cast while dancing and breaking your other leg. Not a graceful image I might add. Has he seen you dance before?" I laughed quietly as I remembered his comment about the devil to pay. If anyone hurt Bella, I would be the devil who would extract payment.

"Ha ha, and no, I've never danced in front of him, and he was spared the sight of my ballet recitals. What else?" Bella cuddled closer to me. I enjoyed the warmth radiating from her soft body.

"Umm, you smell so good. It's a good thing Charlie can't hear my thoughts. Although, he did think you looked too _comfortable_ in my arms. He was also wondering how far our relationship has gone, and whether or not he should ask you some _very_ pointed questions on the matter, but I don't think he'll do that before you wake up." I wanted to be comforting as well as informative. I also thought she needed time to consider her reply to Charlie's inquires. I still wanted to hear that conversation.

"Hum, maybe I won't wake up. I could lay here like this forever and never fall asleep. I wonder what that would be like just to lay nestled with you all night and never sleep but revel in your closeness. Tell me how that would feel." I heard the sleepiness in her voice but could tell she was fighting it.

I kept my voice as soft and soothing as possible hoping to charm her to sleep. "I'm not sure. I've never done that before. Maybe I should stay this way until you wake up. Then I can tell you how it feels. As you sleep, I'll just breathe in your essence and cradle you next to me. Of course, if Charlie should look in before he leaves for work, I'd disappear until he closed the door." Her suggestion though was worth a try. I planned to stay by her side all night and savor her aroma and warmth. From Charlie's thoughts, I already knew he planned to go to work in the morning. That fact encouraged me; it meant I could spend all morning with Bella nestled close to her. Usually I would stay until she was in a deep sleep, and then I would either sit in her rocking chair delighting in the sight of her sleeping form while thoughts of us together formulated in my mind, or I would leave to take care of pressing tasks like thirst. A few times, I went home to talk to Esme.

She murmured, "I could just lock the door."

I envisioned the look on Charlie's face when confronted by a locked door. "Won't that make him suspicious?"

"Of what?' Her voice became softer and the words flowed slower. I knew she was falling asleep.

"Of what might be going on behind the locked door?" It took little imagination to know what Charlie's thoughts would be if that happened.

"You tell me. You know what thoughts he's been having lately. Does he suspect any deep romantic inclinations on your part? Or on mine for that matter?" She sighed deeply; it sounded like her last breathe escaping and it intensified her aromatic bouquet.

"Well . . ." I paused briefly deciding whether to tell her, and then decided to reveal some of his thoughts. I figured she was half-asleep and would remember very little of what was being said. "It has crossed his mind. He was remembering, a while back, what he was like at your age, but he was hoping girls weren't like that. In fact, he'd almost convinced himself you couldn't be like that, but something made him unsure. I never clearly caught what changed his mind." I took a small strand of her hair and twirled it around my finger. Then I inhaled deeply drawing in her aromatic scent.

"What was he like at my age?"

I chuckled softly at the thoughts I had caught of Charlie as a teenager. Bella didn't need to know everything about her father, but, then again, she was falling asleep; her voice gave away that information. Besides, whatever I revealed she probably wouldn't remember. "Very physical." A picture of Emmett with Rosalie flashed quickly through my mind.

"I wish I could see that. I wish I could know what you're thinking right now."

I was glad she didn't know my thoughts at that moment. The image of Rosalie and Emmett set my mind on a path I was unwilling to follow. Those thoughts would lead to overwhelming desires I knew couldn't be satisfied or even considered while Bella was human. Instantly, I realized I had to rectify my thinking. I had to stop thinking 'while she was human' and start reminding myself 'she was human.' I had to keep my promise; Bella would stay human and live a normal life, but that only made me wonder where I fit into her normal life. I wasn't normal, nor would my staying with her help her lead a normal life. The need to refocus my thoughts forced me to return to the conversation at hand.

Bella wanted to know what I was thinking, but I refused to share the image I briefly had of Emmett and Rosalie or her and me. Instead, I whispered softly, "I'm thinking how good you smell; how your scent is a magnet that ensnares me and fills me with a desire to get closer to you." I ran my nose up and down her neck breathing deeply. I remembered drawing out her poisoned blood at the dance studio, and its taste suddenly filled my mouth. "How tasty you were, and how much I love you that I would never want you to suffer like you did in the dance studio." I needed to change the topic; my thoughts were headed down a dark tunnel of unacceptable wants, needs, and desires. "What are you thinking?"

A long pause caused me to believe Bella had fallen asleep. Then she stirred slightly in my arms settling her body closer to mine and finally whispered, "Remember, you asked. I was thinking how this is the way I want us to be forever. Never to leave each others side. To bathe in each others desires and needs, to be so close we become as one. I was realizing how alone I've been, relying only on myself and distancing myself from most people. How my only real friend has been my mother and how I've never felt the need to let anyone else in my life . . . maybe not even Charlie, until now. Now I know that you have to be in my life or I'll fade away into nothingness with no meaning or reason for existing. Edward?" Her voice faded on her questioning lips as she dropped into a deep sleep. I couldn't fathom Bella as a solitary person without any friends. Everyone here wanted to be her friend, and some in the male population wanted more than that. I wondered if she meant any of what she had just said yet I discovered, over the past few months, what she said while sleeping was never edited but were her true thoughts.

I replied as softly as possible hoping not to wake her up but also wanting to reassure her that I was still beside her holding her tenderly in my arms. "Yes, I'm still here."

As Bella slept, my mind wandered through avenues of various possibilities. If I changed her, I would never be separated from her. The possessive side of me wanted this, but the compassionate side wanted Bella to have a normal life with a husband, children, and a human future. My darker side hated that idea. For another man to have her was unacceptable, but in order for her to lead any semblance of a normal life, I would have to release her and allow someone else to love her.

I argued back, that was not possible. No man could love her as much as I loved her. No man was worthy of her, but then, I reminded myself, I too was unworthy of her. Here was the most innocent, trusting, loving person who was unsuspectingly thrown into my path. I lead her into this dark existence and she didn't deserve to be pulled from her sunlit world. She loved the sunlight; how could I subject her to a world of darkness.

I was a demon for even thinking she should exist as I exist. She had life before her, a full rich life that I was intruding upon, but oh, how I wanted to intrude and steal that life away from her and make her a part of my world forever. What she had just said were the same thoughts that constantly invaded my mind, but I continually argued against them. How could she want to live my life? Did she know what it really entailed?

I had to be the one who remained reasonable, but at times, I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Had I not promised to remain all night with Bella, I would have left to work this demon out of my mind, but then I thought, what demon was tormenting me but me. I was the demon, the monster of the night who stole the lives of people. I was the demon who was tormenting her, and if I really loved her I would leave and never return, but I knew it was too late for that. She held my heart in her hands, and I didn't want it back.

I had no idea how long I argued internally, but I suddenly discerned a change in Bella's breathing; it became more labored and restless. At first, I thought I might've been holding her too tightly, restricting the passage of air into her lungs. I relaxed my hold slightly, but her breathing didn't return to normal. Then she began thrashing around on the bed, and I realized she was dreaming. I started humming her lullaby hoping to soothe away whatever was causing her to be restless. Her agitation only increased. I stroked her hair gently and whispered reassuringly that everything was fine and hummed some more, but nothing seemed to help. I felt inept at helping her.

At first, her voice was little more than a whisper as she began to talk in her sleep. "Edward, promise to stay . . . promise to stay forever . . . don't let me die. Promise . . . Promise, I'll never have to leave you . . . I don't want to be alone . . . I don't want to be lonely or feel the ache of losing the only person I've ever loved, or ever will love. Promise me Edward?" As I remembered what my thoughts had been, my first reaction to her comments was she had been reading my mind while she slept.

Then she became growingly restless, almost thrashing around in the bed. I held on to her, afraid if I didn't she would fall out of bed. Her voice began to rise the more restless she became. "Don't leave me." What was she dreaming? Was I hurting her or was someone else causing her pain in the dream.

"Please, Edward, don't leave me." Her voice was much louder. I tried harder to soother her. If she got any louder, Charlie would be able to hear her. Then she began shouting. I sensed Charlie waking up; he was disoriented but worried. I heard him leaving his bed and knew he was on his way to Bella's room.

As much as I wanted to remain, I knew I had to leave. Charlie could not find me in bed next to his daughter. As I went out the window, I heard Bella shouting, "Edward . . . Edward? No, don't leave." Did she sense I was leaving?

I stayed outside the window in the shadows; I couldn't leave with Bella in so much turmoil. I heard Charlie knocking on her door and calling her name. Once more Bella called, "Edward, don't leave." If only her mind was not closed to me, I would know what was happening, but the only mind I heard was Charlie's and he was envisioning us in bed together. Charlie's thoughts were in a rage. _He'd better not be in there with her. What was she thinking; I can't believe she would do something like this. Where did we go wrong? When I get my hands on him..._

I stayed as close to the house as possible so I could hear what was happening in Bella's room. I had to know what she was saying.

Bella called out one more time, but softly as if pleading with her heart, "Edward, don't leave." It took every ounce of determination I had not to race through her window and tell her I was still beside her.

Then I heard Charlie's voice. "Bella?" In his mind, he made a mental note that Bella was lying on her bed and that I was not hiding in any corner of the room. Then he noted that Bella was moving around in the bed like something was bothering her. Her movement didn't overly concern him, so I figured she was not thrashing around as much as when I was in the room. I began to wonder if she might be on the verge of waking up.

I heard Bella say, "Mom was supposed to tell you. She promised to tell you."

Charlie was more scared than concerned as he said, "Tell me what Bells?"

It was hard to follow what was happening in Bella's room. I had indistinguishable images and confused thoughts coming from Charlie, so I mostly relied on Bella's words and the tone of her voice. When she replied to Charlie's question, her tone sounded confused and disoriented. "Charlie? Mom was supposed to tell you. Why didn't she tell you?"

I heard Charlie's confusion and embarrassment in his thoughts. He realized he had come into Bella's room expecting to find us in a clandestine circumstance but found only Bella in the midst of a nightmare and talking incoherently. "Tell me what Bells?" I heard him asked her once more.

What I heard next shocked me. I knew it had to be Bella's voice, and yet it sounded a little like her mother. "Charlie, Isabella talks in her sleep."

Bella began to scream, but it was quickly muffled. I felt Charlie's shock and heard him ask, "Bella?" I focused intently on Charlie's mind and realized he had put his hand over her mouth in an attempt to stop her scream. Through his waves of fear, he said, "Bella? Are you awake?" But he thought, _Is she okay? What if I shouldn't have woken her up? Didn't I read once it could be harmful to wake someone up . . . wait that was for sleepwalkers._

At some point, he must have removed his hand from Bella's mouth because I heard her clearly say, "What?" I guessed she was finally awake.

"Bella? Are you okay? Are you awake?" From Charlie's tone and thoughts, I knew he was very worried, but he was too shocked to think clearly.

I sensed Bella's confusion by the tone of her voice. Despite the fact that I could not hear her thoughts, I was slowly learning to read her tones. "Where's mom? When did she come?"

"Bella," Charlie said quietly, "Your mom isn't here."

"But I just heard her." Her confusion became more evident as she spoke.

"No Bella, that was you," Charlie's voice sounded puzzled and concerned. He also wondered if Bella was awake or if she was still talking in her sleep. Had I been able to, I could have informed him that Bella was definitely awake. Even from this distance, and listening intently, I could hear the slight shift in her breathing and heart rate.

"Me?" Her breathing quickened, as did her pulse.

"Bells, do you talk in your sleep?" _Should I have known this before? Did Bella talk in her sleep as a child? Why didn't I know this? What kind of father am I?_ Charlie's thoughts revealed his concern for Bella and his role as a father.

"Mom didn't tell you? She promised me." There was a slight pause and I could hear someone shifting positions. "Dad, help me sit up." Charlie felt slightly uncomfortable; he was not use to close contact with his daughter. As much as I knew he loved her, he still felt awkward about displaying his feelings to her. He thought too much parental concern would erect a barrier between their developing but brittle relationship. "Dad, mom promised she would warn you about the fact that I talk in my sleep. She knew I felt uncomfortable talking to you about it. I do it quite often, but usually no one hears me. Why did you come into my room?"

"I thought I heard voices. I thought, now don't get mad, but I thought that boy was in here with you." Yes, Charlie's thoughts as he first approached Bella's door revealed a lot about his concerns and worries.

"Dad, he isn't _that boy_. His name is Edward, and if you think I'd do something like _that_ under your nose, then you've no faith or trust in me. Besides, I've never, never done anything like that." Bella's tone had turned more serious, as did Charlie's thoughts. He hadn't meant to refer to me as a boy; he wanted to say man, but refrained. I knew a serious moment was occurring between Bella and her father, and that it wasn't right to listen, but since it concerned me as well, I felt compelled to listen.

Bella's change in tone made him more alert; he was deciding if he should ask some more pointed questions, like how serious was serious. Instead, he said, "Bella, I'm sorry. It was just that I heard voices, and I'm sorry I thought the worse." He thought he should apologize first before asking for more information because his thoughts had unquestionably been focused on what every father fears regarding their teenage daughters and boys.

There was a fleeting silence, and then Bella must have decided on her course of action because her voice became more indomitable. "Look dad. I'm serious about how I feel about Edward. In fact, I love him deeply. Maybe I'm old enough to think about things like that, but I would never put myself in a position where I would shock or offend you or mom. I know, you think I'm too young to know about love, I mean real love, but I'm not. I know how I feel about Edward. I ache with loneliness when he is not around, and I feel completely content and fulfilled when I'm with him. I know you at least like him, but don't change your opinion of him because I feel this way toward him." At first, I found it hard to believe she was telling Charlie all of this, but I could tell from her tone that she meant every word. She was committing herself to me in front of her father. A smile crept across my face. She was imparting herself to me. Then I frowned, she was handing herself to me; did she have any idea what that really entailed. Did she really understand what kind of existence I had? I couldn't allow her to do that with her life, and yet I wasn't able to convince myself to relinquish her.

Inside, the discussion continued. Charlie was worried now. He was sure Bella had no idea of what love really was, that she only imagined how she was feeling. He thought his and Renee's feelings would continue and grow, but he knew what happened to them; besides, he thought, Bella was still a child, what did she really know about love. "Bella, you're only seventeen. You haven't even met that many people. How can you know this is love and not a teenage crush? I mean, look at your mom and I, we thought we were in love too, but it didn't work out."

"Dad, I'm not you or mom," there was a slight pause, and if I hadn't know better, I would have thought Bella was able to read minds for she continued, "And I'm not a child. I don't look at the world or my life in a childish way. Ask mom; she knows I've always had a more mature outlook on the world. I know things didn't work out for you and mom; I don't know if it was because you didn't love each other enough or if there were other factors involved, but I do know how I feel. I know how I felt when I left after breaking up with Edward. I couldn't stand to be away from him, that's why I was in such a rush to meet him when he flew to Phoenix. Maybe that's why I was so careless, but despite the accident, I do know how empty my life would be if he weren't a part of it." There was a slight pause before she continued, "I promise, if we decide to get engaged or married, you'll be the first person we tell."

I'm not sure who was more shocked by that last comment; Charlie instantly saw Bella in a resplendent white wedding dress, but the backdrop was a deep red. I, on the other hand, was shocked beyond thought. Was she seriously thinking along those lines? I was thrilled and angry at the same time. I couldn't deny I wanted her, but I refused to take any steps that would condemn her to following my existence. Then I thought about the red background in Charlie's vision of Bella and wondered if that was what people meant when they said they were seeing red.

Intruding upon those thoughts was Bella's next comment, "I'll make him ask permission first, okay?" There was a hint of humor in her voice. Maybe she only mentioned the engagement and marriage as a way to lighten the situation. I couldn't tell if I felt relieved or disappointed by that fact.

The relief in Charlie, however, was evident from his thoughts. _She's joking. I can accept that._ "Bella, I just worry about you, and I only want the best for you."

"Believe it or not dad, Edward is the best for me. Now, if it's okay with you, I need to get up and wash my face."

"Do you need some help?" Charlie's mind was rushing through uncomfortable thoughts about helping Bella, and hoping she'd tell him she wouldn't need his help.

"No, dad. I can do this. I'll call Alice later if I need help. What time is it?"

"It's around ten," he said, but he thought, _That's a relief._ "I planned on going into work today, but if you need me to stay," _maybe I should stay around until Alice comes over._

"No, dad. You go and do whatever it is you need to do. I'll be fine. Besides, Edward is coming over later, and Alice is only a phone call away. Oh, and dad, please don't tell mom what I just said. I think it would be best if I told her first. In fact, I'll email her later today, and as soon as she reads it you will probably receive a very heated call from her, but tell her to stop yelling at you and call me." She was getting serious if she was willing to email her mother about us. "You might want to be careful listening in on my sleep talking. You never know if what I'm saying is reality or part of some extremely weird dream I'm having." I wondered if I played a role in those _extremely_ weird dreams.

"Your dreams can't be any weirder than mine, but at least I don't talk in my sleep . . .. It's a good thing I don't," and with that last comment, a picture of Alice in her prom dress flashed briefly in and out of his thoughts.

The minute I heard Charlie exiting the room with thoughts of getting ready for work, I instantly returned to Bella's room. She was attempting to maneuver her way out of bed, but I wasn't ready for her to leave yet. I wrapped my arms around her warm body and softly said, "Did you do that for me?" I couldn't help but caress her white neck with my lips.

"No," she murmured, and I felt her pulse quicken. I liked that I had that affect on her, but I hated myself at the same time for taking pleasure in that fact. Despite her reactions, she continued, "I did that for us. I thought I'd broach the subject on my terms rather than his. You did say he planned to talk to me; I just saved him the trouble of finding a way to introduce the subject." I could feel the blood racing through the veins in her neck. How close that blood was to my lips, and how sweet it smelled. Bella still failed to realize how tempting she was to my natural thirst, but the love I felt for her helped stop the monster within me from gratifying it voracious lust for her blood.

I needed to stop thinking about her blood and think about something more neutral, but even as I said, "You really were talking in your sleep," I couldn't stop myself from kissing the other side of her neck. I had no desire to stop relishing the feel of her warm silky skin, or the human desires that were escalating within me. Her blood was not all I lusted after. The feel of her skin and the taste of her lips also filled my mind with an insatiable desire for more.

I knew the affect my kisses were having on Bella because her voice was richer and breathier. "I didn't know I fell asleep. Was I getting hysterical? I nearly died when I thought my mother was in the room, but Charlie said it was my voice even though I distinctly heard my mother's voice."

I enjoyed the fact that I could affect her in this manner, but she did need to know that her mother was never present. "It may have sounded like her voice to you, but it was coming out of your mouth."

I continued kissing her. She was addictive, and she responded to my every touch. I understood why Emmett and Jasper enjoyed their time alone with Rosalie and Alice respectively. I never realized what I had been missing all these years, but I needed to remind myself that it would not last. I had continued taking Bella away from life with the knowledge that I needed to restore her to her old life, but at the same time, I refused to return her.

Suddenly, Bella launched herself at me, but she nearly fell out of the bed because of the cast. An image of her sprawled on the floor with a second broken leg flashed across my vision, and I knew if it had happened, it would have been my fault. Once again, my actions nearly caused Bella more pain.

"Bella," I said anxiously. "Are you okay?"

"No," she moaned.

I gently scooped her up, placed her on my lap, and looked deeply into her soft brown eyes. I felt her heart race faster, but her breathing completely stopped. "Breath, Bella, before you hyperventilate," I smiled. Once again, I dazzled her. My lovely Bella, how was I ever going to resist her? I decided not to and kissed her luscious soft lips, and then I breathed her into my being. Every deep breath I took, was like taking a deep drink of her aroma, and I decided at that moment that that was the most I could ever take from her and not feel like the monster I knew I was.

Then, Bella released her pent up emotions and placed her lips firmly upon mine. She was as good at this as she said I was. I had meant to draw away, but instead I felt myself responding to her passion. It was heavenly to feel this way, but one of us had to stop before it erupted into something neither of us would be able to control, so I slowly and reluctantly began to pull away from her. "Where did that come from?" My shock at what almost happened was evident in my voice.

"From deep within," she murmured and buried her face in my chest.

"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" I laughed. Without a doubt, she wasn't aware of the total affect she had on me.

"Make me a part of you forever, never leave me, and love me beyond all imagination." She was getting better at this. She seemed to find the perfect time to say just the right words, almost as if she had read my mind. I almost asked her just that, but then she quickly said, "I need a human moment, if you don't mind," and got up off of my lap.

Oh yes, Bella was definitely getting better at this and I couldn't help but laugh at that bit of knowledge. I would have to be more careful in the future, or she would one day catch me at a vulnerable moment and I would give in to anything she asked. I began to realize that where Bella was concerned I was not as strong as I thought I was and that could be dangerous for us both.

Bella turned with a slightly graceful pivot, took my face gently between her delicate white hands and said with a coy smile, "And, Edward, I've decided to tell you everything I'm thinking."

My surprise must have been evident on my face, for she smiled slyly at me before she picked up her bag and hobbled into the bathroom. I had time to reflect upon her words, and I wondered what she had planned.

The one thing that surprised me the most about Bella was that it was impossible to second-guess what she would do next. At times, I found her the most unpredictable person I had ever encountered, and I knew beyond any doubt that I would never find anyone like Bella ever again. No, she was definitely unique. How could I possibly forfeit someone so special and rare? Everyday she was becoming increasingly more a part of me, but I couldn't convince myself to change her because I knew deep inside that I didn't deserve her and she didn't deserve to endure an existence like mine. In the end, were we going to hurt each other or just ourselves? I wanted her to hurt me by leaving. I deserved to be hurt, but she didn't deserve any pain. Her life should only be filled with the happiest of moments, and a love that would never cause her pain or heartache. I felt she could never have that with a creature like me.


	3. A New Day & A Promise Bella

_AN: The characters of Twilight do not belong to me. Edward, Bella, and the rest of the characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. The ideas may be mine, but the rest belongs to her._

_I hope my offering is enjoyed._

_Edited 9-12-07 _

* * *

A New Day & a Promise – Bella

After having Edward help me wrap my cast in plastic, I took my shower. I discovered it was good place to think without being distracted by Edward's presence or touch.

I noticed my thoughts were clearer when I was apart from Edward. I found positive and negative outcomes to this fact. It was positive because I thought more logically than emotionally, and I had time to plan what to say or do next in my relationship with Edward. The negative side was that I was away from him, and in my human condition, and this I thought about a lot, time was fleeting. I knew I was living on borrowed time and soon fate would catch up with me, and when it finally did, I wasn't sure if I would survive. Edward had already saved me four times, but what would happen if he wasn't nearby to save me? I could see that Edward would have to make a decision, either change me or lose me. It was important to me to know which he would do when the final confrontation with fate occurred. Edward was always asking me what I was thinking; I decided it was time I start telling him without editing, if possible, even if it made him angry. If I made him angry enough while revealing my inner most thoughts and feelings, he would either consent to change me or he'd leave me, and, if he left me, I might as well be dead because there would be no life for me without him. The question I had to ask myself was could I keep a clear enough mind to tell Edward what I actually thought while wrapped in his arms.

After my shower, I walked into the bedroom towel drying my hair. My decisive moment had occurred. Could I keep my resolve and truly tell Edward what I was thinking?

"I was just thinking." I took a pause to clear my head; no matter how often I was around him, his eyes and scent overwhelmed me. Then I jumped in, "I don't want you to change me. I realized . . ." but I stopped in mid-sentence because of the look on Edward's face. It was a very intense puzzled yet shocked look. "What? Did I do something wrong?" I stopped towel drying my hair and stared at him.

"No, not wrong, but did you just hear what you said?" He continued to look at me quizzically.

I walked over where he was seated cross-legged on the now made bed and sat down in front of him with my casted leg hanging over the edge. "Yes, I know what I just said because I have been thinking about the ramification of what could occur if you changed me now." Okay, I seemed to have his full attention and surprisingly my thoughts were clear. "If you changed me now, I'd have to disappear, especially for the three days while I'm changing. Charlie would become very suspicious of you and would demand to know where I was. Also, I wouldn't be able to finish out the school year, and I've missed enough school because of my last little incident." He laughed at that. "In addition, it'd be better if I wasn't living at home or going to high school when the change occurred because then no one would wonder where I was because we could make up some plausible lie that would be accepted." I stopped still watching his reaction. At least he didn't seem mad, just slightly taken aback at my unexpected revelation. "Am I wrong?"

"No Bella. These issues do need to be considered. The fact that you've taken time to think about them surprises me especially after the way you've been trying to convince me to change you. Why the sudden change?" Now he looked as though he suspected some subterfuge designed to make him change his mind.

I wanted to put his mind at ease, so I continued, "Rational thinking has returned. I've discovered if I do my real thinking while I'm away from you, I look at things more logically rather than emotionally. That can be rather hard to do when you're around."

He smiled, reached over, and pulled me toward him. "Oh, is that so?" He positioned him self so he could pull me onto his lap with my back leaned up against his chest. Then he moved my hair aside exposing the right side of my neck. Next, he began kissing my neck at the base and slowly moved his kisses up my neck.

As he kissed me, I said, "Yes, that's so." My breathing rapidly increased and so did my pulse. "When you do things like that, all reason vanishes and my emotions totally take over. It gets harder to breath, and my heart, well even you know what happens to it. Oh, Edward, how can I think like a rational person while you're sending electrical charges throughout my body?" My voice became softer, and I leaned more into his steely chest wanting to turn enough so his lips would reach my lips. I really hated the cast because it made it harder to shift myself; I wanted his lips to reach mine, and I so wanted to be kissing him back. Then, a still small voice in the back of my mind reminded me that I had not finished telling him what I meant to say before my emotions took control. I knew I had to force myself to regain some control. "Edward," I murmured, but I meant it to sound more forceful. I gathered up what resources I had; I was determined to make my voice more dynamic and said his name again, "Edward," but it came out in a shout.

"Did I hurt you?" He stopped kissing me immediately and withdrew from me a little, but not enough that I might have fallen over since I was leaning entirely on him for support.

"No, I was just trying to get your attention." I laughed slightly. I had been more forceful then originally planned.

"Well you have it, but you didn't need to shout at me." He seemed surprised and maybe a little hurt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout. I was just trying to be a little more assertive and less emotionally engrossed in your touch." I disentangled myself from his arms and got up off the bed. "I meant what I said about changing me, but I want you to make me a promise."

"Bella, you know I can't deny you anything," he smiled and allowed his eyes to look deeply into mine.

"Edward, don't try to dazzle me, I'm trying to be serious. As to denying me nothing, you do deny me the one thing I truly want."

"But you just said . . ."

And I cut him off by saying, "Yes, and I meant that, but I still would like you to make me a promise." I sat down again on the bed, but this time not so near him.

"Anything." Now his smile did dazzle me. I began to wonder if his perfection and propinquity would ever stop having this result on me.

Would he feel like I felt when I made hasty promises to him? I'd only find out by asking. "Promise me Edward, that if I'm ever about to die, you'll change me. Don't allow me to lose you. Promise me that Edward."

From the look on his face, I knew exactly how he felt. He had said anything, but this promise was not what he had expected. "Bella, you know how I feel about stealing your life from you."

"But, Edward, it wouldn't be you stealing it. It would be something or someone else, and you would be giving me an eternity with you. I wouldn't be losing anything."

"No Bella, I can't." He turned his eyes away from mine, but this time I decided that I needed to do the dazzling. It was my life or loss of it that we were talking about.

I slid closer to him, took his beloved face between my trembling hands, and looked deep into his topaz colored eyes. "Edward, I'm not asking you not to save me if you can, I'm asking you to save me another way if my life is being stolen in some other manner. I have skirted death four times now. First when I sat down beside you in Biology class, second when Tyler's van nearly crushed me, third in Port Angeles, and finally," and I couldn't help but shutter at the memory, "in Phoenix. We've been cheating fate, Edward. What if fate refuses to give up? What if fate wins next time? Will you allow fate to steal me away from you forever?" I never once allowed my eyes to leave his because I knew if I did, he'd be able to look away and then I'd lose his attention.

"Please Edward, promise. Either you change me or allow someone else in your family to change me," I said that in the most beguiling voice I could summon from the depths of my heart. I was determined to hold eye contact until he answered me even if we had to sit there for the rest of the day.

Finally, after a long silence, Edward answered with a slight growl behind his words, "I promise, but only if it's the only way to save you."

"That's all I'm asking at this time. Thank you Edward," and I swiftly kissed him before moving away.

"Bella?" He got up from the bed, stood in front of me and held my face between his hands. He stared intently at me. "What is going on?"

He gently lifted me in his arms, carried me to the old rocking chair, and sat down settling me on his lap, but the whole time his eyes looked deeply into to mine as though he were trying to see my thoughts rather than hear them. There was long silence, and I felt as though I were falling into his eyes; they were so clear and deep.

Edward broke the silence by asking, "Why these changes? Like telling your dad about your feelings for me, telling me everything your thinking, and asking for this promise. This doesn't seem like the Bella I have grown to love and cherish. Why?"

I took a deep breath. "Am I not me any more? Do you suddenly love me less?" At least he wasn't mad because of the promise, and this time, he did not vanish from my sight.

"No. In fact, you are becoming even more desirable because of this new mystery. Your mind doesn't follow a track I can predict. It functions in some alien manner that I can't completely comprehend, and just when I think I've figured out where your thoughts are going, they completely change. I find you totally mystifying and surprisingly more loveable because of your uniqueness." All this time, all I could think was how glorious his face was when he spoke so lovingly to me.

Since I had started telling him my thoughts, I figured I'd just forge ahead and tell him what was going through my mind at that moment. "Your eyes are such deep pools, I could lose myself in them, but I haven't really changed . . . I have . . . what is the word I'm looking for. Evolved? Expanded? Matured? No, those aren't right. You know the mind spends a vast amount of time once in awhile seeking the right word to say what it means. Edward, I haven't changed, I'm . . . I've got it . . . I'm opening up, blossoming, sharing the inner most part of myself with you. I want our relationship to be truthful, honest, and open. I don't want to edit my thoughts for you because I watch you sometimes trying so hard to see what is behind my words. I know it's sometimes a struggle for you when I talk, I can see it in your eyes, because you are so use to hearing what's behind everyone else's words. So, I decided if I tell you everything I'm thinking, then you'll stop frowning when I say something that puzzles or bothers you, but I must warn you, you may not like everything I'm thinking so there you'll have to run the risk of getting angry with me. Just remember, I only want to be open and up front with you."

"And about Charlie," I continued as he held me close, "you said he was going to talk to me anyway, and as I said before, I just thought I would jump in on my own terms and time and tell him how things stood between us. But, you'll notice I didn't tell him everything. I don't know if he'd be thrilled, like I am, if I told him you stay with me every night and hold me while I sleep." I smiled as I said that because warmth just enveloped me, and I felt my face flushing. "I was just thinking how boring it would be to sleep alone, and how depressing it is when you're hunting and there's no one to hold me securely while I'm sleeping. You know Edward, loving you is the best thing that's ever happened in my life. I don't think I can ever go back to being the solitary person I was when I first came here. That Bella was incomplete, and now she has bloomed into a full person because of finding the only person she can ever love." I laid my head on his shoulder and kissed his neck. I don't think I' ever done that before, but I knew how it made me feel when he did it to me, so I thought I'd see how it affected him. Then I whispered in his ear, "What are you thinking?"

"You talk too much," and he wrapped me in his arms and kissed me soundly on the lips then moved to my eyes, nose, cheeks, and neck.

I knew if he kept kissing me, I'd to lose it again and would respond in an unacceptable manner, so I pulled away a little and once again rested my cheek on his shoulder and whispered softly in his ear, "I'm going to get carried away in half a second if you aren't careful. Do you have any idea of the things I'm feeling when you kiss me like that, or how your touch affects me? I think about this a lot and wonder how long can I hold back, and what would happen if I just let go. I long for that more than you might imagine, but then I remind myself that I can't do anything that might drive you away. Maybe that's why I'm so afraid you'll leave me because I've pushed you too far, and you'll decide you can't be anywhere near me. Then I start thinking about the time when you'll grow tired of me and not be interested in me anymore. You'll stop loving me, and then I'll be alone. My life will be void of all meaning," and while I spilled all these thoughts, he caressed my neck with his lips and kissed my ears and eyelids, and I became increasingly disoriented to what I was saying but let my mouth run with the thoughts that were flowing through my mind.

"And your lips are sending tingling sensations throughout my body, and I want it to continue and never stop or end, but a voice in the back of my mind keeps whispering 'this is only temporary. You'll grow old and he'll leave you. You'll be alone until you die. Death will be even more of a friend because then you're aching will end.' Then my hearts begin to ache and . . ." I stopped. I felt my voice catch and tears began to run down my cheeks, and I was unable to stop them. Edward pulled away and looked shocked by what I said. "Please don't be angry Edward."

"Bella, I'm not angry at you. I'm angry with myself because I'm the one who ends up causing you all this pain. I find myself, at times, wishing I had stayed away from you. If I had stayed in Alaska, you wouldn't be going through these feelings. You'd be happier and leading a normal life."

With tears streaming down my cheek, I interrupted his comments by saying, "No Edward. I would be dead. Had you stayed away, Tyler's van would've crushed me and no one would've been there to save my life. I'm only alive now because of you."

"But Bella . . ."

"Don't Edward. You know this is true; you know it as well as I do. You stopped fate; you changed my destiny. You're responsible for me being here now. I owe you my life, but it doesn't change how I feel toward you. Nothing will ever change how I feel toward you. I believe it's also part of my destiny to love you forever. Nobody can ever replace you in my heart or desires. Edward, don't leave me." I was afraid I may have gone to far again and the tears refused to stop.

"Don't cry Bella. I promised I would never leave you. Can't you believe that?" He began kissing my teary cheek.

I tried to keep my voice from breaking, "Yes and no."

"Why?"

"As long as I'm human, I'll age. The time will come when you'll not want me around because I'll be too old. Even if you stayed, it wouldn't be enough. Just having you kiss me or hold me like now or as I sleep will one day not be enough. My feelings and needs will become stronger and harder to resist. One day I may force you to act in a way that will hurt both of us and it might not be correctable." The more I talked, the more I cried. I was becoming angrier with myself and the situation.

Edward held me tighter. "Bella, my little Bella. What am I going to do with you?" Edward sighed. But was his sigh a sign of frustration, acceptance, or resistance to the inevitable?

I wanted to be open and honest. "I thought it would be a good idea to tell you everything I was thinking, but this is becoming harder and I am becoming angry at myself for telling you all this. I hadn't meant to say things that would hurt either of us, but the more of my thoughts I tell you, the more I think and now I feel like I'm just rambling and if you don't shut me up, I'm going to end up . . ." and he did shut me up by pressing his cold inviting lips on mine.

When he finally let me come up for air, he said, "Bella, you don't have to tell me everything you're thinking. Maybe it's better if I don't know everything you think. In fact, the more you talk the less time we have for this," and he kissed me again. "You've already said you don't want me to change you. Does that mean you'll stop asking?"

I tried not to lose control as he kissed me, but the effort must have broken down a barrier I had erected or I would not have allowed the following to come out of my mouth. "I said now isn't the right time, but there's nothing better than having you with me. Life has no meaning without you. You're my angel. My world now revolves around you. I have no life and I want no life without you, and I definitely don't want any other man in my life, I just want you forever throughout all eternity."

As he continued caressing my neck and cheek with his kisses he said, "What other man? Is someone else seeking your attention?"

"No," I replied softly, "but you said if you hadn't been around, I'd be living a normal life, which means, eventually, some man would try to attract my attention. Like Mike, Eric, and Tyler did, but look what happened to them. I turned them all down, partly because of you, but also because they didn't interest me in any way. Friends yes, anything else no. I don't want to talk about this anymore. My emotions are taking over. Could you just kiss me?" And he obligingly did. At some point, he carried me back over to the bed, and we laid there and continued kissing. Time became irrelevant to me, all that mattered was that I was in his arms and his lips were on me.

Unfortunately, time wasn't irrelevant to my stomach. When it began to growl, Edward knew what to do. "I think it's time to feed the human," so he carried me downstairs where I slapped together a quick sandwich while he poured me a glass of milk.

As I sat down to eat my boring meal, Edward reached around from behind to hug me and whispered softly in my ear, "So, besides sharing your inner most thoughts with me, what else would you like to do today?"

"Hmm. You know, I did give that some thought this morning."

"And here I thought you were going to tell me everything." He caressed my neck with his lips.

If I was ever to finish my lunch, for it was now well after twelve, he would have to stop kissing my neck because it was just too hard to chew and swallow when other emotions were welling up inside of me. "You're right, but I got side tracked from this thought because of others you created, and I'll never finish my lunch if you keep side tracking me."

He moved my hair off the back of my neck and worked around to the other side with his lips. "Do you mean this?" And he caressed my neck even more with his lips.

"Um, that does distract. Who would want to eat when activities like this are taking place?" I put my sandwich down, totally forgotten.

"Well, then maybe I should stop," but he didn't, he just worked around to the other side again.

"Yah, maybe you should," there was little emphasis behind my words because I just leaned my neck more into his kisses.

"So, what do you want to do this afternoon?" How could he talk and not break the movement of his lips around my neck? For someone who claimed he didn't remember much about being human, he sure had the romance perfected.

"Well, I'd like to go to the meadow today." Lunch ended; I couldn't focus on food with his lips brushing back and forth on my neck.

Edward chuckled, "You know what that means."

I gave a little moan, not only because I knew he'd have to carry me, but because of the feelings that were swelling inside of me. "Yes, but I've already resolved myself to that fact. You go home and get transportation, and don't hurry on my account because while you're gone, I'm going to email my mother." That thought brought a groan to my lips.

"Are you sure Bella? Telling Charlie was one thing, but telling your mother?"

"No, I need to do this now while my resolve is set."

"You do have the courage of a lion, no matter what you say about yourself. I will give you ten minutes, and then I'll be back." He chuckled as he finally stopped kissing my neck.

"No, Edward, give me at least fifteen." As he got up to leave, I amended, "Better make that twenty, it'll take me five just to get up the stairs."

Instead of leaving, he scooped me up in his strong arms and rushed me up to my room. "Now you only need fifteen," he laughed.

I booted up my computer and waited for it to finish loading; at first I thought that would take my entire fifteen minutes, but while it was laboring to load, I began to write my message in my head, so that when it was ready, so was I.

_Mom_

_I won't tell you to sit down because I know you already are. So here is my news. Edward took me to the prom last night, despite my overwhelming protests, and I surprisingly enjoyed the experience. It was not the prom I enjoyed, however, as much as the company. I really want you to get to know Edward better because I have come to a momentous decision – I'm going to marry him as soon as I can convince him to propose. Now, don't hyperventilate or scream, just hear me out. I love Edward more than I can explain, and yes, I remember your talk about the difference between love, lust, and teenage boys, but mom, this is love. It must be what you felt for Phil when you told me you were going to marry him, and I must admit, I didn't understand what you saw in him, but he was your choice so I accepted that you knew what you were doing. Be as understanding with me – please. I have given this a lot of thought, and I know what I feel for Edward. This feeling comes from deep within my heart, and if I admit the truth to myself, I loved him the first time I saw him. This is not something I would say if it weren't true. In fact, it would be easier to say it's only a crush, but mom, that would be lying to you and me. And don't blame this on Charlie. He had no way of knowing I would fall in love with anyone who lived in Folks, in fact, I'd never have thought it possible, but it has happened, it is true, and my heart has been given to Edward. If you ever learned anything about me in all these years, you must remember that once I have made a decision about something important, I do not change my mind. I'm not flighty like all of those other teenage girls I went to school with. Remember how we use to laugh over their weekly boyfriends and conjectured on who they would fall madly in love with the next week. Well, that is not me. And to emphasis how I feel, I will be happy to live in Forks for the rest of my natural life if that is were Edward chooses to live, and if he chooses to move to Alaska or any other remote area, I will gladly follow him. I am sorry this is coming as a shock to you and that it is in an email, but I thought it was better this way before I call you and talk about my feelings. And please don't call Charlie and start yelling at him. There is no way he could have seen this coming and no way could he have prevented it. I must go; Edward will be here in a few minutes to take me on a picnic._

_Love Bella_

I had the mouse poised over the send button when Edward interrupted, "Are you really going to send that to your mom?"

With profound determination, I clicked the mouse and sent the message. "Does that answer your question?" There was a touch of irritation in my voice. "How long have you been standing there?" I never meant him to read the message to my mom. He knew how I felt, but this was the first time I put it into words.

"Long enough. So, how are you going to convince me?"

I could feel the blush beginning at the tips of my toes and by the time it reached my face, it would be shockingly red. "People who invade the privacy of others may learn unsettling information, but that's the risk of being overly inquisitive."

That crooked smile I loved so much spread across his face. "And others turn a lovely shade of red when caught."

"Do you think it'll overwhelm her? I wanted her to know how serious I am; not like in the hospital when I was trying to soothe her fears. Are you upset about that comment?" Not only was I blushing, but also I felt extremely reluctant to look at his eyes for fear I would see rejection in them.

Edward took my chin in his hand and tilted my face up so my eyes met his. "Did you really fall in love with me the first time you saw me?"

"Indubitably." I turned off the computer, got up, and hobbled toward the door. "Can we go now?" I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell him more yet. Once in the meadow I could say things that might upset him, but he couldn't run away from me because he'd never leave me there by myself. Besides, I felt these were things I needed to say, to get them out in the open so I would stop brooding over them. I was very thankful, once again, that my mind was one he could not invade or over hear.

I hadn't noticed he moved, but I found him instantly in front of me asking, "Are you going to explain that?" His eyes held mine, but my resolve was set, and I was determined I wouldn't let him dazzle me this time.

So, in order to avoid the dazzle, I leaned toward him and whispered, "I'll tell you later," then planted a swift kiss on his lusciously scented lips.

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Next up Edward's PoV.


	4. A New Day & A Promise Edward

_A/N: This is Edwards chapter. Once again, these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Hope every one enjoys Edwards PoV and let's me know what they think by reviewing._

_Edited 9-12-07 _

* * *

A New Day & A Promise – Edward

After I helped Bella wrap her cast in plastic, she went to take a shower. While she was gone, I made her bed and savored her aroma on the sheets and blankets. Her scent even permeated my clothing. I realized all my clothing eventually would be Bella scented. I wondered if, while hunting, her human scent would warn off the prey. I realized I was beginning to make Bella's bedroom an extension of my home. I felt very comfortable spending my evening with Bella. I enjoyed the feel of her next to me in bed; her warmth tantalized my senses, as did her proximity. How was I going to give this up? When the time came, how was I going to give her up? No, for me the bigger question was 'was I willing to give her up.' If I was truthful with myself, the answer was irrefutably no.

Sometime, having acute hearing was an asset, but as I listened to the water running in the shower, I began to wonder if that were still true. My mind was focused fully on Bella, and knowing what she was currently doing created images in my mind of her actions – images I needed to repress because they weren't gentlemanly and they stimulated desires that needed repressing. Emmett had been right about one thing, there were many activities Bella and I couldn't share, but at least I could share my time with her. I had to remind myself that that would be enough. While I had Bella, I wouldn't feel alone.

Bella walked out towel drying her hair. Her scent was fresh and overwhelming; I loved the smell of her, but I loved the look of her ever more.

"I was just thinking."

I smiled at Bella's comment; it seemed she was always thinking, but not necessarily sharing.

"I don't want you to change me. I realized . . ."

I was astounded; I couldn't believe what she just said. Where had that come from?

"What? Did I do something wrong?" Bella gave me a quizzical look as she stopped drying her hair.

"No, not wrong, but did you just hear what you said?" This wasn't like Bella. Would she really stop asking me to change her? Had she changed her mind about me? I didn't want to investigate that thought because I couldn't envision an existence with Bella. So, what made her change her mind?

Bella walked over to me, I sat cross-legged on her bed, and sat down in front of me. "Yes, I know what I just said because I've been thinking about the ramification of what could occur if you changed me now."

Okay, she had my full attention.

"If you changed me now, I'd have to disappear, especially for the three days while I'm changing. Charlie would become very suspicious of you and would demand to know where I was. Also, I wouldn't be able to finish out the school year, and I've missed enough school because of my last little incident."

I laughed at that comment and silently acknowledged the maturity of her thinking.

"In addition, it'd be better if I wasn't living at home or going to high school when the change occurred because then no one would wonder where I was because we could make up some plausible lie that would be accepted. Am I wrong?" Her eyes gazed into mine looking for confirmation.

_Absolutely not_, I thought, _she has given this careful consideration_. I was proud of her for taking the time to contemplate this matter. "No Bella. These issues do need to be considered. The fact that you have taken time to think about them surprises me especially after the way you've been trying to convince me to change you. Why the sudden change?" I wondered if she hid ulterior motives. Had she decided she didn't want to spend eternity with me? Maybe her experience being hunted had affected her feelings for me. Could that be the reason for this change in thinking?

Bella smiled. "Rational thinking has returned. I've discovered if I do my real thinking while I'm away from you, I look at things more logically rather than emotionally. That can be rather hard to do when you're around."

If I still stimulated her emotionally, then she hadn't changed her mind about me. I felt I needed to find out how emotional I could make her. "Oh, is that so?" I pulled her onto my lap so her back leaned up against my chest. I slowly moved her hair aside exposing the right side of her neck, and then gently but methodically began to explore her neck with my lips. I wanted to ask how emotional she was feeling, but decided to continue my exploration.

I could feel Bella's pulse quicken and her breathing rapidly increased. I decided if I could really make her feel this way, maybe she wasn't thinking about leaving me or ending our relationship. This couldn't just be a physical experience for her; I didn't believe Bella could be that shallow.

Breathlessly Bella said, "Yes, that's so. When you do things like that, all reason vanishes and my emotions totally take over. It gets harder to breath, and my heart, well even you know what happens to it. Oh, Edward, how can I think like a rational person while you're sending electrical charges throughout my body?" Her voice became softer, and she leaned closer.

Bella's reaction was nothing compared to mine. I enjoyed her closeness, but I consciously continued to remind myself of how breakable Bella was; I couldn't afford to relax my control even the slightest bit.

"Edward," Bella murmured and then she shouted, "Edward."

I instantly stopped afraid I had done something to harm Bella. I had been so careful, but maybe I hadn't been careful enough. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, I was just trying to get your attention," she laughed slightly.

"Well you have it, but you didn't need to shout at me." I had been surprised at the force behind the shout and a little upset at my inattention to her verbal tone. I should have known she wanted to tell me something without forcing her to find another way to capture my non-romantic attention.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout. I was just trying to be a little more assertive and less emotionally engrossed in your touch." She disentangled herself from my arms and got up off the bed. "I meant what I said about changing me, but I want you to make me a promise."

"Bella, you know I can't deny you anything," I smiled and looked deeply into her shining eyes.

"Edward, don't try to dazzle me, I'm trying to be serious."

I hadn't meant to dazzle her. Was it the smile or looking into her eyes that dazzled? Maybe it was both.

"As to denying me nothing, you do deny me the one thing I truly want."

"But you just said . . ." Did I miss something, or was she changing her mind. Bella was the only person who could surprise me by what she said. Total realization of how spoiled I had become from hearing people's thoughts became more evident as I spent more time with Bella. I couldn't prepare myself for what Bella was about to say because I never knew from one moment to the next what she would say.

She cut me off by adding, "Yes, and I meant that, but I still would like you to make me a promise." She sat down again on the bed, but this time kept some distance between us.

Okay, she was agreeing not to talk about being changed, so how bad could the promise be. I already assured her I would stay as long as she wanted me around. My love was steadfast; I wouldn't go back on that. To show her I was sincere, I gave her my best smile and said, "Anything."

"Promise me Edward, that if I'm ever about to die, you'll change me. Don't allow me to lose you. Promise me that Edward."

How could she ask that? "Bella, you know how I feel about stealing your life from you."

"But, Edward, it wouldn't be you stealing it. It would be something or someone else, and you would be giving me an eternity with you. I wouldn't be losing anything."

"No Bella, I can't." I couldn't even look at her, not because of what she asked but because my mind recreated the image of her dying in the dance studio.

She slid closer to me, held my face lovingly between her trembling hands, and looked deep into my eyes. I felt I could lose myself in her eyes; there was such depth in them that they held me spellbound. Her voice was amazingly alluring as she said, "Edward, I'm not asking you not to save me if you can, I'm asking you to save me another way if my life is being stolen in some other manner. I have skirted death four times now. First when I sat down beside you in Biology class, second when Tyler's van nearly crushed me, third in Port Angeles, and finally," I felt her body shudder and I knew she would bring up the near catastrophe with James, "in Phoenix. We've been cheating fate, Edward. What if fate refuses to give up? What if fate wins next time? Will you allow fate to steal me away from you forever?"

She never once broke eye contact as she held me mesmerized, but every word she said pulled at my heart. She was right, her life should've been snatched away each time but I wouldn't allow it to happen. The worst was with James since I felt responsible for that one. If she hadn't been with us, James would never have noticed her. She would have been safe at home and he would never have wondered into town. Phoenix was actually the closest I had come to losing her and if I hadn't been able to suck out the venom, she would definitely have been changed. I was ready to shudder at the thought of losing her in any manner. Didn't she realize how precious she was to me? Had I never told her how much she means to me?

"Please Edward, promise. Either you change me or allow someone else in your family to change me."

Her voice was so beguiling; it touched my cold heart with such warmth and love. I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't envision myself as the one to take her life. Her life was too precious to me, but she counted on me; I was her hope so how could I destroy that hope. Once again, my resolve was reinforced with the belief that I would never allow her to be in a position where her life would be threatened. I would keep her alive, so I made her this promise with the belief that I'd never have to follow through. Still, it was hard to say the words, so I had to force them out. "I promise, but only if it's the only way to save you."

"That's all I'm asking at this time. Thank you Edward." The relief in her voice was so evident, and her swift kiss enthralled me. My heartache at making that promise was worth the loving look on her face.

But a realization quickly came to my mind. Bella had done a number of odd things since I brought her home last night. She openly revealed her feelings about me to her father, she said she was going to email her mother about our relationship, and she asked me to make a promise a about changing her. I needed to know exactly what was going on in Bella's mind. If she wasn't going to keep her thoughts from me, then it was time to ask her to share them.

"Bella?" I rose from the bed, stood in front of her and held her face between my hands. I gazed deep in her eyes seeking answers. "What is going on?"

I wanted her to feel relaxed and comfortable, so I gently picked her up and carried her to the old rocking chair. I sat down and placed her on my lap. The whole time I looked deeply into her dark brown eyes. I thought if I looked deep enough, I would see into her mind, but an impenetrable wall surrounded her mind. An extended hush fell over the room, and I fell into her trusting eyes and I lost myself to her open and honest soul. I could spend eternity gazing into her soul and never want to return. Was this what she meant by being dazzled? Was she dazzling me? At that moment, I felt I would have done anything she asked, anything.

I finally broke the silence. "Why these changes? Like telling your dad about your feelings for me, telling me everything your thinking, and asking for this promise. This doesn't seem like the Bella I have grown to love and cherish. Why the change?"

She took a deep breath. "Am I not me any more? Do you suddenly love me less?"

"No." How could she think that, to me she was always a surprise waiting to jump out and excite my emotions? "In fact, you are becoming even more desirable because of this new mystery. Your mind doesn't follow a track I can predict. It functions in some alien manner that I can't completely comprehend, and just when I think I've figured out where your thoughts are going, they completely change. I find you totally mystifying and surprisingly more loveable because of your uniqueness."

She took another deep breath before saying, "Your eyes are such deep pools, I could lose myself in them, but I haven't really changed . . . I have . . . what is the word I'm looking for. Evolved? Expanded? Matured? No, those aren't right. You know the mind spends a vast amount of time once in awhile seeking the right word to say what it means. Edward, I haven't changed, I'm . . . I've got it . . . I'm opening up, blossoming, sharing the inner most part of myself with you. I want our relationship to be truthful, honest, and open. I don't want to edit my thoughts for you because I watch you sometimes trying so hard to see what is behind my words. I know it's sometimes a struggle for you when I talk, I can see it in your eyes, because you are so use to hearing what's behind everyone else's words. So, I decided if I tell you everything I'm thinking, then you'll stop frowning when I say something that puzzles or bothers you, but I must warn you, you may not like everything I'm thinking so there you'll have to run the risk of getting angry with me. Just remember, I only want to be open and up front with you."

I cradled her closer to my body. I reveled in the fact that she was sharing these feelings with me.

"And about Charlie, you said he was going to talk to me anyway, and as I said before, I just thought I would jump in on my own terms and time and tell him how things stood between us. But, you'll notice I didn't tell him everything. I don't know if he'd be thrilled, like I am, if I told him you stay with me every night and hold me while I sleep."

Because of how close I held her, I could not see the blush rushing into her checks, but I could feel the warmth of that blush as it crept through her body.

"I was just thinking how boring it would be to sleep alone, and how depressing it is when you're hunting and there's no one to hold me securely while I'm sleeping. You know Edward, loving you is the best thing that's ever happened in my life. I don't think I can ever go back to being the solitary person I was when I first came here. That Bella was incomplete, and now she has bloomed into a full person because of finding the only person she can ever love."

She was sharing my feelings of completeness; that thought thrilled me more than I imaged possible, but what she did next sent amazing sensations throughout my body. She laid her head on my shoulder and began to kiss my neck.

Then she whispered in my ear, "What are you thinking?"

How much more of this could I take and still keep control of my soaring emotions. I wanted to find out, so I said, "You talk too much," and wrapped my arms lovingly around her supple body and kissed her soundly on the lips. Then I moved on to her eyes, nose, cheeks, and neck.

I wondered which of us would pull away first. I could hear the rapidity of Bella's heart; could it continue to beat that rapidly without damage. Could I actually shorten her life by over taxing her heart? I tried to remember if I had garnered any knowledge from medical school that would help answer that question. Before I could stop myself, however, Bella pulled away a little, rested her cheek on my shoulder, and whispered softly, "I'm going to get carried away in half a second if you aren't careful. Do you have any idea of the things I'm feeling when you kiss me like that, or how your touch affects me? I think about this a lot and wonder how long can I hold back, and what would happen if I just let go."

I chuckled very quietly because it thrilled me to know I had this affect on her. If my heart hadn't been a cold stone, it would have quickened its beating at the feelings swelling up in me that I could stimulate someone to such passion.

"I long for that more than you might imagine, but then I remind myself that I can't do anything that might drive you away. Maybe that's why I'm so afraid you'll leave me because I'll have pushed you too far, and you'll decide you can't be anywhere near me. Then I start thinking about the time when you'll grow tired of me and not be interested in me anymore. You'll stop loving me, and then I'll be alone. My life will be void of all meaning."

While she spoke, I caressed her neck with my lips and then moved on to her ears and her eyelids. I found it hard to stop even though I knew I should. My passion for Bella seemed to be the driving motivations behind my actions and every word she said tugged on my heart.

"And your lips are sending tingling sensations throughout my body; and I want it to continue and never stop or end, but a voice in the back of my mind keeps whispering 'this is only temporary. You'll grow old and he'll leave you. You'll be alone until you die. Death will be even more of a friend because then you're aching will end.' Then my hearts begin to ache and . . ."

I couldn't believe Bell was saying that. These same fears plagued me; the fear that our time together was only temporary because I felt Bella would regain her common sense and walk away from me forever. I hadn't realized she might be thinking along these same lines. How could she think I would break my promise? But, then again, what would happen as she aged and how could she accept death as a friend when it took her beautiful life. Her death to me was an enemy because it would do just that to her, steal her life, which I found overwhelmingly precious. I could tell Bella was crying. I hated myself every time I caused her to cry. She deserved better. I was a monster for causing her pain. She should never cry because of me. I became angry with myself and pulled away from her.

"Please don't be angry Edward."

"Bella, I'm not angry at you. I'm angry with myself because I'm the one who ends up causing you all this pain. I find myself, at times, wishing I had stayed away from you. If I had stayed in Alaska, you wouldn't be going through these feelings. You'd be happier and leading a normal life." I truly believed her life would be richer and fuller if I had never entered it. What she said next would have stopped my heart if it had been beating.

"No Edward. I would be dead. Had you stayed away, Tyler's van would've crushed me and no one would have been there to save my life. I'm only alive now because of you."

"But Bella . . ." I couldn't fathom were she was going with this thought; besides, I believed she would've survived the crash even if I hadn't been present. In my mind, I didn't believe I couldn't have made that much difference in her survival.

"Don't Edward. You know this is true; you know it as well as I do. You stopped fate; you changed my destiny. You're responsible for me being here now. I owe you my life, but it doesn't change how I feel toward you. Nothing will ever change how I feel toward you. I believe it's also part of my destiny to love you forever. Nobody can ever replace you in my heart or desires. Edward, don't leave me."

Was that what she really believed, that I made the difference between her living or dying. What was it that Alice had said? That I could return home because she saw Bella's death. I had promised to do everything possible to keep Bella safe, maybe I made a difference and played an important role in her life, but would she always feel that way.

One thing I did know for certain, I would not leave Bella and I would tell her that as often as she needed to hear it. "Don't cry Bella. I promised I would never leave you. Can't you believe that?" I kissed her precious tears as they ran down her lovely pale cheek.

"Yes and no."

"Why?" Why did she find it hard to believe me? What thoughts raced through that complex mind of hers?

"As long as I'm human, I'll age. The time will come when you will not want me around because I'll be too old. Even if you stayed, it wouldn't be enough. Just having you kiss me or hold me like now or as I sleep will one day not be enough. My feelings and needs will become stronger and harder to resist. One day I may force you to act in a way that will hurt both of us, and it might not be correctable."

Her tears continued, but I could also sense anger in her tone. What was making her mad, me or something else?

"Bella, my little Bella. What am I going to do with you?" I felt apprehensive. I was confused at her reactions, tones, and thoughts. They seemed to be in a continual flex. Why couldn't I just hear what was going on in her mind. Even though she said she would tell me everything she was thinking, I felt she still edited or held back something, but I couldn't grasp what it could be.

"I thought it would be a good idea to tell you everything I was thinking, but this is becoming harder and I am becoming angry at myself for telling you all this. I hadn't meant to say things that would hurt either of us, but the more of my thoughts I tell you, the more I think and now I feel like I'm just rambling and if you don't shut me up, I'm going to end up . . ."

Her mouth was saying one thing but I notice her eyes and lips were pleading to be kissed; I couldn't resist their pull so I gave in and kissed her. As I allowed their warmth to soak in, I began to wonder if her mind was so complex that maybe even she didn't know how to tell me everything that was racing around inside of it. I began to wonder what I would say to her if I tried to tell her all of my thoughts and realized how truly difficult that would be because some of it was just random feelings rather than rational thought. It finally dawned on me how hard this must be for her, and I decided I couldn't make it harder by expecting her to tell me everything. It would be humanly impossible.

I had kept my lips locked on hers while I pondered on this issue, and realized she needed to breathe. So I momentarily relinquished her lips and said, "Bella, you don't have to tell me everything you're thinking. Maybe it's better if I don't know everything you think. In fact, the more you talk the less time we have for this," and to demonstrate I quickly kissed her again. "You've already said you don't want me to change you. Does that mean you'll stop asking?" She tipped her head slightly back revealing her neck and I couldn't resists it magnetic pull, so I gently began kissing it and enjoying her aromatic scent and the feel of her blood pulsing through her veins.

She gave an almost inaudible moan before replying, "I said now isn't the right time, but there's nothing better than having you with me. Life has no meaning without you. You're my angel. My world now revolves around you. I have no life and I want no life without you, and I definitely don't want any other man in my life, I just want you forever throughout all eternity."

How could she possibly see me as an angel, and what pubescent male was chasing after her? "What other man? Is someone else seeking your attention?" I didn't have any desire to stop kissing her neck and all her exposed skin in that vicinity, but I also felt jealousy building up at the thought that any other man would be allowed to put his filthy lips on my precious angel.

"No," she softly whispered, "but you said if you hadn't been around, I'd be living a normal life, which means, eventually, some man would try to attract my attention. Like Mike, Eric, and Tyler did . . ."

I abruptly stopped kissing her. The thought of any other man touching or kissing Bella was revolting to my senses. How could I ever imagine anyone else being this close to her, or touching her and creating these sensations in her? I may have said that to her at one time, but I didn't really wish it to happen. I didn't want her ever to leave me for someone else, especially any of the males wondering the school halls with lustful thoughts about Bella and themselves.

". . . but look what happened to them."

Inwardly, that comment made me laugh.

"I turned them all down, partly because of you, but also because they didn't interest me in any way. Friends yes, anything else no. I don't want to talk about this anymore. My emotions are taking over. Could you just kiss me?"

It sounded so much like a plea that I couldn't resist, so I happily acquiesced. After a time, I realized her leg might be uncomfortable, so I carried her over to the bed, gently laid down with her, and continued kissing her. It felt so right to have her in my arms, but I kept wondering if I really deserved her or the happiness I was experiencing with her. I felt so complete that it scared me because I knew I could lose it as quickly as I had gained it. Could I endure an existence that did not include Bella? I would seriously seek an answer for that question.

Time wasn't a master of my days, but upon hearing Bella's stomach growl, I remembered it did have an effect on her. "I think it's time to feed the human," I said as I carefully lifted her from the bed and carried me downstairs. Forays in the kitchen were still new to me, so I poured Bella a glass of milk while she fixed herself a sandwich.

As Bella sat down and commenced to eat her lunch, I reached around, hugged her and whispered, "So, besides sharing your inner most thoughts with me, what else would you like to do today?"

"Hmm. You know, I did give that some thought this morning."

"And here I thought you were going to tell me everything." So, she was holding back, I thought as I caressed her supple neck with my lips.

"You're right, but I got side tracked from this thought because of others you created, and I'll never finish my lunch if you keep side tracking me."

I moved her hair off the back of her neck and worked around her neck with my lips. "Do you mean this?" Her neck was so fragrant and kissable that I couldn't help but caress it with my lips.

"Um, that does distract. Who would want to eat when activities like this are taking place?" She put down her sandwich. I wanted her to eat, but I also wanted her time.

"Well, then maybe I should stop," but I didn't. Instead, I worked my way around to the other side of her neck.

"Yah, maybe you should." Her tone didn't match her words. Her actions, however, encouraged me to continue.

"So, what do you want to do this afternoon?"

"Well, I'd like to go to the meadow today."

That meant I would travel my way with Bella cradled in my arms. I liked that idea and chuckled at the thought. "You know what that means."

She gave a little moan as she spoke, "Yes, but I've already resolved myself to that fact. You go home and get transportation, and don't hurry on my account because while you're gone, I'm going to email my mother." Because of the groan that escaped her lips, I didn't imagine she looked forward to that venture.

"Are you sure Bella? Telling Charlie was one thing, but telling your mother?" I tried to imagine her mother's response, but even after meeting her mother, I wasn't sure how she'd feel about Bella being in love. Considering how Bella accepted her mother's choice of a younger man, I would hope Renee would be as open-minded about her daughter's choice. Of course, Renee had no way of knowing my real age or what kind of a monster I truly was, and I didn't think Bella was going to supply her with that information. If she hadn't told her father, why would she tell her mother? This would be an interesting email to read; I wondered if she would allow me to see it before she sent it.

"No, I need to do this now while my resolve is set."

"You do have the courage of a lion, no matter what you say about yourself. I will give you ten minutes, and then I'll be back." I stopped kissing her neck and chuckled. Her determination was evident in her voice.

As I got up to leave she countered, "No, Edward, give me at least fifteen. Better make that twenty; it'll take me five just to get up the stairs."

I didn't plan on waiting any longer than fifteen minutes, so I swiftly yet carefully scoped her up and carried her upstairs. "Now you only need fifteen," I laughed as I put her down. I loved how expressive her face was, and I could tell my action was unexpected.

I raced home as quickly as possible. I had every intention of seeing what Bella wrote to her mom; for some reason I felt the need to know what she would say and what words she would use to express her feelings. My intent had been to change, jump in my Volvo and rush directly back to Bella's, but I found Alice waiting in my room when I returned home. She had a mischievous smile on her face, but I knew she had something important to tell me or she wouldn't have intentionally waited.

"What is it Alice, I'm in a hurry." I didn't mean to be short with her; it just came out that way.

"I told Bella the sun would come out this afternoon," she replied.

"And?" I focused on her mind to see what was hidden there, but didn't find any fear for Bella.

"Be truthful while talking with Bella today."

"We've already talked, and I was truthful."

"Completely? I mean, did you tell her what you were feeling."

"How do you know what I was feeling?" How dare she tap into my emotions.

"It wasn't hard. They must have been strong because they radiated into my visions. I honestly can't stop that Edward, so don't growl at me."

I hadn't realized I growled, but I felt she had invaded my privacy.

"Look Edward, all I'm saying is be open and honest with Bella even if she asks about some things that might upset you. And, please, don't lose your temper."

"I wouldn't lose my temper with Bella. I have better control than that."

Alice laughed. "Oh, come on. You and I both know your temper sometimes gets the better of you. Maybe it would be better if you got mad in front of her, then she'll know what to expect next time."

"What do you mean?" I wondered just where Alice was headed with this conversation.

"Bella want some questions answered. She wants to understand you, but unless you're open and honest, she'll think you're shutting her out. Edward, I like Bella, so do Jazz and Emmett. We like having her around, don't drive her away."

"Alice, I'm not changing her." This time I did growl. "What have you been telling her?"

"Nothing much," she let her gaze wonder around my room.

I growled slightly, Alice's vagueness became irritating. "Alice?"

"See, there's that temper. Look Edward, Bella is curious. She asks me questions you won't answer. Sometimes I answer and sometimes I tell her to ask you, but she's afraid you'll get angry with her and leave her. She doesn't want that Edward. She wants to be with you forever. She loves you deeply; she told me so, but she is afraid you don't believe her because you refuse to give her the one thing she really wants."

"I won't change her, Alice."

"But she wants you Edward; she doesn't care about anything else. The question really comes down to how much you love her." She fixed her eyes on mine challenging me to answer that question. "That is the question she asks me the most."

"And what did you tell her?" I searched Alice's mind for any vision she might be hiding, but found nothing new, just the same one about Bella being changed.

"I told her your snarl is worse than your bite," she laughed.

"Alice!" I was at loss for words.

"Just be honest Edward that's what she wants."

"I'll try," what else could I say.

"That's all I'm asking." She smiled and dashed out of the room.

I realized I had two concerns. First, would I arrive at Bella's in time to see what she had written to her mother, and second, what questions did Bella want answered. And, would I be able to answer them. Because of the first, I quickly changed, dashed to the car, and set a new record to Bella's house. My ascent into her room was so noiseless that she didn't even notice I was there. Her hand was posed over the mouse getting ready to send her message. I had just enough time to speed through the message catching two key phrases. The first was _I'm going to marry him as soon as I can convince him to propose_ and the second, which I found the hardest to believe, was _I loved him the first time I saw him_. I wondered if that was before or after I first lusted after her blood in Biology class.

Just before she clicked mouse, I interposed, "Are you really going to send that to your mother?"

With a smug look on her face, she clicked the mouse. "Does that answer your question?" There was a touch of irritation in her voice. "How long have you been standing there?" The last question revealed her irritation.

Oops, I guess she really didn't want me to see that, but it was so Bella and I loved her for that. So, I just smiled and said, "Long enough. So, how are you going to convince me?" I wanted the answer to that one as quickly as possible. I knew she had something on her mind and I wanted to be the first one to whom she revealed her plans. I wanted her to trust me, and I wanted her to share all of these feelings with me. Did she really want to marry me even knowing what I was and how I lived? Did she really know what she was saying? I had so many misgivings about whether or not she really understood. Once she came to a fuller understanding of my life, I knew it would be the end and she would back out of this relationship as quickly as possible. I wanted her to understand fully, but even more, I wanted her to stay.

Then Bella did what she did best, she blushed so deeply that her face turned a deep shade of pink. I could smell the blood rushing through her body and rising to the surface of her face, but I could also sense the irritation that I saw as she sent her message to her mom.

"People who invade the privacy of others may learn unsettling information, but that's the risk of being overly inquisitive."

I couldn't help but reply with a smile, "And others turn a lovely shade of red when caught." Many times, I wondered if she knew how much I enjoyed watching her blush. Did she do it intentionally to please me, or was it really an involuntary reaction?

Bella looked away from me and with concern in her voiced asked, "Do you think it'll overwhelm her? I wanted her to know how serious I am; not like in the hospital when I was trying to soothe her fears. Are you upset about that comment?" Did she really think I was mad at her?

I had one fervent question that I couldn't refrain from asking, but I needed to see her eyes when she answered, so I took her chin in my hand and tilted her face up so our eyes met. "Did you really fall in love with me the first time you saw me?"

"Indubitably." And she turned off the computer. She then hobbled toward her bedroom door and said, "Can we go now?"

Was that all the answer I was going to get? No, she had to explain that answer even if I had to dazzle it out of her. As swiftly as possible, I put myself in front of her, looked deeply in her eyes and asked, "Are you going to explain that?"

I couldn't believe it; the dazzle didn't work. Instead, she leaned towards me and whispered, "I'll tell you later," then planted a swift kiss on my cold lips.

My Bella was getting better at resisting a dazzle, or maybe getting better at resisting intentional dazzles, but I still found I was hopelessly drawn to her and loved her more than I ever imaged I would love anyone. The question kept stealing into my mind 'how could I go on without her.'

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The next chapter may take long because it already seems longer. It will conclude this day, Sunday after the prom. I know this has been along day, but I felt I had Bella and Edward needed to discuss some things before going back to school, and then the start of summer vacation. For any one who is interested, the basic scenario is what happens when fate plays a major role in Bella's everyday life.

Reviews are extremely nice even if you only say "good job" or "boring, waste of time".


	5. The Meadow Bella

_AN: Sorry this took so long, but the chapter ended up being longer than I thought it would be. I hope everyone enjoys it. As always, all characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer._

_Update 5-11 for grammatical errors._

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The Meadow – Bella

Before we left the house, I stopped to pick up an old quilt from the closet. Alice told me the sun would shine this afternoon, but I doubted that the ground would be dry. I figured the quilt would protect me from the damp. The drive to the meadow was quiet; neither of us said anything, and besides asking me if I was ready, even the trip to the meadow was accomplished in silence. That silence gave me time to arrange my thoughts and put my questions in a tidy row. I wondered how many of them Edward would be willing to answer and answer truthfully. He claimed I edited my answers, but I knew he edited his also.

From his demeanor, I guessed that Edward knew I had an ulterior motive for going to the meadow. He knew how I felt about his mode of transportation, and the fact that I was willingly allowing him to carry me there was what must have tipped him off. Any other time, I'd have found someplace else for us to spend the afternoon, but I did have an underhanded purpose. I knew once we were in the meadow I could freely ask about issues that might upset Edward, but he wouldn't be able to flee from me because he'd never leave me alone and unprotected in an area surrounded by woods. He once told me there were things far more dangerous than him in the woods, and I always wondered about that. Did he mean other vampires or something I hadn't encountered yet? Whatever it was, I knew he wouldn't forsake me especially with my leg in a cast.

Upon reaching the meadow, Edward spread the quilt out and helped me find a comfortable way to sit; I'd be so glad when the cast finally came off. After I was settled, he sat down beside me.

"Now are you going to answer my question?" Edward reached over and took my hand gently in his.

"Which one?" I smiled into his eyes.

"The one that read, and I quote, 'I loved him the first time I saw him,' end quote." He searched my face for a reaction. I just smiled.

"There's really nothing to answer. The first time I saw you sitting across the lunchroom, you captured my heart. I hadn't been aware of it at the time, but looking back, that's when I fell in love with you. That angelic face," I ran my finger gently down his check and traced his lips, "those piercing dark eyes, and that crooked smile that makes my heart skip a beat. I was lost without even realizing it."

"Bella, people don't fall in love that quickly. And how about that first day in Biology class. You must've hated me for the way I treated you." He examined my face searching for the truth.

"Not really. I thought you were revolted by me. I thought," and I couldn't help but laugh, "Maybe I smelled bad to you. Funny, I connected even our first encounter to scent." I smiled realizing his scent first drew me to him but only partially.

"But not a bad scent. Instead, an overwhelmingly delicious aroma, but my thoughts were only about feasting on your blood, not falling in love with you."

"Then it's a good thing you were able to resist me because I'd never have resisted you. I still can't resist you or your scent." I ran my finger around his sensuous lips again.

"You mean when I breathe on you, like this," and he leaned over and breathed into my face.

I had to remind myself to stay calm and breathe, but I couldn't stop my pulse from quickening.

"Yes and when you walk near me or sit or stand in the same room with me, your heady scent fills my senses; even my bed is filled with it." At which I blushed, just knowing he shared my bed even in an innocent way made me blush when I talked about it.

"Even with my attitude that day, you wouldn't have resisted me if I'd have asked you to walk into the woods with me?" He nuzzled my neck playfully.

"No, I wouldn't have resisted," I replied as I enjoyed his cool lips on my skin.

"Because of my fragrance." It was a statement not a question. He was so close that every word released more of his delicious fragrance.

"No more than that. As I said, I was already in love with you without realizing it. I'd have gone anywhere with you." I sighed knowing I was physically and emotionally his.

"What if I'd been a mass murderer? Let's correct that. How could you fall in love with a monster, a murderer?"

"I'd still have followed, besides that's a subjective opinion. I don't see you that way." I looked up at his heavenly face and watched it sparkle in the sunlight. "I see you as an angel, and the only person I ever want to be with. As far as I'm concerned, the world can just pass me by because you're the only world I want. Nothing else matters."

"Bella, I don't want you giving up on life. You've so much life yet to experience. It's not right to steal that away from you." He pushed away from me a little and gazed directly into my eyes.

"Do you really believe that I'd miss any of that?" I stared back at him just as intently wanting him to know I meant every word I said. "Edward, the only thing I'd ever miss is being with you." I broke eye contact with him, leaned against his chest, and ran my hand up and down his arm. I needed contact with him; I needed to know he was beside me and that I could lean on him for strength and support. "Edward, tell me why you won't change me?"

"I thought you understood." He kissed the top of my head and played with a strand of my hair.

"No, not really. All you've said is you don't want me to miss anything, but what would I really miss. I haven't had much of a life, but what I've had would change very little if I were like you."

"No, Bella, you don't understand. You'd never sleep, you'd never have human friends, you'd never have children, and you'd constantly have to watch that you didn't give away what you were." He let out a deep breath. "You spend your life on the move. You're never able to set down roots anywhere. You can't settle down because you don't age, and people get suspicious and ask questions. You endure a thirst for human blood but learn to overcome that thirst and be satisfied with the substitute." He paused, "You'd have to give up the sunlight and your parents."

"Would I have to give up you?" I stroked his perfect cheek with my hand.

"No, but that's a poor substitute for life."

"No it isn't. Edward, you're my life, and I'm in the sunlight with you now. How would that change if I were like you? I've never had friends only acquaintances. Alice is the first person, besides you, I ever felt I could call a friend. As for children, I don't want any. The thought of being a parent terrifies me. Being as accident prone as I am, imagine what any child's life would be like with me as their mother." I couldn't help but laugh at that because I remembered the one and only time I babysat for my mom's friend. No, being a parent was totally out.

"What's so funny?"

"I made up my mind about children when I was fifteen. Mom secured a babysitting job for me, my first and last. It was a disaster. It's lucky either of us survived. That poor child must've been traumatized for weeks. Afterwards, she started crying every time she saw me, and it took me a month to recover from my own injuries."

"What did you do?" Concern entered his voice.

"Let's just say, that I endured almost every household injury, and Mandy, poor thing, sustained a few minor injuries I wasn't able to deflect from her to me." I continued to run my fingers lightly across his face outlining his eyes, nose, and tempting lips.

"Like what?" He took hold of me and set me gently on his lap.

"Oh, a scrapped knee when we tripped over each other in the backyard, a bump on the head when she fell off the swing set, and . . ."

He chuckled and his lovely crooked smile spread across his face. "Stop, I get the idea. Didn't they suspect you of child abuse?"

"No, I had more visible injuries then she did." I couldn't help but trace his crooked smile and he lightly brushed a strand of loose hair behind my ear and caressed my face with his hand.

"Really? Please enlighten me."

"Well, I skinned both my knees and hands when we fell. I had a deep cut above my eye where the swing hit me when Mandy fell off, I cut my finger while making her lunch, and I sprained my ankle walking upstairs to put her to bed. Plus, there were numerous other bruises and scrapes. I looked a mess. I think they felt more sympathy for me than they did for their daughter." Edward laughed outright about that. I loved his musical laugh.

"Okay, so you think it would be safer if you didn't have children, but what if you change your mind as you grow older?" His voice became more serious.

"Once I've made a decision about something, I very seldom change my mind. Other than the reasons you've given, which won't dissuade me from my choice, what other rationale do you have for not changing me."

"An eternity of being on the run from discovery. Bella, after the first seventy-five years, days blur into each other. It's as if you're offered nothing new just the same thing day after day. You get to a point where there are no thrills left, no surprises, no originality. You're constantly looking for something new and different, but it's all the same. Bella, it gets boring and you thirst for something more, but there isn't anything." A serious look settled on his divine face.

"So basically you're saying you'll get bored with me and go looking for someone more exciting. So, all I am to you is a diversion, intrinsically temporary entertainment." I wanted to cry, but I wouldn't let myself. I was deeply hurt. Was that really all I meant to him or had I misunderstood.

He cupped my chin and turned my face toward him, and my eyes fell into his. "No, but I may become that to you in time. In fact, I may be that already because I'm different than anyone else you've ever met."

He released my chin and ran his finger down my cheek but I kept my eyes locked on his and felt an ache in my heart. How could I ever be bored with him? "Edward, you're difference isn't all in your looks or what you are, it's in your demeanor. You're intelligent, witty, overbearing, and extremely lovable. Most importantly, you're not shallow like most of the guys I've met. You're real difference is who you are, not what you are."

"We still come back to the problem of regret. You feel this way now, but what if those feelings change. Don't you see, once you're changed you can't change back; there are no other options. We don't get to select whether we want to remain what we are; this is permanent, forever. There's no going back for any of us." His eyes filled with profound sorrow.

"What makes you think I'd want to 'go back,' as you put it?"

He closed his eyes, but I continued to watch his face. "Because we all experience regrets and wonder what if. What if I hadn't been changed? What if I'd been allowed to live a normal life? What if I'd been asked first, what would I have decided? I don't want you hating me for changing you, or looking at me with regret wishing I hadn't changed you."

I realized I needed to share my next thought with him, so I replied, "Don't you realize I'd never want anything accept you that my one desire and longing is for us to remain together forever." He opened his eyes, and I wanted the truth of that statement to be reflected in my eyes so he'd see how my whole heart longed for him.

Then another thought occurred to me. "Edward, I thought you didn't have a choice that Carlisle saved you from dying that every one of you that he changed was on the verge of death anyway."

"We were."

I leaned closer to him and asked, "So, if he would've asked you whether you wanted to die or become what he was, would you have chosen death?"

"No."

"Then what's the difference? I'm making a choice with a clear idea of what I'm getting into." I inhaled deeply of his fragrance and rested my cheek against his chest.

"Bella, it is different for you." He emphasized each word but didn't pull away from me. "You've your whole life in front of you. You're not at death's door. There's so much more waiting for you and I can't be the one who takes that away. One day I'd see the regret in your eyes and know you hated me for taking those things away and not being able to give them back."

"You see, that's what I mean. You keep saying I have a choice because I'm not at death's door, but I've been there numerous times, and each time you pulled me back. And as for taking everything away from me, Edward, you're the only thing I want nothing else matters. How could I ever hate you if you're the one who chose to keep me forever because that's what I wanted? My question basically remains unanswered."

"Which one?"

"Are you keeping me around for temporary entertainment because you know you'll become bored with me?"

At that, he did pull away and looked straight into my eyes. His hurt look tugged harder at my heart. "Bella, how can you even think that? You'll never bore me; in fact, you'll always surprise me. I want nothing more that to spend every minute of my time with you."

"But forever?"

"Yes forever. Never doubt that I love you, and I will always love you."

"But not enough to keep me forever." I couldn't keep the doubt out of my voice and shifted my face down and away from his gaze. I did have my doubts and I felt he should know about them.

Once again, he cupped my chin tenderly in his hands and tilted my head up so he could gaze deeply in my eyes. He spoke passionately. "That's not true. I want to keep you forever, but it wouldn't be right. I can't kill you just because I want you. I love you too much to make you suffer, and suffer you would. You don't know; you can't fully understand what it's like to live this way."

"But I'd be sharing it with you. Don't you realize that I'd endure any suffering if it meant we'd never be separated? No, I can see this is something we don't agree on, but maybe future circumstance will enlighten you to what I really desire. Until then, I'll just keep hoping, and I'll continue making myself ready for what will eventually come."

Edwards stared deeply into my eyes. "Bella, what have you done?" He paused momentarily, perhaps in reflection. "You wouldn't . . . you couldn't . . . you didn't." I saw shock in his eyes as the truth dawned on him. Then knowingly he added, "You did! Bella, how could you?"

Since he knew, I felt no obligation to answer. Instead, I replied, "Edward, one of the hardest things for me to do is make a decision. I can spend hours brooding over it. I can get frustrated, angry, and even irritated at myself, but when I finally make a decision, I'm resolved to carry that decision through, just as I did that day after La Push beach. I spent the better part of the morning deciding what I'd do about the information Jacob imparted to me. And like I once told you, my decision was that it didn't matter. It still doesn't matter. I don't care what you think you are, and I don't care what the Quileute say you and your family are. All that matters to me, as it did then, is that I love you."

"You should care. All these things should matter to you; it's all a part of your future."

"You've given me a lot to think about Edward, and I promise I'll think about them, but don't count on me changing my mind. Little of what you've said will alter how I feel, and I doubt I'll change the course I'm on right now. You see, for me you're my future, and more than anything, I believe fate's determined my outcome one way or another. The choice will ultimately fall to you because I know which choice I want. The question is which choice do you want?"

"Bella, you know what my choice is." I saw apprehension in his face.

I knew this was hard for him and I had no desire to cause him pain. He wanted it both ways but in the end, we both knew one outcome would dominate the other. "And what if that choice is no longer an option?" Before he could reply, I put my fingers on his lips. I didn't want an answer then; I wanted him seriously to ponder the question before answering me.

To give him time to think, I slid off his lap, laid my head on his lap, and pretended to sleep. I tried regulating my breathing, and then I listened to the quiet. I had no idea I was tired, but the next thing I knew I felt chilled. That's when I discovered I had fallen asleep.

"She awakes. Did you have a nice nap?"

"How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour or so."

"Why didn't you wake me?" I sat up and stretched.

"I love to watch you sleep. An inner beauty radiates from your face as you sleep. You're so at peace and few worries mar your angelic face, and I can stare at you all I want without interruption and enjoy your beauty." He took my face in his hands, leaned toward me and gently kissed my lips.

"You say the loveliest things, and . . . no, let's not go there. I think it's time we put aside changes for the moment and focus on other controversial issues." I exclaimed playfully.

"Okay, how about your comment that I was overbearing." He willing allowed the conversation to follow a lighter note.

"Well, you are. You want everything your way, despite what others want," I pouted.

"Well, I disagree. I think about what's best for you first. I call that being considerate." He laughed at me.

"But what if what you think is best for me isn't viewed by me in the same way." I got a little more serious.

"I thought we weren't broaching that topic again." He kept the laughter in his voice.

"You started it." I went back to pouting.

"No I didn't. You said I was overbearing."

"And you are. Right now for instance. Okay, truce. Let's pick another topic," and this time I laughed.

"Like what?"

A thought had been playing around my mind since we left my house, so I decided now would be a good time to ask about it. "How long were you in my room while I was writing my mom?"

"Not long, only about two or three seconds."

"Then you didn't see everything I wrote." I felt a sense of relief.

"Yes I did."

"How?" As quickly as I felt it the sense of relief left. I was thunderstruck, he'd read all of it.

"I read fast."

"How fast?" I inquired.

"Extremely. It's like running."

"So, you read everything I wrote, but do you remember what was in it?" I'd hoped he'd forgotten most of it.

"Hum. Well, it began, 'I won't tell you to sit down because I know you already are. So here is my news. Edward took me to prom last night, despite my overwhelming protests, and I surprisingly enjoyed the experience. It was not the prom I enjoyed, however, as much as the company.' But I especially liked, 'I have given this much thought, and I know what I feel for Edward. This feeling comes from deep within my heart, and if I admit the truth to myself, I loved him the first time I saw him.'"

He hadn't forgotten on single word. "You have a photographic memory." That wasn't a question but a statement of fact. I thought 'That could be helpful; in fact, it could be helpful to me.' "You're helping me study for finals."

"I won't give you the answers."

"I hadn't thought about that. You'll know all the answers for the tests. In fact you probably already know what'll be on the tests." Edward did have a definite advantage over us normal humans, I thought.

"I still won't give you the answers. I go through this every year with Emmett. He thinks I should help him, but that would be cheating." 

"Does everyone in your family have a photographic memory?" This was a fact I didn't know before.

"Yes."

"I wonder if Emmett had the same teachers last year as I have now." That was a thought; I could ask Emmett what the trig test was like, if he had trig.

"Why?"

"Maybe I'll ask him to help me study." I usually did well on finals, but I always felt slightly nauseous while I was studying for fear that I'd fail.

"That's still cheating Bella."

"Not if he just quizzes me about information." I didn't really mean to cheat; I just wanted reassurance that I could pass.

"No he can study by himself or with Rose. I'll be your study partner."

He always wanted to know what I thought, so I told him. "Are you going to suck the fun out of everything I want to do? You see, there's that trait of being overbearing again."

"You call cheating fun?"

"No, but a little help wouldn't hurt." He was being particularly obstinate about this. I didn't want to cheat; I just wanted help.

"Emmett never took trig."

"Oh." How did he know trig was the subject I was most concerned about?

"And as to having fun, how about this?" And he pulled me closer and began kissing my shoulders, my neck, and then slowly moved up my face until he reached my lips.

As he worked his way up and before he reached my lips, I sighed, "Yes."

I was wrong; Edward didn't suck the fun out of everything because this would always qualify as more pleasurable than studying for final exams. Besides, we had almost a month before school was out, and I could always ask Emmett about his classes last year when Edward was busy doing other things. That could come later, for the time being I was enjoying the sensation of swapping kisses and caresses in the meadow with Edward. His touch always excited me, and the electrical charges always sent sensual vibrations throughout my entire body. I was learning to respond to him in acceptable ways because I didn't want him to draw away from me, and he was learning that sometimes I still slipped when he caused me to become too romantically elated.

Sooner than I expected, Edward mentioned that the sun was low enough in the sky to indicate it was time to go home. Charlie wouldn't be home for a few hours yet, and I was reluctant to release Edward. Of course, I didn't really want him to release me either; I felt safe and comfortable in his arms. Edward must have sensed my reluctance because instead of releasing me, he just scooped me up in his arms, retrieved the blanket and set off for the car. While he was running, I wrapped my arms more tightly around him, closed my eyes, and laid my head on his shoulder. I felt it had been a beautiful day even though we hadn't agreed on whether or not it was right for Edward to change me. At least we talked openly about it, and that made me happy.

The drive home was as silent as the drive to the meadow, but this time I laid my head against Edward's shoulder and just enjoyed inhaling his scent and touching him. Unfortunately, Edward arrived at my house sooner than I liked. If he drove slower, we could enjoy each others company longer, but he liked his speed and I decided not to say anything about it. In fact, I enjoyed his touch so much, I allowed him to carry me into the house. He took me straight to the living room and set me down on the couch, and then returned the old quilt to the hall closet.

"You're so quiet. What are you thinking?" he asked as he sat down beside me.

I reached over, took his hand, and kissed his fingertips. "How lucky I am, how much I love being with you, and how beautiful today has been."

"I love you too, but you seemed so deep in thought on the way home, I wondered if something else was on your mind." He caressed my face with his free hand.

"No, not deep in thought, I was just enjoying the feel of you as I laid my head against you and feeling that this is how I want to spend the rest of my life." I sighed deeply realizing I needed to call mom before Charlie came home.

Edward tensed at my sigh, possibly out of concern. I hoped he didn't think it was anything he had done.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing really. I just remembered I need to call mom and, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to talk to her alone."

"In other words, you want me to leave."

"Yes and no. Yes, because I need to speak to her alone, and no because I feel more comfortable and at ease when you're around, but I can't have both."

"I could hang around outside," he chuckled.

"Oh sure, and how would that look to the neighbors. I can hear it now, 'There's that Cullen boy hanging around again. Doesn't he ever go home?' No, there's no need for inquisitive neighbors to start gossiping, and I definitely don't want someone to suggest to Charlie that you look like a stalker hanging around outside." I laughed at that thought because in a sense Edward had been stalking me at first because of my blood's tantalizing scent.

"What's so funny?" He looked down lovingly at me.

"I just thought about when all of this started. Maybe you were a stalker at first, but I'm glad you fell in love with me. Unrequited love can be so depressing."

Edward kissed my forehead and slowly worked down to my lips. Upon releasing them, he said. "How long do you want me to stay away?"

"If I could plug up your ears so you couldn't hear, not at all, but since that's impossible, how about two hours."

He groaned. "What am I going to do for two hours without my Bella?"

Even though I knew he wouldn't feel it, I punched him in the arm for being sarcastic. "Why don't you let Alice talk some sense into you?"

He looked at me with a slightly shocked expression. "What do you mean by that?"

"Even though you have forbidden her to tell me, we both know she still sees me changed. Maybe she knows something she isn't telling either of us, or maybe she just knows what's going to happen in the future despite your obstinacy." I smiled while saying this, and then kissed him lightly on the lips and got up to walk him to the door, but Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me into his lap.

"You don't give up do you?" He laughed.

"No more than you, and Edward, no eavesdropping." I smiled back.

Then he kissed me, stood up with me still in his arms, and carried me to the door where he kissed me once more before saying goodbye. Then he left.

He left me absolutely breathless, but I needed to pull myself together, set my resolve, and call mom. I knew I had to stand my ground with her and not let her, for one minute, think I didn't mean what I was about to tell her.

I spent five minutes preparing myself for the call, then picked up the phone and dialed her number.

As I heard the phone ring, it hit me, 'What if she's not home?' I wasn't sure I could go through this again. So mentally, I chanted 'pick up the phone' hoping that would make her be home and answer. On the fifth ring, someone did answer.

"Hello?" I realized it was Phil.

"Hi Phil, this is Bella. Is mom there?" I thought, 'please don't let her be out shopping.' I remembered that when she was upset, she would sometimes go shopping to relieve her anxiety.

I heard mom in the background. "Is that Bella? Give that here." I couldn't tell if she was anxious, upset, or outright mad, but I'd learn soon enough when she took the phone.

"Isabella Marie, are you serious?" She was mad, that was a definite.

"Calm down mom. There is no reason to yell or get upset."

"After what you wrote, I think I have a right to be extremely concerned. This isn't like you. You've never been interested in boys before, but now you tell me you're in love." She definitely wasn't calming down.

"Well, that was before I meet someone who is different from the immature variety of school boys I've met." I could tell this wasn't going to be easy.

"How different can he be Isabella?" Oh, if she only knew, I thought. "All teenage boys are the same, and they all think about and want the same thing from a teenage girl. I don't want you being hurt. Edward may seem nice, but he isn't any different. He wants what they all want, and I want you to be safe. You have to be careful. How do you know he isn't leading you on?"

In the background I heard Phil say, "Calm down honey. Bella's more mature than that." Finally, I thought, someone on my side. Mom must have moved the phone away because I faintly heard her say, "No, Phil. Go away for awhile, this is serious."

I wanted mom to understand that Edward wasn't like other guys I'd meet. He wasn't like some of the guys she dated before Phil either. So, to set her mind at rest, I decided to tackle her concern. "Mom, Edward and I are very much alike. I guess the best way to say this is that we are both inexperienced at love, and that's saying a lot for a guy. Besides, Edward and I are in no hurry. We love each other, yes, but we are taking the time to talk and learn about each other."

"How can you be sure this is love? Isabella, you're only seventeen." She refused to be calmed down.

"Mom, love isn't limited by age. I could've asked you the same thing about Phil. How did you know it was love? You thought you loved Charlie when you married him, but you still left him. Was that love?" I discovered convincing mom that we really loved one another wasn't going to be easy.

"You see, that's what I mean. I was too young when I married your dad. I didn't know any better. With Phil, it was different. I was older; and I learned some things."

"Gee, mom, that's vague." I decided I'd have to take this from a more parental viewpoint. "How did you know you loved Phil? What happened between the two of you that convinced you it was love."

"Well, we were able to talk to each other and enjoy each others company. There was also a physical thing between us. Bella, this is embarrassing." She sounded a little calmer now that I turned the conversation to her feelings for Phil.

"Okay, forget the physical thing. Other than that, how did you know it was love?" If I caused her to examine her feelings, then I believed I could convince her that mine and Edward's feelings were the same as hers.

"Maybe it was the feeling I got when he wasn't there. I felt empty and lonely inside. When I knew he was coming over, I got excited, even more than excited. It was like butterflies in my stomach and a feeling of exhilaration knowing he would be with me soon. Then one day I just knew I couldn't stand to have him leave. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and that thought made me extremely happy."

Mom provided me a good starting point for my persuasive argument. "I know those feelings mom. I experience them every time Edward leaves to go home or when he is out camping with his brothers. I get so lonely that I don't know what to do with myself. I ache inside just waiting for him to return. I want him with me always. I don't want to let go of him. I saw that same yearning in you when Phil had away games and you stayed at home with me. I felt so guilty keeping the two of you apart, even though, at the time, I couldn't fathom what you were really feeling. Now I know, and I was right to come and live with dad because I know it's right for you and Phil to be together. In the same manner, I know it's right for Edward and I to be together. Age has nothing to do with whether or not I love Edward, but my feelings toward him have everything to do with it."

"But Bella, you don't have any experience to base your feeling on. You've never even had a boyfriend before this." I knew she'd finally calmed down because I heard mostly concern in her voice.

"Mom, I can base my feelings on your experiences, and I never wanted a boyfriend before this. The boys were all so juvenile, but Edward's not like that. I feel like I've met my intellectual equal, and some one who's as mature as I am mentally. Remember how you said I was born thirty-five and I just got older each year. You were right and Edward's also like that. He may be seventeen, but he doesn't act seventeen. At least not like the ones I've meet. He's more mature than that. He takes time to think about important issues and reads something other than comic books and pulp fiction. Mom, he likes Shakespeare and understands what he reads. I can actually have an intelligent conversation with him about the ramifications of Shakespeare's treatment of women in his plays or the underlying multiple themes that are interwoven in his plays, and he understands what I'm talking about. None of those blank looks that I'd get from other classmates who had no inkling of what I was saying." I thought, 'Not like Mike when he asked about my lit paper a few months ago.'

"I still worry Bella. How do you know he is sincere? How do you know this is not some game he's playing and when he gets what he wants from you he'll just dump you?"

"First, Edward's not that shallow. Second, all he wants from me is to love him, be with him, and share my feelings and thoughts with him."

"And what does he mean by love?" It became easier to talk to her now that she wasn't yelling and sounding overly protective of me.

"With my heart mom, not the other physical activity. Our physical activity is limited to kissing, hugging, and holding hands. That's it. We don't even talk about the other. Does that ease your mind some? Look mom, it's time you realize I'm growing up. I'll be eighteen this year. In fact, my birthday is a little over three months away. This would be different if I told you I was getting married by Christmas or that I was . . . well you know, in trouble, but I'm not. I'm just telling you I have found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and one day I want to marry him. Honest mom, I do know what I'm talking about. I never enter into big decisions without carefully thinking about them and weighing out all the pros and cons. After all these years, you should have more faith in me to know when I'm serious."

"Honey, I just worry about you. One day you'll understand what I'm going through when you become a mom. To me you're still my little girl; it's hard for me to remember that you're becoming a young lady, much less that you've meet the one person you're ready to commit the rest of your life to."

"I know it's hard for you mom, but remember I was the one who ran the house and kept you on track with appointments and money. I don't think I ever spent much of my time being a little girl, not because I didn't have the choice, but because I made the choice not to. That's my personality though, and I always liked taking charge."

"It's just going to take me some time to adjust. Please don't rush anything, give me the time to become better acquainted with Edward, and give me time to accept the fact that you've made your decision."

"Okay mom. I can do that. Besides, I want you to get to know Edward better. You'll like him."

"Well, I'm hoping this is more than a case of falling for a pretty face and body."

"Trust me mom, Edward is more than just a pretty face and body. There is a lot more to him then meets the eye. You just need time to become better acquainted." I knew she would like him given time, but she would never know what I meant about more than meets the eye. I'd never tell her he was a vampire. I believed some things about the Cullens were better left unsaid to Charlie and mom.

"Well, we'll see. I just hope he realizes how special you are, and that he will always take care of you."

"Don't worry mom. Edward treats me like a piece of delicate china. He knows I'm breakable," I chuckled under my breath about the hidden meaning, "because of my clumsiness. He believes it's his duty to keep me safe from all accidents. No one is more careful of my well being as Edward is." I thought, sometimes overly so.

I felt I had relieved some of mom's concerns, so I turned the conversation to Phil's new job and how Phil and mom were liking Florida. We talked for over an hour, and then I realized I'd need to heat dinner for Charlie and me. Since there were so many leftovers from the pre-prom meal that Edward had fixed, I figured I wouldn't need to cook anything else tonight. After reassuring mom one more time that I was happy and fine, I finally hung up the phone and prepared dinner.

Charlie walked in just as I finished and we sat down and enjoyed a delicious meal. Dad spoke little; I knew he was enjoying the food. His longest comments were about Edward's cooking skills and the fact that mom had called him at work to discover how much time Edward and I were spending together. He had assured her that I had a curfew and that, when Edward was at the house, he left promptly at ten o'clock.

It was nine by the time I finished cleaning up and doing dishes, and I told Charlie I was going to turn in early because of how late I had stayed up last night. In fact, I actually was tired and ready to lie down. I was even more ready to lie down with Edward beside me because that would be the finish to a truly perfect day.

I expected to find Edward already on my bed waiting for me when I walked into my room. When I noticed he wasn't there, I decided I'd take a shower and get ready for bed. I figured he must have been held up at home by someone. Thirty minutes later, I found my room still empty. I started to worry; maybe he was upset with me because I had pushed him so hard about why he wouldn't change me. I decided I'd lie down and wait, but when it was quarter to ten and he still didn't show up, I was positive he was mad at me. All I could do was lay with my face in my pillow and cry. I was so mad at myself; I should have known better. I hurt inside so much thinking maybe this time I had pushed him too far and he was not coming back. I had no idea of how long I cried, but I noticed the moment he entered the room. I realized I'd never become desensitized to his scent. I had no time to react to his presence before he scooped me up in his arms and hugged me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset with you," I sob quietly, "I'm upset with myself. I thought I'd driven you away by being so pushy this afternoon."

"Oh Bella," he crooned, "I was late because Esme wanted to talk to me. I never meant to be late, but when I finally realized what time it was, it was already after ten. I got here as fast as I could." He cuddled me close.

I felt so safe and loved in his arms. Why couldn't I be confident of his love when he was absent? Why did I doubt him? "If I upset you Edward, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry I doubted that you would come. I need to have more trust in you, but sometimes I'm afraid you'll decide you've had enough of me and my temper and you'll just leave and never return. I couldn't stand knowing I'd driven you away." I nestled my face into his neck and deeply inhaled every ounce of his aroma that my senses would allow.

"Bella, I promised you I'd stay with you for as long as you wanted, and that I wouldn't leave you. You have to trust that I will keep my word." He began to kiss my neck and I just held him closer.

"If you left me Edward, I don't think I'd have any desire to live. I'd be so lost without you." I had almost stopped crying but the thought of a life without him brought a small sob back into my voice.

"I won't let that happen." He gently laid down in the bed with his arms still wrapped around me. "You need to sleep Bella. It's been a long day."

"Edward, I'll always want you, forever." That was the last thing I said before I drifted off.

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Please review if you enjoyed the story, and please review if you found it objectionable in anyway. Positive critiques are welcome. Thank you very much. I will try to get Edward's chapter out by the beginning of next week.


	6. The Meadow Edward

_A/N – Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it marvelous characters; they are all the soul property of Stephenie Meyer._

_This is still Sunday, the day after the prom. The next chapter will find Edward and Bella back in school, which doesn't end until June in Forks, Washington._

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The Meadow – Edward

I was positive, beyond any doubt, that Bella had chosen the meadow for a specific purpose. I waited for her to tell me; I wasn't going to force her to reveal what ever she wanted to share until she was ready. The more time I spent with Bella, the more I learned about her propensities. I knew Bella would tell me what this was about when she was ready. At least she was trying to be more open with me. Was that a good thing? Did I really want to know everything she thought? In a way, I did want to know because her mind was a closed book to me; no matter how much I tried to open it, it was only when she revealed its contents verbally that I knew what she was thinking. Her body language, on the other hand, was becoming easier to read, if I paid attention. I remembered her mother's comment about Bella's face being an open book, and that was true, but only to a point. Some of her facial expressions were easy. Her open smile, her musical laugh, her revealing blushes that I love the most, her anger that I tried not to arouse, and her sadness, which was the hardest to accept because I always felt like I was the cause of it were all easy to read. Then there were times when I saw furrows in her brow or wrinkles around her mouth like a grimace but I couldn't even guess at what caused them or what thoughts were behind them. I felt she heavily edited what she told me at those times.

I knew she picked the meadow for a reason. I wanted to laugh when she mentioned going there because I knew how she felt about the journey. I loved the speed, but it made her uneasy, so for her to be willing to be carried, I knew she had some motive behind her choice. I had decided I wouldn't ask, even though I wanted to. I'd wait for her to tell me.

Upon reaching the meadow, I spread the quilt on the driest spot I could locate. Then I carefully helped Bella get comfortable on the ground. I worried that the ground was not a good place for her to sit. I didn't want her leg to bother her. I wanted this to be a good day for both of us, and I decided to take Alice's advice. Whatever Bella asked, I'd try to answer as honestly as possible. I wanted to build a good relationship with her; I didn't want to drive her away. If she chose to stay around me, I wanted her to do it because it was her choice and not because of my persuasive personality or attraction. After I had her settled as comfortably as possible, I sat down next to her.

I had been waiting all through the trip to have my question answered, especially after her cryptic reply 'indubitably.' I waited no long and asked, "Now are you going to answer my question?" I took her delicate hand in mine in order to feel her warmth.

"Which one?" She looked into my eyes and smiled.

I loved her smile, and it was easy to fall into the deep brown pools of her eyes. If my heart were beating, it would have begun to race just as hers did at times. Did she realize she had this affect on me?

"The one that read, and I quote, 'I loved him the first time I saw him,' end quote." I scanned her face looking for a reaction, hoping she had meant what she said. I smiled encouragingly at her waiting for her response.

Her luscious lips turned up at both ends, and again I was amazed at how much I loved her smile. "There's really nothing to answer. The first time I saw you sitting across the lunchroom, you captured my heart. I hadn't been aware of it at the time, but looking back, that's when I fell in love with you. That angelic face," she reached out and touched my face with her finger and then lightly let it skim down my check before tracing around my lips, "those piercing dark eyes, and that crooked smile that makes my heart skip a beat. I was lost without even realizing it." My skin tingled with warmth as she traced my face with her finger, and I wondered how one brief moment in time could result in such an intense love.

I had to ask myself, _Could she really have fallen in love just by looking at me?_ I knew, from having endured the thoughts of thousands of teenage girls over the years how divine they thought I looked, but none of their first reactions was love. In fact, most felt fear at first. "Bella, people don't fall in love that quickly. And how about that first day in Biology class. You must've hated me for the way I treated you." I was positive, at the time, that she loathed me for treating her so shoddily.

"Not really. I thought you were revolted by me. I thought," she laughed musically before continuing, "Maybe I smelled bad to you. Funny, I connected even our first encounter to scent."

_She had noticed that_, I thought. I was utterly amazed at how completely perceptive Bella was at things that occurred around her and the fact that she instinctively seemed to notice what others would miss. As to her smell, I replied, "But not a bad scent. Instead, an overwhelmingly delicious aroma, but my thoughts were only about feasting on your blood, not falling in love with you." I remembered that day perfectly. All I could think about was how delicious her blood smelled, how the lure of it threatened to destroy me if I couldn't control the urge to take it from her. I couldn't tell her how I had planned multiple scenarios for her murder, and one of them included the deaths of everyone in the classroom. I couldn't tell her that the thirst for her blood brought the monster out in me and it took supreme will power to escape from her vicinity as quickly as possible without killing her. If anyone had told me then that I'd find myself alone with her without taking her blood, I'd never have believed them. I never thought I'd find myself so completely in love with anyone as much as I loved Bella.

"Then it's a good thing you were able to resist me because I'd never have resisted you. I still can't resist you or your scent." She ran her finger around my lips again causing a tantalizingly warm sensation to ripple through me.

"You mean when I breathe on you, like this," and I leaned over and intentionally breathed into her lovely face. I enjoyed the affect I had on her. I wanted her love, I cherished her love, but I feared for her life whenever she was around me. I knew how much control I had to maintain so as not to hurt Bella. She was so fragile in many ways but my love for her helped me to focus on her soul more than her body or her blood.

I heard her heart beat faster and sensed the quickening of her pulse.

"Yes and when you walk near me or sit or stand in the same room with me, your heady scent fills my senses; even my bed is filled with it." She blushed a lovely shade of pink. Even without any human body functions, I knew her innocence and embarrassment touched my stone cold heart.

"Even with my attitude that day, you wouldn't have resisted me if I'd have asked you to walk into the woods with me?" I playfully nuzzled her velvety neck. That day constantly played back in my mind, and I knew if I had released the monster, I would have ruined my existence because of destroying someone so pure and innocent.

"No, I wouldn't have resisted," she replied as she leaned more into my lips.

It was almost as if she was giving me the opportunity to finish what I had planned that day by offering me her silky smooth neck with her delicious blood pumping through her veins. I let my lips embrace her neck while keeping my teeth from piercing her delicate skin.

"Because of my fragrance." I stated. I was well aware of my powers that attacked my victims but I didn't want Bella to be a victim of the monster. Instead, I wanted her to be a victim of my heart, which burst with love for her.

"No, more than that. As I said, I was already in love with you without realizing it. I'd have gone anywhere with you." Her sigh engulfed me with her fragrance.

"What if I'd been a mass murderer? Let's correct that. How could you fall in love with a monster, a murderer?" I thought, _How can I tell an angel a devil lives inside of me?_

"I'd still have followed, besides that's a subjective opinion. I don't see you that way." Her eyes were so trusting, but I knew how unsafe it was for her to put so much trust in me. "I see you as an angel, and the only person I ever want to be with. As far as I'm concerned, the world can just pass me by because you're the only world I want. Nothing else matters."

I knew she had seen the monster I was capable of becoming because I saw him reflected in her eyes when our paths first crossed in Biology. That monster was still there waiting for me to slip, if only Bella could understand how dangerous I could be to her life. "Bella, I don't want you giving up on life. You've so much life yet to experience. It's not right to steal that away from you." He pushed a little away from me and gazed directly into my eyes.

"Do you really believe that I'd miss any of that?" Her deep brown eyes threatened to engulf me in their depths of honesty and trust. "Edward, the only thing I'd ever miss is being with you." She looked away, leaned against my chest, and ran her hand up and down my arm. My flesh tingled at her touch. "Edward, tell me why you won't change me?"

"I thought you understood." I wanted her to understand, but I couldn't force myself to reveal the monster that dwelt inside. I couldn't force myself to discuss the thirst that desiccated my throat or the craving that smoldered in a segment of my mind for a mouthful of her blood. To help stay focused, I kissed the top of her head and played with a strand of her richly scented hair.

"No, not really. All you've said is you don't want me to miss anything, but what would I really miss. I haven't had much of a life, but what I've had would change very little if I were like you."

"No, Bella, you don't understand." Maybe I could share the other bits of normal life she'd have to renounce. "You'd never sleep, you'd never have human friends, you'd never have children, and you'd constantly have to watch that you didn't give away what you were." Did she realize she'd sacrifice so much? "You spend your life on the move. You're never able to set down roots anywhere. You can't settle down because you don't age, and people get suspicious and ask questions. You endure a thirst for human blood but learn to overcome that thirst and be satisfied with the substitute. You'd have to give up the sunlight and your parents."

"Would I have to give up you?" She stroked my cheek, which made me aware of what I'd sacrifice by letting her go.

I found a deep longing building within to keep her with me, but forced the thought away. "No, but that's a poor substitute for life."

"No it isn't. Edward, you're my life, and I'm in the sunlight with you now. How would that change if I were like you? I've never had friends only acquaintances. Alice is the first person, besides you, I ever felt I could call a friend. As for children, I don't want any. The thought of being a parent terrifies me. Being as accident prone as I am, imagine what any child's life would be like with me as their mother." A musical laugh escaped her mouth.

"What's so funny?" I loved her laugh but couldn't fathom what she found funny about not having children. I thought every woman wanted children. I knew Esme saw children as special blessings, so why would Bella have no desire to have one. I still found myself amazed at some of Bella's reactions and revelations.

"I made up my mind about children when I was fifteen. Mom secured a babysitting job for me, my first and last. It was a disaster. It's lucky either of us survived. That poor child must've been traumatized for weeks. Afterwards, she started crying every time she saw me, and it took me a month to recover from my own injuries."

"What did you do?" I couldn't understand why any child would fear Bella. I wondered why the experience as so traumatic, and why it affected Bella in such a manner.

"Let's just say, that I endured almost every household injury, and Mandy, poor thing, sustained a few minor injuries I wasn't able to deflect from her to me." I tried to concentrate fully on what she was saying but she ran her finger lightly across my face outlining my eyes, nose, and lips and distracted me from giving her words my total attention.

"Like what?" I wanted to comprehend fully what she was going to tell me, but with her delicate fingers touching my face, I was in danger of losing control. I continued to wonder if she knew exactly what her touch did to my senses and if she did it on purpose to excite me or maybe distract me from what she wasn't telling me. I couldn't image that Bella would intentionally try to deceive me, so I accepted the idea that Bella didn't fully comprehend her affect on me. She continually reminded me that I dazzled her and others, but her touch, many times, dazzled me because of the new sensations it caused me to experience. So to refocus my thoughts on her words, I sat her on my lap so I could hold her hands still.

"Oh, a scrapped knee when we tripped over each other in the backyard, a bump on the head when she fell off the swing set, and . . ."

Okay, that did sound like Bella. If an accident was anywhere near at hand, she would find it, or it would find her. I couldn't help but smile at that thought. "Stop, I get the idea. Didn't they suspect you of child abuse?"

"No, I had more injuries then she did." Her hand once again began to trace my lips and I couldn't resist lightly brushing a strand of loose hair behind her ear and decided I would caress her face with my hand with the hope that I would distract her as much as she distracted me.

"Really? Please enlighten me." I felt this could turn into an interesting story. I enjoyed hearing about Bella's life and the problems and mishaps that she encountered. I hoped, maybe, talking about her normal life would help her realize what she would be missing.

"Well, I skinned both my knees and hands when we fell. I had a deep cut above my eye where the swing hit me when Mandy fell off, I cut my finger while making her lunch, and I sprained my ankle walking upstairs to put her to bed. Plus, there were numerous other bruises and scrapes. I looked a mess. I think they felt more sympathy for me than they did for their daughter."

Bella proved me wrong about my speculation. I kept forgetting hers was not a normal life. If I kept her talking about her past, I would never lead her to a desire to resume a normal life because hers was too full of accidents. I couldn't help but laugh at myself for thinking that Bella ever lead a normal life.

"Okay, so you think it would be safer if you didn't have children, but what if you change your mind as you grow older?" I wanted her seriously to consider the fact that she'd never have children.

"Once I've made a decision about something, I very seldom change my mind. Other than the reasons you've given, which won't dissuade me from my choice, what other rationale do you have for not changing me."

"An eternity of being on the run from being discovery. Bella, after the first seventy-five years, days blur into each other. It's as if you're offered nothing new just the same thing day after day. You get to a point where there're no thrills left, no surprises, no originality. You're constantly looking for something new and different, but it's all the same. Bella, it gets boring and you thirst for something more, but there isn't anything." She needed to take this seriously. She needed to consider what she would lose. I knew I was pointing out many of the obvious concerns, but I couldn't bring myself to broach the subject of the monster that would grow inside of her and try to dominate her life. If I did that, I would have to reveal the monster in me that she had caught a glimpse of when we first met. A monster I still struggled to repress. It was the ugly side of me; the side I never wanted her to see again. I know Alice told me to be open and honest, but about this I felt ashamed and I didn't want Bella to see that side of me again - a side of me that given the opportunity would rip into her soft tender throat and drain her dry.

"So basically you're saying you'll get bored with me and go looking for someone more exciting. So, all I am to you is a diversion, intrinsically temporary entertainment." Although she tried to repress it, I could see tears welling up in her deep chocolate eyes.

I thought, _How can she think that? How can she even believe I would ever feel that way about her? Haven't I made my feelings absolutely clear? Does she think so little of herself that I could ever be bored or unhappy with her? _I needed to reassure her and make it crystal clear that I would never feel that way, so I tenderly cupped her chin, turned her heavenly face toward mine, and looked deeply into her eyes. I felt as though I could fall into her eyes and never return. With every ounce of tenderness I could call forth, I replied, "No Bella, I'll never get bored with you. How could I. You're everything I'll ever want, but, in time, I may become that to you. In fact, I may be that already because I'm different than anyone else you've ever met."

I relinquished her chin and ran my finger down her cheek but her eyes remained fixed on my and I could find no release. I desired no release. I decided I would just drowned in her and be at peace.

"Edward, you're difference isn't all in your looks or what you are, it's in your demeanor. You're intelligent, witty, overbearing, and extremely lovable. Most importantly, you're not shallow like most of the guys I've met. You're real difference is who you are, not what you are."

_I'm over bearing,_ I thought. I decided I needed to come back to this issue, but not until we resolved the issue at hand. "We still come back to the problem of regret. You feel this way now, but what if those feelings change. Don't you see, once you're change you can't change back; there are no other options. We don't get to select whether we want to remain what we are or change back, this is permanent, forever. There's no going back for any of us." I couldn't understand why she didn't understand how lonesome, monotonous and monstrous this existence could become. Why wouldn't she except the fact that I knew what I was talking about concerning the regret that would eventually consume her and lead her to hate me because I made the choice to change her.

"What makes you think I'd want to 'go back,' as you put it?"

Didn't she realize that we all felt some type of regret? She should realize that some of us could be consumed by regret, a regret that altered our personality. "Because we all experience regrets and wonder what if. What if I hadn't been changed? What if I'd been allowed to live a normal life? What if I'd been asked first, what would I have decided? I don't want you hating me for changing you, or looking at me with regret wishing I hadn't changed you." I closed my eyes to break the contact with her eyes that were continuing to drag me into her own. I needed to clear my thoughts, which wouldn't happen if I continued to drown her in lovely piercing eyes.

"Don't you realize I'd never want anything accept you that my one desire and longing is for us to remain together forever," she countered.

I opened my eyes and I found her eyes boring into my inner most being. I couldn't help but wonder if she were seeking the monster within for some unknown reason. I felt deceptive as I gazed into her eyes because they were so open, honest and forthcoming, but mine were shaded and hiding my darkest secret from her.

She surprised me by asking, "Edward, I thought you didn't have a choice that Carlyle saved you from dying that every one of you that he changed was on the verge of death anyway."

"We were." _Why would she ask that? I had explained the circumstances to her. _ I couldn't help but wonder what prompted that question.

She leaned in and asked, "So, if he would've asked you whether you wanted to die or become what he was, would you have chosen death?"

"No." Once again, I was astonished at her question.

"Then what's the difference? I'm making a choice with a clear idea of what I'm getting into." She rested her cheek against my chest and took deep breath.

_Did she think she had won this discussion? Did she think I would allow her to make this choice without understanding all the consequences of such a rash decision?_ "Bella, it is different for you." I stressed each word. "You've your whole life in front of you. You're not at death's door. There's so much more waiting for you and I can't be the one who takes that away. One day I'd see the regret in your eyes and know you hated me for taking those things away and not being able to give them back." I knew she would regret her decision, and she would blame me. That would harm our relationship, and I had no desire to lose her because of a bad choice on my part.

"You see, that's what I mean. You keep saying I have a choice because I'm not at death's door, but I've been there numerous times, and each time you pulled me back. And as for taking everything away from me, Edward, you're the only thing I want nothing else matters. How could I ever hate you if you're the one who choose to keep me forever because that's what I wanted? My question basically remains unanswered."

"Which one?" I felt I had answered all her questions, even if not fully. I couldn't see where she was going next.

"Are you keeping me around for temporary entertainment because you know you'll become bored with me?"

I was so shocked that she could still believe that, so I pulled away from her and looked deep into her eyes. It hurt to know she could believe I would behave so callously. "Bella, how can you even think that? You'll never bore me; in fact, you'll always surprise me. I want nothing more that to spend every minute of my time with you."

"But forever?"

"Yes forever. Never doubt that I love you, and I will always love you."

"But not enough to keep me forever."

I could tell she still doubted me because she shifted her face down breaking eye contact. The waver in her voice also revealed her doubt, concern, and fear. 

Once again, I cupped her chin tenderly in my hands and tilted her head up so I could fall deeply in her eyes. I empowered my words with the passion I felt for her. "That's not true. I want to keep you forever, but it wouldn't be right. I can't kill you just because want you. I love you too much to make you suffer, and suffer you would. You don't know; you can't fully understand what it's like to exist this way."

"But I'd be sharing it with you. Don't you realize that I'd endure any suffering if it meant we'd never be separated? No, I can see this is something we don't agree on, but maybe future circumstance will enlighten you to what I really desire. Until then, I'll just keep hoping, and I'll continue making myself ready for what will eventually come."

I continued to stare deeply into her eyes. She told me something and I missed it. It was something subtle, something I should have picked up on; something she had done recently but what. I reflected back on the past twenty-four hours because I knew it had to be something resent. What had she done recently? I retraced the event in my mind. She had fallen asleep in my arms after the prom. She had that nightmare that woke Charlie up and brought him into the room. She talked to Charlie about us. No, she told Charlie how she really felt about me. It became a little clearer. She emailed her mother about her feelings. She openly confessed her love for me to her parents.

"Bella, what have you done?" I was shocked; I couldn't believe she'd done this. "You wouldn't . . . you couldn't . . . you didn't." I stammered. I realized she was burning her bridges and joining herself to me body and soul in front of her parents. She was preparing for what she saw as the final break from them. "You did! Bella, how could you?"

She didn't even deny my suspicions; instead, she stated, "Edward, one of the hardest things for me to do is make a decision. I can spend hours brooding over it. I can get frustrated, angry, and even irritated at myself, but when I finally make a decision, I'm resolved to carry that decision through, just as I did that day after La Push beach. I spent a better part of the morning deciding what I'd do about the information Jacob imparted to me. And like I once told you, my decision was that it didn't matter. It still doesn't matter. I don't care what you think you are, and I don't care what the Quileute say you and your family are. All that matters to me, as it did then, is that I love you."

I'd always wondered what her reasoning was for entering the woods, and she'd revealed the answer, but it made me wonder how resolved she really was about her decision. I couldn't understand how a human as innocent, sweet, delicate, and intelligent as Bella could forsake everything safe and normal and fall in love with the most dangerous predator of humans.

Bella needed to be more careful. She needed to care about what happened to her. "You should care. All these things should matter to you; it's all a part of your future."

"You've given me a lot to think about Edward, and I promise I'll think about them, but don't count on me changing my mind. Little of what you've said will alter how I feel, and I doubt I'll change the course I'm on right now. You see, for me you're my future, and more than anything, I believe fate's determined my outcome one way or another. The choice will ultimately fall to you because I know which choice I want. The question is which choice do you want?"

"Bella, you know what my choice is." Didn't she understand that I couldn't condemn her to this existence?

"And what if that choice is no longer an option?" Before I could reply, she put her warm fingers on my cold lips. I wanted to voice my reply, but her action warned me to stay silent for the time being.

Bella slipped off my lap and lay down with her head on my lap. I watched her as she regulated her breathing and pretended to sleep. I listened as she breathed and matched my breath to hers. I planned on listening for a few minutes before beginning our conversation again, but it took only a few moments before I realized she actually had fallen asleep.

As I looked upon her sleeping form, I allowed a number of emotions to skitter through my thoughts. First, I felt it was becoming easier to be around Bella but only because I constantly reminded myself of how breakable she was. I also continually reminded myself that one false slip on my part could instantly end Bella's life. I shuddered at that thought, but forced myself to remember how my actions could harm Bella.

In addition, my mind wondered back to the scent and taste of Bella's blood. That part of me that thirsted for her blood had to be kept under constant control. I could never allow that part of me to overrule the part that loved Bella more than my own existence. I knew when I kept my focus on my love for Bella that my thirst was easier to control, but that thirst never disappeared; it was a constant reminder of what I was.

My feelings of love for Bella created my next images and thoughts. I thought about my desires for Bella. I longed to touch her as I'd seen Emmett touch Rosalie but more gently like Jasper when he was intimate with Alice. At one time, I never believed I'd have these human feeling for anyone, but Bella's advent changed my whole world. Bella was like a light in the darkness; a sun that smiled down on me and radiated into my entire being. She brought warmth where I once only knew cold and joy where I only experienced sorrow. Bella was becoming the most important person in my existence. Everything I thought or did centered on Bella and her happiness; the one factor I tried to push aside was the knowledge that as long as I was around, Bella would never have the opportunity to live a normal human life. I hindered her from living, and I hated myself for not being strong enough to leave her.

Bella interrupted my thoughts by shifting slightly in her sleep and uttered my name. "Edward." It came out with such love and longing that I wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and tenderly smoother her with kisses, but I refused my urge so as not to wake her, but her utterance renewed within me the longing to make her a permanent part of my world. I didn't want to give her up, but I knew it was only right to return her to the world were she belonged.

The war within me raged as Bella slept. On one side, I knew it was right to surrender her to her real existence, but on the other side, the selfish side, I longed to keep her with me, and in one section of my mind, the monster waited for a weakness, a dropping of my guard when he could surface and satisfy his hunger for Bella's blood. My greatest fear was that one day the monster would win because I wouldn't be able to impede him from stealing Bella away from me.

I allowed the war in mind to rage as I searched for ways to repress my monster permanently. I also watched the sun inch across the sky. Finally, I noticed Bella's breathing change and I knew she was waking up. As I watched her face, I thought once more about how beautiful she looked to me. I also knew I would never find another person like Bella no matter how many decades I survived.

I smiled down upon her and remarked, "She awakes. Did you have a nice nap?"

"How long was I asleep?" she asked; her eyes barely open.

"About an hour or so."

"Why didn't you wake me?" She sat up and stretched. Her lovely form filled my eyes with unbidden desires.

"I love to watch you sleep. An inner beauty radiates from your face as you sleep. You're so at peace and few worries mar your angelic face, and I can stare at you all I want without interruption and enjoy your beauty." I couldn't resist her any longer, so I took her face in my hands, leaned toward her and gently kissed her luscious red lips.

"You say the loveliest things, and . . . no, let's not go there. I think it's time we put aside changes for the moment and focus on other controversial issues," she remarked playfully.

"Okay, how about your comment that I was overbearing." I needed the conversation to follow a lighter note after some of the dark thoughts I'd just wrestled.

"Well, you are. You want everything your way, despite what others want."

I noticed she had the cutest pout. Much prettier, in my opinion, than the sour pout I often saw upon Rosalie's countenance.

"Well, I disagree. I think about what's best for you first. I call that being considerate." I laughed because of the comparison to Rosalie. How could Carlisle ever have thought I could feel for Rosalie what I was feeling for Bella? I acknowledge to myself that no one would ever replace Bella in my heart.

"But what if what you think is best for me isn't viewed by me in the same way." The playfulness in her voice was replaced by seriousness.

"I thought we weren't broaching that topic again." I kept laugher in voice because I didn't want the conversation to turn serious.

"You started it." Her pout was back.

"No I didn't. You said I was overbearing." I thought, _Let's not discuss changing you_.

"And you are. Right now for instance. Okay, truce. Let's pick another topic," and this time she laughed, which reassured me that we would avoid our controversial topic of earlier.

"Like what?"

She totally changed the topic on me. "How long were you in my room while I was writing my mom?"

"Not long, only about two or three seconds."

"Then you didn't see everything I wrote." She seemed relieved about that fact.

"Yes I did." I wanted to smile but refrained. She was going to discover I had in fact read the entire email.

"How?" Her expression reflected disbelief and then shock.

"I read fast."

"How fast?" She asked.

"Extremely. It's like running."

"So, you read everything I wrote, but do you remember what was in it?"

"Hum. Well, it began, 'I won't tell you to sit down because I know you already are. So here is my news. Edward took me to prom last night, despite my overwhelming protests, and I surprisingly enjoyed the experience. It was not the prom I enjoyed, however, as much as the company.' But I especially liked, 'I have given this much thought, and I know what I feel for Edward. This feeling comes from deep within my heart, and if I admit the truth to myself, I loved him the first time I saw him.'" I smiled at the memory of the last comment.

"You have a photographic memory." She stated it as a fact. Then her expression changed and her face lit up. "You're helping me study for finals."

"I won't give you the answers." I wanted her to realize I wouldn't do anything to cause her to cheat on any of her test.

"I hadn't thought about that. You'll know all the answers for the tests. In fact you probably already know what'll be on the tests."

I didn't like where this conversation was going. "I still won't give you the answers. I go through this every year with Emmett. He thinks I should help him, but that would be cheating." Emmett could become irritating over this issue. Besides, it wasn't as if he didn't know the information; he had a photographic memory as well, so he didn't need to know what the questions would be in order to answer them.

"Does everyone in your family have a photographic memory?"

"Yes." I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking at that moment.

And then she told me, "I wonder if Emmett had the same teachers last year as I have now."

"Why?"

"Maybe I'll ask him to help me study."

"That's still cheating Bella." I didn't believe it was possible that Bella was really thinking of cheating on a test.

"Not if he just quizzes me about information."

"No, he can study by himself or with Rose. I'll be your study partner." I liked Emmett, but I had no desire for him to spend time with Bella. Bella was mine, and I would help her study, not some other male.

"Are you going to suck the fun out of everything I want to do? You see, there's that trait of being overbearing again."

"You call cheating fun?"

"No, but a little help wouldn't hurt."

She was being particularly obstinate about this studying business; then it dawned on me why – trig, the subject she struggled with the most. "Emmett never took trig." Maybe that would deter her from asking Emmett for help, I thought.

"Oh." She seemed surprised that I had guessed her reason for wanting help.

"And as to having fun, how about this?" It hurt when she said I didn't enjoy having fun, so I decided I would engage in an activity I found extremely enjoyable. I pulled Bella closer and began kissing her shoulders, her neck, and slowly moved up her face until my lips found hers.

As I explored her neck with my lips, she sighed, "Yes."

I found this activity vastly enjoyable, and the sensations that rippled through my body were extremely pleasurable. If she were enjoying herself half as much as I was, then she would know that I did not suck the fun out of everything she wanted to do because I knew she also enjoyed this activity. I was also aware of the fact that it was hard for her not to respond in the way she desired to respond. Her restraints on her personal responses were amazing; it made me acknowledge how unique she was. She was able to enjoy the little I was able to give her without jeopardizing the safely of us both. I could never have indulged in this activity with any other juvenile females because they lacked Bella's integrity and determined control. Yes, Bella was a truly unique individual.

To my displeasure, I notice the sun was beginning its downward journey and I knew it was time to take Bella home. Bella was reluctant to release her embrace, so I decided I would just pick her up and head for the car. Bella would have to be in my arms anyway as I ran, so this seemed the easiest way to overcome her dislike of my running speed. We completed the trip to the car in silence. I felt this had been a special day, and Bella's silence reinforced that feeling.

The drive home was as silent as the drive to the meadow, but this time Bella laid her head against my shoulder. I enjoyed her closeness and I realized that even though I enjoyed driving fast, being fast shortened our time together. It seemed only moments passed before I pulled up in Bella's driveway. I knew I wasn't ready for the day to be over, so I carried Bella into her living room, set her down on the couch, and then I returned the quilt to the closet.

"You're so quiet. What are you thinking?" I asked as I sat down beside her.

She took my hand and kissed my fingertips. "How lucky I am, how much I love being with you, and how beautiful today has been."

"I love you too, but you seemed so deep in thought on the way home, I wondered if something else was on your mind." I enjoyed her sharing her thoughts, and I savored the sensations she caused as she kissed my fingers. In return, I caressed her face with my free hand.

"No, not deep in thought, I was just enjoying the feel of you as I laid my head against you and feeling that this is how I want to spend the rest of my life." She sighed deeply.

Her sigh was so deep, I thought, _Was she tired of my company? Did I do something wrong?_ I was concerned about upsetting her, so I asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing really. I just remembered I need to call mom and, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to talk to her alone."

"In other words, you want me to leave." I knew this wasn't going to be easy for her. Would it really be anymore easy if I stayed around? I doubted that.

"Yes and no. Yes, because I need to speak to her alone, and no because I feel more comfortable and at ease when you're around, but I can't have both."

"I could hang around outside," I chuckled. If I stayed, I could hear what she said, and I could rush in and comfort her if she needed comforting.

"Oh sure, and how would that look to the neighbor's. I can hear it now, 'There's that Cullen boy hanging around again. Doesn't he ever go home?' No, there's no need for inquisitive neighbors to start gossiping, and I definitely don't want someone to suggest to Charlie that you look like a stalker hanging around outside." Her laugh brightened the room and her mood.

"What's so funny?" I inquired

"I just thought about when all of this started. Maybe you were a stalker at first, but I'm glad you fell in love with me. Unrequited love can be so depressing."

She didn't know how true her words really were. I did stalk her at first, but as prey not as an object of love. I wondered how she would feel if I revealed that information to her. Instead, I asked, "How long do you want me to stay away?"

"If I could plug up your ears so you couldn't hear, not at all, but since that's impossible, how about two hours."

Two hours, I groaned internally. "What am I going to do for two hours without my Bella?"

"Why don't you let Alice talk some sense into you?"

She knew Alice's vision about her changing; was she really thinking I would allow Alice to change my mind. "What do you mean by that?"

"Even though you have forbidden her to tell me, we both know she still sees me changed. Maybe she knows something she isn't telling either of us, or maybe she just knows what's going to happen in the future despite your obstinacy." She smiled, kissed me lightly on the lips, and got up to walk me to the door, but I decided I wanted more contact, so I pulled her gently into my lap.

"You don't give up do you?" She really thought Alice could change my mind. I laughed at the thought.

"No more than you, and Edward, no eavesdropping." She smiled back.

I didn't want to get into another argument about this issue, so I kissed her, stood up, but keep her in my arms, and carried her to the door where I kissed her once more before saying goodbye. Then I quickly left.

It didn't take me long to reach home, it never did. Before I reached the front door, Alice met me.

"Bella's mom is really up set."

"What did you see?" I needed to know that Bella was all right.

"I heard it more than I saw it." She was intentionally drawing this out. Why didn't she just tell me what she knew?

"What did you hear, Alice?" There was a slight edge in my voice.

"She called her by her full given name."

"Isabella?" I remembered Esme becoming very up set with me one day and using my full name, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. It sent chills down my spine to remember the disappointed tone in her voice. I realized I didn't know Bella's full given name.

"No. Isabella Marie." Alice smiled.

I thought, _Edward Anthony and Isabella Marie. Yes, they sound right together._ "I like that. It suits her." I noticed Alice's smile vanishing. "What's wrong?"

"You didn't tell Bella everything. You held back." Her frown deepened.

"I tried, but there were some things I couldn't reveal. They were too ugly." I couldn't bring myself to reveal the ugly part of myself to Bella.

"That was a mistake, Edward."

"Why? What do you see?" I reached out to her mind but saw only shadowy images.

"It's not clear, but your omission will lead to something. A decision which hasn't been made, but it could be harmful." Alice paused. I saw her searching deep but nothing clear appeared. "Why can't you just listen to my advice and follow it? Would it be so hard to tell Bella the truth about your thirst? Edward, Bella never saw the monster, she only saw you."

"No, Alice. I saw the monster reflected in her eyes twice that day. She would run from me, from us, if I told her all of the truth." I experienced emptiness when I thought about Bella fleeing from me never to return.

"Edward, you're wrong. Bella is much stronger than you give her credit. She is going to surprise you by the depth of her love for you even though you currently don't believe that." Alice turned and gracefully waltzed into the house where I knew Esme was waiting for me.

I found Esme in the living room; she watched my entry.

"Edward," Esme began, "Come have a seat. I'd like to talk to you."

"Should I guess what this is about?" Even though I knew, I thought I'd ask to see if Esme would honestly tell me what Alice and she had been talking about.

"You already know it's about Bella, so humor me."

"Okay." I walked over and sat down. "What's on your mind?"

"Edward, you know Carlisle and I consider Bella one of the family . . ."

I gave a low growl. I didn't want to talk about changing Bella.

"Edward," Esme's voice was sterner, "Let me finish before you become upset. Dispute the fact that Bella **is** human, we **still** consider her part of our family. I see how much she loves you, and I see the love you have for her. What I want to know is how serious are you about the relationship that is growing between you two?"

"What do you mean?" I searched her mind, but what I saw was her desire just to know if I was serious about Bella. "I love her Esme. How much more serious is that?"

"But how much do you love her?" She looked into my face looking for an answer.

"I love her enough not to want her to be like us. I love her enough to give her up when she is ready to live a normal life." Was I being honest? Yes, I loved her enough not to change her, but could I truly give her up. The more time I spent with her the more I wondered how it would feel to lose her; not just for a while, but forever. Not just forever, but forever to someone else, to someone who wasn't me.

"And in the process of leaving her, what if you hurt her?"

"Esme, I'd never hurt Bella. What did Alice see? Does she see me hurting Bella?" _Had Alice held something back?_ Alice walked into the living room.

"Don't bother looking into my mind, Edward. You won't see blood or death. I don't see that type of hurt. Esme means, what if in the process of letting Bella go, because you're not willing to commit totally to this relationship, you break Bella's heart. Can you honestly say you would not be hurting her?"

"Look, I promised Bella I'd stay with her as long as she wanted me around. When she finally realizes that she wants a normal life, I'll leave. I won't be breaking her heart." I didn't add that I'd only be breaking mine, but I'd do it to make Bella safe and happy.

Alice laughed. "Bella will never leave you Edward. Are you so blind that you can't see how much she loves you? Haven't you looked in her eyes and seen the love she has for you. No, Edward, Bella will never willing decide to leave you. When I look at her future . . ."

"Don't Alice. I don't want to hear that I change her that I steal her life from her." How could she and Esme believe that I'd kill Bella, for I knew if I changed her, I'd be killing her?

"Alice, why don't you go spend some time with Jasper. Edward and I need to talk alone." Esme smiled at Alice and then watched her leave the room. "Edward, without interrupting, let me have my say. Okay?"

Esme just smiled at me and I knew I'd stay and listen to whatever she said. "I'll listen, but that doesn't mean I'll agree with you."

"I didn't ask you to agree. I just asked you to listen. Some of what I'm going to say, you already know, but I want to tell it again so you'll understand what I'm going to tell you afterwards concerning Bella. Don't get upset." She turned my face to so I'd look at her.

Esme was good at reading faces; almost as good as I was at reading minds. She knew she was treading on tender ground when she spoke about Bella.

"When I was sixteen, I saw Carlisle for the first time. Today, people would say I was too young to know what love was at that age, but we were raised differently back then. You remember how it was. I knew I loved him the first time I saw him, and it wasn't just because he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. His beauty was nothing compared to his compassion, and that was the quality in him I fell in love with, but I knew he didn't feel that way about me, and I knew I'd probably never see him again."

Esme stared off into space as she was remembering her past. She had a lost look on her face that was very endearing.

"I had decided I'd never marry. In fact, I'd no desire to marry because I knew I'd always love Carlisle and that was due to one brief meeting. Of course, you know how the rest of this goes. My father convinced me to marry when I was 22, an old maid by some standards, and even though I tried to love my husband, I could never forget the one true love of my life. I couldn't find happiness and I was miserable trying to make due with someone that was not even second best. Edward, that kind of pain can cause more hurt than any other physical hurt a human can undergo in a normal lifetime. When I finally ended my life, or thought I had, all I could think was at least the pain would stop. I knew I'd never be happy so death was the next best alternative." She stopped and drew in her breath. If she'd been able to, I wondered if there'd be tears in her eyes.

"It takes a lot for a person to decide death is better than life, but what did I have left. The only man I ever loved was lost to me forever, and my child, who would have been a replacement in my heart for Carlisle, had been taken from me. I saw no life left to me. When I woke up and saw Carlisle, I thought I was in heaven until I felt the pain. Then I thought I was in hell and this was my punishment. I thought I'd suffer unendurable pain for eternity while I gazed upon the face of the only man I ever loved." Esme took a deep breath before she continued. "When I finally realized what had really happened I felt two things at once, disgust at what I was and overwhelming happiness at seeing the one person who I'd been longing for. My greatest fear, when I had discovered what Carlisle had done for me, was that he'd done it just because he was lonely and not because he loved me. I guess you have heard that unrequited love is painful, and that is what I thought I'd have to live with forever. Carlisle soon discovered that I deeply loved him, and had in fact been in love with in from that first meeting. Over time, he fell in love with me, and then a completely new world opened up. I was no longer alone, and I wasn't just someone to have around for company. You know how my heart felt, Edward. I imagine yours felt the same way when you learned to Bella loved you." She looked at me questioningly.

"Yes, I think I understand that feeling. It was like having the sunshine on my face in the middle of the night. I still feel that way when Bella smiles at me with her heart."

"Yes, you do understand. Then understand this, Edward. Bella will feel the same way I first felt if you decide to leave her, or as you say, let her go."

"No, she won't," I wouldn't accept that. Bella would never feel that way, "but she will feel disgusted with herself and me if I changed her. Like you said, her first reaction would be disgust at what she has become, and then she'll hate me for changing her." No, I refused to change her and she would feel relieved to be free from a life of death. I wanted to believe this because it would make it easier to let her go.

"Don't delude yourself, Edward. Bella is human, like I was. I see the same love in her that I felt and still feel for Carlisle. She sees you as her soul mate, her life, her one and only love. Edward, she'll never love anyone as she loves you. If you force her out of your life, she'll have no life. In fact, she'll want no other life because nothing can replace what she has shared with you. As to feeling the same disgust that I felt, I don't believe she will. Edward, I had no idea of what Carlisle was when I fell in love with him. I didn't ask him to change me. Bella knows what we are. She accepts us as no human has ever accepted us. She knows what she is asking for; she knows what our existence is like." I knew she meant every word she said. She hid none of her thoughts from me. Even in her mind, she repeated the fact that Bella would only love me.

"Esme, how can you know for sure? How do you know she'll accept everything this existence means or that, once changed she'll still accept what she has become. I don't want to see hatred or disgust in Bella's eyes ever. I don't want her hating me. How do you know her love would continue after she has been changed?" I wanted to believe her; I wanted it very much because it would mean that I was not imagining my angel being in love with me. I'd know that Bella's love was true and that she didn't and wouldn't hate me for coming into her life.

"I know because I can see it in her face. Edward, I watch her staring at you all the time. Don't you see what's right in front of your eyes? Next time you look at Bella, really look at her, read her face. Stop trying to read her mind. Look, I know this is hard for you because you have never had an experience like this before." She paused and then continued, "I know I've given you a lot to think about, but for Bella's sake and for the sake of the love you two share, please think about what I've said. And remember, the greatest pain any human can suffer is a broken heart; it never totally heals." Esme got up, kissed my forehead, and left me to ponder what she'd said.

Could Bella really love me that much? I knew she said she loved me, and I wanted to believe that she loved me almost as much as I loved her, but could she love me enough that if she were changed she wouldn't regret what she'd become. Maybe Alice was right, maybe I should've told Bella everything about our existence. Maybe I should tell her yet tonight. There was so much I wasn't sure about, but I was sure about how much I loved her. I didn't realize how long I sat and thought about everything Esme said, but finally I notice it was dark. I had to find out what time it was, and just as I was getting ready to look, Emmett walked into the room.

"Oh, I didn't see you there. I'm not bothering you, am I, and why aren't you at Bella's like you usually are?" He truly seemed surprised to see me.

"What time is it?"

"After ten. By this time, you're usually over there and we don't see you til dawn or later. In fact, I didn't think I'd see you at all after last night."

"What do you mean by that?" What was he suggesting?

"Well, Rose thought maybe you'd moved into Bella's bedroom permanently since you didn't make your early morning appearance today."

"Rosalie should know better than to make comments like that." I snapped. How could anyone dislike Bella?

"I told her you wouldn't be happy when you found out, but you know Rose, she says what she thinks and doesn't care if you get mad at her. Edward, I like Bella, and I'm sorry that Rose acts this way, but I'm trying to convince her to be cordial at least."

"I know, and I didn't mean to snap. Bella is going to think I'm mad at her. I told her I'd only be gone two hours." I got up to leave and then remembered. "Oh, Emmett, don't give Bella any answers for finals you took last year," and with that I rushed out of the house. I could only imagine the look I left on Emmett face by that cryptic comment, but his parting thoughts were, _What's that all about? Oh, man! Finals are coming up._..

As I reached Bella's house, I heard her crying. Once again, I caused her this pain. Would my carelessness always be the cause of Bella's pain? I hated myself for inflicting this on her, and I didn't want her to cry any more tonight because of me. I rushed through her window, swiftly sat down beside her, and embraced her.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset with you," she sob quietly, "I'm upset with myself. I thought I'd driven you away by being so pushy this afternoon."

"Oh Bella," I softly said, "I was late because Esme wanted to talk to me. I never meant to be late, but when I finally realized what time it was, it was already after ten. I got here as fast as I could." I held her closer.

"If I upset you Edward, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry I doubted that you would come. I need to have more trust in you, but sometimes I'm afraid you'll decide you've had enough of me and my temper and you'll just leave and never return. I couldn't stand knowing I'd driven you away." She nestled her face into my neck, and I heard her breathe deeply.

"Bella, I promised you I'd stay with for as long as you wanted, and that I wouldn't leave you. You have to trust that I will keep my word." She was so close; she smelt so tempting, so I kissed her neck, which made her hold me tighter.

"If you left me Edward, I don't think I'd have any desire to live. I'd be so lost without you." A small sob escaped her.

"I won't let that happen." I gently lay down in the bed with my arms still wrapped around her. "You need to sleep Bella. It's been a long day."

"Edward, I'll always want you, forever." Those were her last words before she drifted into a deep sleep.

As I looked down on her sleeping form, I realized Esme was right. I would have to decide. If I changed her, I would have to do it in the next few years because even though I wouldn't care how old Bella was, her age would make a difference to her. I had no desire to lose Bella or give her up, but I was also extremely reluctant to condemn her to my existence. I had much to ponder as the night wore on and Bella slept peacefully in my arms.

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If you enjoyed this at all, please let me know by reviewing.

Thanks.

23


	7. May Day Bella

_AN: Once again, I do not own Twilight or it various characters. They all originated in the inventive mind of Stephenie Meyer._

_On a personal note, is a beta an editor of stories, and if so how does one get a beta. I had a family member editing my work, but she says I'm to obsessed with these characters, so I'm looking form someone to proof read my work before I post it. Thanks._

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May Day - Bella

The first thing I noticed that morning was something bothering my ear and then my neck. My first thought was a bug of some type so I think I tried to brush it away with my hand, but then I felt a hard body against my back and realized Edward had returned to bed with me. I didn't think he was aware of the fact, but I always noticed when he left because there would be a slight shifting of the bed, but, more than that, I sensed a loss of comfort and security.

As he continued to kiss my neck, I felt pleasant surges coursing through my body, and they made me extremely aware of how close our bodies were. I enjoyed the closeness, so I rolled over, wrapped my arms around his neck, and moved my head against his shoulder by his neck and asked, "Are you trying to get me in trouble?"

In a velvety voice he replied, "What do you mean, exactly?"

"I mean this." Without realizing I was going to do it, I passionately kissed him on the lips. It was a kiss that would have caused me to blush if I had been fully awake, but I wasn't even sure if I really kissed him or if I dreamed it. Either way, the kissed caused other sensations in my body,

Edward finally broke the contact. "Isabella Marie, are you awake or is this how you act when sleeping."

I recognized the fact that Edward has asked me if I was doing something in my sleep, but I felt so at peace that I just snuggled closer and asked, "What did I do?"

"Bella, that kiss could have lead somewhere inappropriate for many reasons. Usually you have better control of your emotions."

It was how I dreamt of kissing him every night. I noticed he didn't sound upset, but it also meant I really did kiss him, if I was truly awake.

"Maybe," I began, still wondering about my sleep verses waking state, "I'm less controlled because I'm mostly asleep. I could be dreaming this, and if so, then there is no danger in my dreams. If this is really happening, then maybe you should wake me up before I do something extremely embarrassing. Am I still asleep?"

"Yes," he whispered in my ear. Then he added, "Bella, can you please wake up now."

"Is it time for school already?" Maybe this was really a dream. If so, I could cuddle closer to him without worry.

"No, not quit, but it is time for one of us to get up." I heard him chuckle.

"I'm comfortable. I feel safe and secure. Do I really need to get up?" Still debating whether this was a dream or not, I decided to kiss his neck since it was so close to my lips. "If you really say I must get up," I whispered between kisses, "then I guess I'd better wake up."

He whispered very softly, "I love you Isabella Marie."

"What did you say?" Now I had to wake up; I had to know if he really called me what I thought he called me.

"I said I love you," he chuckled but didn't answer my question.

"No, after that?" He could be so frustrating when he chose to be.

In a deep husky voice he repeated, "Isabella Marie."

"You listened," I was shocked. How could he do that to me? I specifically asked him not to listen. I was angry and hurt at the same time.

"No," he kissed the tip of my noise. "Alice heard."

"Everything?" Had Alice heard everything I told mom? I tried to push away from him but he wouldn't release me.

"No, only enough to know your mother was mad because she used both your names like Esme does when she gets upset with one of us. I figured it was mother thing. I guess I figured right. Was she very upset?"

"At first, but she understands a little now, but only a very little." I stopped trying to get away from him and paused to wonder what Esme called him, so I asked, "What does Esme call you when she is upset."

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

I had to let that roll around on my tongue a little and finally decided I liked his name. I had always liked Edward, but Edward Anthony was even better. _Edward Anthony and Isabella Marie. I like it,_ I thought.

"What are you thinking?"

"Edward Anthony and Isabella Marie," I replied softly. "They sound right together. I never thought I would like my name, but together they seem to fit." Then I had to ask, "And what are you thinking?"

I wasn't sure if he would answer, but I was very pleased when he did. "That I thought the same thing last night. The names do fit together well."

I suddenly felt a sharp pulling in my foot, and I couldn't straighten out my toes. "Edward, let me get up. My foot hurts." I knew I had to get up.

"Hurts how?" He was concerned and released me so I could sit up.

"I think my toes are cramping." As I sat up, I swung my legs off the bed. The movement caused another spasm of pain in my toes.

He quickly came around the bed, knelt down by my feet and began massaging my toes.

I was rather concerned so I asked, "Is this supposed to happen? Is it normal?"

"It can happen, but usually not because of the break. More because the muscles in your legs haven't had much exercise, and it might have been caused by you rolling over in bed to cuddle next to me."

I felt a blush rising up into my cheeks. All I could think was, _Did I do something inappropriate?_ Then I noticed he was smiling. "You did that intentionally." I accused him.

"Did what?" He smiled innocently, but I knew he wasn't.

"Made that comment. You wanted me to blush."

"I love your blush."

"Why?" It embarrassed me to blush and yet he likes to see it. I couldn't understand why he liked seeing me embarrassed.

"It's so human."

"But it's embarrassing, and it angers me that I embarrass so easily."

"Why?"

I had to think for moment before finding a reply. Edward gave me that look as if he was expecting me to edit my answer, but I wasn't editing. Instead, I was trying to understand why I felt the way I did. "I think it is because I feel humiliated. When you make me blush, I sometimes wonder if you're trying to humiliate me, and if that's not the reason, then there must be more than just the fact that I turn red." I gazed at him in expectation of an answer.

"I would never desire to humiliate you, and I never realized you felt that way." He stopped rubbing my foot and looked up in shock. "Bella, I don't like to see you blush because you're humiliated. I like your blush because it brings color into you pale skin and it heightens your aroma. I think you look more beautiful when you blush."

"Oh." I felt myself blush even more, but could think of no other reply. It was odd to hear anyone except my parents tell me I was pretty, let alone beautiful, and especially coming from someone as beautiful as Edward was.

"Come on," he stood up and reached for my hands. "I have something for you." He helped me stand up, walked over to my dresser, pick up a gorgeous red flower, and place it in my hands.

"Oh, Edward. It's lovely." It smelt heavenly. "It's an orchid isn't it?" Those were expensive.

"Yes. Alice said it should sit on you dresser in a bowl of water, so she bought you a bowl."

I hobbled over to the dresser to look at the water-filled bowl. "It's beautiful. It's crystal isn't it?" Mom once told me if it rang when you pinged it with your finger, it was crystal so I pinged it. It was crystal. Why did he insist on buying such expensive gifts?

"Alice almost never buys anything that will depreciate over time, and I've learned never to argue with Alice when she's shopping."

I wasn't sure whether to believe him.

"I'm not lying, Bella. Alice is very serious about shopping, and she brooks no arguments from anybody. Even Carlisle has learned not to argue with her about her purchases. So are you going to put it in the bowl? It's too pretty to let it whither."

I asked myself why he would lie. It seemed self-defeating to lie about something like this. I looked down at the flower; it was so beautiful and delicate. It reminded me of Edward's beauty so I carefully placed the flower in the bowl. I knew it would last, but I hoped it wasn't a reflection of Edward's love for me – beautiful for a time before it wilted and died.

"What are you thinking?"

I couldn't tell him that. I knew I promised to tell him everything I thought, but I didn't want him to know I was still afraid his love for me was only temporary. So I came up with another thought before looking at him. "Why is Alice buying me a gift and such an expensive one at that?"

"Well, she wasn't really. She bought it for me to give to you, so really she bought it for me because I would have just let the flower whither and die on you dresser."

_Really,_ I thought. _Why would Alice do that?_

"Bella, I'm new at this. I'm not use to buying presents for my girlfriend. Alice was just trying to help. In fact, Alice always tries to help."

I couldn't understand why Alice would take the trouble to help Edward do something for me. I liked Alice. But what was I to her? She had done so much since the incident with James; I continued to wonder why Alice was being so nice to me. Was it because of Edward, or because she really liked me?

"What's bothering you Bella?"

"I'm not sure. I just feel overwhelmed. The flower, the crystal bowl, the prom dress and shoes, they're all too much. You and your family shouldn't be spending money on me. Not to mention what I cost your family because of Phoenix and the trip there and back. Edward, I can't pay you back. I'll never have that kind of money." Okay, so I didn't tell him the exact truth, but it also bothered me that he and his family spent money on me.

Edward embraced me and kissed my forehead. "Bella, you've already paid me back. The fact that you love me is more than enough for me. For Esme, the fact that you accept us, and you're willing to be around us is something she'll always cherish because no human has ever treated any of us the way you treat us. It's almost like being normal rather than something monstrous and unnatural." His eyes captured mine and I couldn't escape them. "Bella, nobody expects you to 'pay us back.' A thank you would be nice, but nothing else is necessary."

I felt I could lose myself in his gaze; there was so much to see in his ocher eyes. His love, his desire, and his trust – I felt guilty about not being completely honest with him. I just loved him so much that my heart ached. I needed to thank him, not only for the flower and bowl but also for everything, so I gently kissed his lips and said softly and sincerely, "Thank you Edward."

Edward surprised me by sweeping me up into his arms and kissing me with such passion that it astounded me. Then he sat me down in the rocking chair. "If this keeps up, we'll be late for school. Wait here; I'll wrap your cast so you can get ready."

Edward found the plastic, wrapped the cast, and said I had one hour before he'd return with the Volvo.

Edward gave me one hour to get ready and I decided that this morning I would be outside waiting before he arrived. I did everything as quickly as possible, but I couldn't speed up the trip downstairs. To compensate for the time lost, I decided I'd skip breakfast, and as a result, I was at the front of the door waiting for him when he arrived. I was so proud of myself.

We arrived at school in plenty of time because of Edward's driving, and I saw Emmett waiting for us in the parking lot.

As soon as we were out of the car and walking toward the school, he joined us.

"I need help." He pleaded.

"What kind of help?" Edward inquired.

"You can't help Edward. I need Bella's help." He smiled at me. "Rose is mad and it's all Edward's fault," and he glared at Edward.

"What did I do?" Edward requested.

I could see Edward was searching Emmett's mind for the answer.

Emmett looked directly at me. "Edward already knows he peeked. Anyway, Rose is mad at me because Edward got you flowers and I didn't get her anything. Now, I can't get her flowers because she'll just think I'm trying to placate her, which would probably be true. So, I need to do something else for her and I thought maybe you could help me with an idea."

Why was he asking me? Rosalie disliked me, how could I know what would make her happy. I felt inadequate to answer so I avert my gaze away from Emmett and saw Alice watching us. "Why didn't you ask Alice?"

Edward chuckled at my question.

"It's not allowed. Anytime there's a fight in the family, Alice is off limits for help because of what she can do. We can ask anyone else for help, but not Alice. Alice can only tell us if an idea will work or not; that's the family rule."

"Oh." Now what was I going to do. I decided I needed to put myself in Rosalie's place. If I were her, what would I like? Edward once told me she liked to be the center of attention and she liked flashy things. Well, a car was out, even though she liked to tinker with them. What else had Edward told me about Rosalie? I tried to recall the few conversations when she was mentioned, and then it dawned on me.

I smiled at Emmett and said, "Edward mention that there might be a wedding soon. Have you proposed to Rosalie lately?"

"No." Emmett looked confused.

"Well, are you going to marry Rosalie anytime soon?"

"Actually, we had talked about this summer, but what does that have to do with the problem I have now?"

"Well, you could propose to her at lunch." I suggested.

"Hey, that could work." Emmett brightened up and looked toward Alice who just smiled back.

Then I had another thought. "Have you purchased an engagement ring yet?"

"No, maybe I should." He looked over at Alice and quickly asked her. Alice's reply must have been what Emmett wanted to hear. "Bella, you're fantastic."

To my surprise, Emmett kissed me. All I could think was I hoped Rosalie wasn't anywhere near to see him kissing me.

Edward wasn't pleased for he let out a low growl.

Emmett just looked at Edward and said, "Well, if you'd make her my little sister, then I could do this."

I was totally unprepared for Emmett's next kiss right on my lips. I was so embarrassed; I felt the blood instantly rushing up to my face. What could I say? So I weakly replied, "Thanks, Emmett." I instantly wanted to take it back because I was afraid he would think I was thanking him for the kiss. Emmett's kiss would never match Edwards's; there was no comparison.

"Can I borrow Edward for the morning?"

I just stared at him. Why was he asking me? Even Edward's face reflected surprise.

"Well, I can't take Rosalie's car, and I don't think you'll let me drive yours," he explained.

Well, if he really wanted my permission, I'd give it. "Sure, but have him back by lunch." I turned with a smile, and kissed Edward on the lips. "I'll see you at lunch, and help him find a really nice ring," I added. I really hoped this worked.

Edward smiled back and said, "I will."

I noticed Edward looking at Alice, and his lips were quickly moving. I only caught bits of what he said, like 'take care' and 'don't happen,' which I interpreted as 'don't let Bella hurt herself.' I figured Alice answered him non-verbally.

Edward kissed my lips before saying. "I will see you at lunch." He gave a low chuckle and added, "Please stay out of trouble."

Then Emmett and Edward walked to the car and left.

Edward wasn't gone for more than a minute. I was becoming attached to the idea that he would always be around – near enough to touch. Knowing he would be gone until lunch left an empty feeling inside of me. Without realizing it, Alice must have walked over to me because I felt her arm around my shoulder gently turning me around to face the school. "Come on," she began, "I'll walk you to class."

I felt like a little child on the first day of school whose mom had just left them standing alone with a group of strangers. "Thanks Alice." At least there was one person around who I felt comfortable being around.

All through English, I toyed with the thought about being surrounded by strangers. I knew everyone in my class and was on speaking terms with most of them, but I felt no real connection to any of them, at least not like the connection I felt toward Edward and his family except Rosalie of course. It was odd, when I first came to Forks, I'd never imaged I'd feel like I would fit in anywhere, but with the Cullen's I felt like I belonged. For the first time in my life, I didn't feel like an outsider, and I discovered I liked the feeling of belonging.

As I prepared to exit the English classroom, I found myself surrounded by Mike and Eric. They were both vying for my attention. Actually, it was rather embarrassing.

"Bella," Mike began. "You looked really pretty at the dance. That dress was something else."

_I bet it was_, I thought. I knew how I looked in it, and I felt all the boys' eyes on me as if I was a piece of merchandise up at auction and all of them wanted to bid on me. It was a beautiful dress, but I felt underdressed in it because of all the stares. Since I couldn't say any of what I was thinking, I just answered, "Thanks."

"Yah, Bella, you really looked nice," Eric piped in.

Once again, I just said, "Thanks," but I was thinking, _Edward, where are you when I need you to get me out of here_. As if in answer to my plea, I walked out the classroom door to find Alice and Jasper waiting for me. I wondered if this had something to do with what Edwards had said to Alice before he left.

"If you don't mind, I'd like a word with my little sis," Jasper told Mike and Eric.

I felt relieved and grateful. I looked up at Jasper with a smile. "Thanks.'

He replied, "Your welcome. Come on, Alice and I will escort you to your next class. Maybe that'll help keep away your admires."

I laughed. "It's Alice's fault." I smiled over at Alice.

"How so?" she inquired.

"The dress you put me in. It revealed a little too much to the onlookers."

"Bella, it was perfect, and Edward loved it." Jasper offered, "He especially loved it because it was on you. If it had been Alice or Rosalie wearing it, he probably wouldn't have noticed it. Besides, you weren't the only one being ogled by the male population at the dance. I noticed Alice and Rosalie had their share of stares." Jasper smiled at Alice and then turned back to me. "Let's not tell Edward about Mike and Eric's comments. He'd be offended that they said pretty and nice."

"Why? I thought he liked the dress on me."

"He did," Alice replied, "but it's the adjectives 'nice' and 'pretty' he would object to. Bella, to describe you they should have used words like 'beautiful,' 'gorgeous,' or 'ravishing.' Anything else is really an insult to you."

I was astonished at her comment. I knew I looked nice because of Alice's handiwork, but ravishing that was a term I would have used for only Alice and Rosalie.

As we arrived at my next class, Jasper put his hand on my shoulder and said, "We'll be waiting for you after class is over."

"Thanks." I went into the class thinking how much I appreciated both of them. They made me feel like part of the family. I also appreciated being saved from Mike and Eric's prattle. They were nice boys, but I found nothing in either of them that would attract me to them in anyway but friendship, and sometimes they could say things that even jeopardize that type of relationship.

For the rest of the morning, I had an escort to every class. It was becoming obvious to the school that I had become part of the Cullen party. I'd overheard a few whispers by other students remarking on the new addition that the Cullen's had allowed into their tight little circle. It gave me a warm feeling inside to know I actually belonged somewhere. No longer did I feel like an outsider. Alice and Jasper's willingness to keep an eye on me while Edward was absent was very encouraging and comforting; it made me feel like a part of their family. As Spanish class was ending, I began to wonder if I would find Alice and Jasper waiting outside the door or Edward. I was hoping it would be Edward at the door, not that I didn't enjoy Alice and Jasper's company, but I was really missing Edward. I wanted to see him and touch him. Wow, I knew I had it bad, but his was the one face I was longing to see.

After the bell rang, I hobbled out the door. As I did, Edward slipped his arm around my waist. "I told you I'd be back in time for lunch."

I smiled at him. "I didn't doubt it," which wasn't completely true, "but why have Alice and Jasper been so conspicuously protective?" Not that I didn't appreciate their gestures, because I did, but I wonder if there was some other reason which nobody wanted to mention.

"Rosalie heard Emmett kissed you. She's not happy." Edward commented as he led me to the cafeteria.

Inwardly I groan. Wasn't it bad enough she didn't like me on a regular basis. "But there wasn't anything in it. I mean, it was all very brotherly. Of course, you did growl at him." I couldn't help but laugh when I remembered the look on his face.

"Yes I did, but then you turned a beet red and I knew the kiss meant nothing to you. Here, a little something for you for May Day." He showed me a beautiful wrist corsage decorated with red flowers.

"Edward, you already gave me an orchid." I looked at him and smiled. "Are you trying to spoil me? And what's May Day?"

"I'm not trying to spoil you; I'm just showing you how much I love you, and May Day is a celebration of spring, so I decided I'd give you flowers."

The flowers were a deep red. He took my hand to place the corsage on my wrist.

"Not that one," I said as I pulled away my hand. I didn't want it on my scarred hand; I was very conscious of that scare and didn't want to bring attention to it in any way, so I extended my other hand, "This one," I offered.

He looked at me questioningly.

"I don't want anyone noticing the scar," I added quietly.

"Oh." He smiled and gently placed the corsage on my offered wrist.

"Thank you, they are lovely, but you have to stop."

"Why?"

"I feel funny having you spend money on me. I'm not use to this kind of attention." I was only just becoming accustomed to having a boyfriend.

"Bella, would you take my pleasure away. It pleases me to give you things, and none of it has cost very much."

I didn't want to take any pleasure away from him, but why did his pleasure come at so high a price. "Come on Edward, what did the orchid cost? I know their expensive, and the crystal bowl. It's too much. Promise me you won't buy me anything else expensive." I gazed up into his eyes.

"Bella, I don't know if I can do that. What if I see something I know you'll just love? What if it whispers, 'buy me for Bella'?"

I glared at him for that ridiculous comment.

"Okay, how about I promise to try, but if I slip you'll forgive me." A crooked smile spread across his face.

I looked deep into his eyes to see if he was trying to dazzle me into submission, but I didn't feel like I was being dazzled this time; instead, I saw love sparkling in his eyes. "Okay, but only if you promise to really try, and if I decide it's too expensive, you agree to take it back."

He paused a moment before replying. "Okay, it's a deal. Now, let's not be late for the big proposal."

"Are you sure I should be there? If Rosalie is that upset, maybe I should sit somewhere else today."

"No, this is a family event and I want you there as part of the family."

I couldn't help but blush at his comment.

With his eyes fixed on mine, he tipped my chin up and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Let go," and then he propelled me to the cafeteria.

As we entered, I saw Emmett and Rosalie in the midst of a heated debate, but I wasn't able to hear their conversation.

As we drew closer, I heard Rosalie saying, "Why does Edward need her permission to do anything. He's a big boy; he can do as he pleases." Her tone implies she was upset.

Edward interrupted, "Because I said he had to ask her permission, and if I choose not to leave Bella alone with no help while her leg's in a cast, then that too is my business. Emmett's right, it was a friendly kiss, or he wouldn't be here right now. If I don't object, than neither should you."

Edward helped me into the chair next to Alice and then sat next to me.

"Well I do. I don't want other females going around kissing my husband." She sneered under her breath.

"Rose, she didn't kiss me; I kissed her, and besides, it's no different than me kissing Alice. It was just a sisterly kiss." Emmett added.

Rosalie lashed out and said, "But Alice is family; Bella isn't."

I felt as if I had been slapped in the face. I had to leave before burst into tears in front of them. I got up and hobbled toward the exit. I wished I could make a graceful exit like Alice, but knew I was doomed to an ungraceful one.

As I got outside, I heard soft footfalls behind me, too light to be Edward I knew.

"Bella," Alice said softly, "Don't take her comment personally. Rosalie is being irrational. She always is when she feels threatened."

"Threatened by who?" I inquired, tears streaming down my check.

"You of course." Alice reached out and wiped the tears from my face.

"Me?" I was totally shocked. How could anyone so gorgeous feel threatened by someone like me? "Compared to Rosalie, I'm insignificant. How could she ever think I'd be a threat to her?"

"Bella, Rosalie may be beautiful, but she still feels threatened by you. It's hard to explain, but her first fear was that you would reveal what we were, and now, well, maybe one day she'll feel open enough to share that with you. Until then, just realize that Rosalie doesn't feel very secure in your presence." Alice smiled trying to reassure me.

I still felt out of place. Earlier in the day, I had felt so much like a part of the family, but with Rosalie's rejection, I once again felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I so much wanted to be a part of Edward's family. I wanted them all to except me, but I knew that was no longer a possibility.

Alice must have seen the doubt in my face. "Look, no matter what Rosalie says or feels, you are a member of my family. With the exception of Rosalie, all of us feel that way, even Emmett. He continually talks about you like a little sister. Edward has brought you into the family, and one day he will make it permanent." Alice looked around, and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Edward forbade me to discuss this, but I still see you as one of us; an equal. Edward is fighting it now, but it hasn't changed the vision." She smiled, put her finger to her lips, and added, "Don't tell Edward I said that."

"Thanks Alice. I once told Edward I wouldn't bet against you. I really hope you're right. More than anything, it is what I want."

"Come on. Let's dry your tears and rejoin the family. Emmett won't propose until we return and Rosalie apologizes for what she said." After helping me dry my tears, she took my arm and lead me back inside.

I watched the family as we approached. Jasper and Emmett smiled at both of us, Rosalie fixed her gaze on the table, and Edward looked questioningly at Alice and then got up and helped me back into my chair before sitting down next to me again.

Rosalie raised her chin a little, looked at me, and said, "I'm sorry Bella. It wasn't your fault." I peaked over and noticed Edward glaring at her. Rosalie continued, "I realize it was Edward's fault Emmett kissed you."

I think my mouth dropped open; I was so stunned by her comment.

"What?" Emmett and Edward said in unison.

Rosalie just looked around at the shock on everyone's face. I knew Edward was upset, so I took a hold of his hand under the table.

Rosalie retorted, "Why are you staring at me? I apologized. I admitted it was Emmett's fault not Bella's."

Emmett laid his hand on Rosalie's and replied, "No, Rose, you didn't. You said it was Edward's fault."

Rosalie looked at Edward and he nodded.

"It must have been a Freudian slip. Sorry," she replied quietly.

Edward's eyes fixed on Rosalie and he seemed to be concentrating. It dawned on me that he was reading her thoughts I could only wonder what thoughts he found. Edward then looked at Emmett.

Finally, Emmett told Rosalie, "Well, you did apologize."

Rosalie smiled at him.

I saw Emmett look at Edward, and Edward nodded his head slightly. I figure Emmett had asked him something, and that was Edward's reply.

Emmett then turned to Rosalie. "Rose, we've talked about our plans for this summer, and I have decided I'd like to make this official." He got up from the chair, then went down on one knee, took Rosalie's hand and asked, "Will you marry me, again?" Into her hand, he placed a red velvet box.

Rosalie very quietly replied, "Yes." Then she opened the box and pulled out her ring. Emmett took it from her and placed it on her finger. I notice the cafeteria was quiet. I wondered what thoughts were rushing through the minds of the other students present.

I heard Edward give a soft laugh before he said, "The bells about to ring."

Edward helped me up and we walked hand in hand to class. On the way, he leaned over and said, "Ostentatious."

I wasn't sure what he meant. I just gave him a blank stare.

"The ring, it's ostentatious, just like her car."

"Oh." I softly replied. I was still thinking about what Alice had told me, and examining my feelings about not quite belonging in the family yet. Until Edward agreed to change me, or let Carlisle change me, I didn't think I'd ever completely feel like one of the family. I'd continue to be someone on the outside looking in and longing to be a part of Edwards's family.

I must have been too quiet for Edward asked, "Are you okay?"

I didn't want him to worry, so I replied, "Yes, I'm fine. Alice and I had a nice talk." I remembered that I had promised him I would tell him everything I was thinking, so, to be honest with him, I added, "I'll be okay; I just have to get use to the fact that Rosalie will never like me or accept me."

"Does it matter that much to you?" His tone held concern.

"Yes, it does." Once again, I didn't want to lie to Edward. I wanted to build our relationship on honesty. "If I'm ever to really feel like one of your family, then I need to know that everyone accepts me as a member. That'll never happen with Rosalie, and I've tried so hard to be nice to her but it hasn't worked. I'm doomed to be an outsider." I hadn't meant it to, but my voice betrayed me and broke.

"Come on, we're ditching class." He took my arm and led me away from school and toward the parking lot. I had no idea where we were going.

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	8. May Day Edward

AN: Thank you to Angel6582 for agreeing to be a beta reader for my story. Once again, I claim no credit for these amazing character. They are the creation of Stephenie Meyer. Thanks Stephenie.

_Hope everyone enjoys Edwards PoV._

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May Day - Edward

My family made fun of me for staying with Bella at night and watching her sleep especially Jasper and Emmett who couldn't understand what I found so entertaining, but what they didn't understand was that as Bella slept, I had uninterrupted time to think. Only at Bella's house did I find the peace to think without other minds invading mine. I'd forgotten how quiet night could be when everyone around you was sleeping. It was no different on this particular evening. I had time to think about all Bella and I had discussed. At one point, I thought if I'd stayed in Alaska until Bella went to college, then I wouldn't have interrupted her life. Just as quickly as the thought entered my mind, it was replaced with her comment that if I hadn't entered her life, she'd be dead. She was right. Had I stayed in Alaska, Bella would now be buried under six feet of dirt. That thought alone would have caused me to have chills if my skin wasn't already deathly cold, but the thought also hurt me knowing I'd never have experienced love with the only special person who's ever entered my life.

At that point in my thinking, I decided to alter my train of thought and plan for Monday. I knew it was May and I remembered how in some areas of the country the first day of May was a minor celebration of the beginning of spring. People would usually give flowers to someone special on that day as a way to celebrate. I planned on making Monday Bella's May Day, and I had already chosen what I was giving her; although I didn't know if she ever heard of May Day, and if not this would be something new we could experience together since I had never paid much attention to this special day in the past. I knew that the tradition of May Day was to leave a basket of flowers on a person's doorstep, but I had decided it would be more fun to present the flowers I'd chosen for Bella at different times throughout the day. I figured I would offer her the first one when she woke up, so after Bella had passed out of her nightly sleep talking stage, I rushed home to gather up her first May Day gift. All that remained was for her to wake up.

I sat in the rocking chair for sometime after returning, but slipped into her bed around five so I could feel her soft warm form next to me. Around six, I became impatient for her to wake up and decided I would kiss her ear and then her neck to see what reaction I would get. At first, she used her hand to brush me away as if I was a pest bothering her. Then, as I continued kissing her neck, she began to sigh softly, but a deep throaty sigh of pleasure. Finally, she rolled over, faced me with closed eyes, and wrapped her arms around my neck. She then nestled her head against my neck and whispered, "Are you trying to get me in trouble?"

I thought it was a tempting idea, but wanted to clarify what trouble was to her. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"I mean this," she whispered just before she locked her lips on mine.

Bella's passion clouded my mind for a moment, but I quickly regained control of my emotions and broke our connection. "Isabella Marie, are you awake or is this how you act when you're sleeping?" I decided to use her full name just to see how it sounded. I found I really like it but decided it should be saved for special occasions.

Bella just snuggled up to me and replied, "What did I do?"

"Bella, that kiss could have lead somewhere inappropriate for many reasons. Usually you have better control of your emotions." It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it; I just enjoyed it too much.

"Maybe," she began, "I'm less controlled because I'm mostly asleep. I could be dreaming this, and if so, then there is no danger in my dreams. If this is really happening, then maybe you should wake me up before I do something extremely embarrassing. Am I still asleep?"

"Yes," I whispered in her ear. I wouldn't remind her of the kiss she had just given me, but I would cherish it forever. "Bella, can you please wake up now?"

"Is it time for school already?"

I wouldn't have thought she could get any closer to me, but she did. Enough so that her body's every curve became noticeable to my own body.

I had once told Bella that despite the fact that I wasn't human, I was still a man, and her nearness made that extremely evident to me. It was time to wake Bella up so something inappropriate didn't occur.

"No, not quite, but it is time for one of us to get up." I chucked wondering if she was as aware of me as much as I was aware of her, or if in her sleep she wasn't aware of how close we really were.

"I'm comfortable. I feel safe and secure. Do I really need to get up?"

I don't think I'll ever fully comprehend how Bella could feel safe around me the one person who lusted hungrily after her blood, and now her body.

Her head was resting against my shoulder and she leaned in and began kissing my neck. "If you really say I must get up," she whispered as she kissed, "then I guess I'd better wake up."

I whispered very softly into her hair, "I love you Isabella Marie."

Okay, that woke her up, for her next words, in a rather shocked tone, were, "What did you say?"

"I said I love you." I chuckled, waiting for more of a question.

"No, after that?"

She hadn't disappointed me; I knew she would ask, so I chuckled again and replied in a deep husky voice, "Isabella Marie."

"You listened," she accused.

"No," I kissed the tip of her nose. "Alice heard."

"Everything?" She sounded shocked, and began to push away from me, but I wouldn't release my hold on her.

"No, only enough to know your mother was mad because she used both your names like Esme does when she gets upset with one of us. I figured it was mother thing. I guess I figured right. Was she very upset?" I had waited all night to ask her about the phone call to her mom.

"At first, but she understands a little now, but only a very little." She stopped trying to push away, so I figured she wasn't upset anymore. Then, in her Bella like fashion, she totally surprised my by asking, "What does Esme call you when she's upset."

I guess if I knew her full name, it was only fair to tell her mine. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

Bella became quiet. So I asked, "What are you thinking?"

"Edward Anthony and Isabella Marie," she replied softly. "They sound right together. I never thought I would like my name, but together they seem to fit. And, what are you thinking?"

It was fair of her to ask and I was willing to share, "That I thought the same thing last night. The names do fit together well."

Bella started pushing away from me again. "Edward, let me get up. My foot hurts." She sounded like she was in pain.

I released her and asked, "Hurts how?"

"I think my toes are cramping." She sat up and swung her legs off the bed. Her back was to me so I couldn't see her face.

I quickly went around the bed to look at her foot. Her toes were curled under and a pained expression spread across her face. I knelt down and massaged her toes.

"Is this supposed to happen? Is it normal?" She sounded concerned.

"It can happen, but usually not because of the break. More because the muscles in your legs haven't had much exercise, and it might have been caused by you rolling over in bed to cuddle next to me." I knew that would bring a blush to her cheeks.

"You did that intentionally." She accused.

"Did what?" I decided to pretend I didn't know what she meant. Maybe she would blush again.

"Made that comment. You wanted me to blush."

"I love your blush." That was the absolute truth. Her skin color heightened as did her scent when she blushed. She looked so lovely when she blushed.

"Why?"

"It's so human." Alice never blushed, and I doubted anything could make Rosalie blush even if she were capable of it.

"But it's embarrassing, and it angers me that I embarrass so easily."

"Why?" Why would blushing make her angry? It was a natural reaction and showed her innocence in a world were so little innocence remained.

She furrowed her brow. Was she holding back her answer? Was she deciding how much she would tell me? I kept reaching out for her thoughts, but as always, they were unreachable for me.

"I think it is because I feel humiliated. When you make me blush, I sometimes wonder if you're trying to humiliate me, and if that's not the reason, then there must be more to your reasoning than just the fact that I turn red."

"I would never desire to humiliate you, and I never realized you felt that way." I stopped rubbing her foot and looked up in shock. Her eyes fixed on mine searching for an answer. "Bella, I don't like your blush because you're humiliated. I like your blush because it brings color into you pale skin and it heightens your aroma. I think you look even more beautiful when you blush."

"Oh." I saw surprise in her lovely glistening eyes.

"Come on," I said as I stood up and reached for her hands. I decided now was the perfect time to give her my first floral gift. "I have something for you." I pulled her into a standing position, walked over to her dresser, picked up the flower I had bought, and handed it to her.

"Oh, Edward. It's lovely." She smiled and smelled the flower. "It's an orchid isn't it?"

"Yes. Alice said it should sit on your dresser in a bowl of water, so she bought you a bowl."

Bella hobbled over to the dresser to look at the water-filled bowl. "It's beautiful. It's crystal isn't it?" and she pinged her finger on it.

"Alice almost never buys anything that will depreciate over time," I saw a grimace appearing on Bella's face. She was going to protest the gift so I hurriedly added, "And I've learned never to argue with Alice when she's shopping." I smiled as she just looked disbelievingly at me. "I'm not lying, Bella. Alice is very serious about shopping, and she brooks no arguments from anybody. Even Carlisle has learned not to argue with her about her purchases." I really was telling Bella the truth, but from the look on her face, I couldn't tell if she believed me, but why would she think I would lie to her about something like this; besides, it was only a bowl. To change the subject, I walked over to Bella and asked, "So are you going to put it in the bowl? It's too pretty to let it whither."

She still looked hesitant, like by putting the flower in the bowl she was excepting the gift, which didn't matter because I didn't intend to take it back and neither did Alice. Finally, Bella carefully placed the flower in the bowl, but I was still puzzled by her look and her reaction, so I asked my standard question. "What are you thinking?"

Bella turned and looked at me. "Why is Alice buying me a gift and such an expensive one at that?"

"Well, she wasn't really. She bought it for me to give to you, so really she bought it for me because I would have just let the flower whither and die on your dresser."

She gave me a skeptical look.

"Bella, I'm new at this. I'm not use to buying presents for my girlfriend. Alice was just trying to help. In fact, Alice always tries to help." I felt like I wasn't sure what Bella was asking, and definitely not sure what she was thinking. I felt at a total loss for words. "What is bothering you Bella?"

"I'm not sure. I just feel overwhelmed. The flower, the crystal bowl, the prom dress and shoes, they're all too much. You and your family shouldn't be spending money on me. Not to mention what I cost your family because of Phoenix and the trip there and back. Edward, I can't pay you back. I'll never have that kind of money."

I embraced Bella and kissed her forehead. "Bella, you've already paid me back. The fact that you love me is more than enough for me. For Esme, the fact that you accept us, and you're willing to be around us is something she'll always cherish because no human has ever treated any of us the way you treat us. It's almost like being normal rather than something monstrous and unnatural." I looked into Bella's deep brown eyes. "Bella, nobody expects you to 'pay us back.' A thank you would be nice, but nothing else is necessary." I had hoped she knew that what I did for her came from my heart and not from a desire to gain something in return. She already did the most wonderful thing for me I could ever ask; she loved me.

The whole time, Bella just watched my eyes. No, she searched my eyes, but looking for what, I wondered. Then she reached up and gently kissed me on the lips. "Thank you Edward," she replied softly.

It took me by surprise. Those three simple words held so much love that I swept Bella up into my arms and returned her gentle passionate kiss. Then I sat her down in the rocking chair. "If this keeps up, we'll be late for school. Wait here; I'll wrap your cast so you can get ready."

It took me a few minutes to retrieve the plastic wrap and then wrap the cast, but after I was finished, I told her she had one hour before I would be out in the drive waiting to take her to school.

I rushed home to change clothes and stopped to see Carlisle before driving back to Bella's house.

"And to what do I owe this pleasant visit?" Carlisle asked as I walked into his office.

"Bella's foot was cramping this morning. Is that an indication of anything to be concerned about?" I hadn't mentioned my concern to Bella because I knew I could talk to Carlisle about it first.

"Edward, how often do you carry Bella around?" He smiled at me as he asked his question.

"Maybe more than I should." I felt like a child who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"There's your answer. Let her walk on that leg, the muscles need the exercise. It needs to build up some strength before the cast comes off in a few weeks."

"Three, it comes off in three weeks." I smiled. Carlisle arched his eyebrow as he looked at me. "Bella is counting the days, and she constantly reminds me how long is left."

"Oh." That was his only reply. "Aren't you going to be late for school?"

I chuckled. "Not the way I drive, and thanks." With that, I turned and left.

When I reached Bella's driveway, she was already at the front door waiting for me. That was a first; usually I sat in the car and waited for her. Either I was getting slower or she was getting faster. We arrived at school in plenty of time. In fact, Emmett was by the parking lot waiting for us, and his thoughts gave away his impatience.

As soon as we were out of the car and walking toward the school, he joined us.

"I need help." He pleaded.

"What kind of help?" I was searching his mind for his problem. I didn't need to look far, Rosalie was mad at him, and he didn't want my help but Bella's.

"You can't help Edward. I need Bella's help." He smiled at her. "Rose is mad and it's all Edward's fault," he glared at me.

"What did I do?" I searched some more. I hadn't done or said much of anything to Rosalie lately. I couldn't believe what I found. She was mad because I bought Bella flowers. That was so childish; no, so Rosalie, I thought.

Emmett looked directly at Bella. "Edward already knows he peeked. Anyway, Rose is mad at me because Edward got you flowers and I didn't get her anything. Now, I can't get her flowers because she'll just think I'm trying to placate her, which would probably be true. So, I need to do something else for her and I thought maybe you could help me with an idea."

Bella just stared at him with a blank look on her face. Then she looked off to the side and saw Alice watching us. "Why didn't you ask Alice?"

I chuckled at Bella's questions because I already knew the answer.

"It's not allowed. Anytime there's a fight in the family, Alice is off limits for help because of what she can do. We can ask anyone else for help, but not Alice. Alice can only tell us if an idea will work or not; that's the family rule." Emmett answered

"Oh." I could see that Bella was at a loss for an answer.

I felt responsible for the position she was in. Then she furrowed her brows as if deep in thought and after a few moments her eyes lit up. I wanted to pat myself on the back, because I felt I was getting better at reading Bella's facial expression.

With a smile, Bella said, "Edward mentioned that there might be a wedding soon. Have you purposed to Rosalie lately?"

"No." Emmett looked confused.

"Well, are you going to marry Rosalie anytime soon?"

"Actually, we had talked about this summer, but what does that have to do with the problem I have now?"

Even though Emmett didn't see where this was going, I had an idea that I did, but I wanted it to come from Bella so I said nothing.

"Well, you could propose to her at lunch." She replied.

"Hey, that could work." Emmett brightened up and looked toward Alice who just smiled back.

Bella continued. "Have you purchased an engagement ring yet?"

"No, maybe I should." He looked over at Alice and quickly asked her. Alice's reply was just what Emmett wanted to hear. I was so proud of Bella that I beamed. "Bella, you're fantastic," and right there in front of me he leaned over and kissed Bella on the cheek.

The smile vanished from my face, and I couldn't help but let out a low growl. Emmett just looked at me and said, "Well, if you'd make her my little sister, then I could do this," and he swiftly kissed her on the lips. I was ready to strike him but two things stopped me. First, Bella's reaction; her face turned beet red with embarrassment. Second, I thought, _How can he do that without losing control?_ So, instead of hitting Emmett, I laughed. It was obvious his kiss didn't evoke any emotion in her accept embarrassment so I had nothing to be jealous about, and I needed to ask him how he could touch her without first thinking to control his strength and thirst.

"Thanks, Emmett," Bella said very quietly.

"Can I borrow Edward for the morning?" He was asking Bella's permission. Another surprise from Emmett, usually he just said what he was going to do. I just stared at him. "Well, I can't take Rosalie's car, and I don't think you'll let me drive yours," he explained.

"Sure, but have him back by lunch." She turned to me, smiled, and kissed me on the lips. "I'll see you at lunch, and help him find a really nice ring."

I smiled at her, "I will." Then I turned to Alice and very quickly said, "Take care of her for me. Don't let anything happen to her." I said it fast enough and low enough that I knew Bella wouldn't hear it. I didn't want her to think I didn't trust her to stay away from trouble, but then again, I knew trouble could easily find Bella. I kissed Bella's lips and told her, "I will see you at lunch." I added with a low chuckle, "Please stay out of trouble."

Then Emmett and I walked off toward my car. We decided Port Angeles would be the best place to find an appropriate ring, but as we were pulling out of the parking lot, I heard trouble looming in Rosalie's mind. She'd overheard a couple of girls comment on the kiss Emmett had given Bella, and Rosalie's thoughts weren't pleasant. I was glad I had asked Alice to watch over Bella. I knew she would foresee any problems and keep Bella safe until we returned. I also heard what she planned to do to Emmett, so I decided I'd better warn him about hurricane Rosalie.

"When we get back, you'd better have a good story for Rosalie. She's fuming right now."

"Why?" he casually asked.

"She overheard two girls discussing that kiss you gave Bella in front of me. They were waiting for a fight, but thought we'd fight off the school grounds because they saw us leave."

He frowned. "Man, that's not good. Rose will kill me. What am I going to tell her?"

I looked over at Emmett and said, "What you won't do is tell Rosalie that this was Bella's idea. If you do, this will backfire on all of us. You already know she dislikes Bella, and I don't want to give her another reason to dislike her. So, instead, you'll tell Rosalie that you kissed Bella as a thank you so I could take you to buy her a gift. You had better also tell her that you had planned on buying it this weekend, but her anger changed your mind, so you decided to have me drive you because you knew she would be upset if you took her car." I thought about what he should do next to distract Rosalie from thinking about Bella. I knew Rosalie liked to be the center of attention so I told Emmett, "Then you get down on your knee and propose to Rosalie."

"In front of everyone in the cafeteria?" He hadn't expected to make that much of a scene.

"Yes. You'll make her the center of focus, show her how much you love her, and she'll forget all about the kiss you gave Bella. And, if she should mention it later, you need to play it down. It wasn't romantic and you have to convince her of that."

Emmett stared at me in shock. "Of course it wasn't romantic. Do you think I'm crazy? It's bad enough Rose is mad at me, but do you think I want you after me too. I would have to be crazy to do something like that. Bella is your girlfriend. To me she's just like a kid sister. I want to keep it that way. Besides, I like Bella; she's funny and smart. So don't growl at me anymore," he concluded with a smile.

"I won't growl if you promise never to kiss her on the lips again."

"I knew that would get you. I just wanted to see how serious you were."

"And?" I asked.

"I got my answer. You're as much in love with her as I am with Rose and Jasper is with Alice. You seriously need to do something about it before it's too late." I could tell he was serious from his expression.

"Don't you start too. I won't change her, and I'd appreciate it if everyone would stop telling me that I should." My anger came out in a growl.

"Don't growl Edward. We're only telling you what you already know but won't admit. You love her, you want her, and you need her in your life. What's more, she feels the same way. For this to work, you need to be equals. And stop growling at me, I'm only telling you the truth."

I hadn't realized I was still growling, but I did stop and declared, "I won't change her; end of conversation."

But Emmett had to add on last jab, "Then let her go."

_I can't_, I admitted to myself, but I wasn't going to share that with Emmett. Instead, I just sped up because I was determined we would arrive back at school in time for lunch.

I made it to Port Angeles in record time, but Emmett was slow in picking out a ring. I suggested several extremely expensive ones; I knew Rosalie's taste ran high, but Emmett dismissed them as too bland. He finally settled on one of the flashier engagement rings with multiple diamonds in it. He also purchased the matching wedding ring. He said it would save time. While he was wrapping up his purchase, I found a small rather unique gift to give Bella, but I decided I would not give it to her in front of Rosalie. Let Rosalie have her big moment, I'd save Bella's for a quieter more personal time.

All Emmett could talk about on the way back was Rosalie. It started to grate on my nerves, so I finally decided to ask my question from earlier.

"Emmett, how could you kiss Bella without worrying about hurting her?"

"What'd you mean?"

"Well, when I kiss her I have to be very careful that I don't press to hard and hurt her. I have to concentrate on what I am doing at all times."

Emmett laughed. "That's because you're in love with her and I'm not. I wasn't going for a passionate kiss, just a little peck, and that was mostly your fault anyway."

"I don't follow."

"I saw it in your face. You were ready to deck me for kissing her cheek. I had to see what you would do if I kissed her on the lips. What made you laugh? I hadn't expected that."

"First, Bella blushed, and then, I couldn't fathom how you could do that without thinking about control. How did you?"

"Easy, like I just said, I'm not in love with her, so there was really nothing to control, and she didn't respond to my kiss, which also told me how much she loves you. Besides, Bella has been around me long enough that I have just learned to be careful of her. Remember, I was the in the back restraining her when we were driving her away from James. Your problem is you're lusting after her blood and her flesh, so you have to refrain from taking both. Now, if . . ."

"Don't go there Emmett. I've already made it perfectly clear that that is not an option."

His thought came through clearly, even though I cut him off. _I'd change her._

"Have it your way, but your just making it hard on yourself and Bella. I really don't understand you. If I were Bella, I'd be wondering if you really loved me."

"Why?"

"Because it would feel like you didn't want to keep me around. Bella must really be special for her to put up with your rejection."

"I'm not rejecting her."

"Yes you are." _Is he that blind?_

Emmett was beginning to make me mad. "How?" I almost yelled.

"By refusing her the one thing she wants." He looked over at me, "Don't, and just listen." He must have noticed I was becoming extremely irate. "Bella wants to be with you, she doesn't want anything to stand between what you feel for each other, but this difference is the biggest wall that separates the two of you. She's asking you to remove it; instead, you're fortifying the wall, and reinforcing any chinks that any of us might try to put in it. If I were Bella, I'd see this as a rejection. Sure, you tell her you love her, but you refuse her the only thing she asks you for." _Bella must really love him if she's willing to put up with this. I know I wouldn't._

"Emmett, if the roles were reversed and Rosalie was human, would you kill her so you could be with her?"

"If it was what Rose wanted, yes. You know I can't refuse her anything, and truthfully, I don't want to refuse her. Just admit it Edward, at some point you will have to either change her or leave her. Either way, she'll be in pain. At least one is only temporary, but can you be sure if the other one is?" _I'd die before I'd let Rose go, I wonder . . ._ but he didn't finish the thought.

Just then, we pulled into the school parking lot. I noticed I had five minutes before fourth period would end, and all I wanted to do was be at the door when Bella came out of Spanish class. I didn't say anything to Emmett, but picked up a gift for Bella before I left the car. Emmett's parting thought was, _How can he love her that much but not want to be with her forever,_ but he was wrong because I did want to be with her forever.

Since no one was in sight, I was able to make it to the classroom door in plenty of time before the bell rang. I leaned against the wall and waited. I should have walked slower, because I had time to recall Emmett's comments. It was as if a battle was raging in my mind. There was part of me who wanted to change Bella, then a part that refused to damn her to this existence, and then there was the monster who reminded me I could just take her blood and that would end the internal war. It was easier to override the monsters argument because the last thing I wanted was to end Bella's life permanently; the part that wanted the change countered with by changing her I was not really killing her, just stopping her heart, but she'd still be the Bella I loved and she would stay with me forever. Before I could go any further, the bell rang and I noticed Alice and Jasper headed my way.

"Don't let her out of your sight. Rosalie wants her blood, but not literally. We've been escorting her between classes just to ward off a Rosalie attack." Alice said quickly, and then she and Jasper turned and headed for the cafeteria.

I slipped my arm protectively around Bella's waist the moment she walked out the door. "I told you I'd be back in time for lunch."

She smiled up at me and replied, "I didn't doubt it, but why have Alice and Jasper been so conspicuously protective?"

"Rosalie heard Emmett kissed you. She's not happy." I guided her toward the cafeteria.

"But there wasn't anything in it. I mean, it was all very brotherly. Of course, you did growl at him," she laughed.

"Yes I did, but then you turned a beet red and I knew the kiss meant nothing to you. Here," I gestured to the wrist corsage I was holding, "A little something for you for May Day."

"Edward, you already gave me an orchid." She turned and smiled at me. "Are you trying to spoil me? And what's May Day?"

"I'm not trying to spoil you, I'm just showing you how much I love you, and May Day is a celebration of spring, so I decided I'd give you flowers." The flowers were a deep red that reminded me of her blush this morning. I held her hand to place the corsage on her wrist.

"Not that one," Bella said as she pulled away her hand. Then she extended her other hand, "This one."

I looked at her questioningly.

"I don't want anyone noticing the scar," she said quietly.

"Oh." I smiled. Bella was the only human I knew who carried a vampire bite scar. If she didn't want to emphasize her wound, I wouldn't either, so I gently placed the corsage on her other wrist.

"Thank you, they are lovely, but you have to stop."

"Why?" I couldn't understand why she didn't like my gifts. Rosalie loved it when Emmett bought her gifts.

"I feel funny having you spend money on me. I'm not use to this kind of attention."

"Bella, would you take my pleasure away? It pleases me to give you things, and none of it has cost very much." _Except the gift I purchased this morning,_ I thought.

"Come on Edward, what did the orchid cost? I know they're expensive, and the crystal bowl. It's too much. Promise me you won't buy me anything else expensive." She looked up into my eyes.

"Bella, I don't know if I can do that. What if I see something I know you'll just love? What if it whispers, 'buy me for Bella.'?" She glared at me, so I thought that maybe she would agree upon a compromise. "Okay, how about I promise to try, but if I slip you'll forgive me?"

She continued to look into my eyes searching for something, but I wasn't sure what. "Okay, but only if you promise to really try, and if I decide it's too expensive, you agree to take it back."

I thought about that for a moment and decided it would at least give me time to convince her to keep the gift. "Okay, it's a deal. Now, let's not be late for the big proposal."

"Are you sure I should be there? If Rosalie is that upset, maybe I should sit somewhere else today."

"No, this is a family event and I want you there as part of the family." I watched Bella turn a lovely shade of pink; her blushes were so endearing that I had to tip her chin up and kiss her lightly on the lips. "Let's go," I said as I propelled her to the cafeteria.

As we entered, I heard Emmett explaining to Rosalie about 'the kiss.' Alice and Jasper were at the table as well.

"Rose, would I really kiss Bella in anything but a friendly way with Edward standing right there? You have nothing to be jealous of because I love you; besides, Edward would have demolished me if the kiss had been anything but innocent and sisterly. I can't believe you were listening to juvenile gossip; they see everything as a melodrama and make more of it than there really is. Honestly, it was just a thank you kiss for allowing Edward to drive me to town to pick up a gift for you." Emmett was saying.

"You had no business kissing her at all, and why does Edward need her permission to do anything. He's a big boy; he can do as he pleases." She argued back.

I interjected, "Because I said he had to ask her permission, and if I choose not to leave Bella alone with no help while her leg's in a cast, then that too is my business. Emmett's right, it was a friendly kiss, or he wouldn't be here right now. If I don't object, than neither should you." I helped Bella sit down next to Alice and I took the seat next to her.

"Well I do. I don't want other females going around kissing my husband." She sneered under her breath.

"Rose, she didn't kiss me; I kissed her, and besides, it's no different than me kissing Alice. It was just a sisterly kiss." Emmett added.

Rosalie lashed out and said, "But Alice is family; Bella isn't."

At that moment, Bella got up from her seat and began walking away from the table. I was about to go after her when Alice laid her hand on my shoulder and said. "Let me."

I glared at Rosalie. "You are the most vindictive, hateful person I know. I'm sorry you're a part of my family," I snapped under my breath.

"Well you're stuck with me," she retorted.

"Maybe, maybe not," I replied. There were times in the past when Rosalie had made me angry, but never like this. If I could disown her as a sister, I would. "I'm glad I never liked you, I'm glad I never chose you as a partner. You have a nasty personality full of meanness."

Rosalie turned to Emmett and demanded, "Are you going to let him talk to me like that?"

"Rose, he's defending Bella like you expect me to defend you when you're attacked. You verbally attacked Bella, and it was mean. She has never done anything to harm you and then you turn around and intentionally harm her. I'm disappointed in you Rose. You're justified in being mad at me for kissing her, but it was an innocent kiss."

"On the lips?" She retorted.

"Well, that was only to get back at Edward. It had nothing personal to do with Bella she was just there. It's not as if she kissed me back. In fact, she turned so red; I've never seen anyone blush like that. It was kind of funny." He chuckled. "But the truth still remains; you have no right to lash out at her. It was not her fault; in fact, it was your fault."

'My fault!" She almost yelled.

"Rosalie, we're in a public place, calm down." Jasper whispered laying a hand on her shoulder, which she shrugged off.

Emmett continued before Rosalie could. "Yes, your fault. You were mad at me because Edward bought flowers for Bella. So, I decided that instead of waiting to get your gift this weekend as I had planned, I asked Edward take me this morning." Emmett looked over at me, and then continued. "I wanted to ask you something, but I won't do it until the rest of the family is present. If Bella and Alice return, then I'll ask you what I meant to save for this weekend. If they don't return, then I may not ask at all." This time Emmett slyly smiled in my direction.

Rosalie looked crestfallen. Emmett seldom talked to her like this, but she was in the wrong this time and we all knew it.

"Rosalie, right now Bella is telling Alice that she can't understand why you hate her so. She knows how much Emmett loves you, and how beautiful you are. She can't understand why you would think that Emmett would look at her, an insignificant nobody, when he has someone as gorgeous as you in love with him. By the way, she's not insignificant, and if you ever make her feel that way again, so help me, you'll regret it." I took a deep breath to calm my anger over Bella being made to feel that way by Rosalie. "I think you owe her an apology."

Rosalie's mouth dropped open. That was probably the last thing she expected from me, but I was going to stand my ground.

"And it has to be an appropriate apology, not some abbreviated 'I'm sorry' type attempt." I added sternly. "If you don't apologize when Bella returns, neither she nor I will remain at this table."

She looked me in disbelief, and then she looked at Emmett. He supported me. "He's right Rose. You owe her an apology, and if they leave, then I'll have to rethink whether or not I want to give you my gift."

Just then, Alice and Bella walked slowly back to the table. I quickly reached out for Alice's thoughts. _Bella's fine, Edward; we talked. Tell you later._ I could tell Bella had been crying. That only intensified my anger toward Rosalie. I got up, helped Bella sit back in her chair and then looked expectantly toward Rosalie as I sat down.

Rosalie raised her chin a little, looked at Bella, and said, "I'm sorry Bella. It wasn't your fault." _There are you happy._ I glared at her. "I realize it was Edward's fault Emmett kissed you."

"What?" Emmett and I both challenged.

Rosalie just looked around at the shock on everyone's face and Bella took hold of my hand under the table. "Why are you staring at me? I apologized. I admitted it was Emmett's fault not Bella's."

Emmett laid his hand on Rosalie's and replied, "No, Rose, you didn't. You said it was Edward's fault."

Rosalie looked over at me for confirmation and I nodded.

"It must have been a Freudian slip. Sorry," she replied quietly.

I reached into her mind looking for the reasoning behind her slip, but all I found was confusion, as if she herself was looking for an explanation. The closest she came to an answer was, _Well, it's his fault she's with us now._

I looked over at Emmett who was just as lost about what Rosalie said as all of us were.

Finally, he said, "Well, you did apologize."

In reply, Rosalie smiled at him.

Then he nonverbally asked me, _Will you accept that?_ I gave him a slight nod. Emmett then turned to Rosalie. "Rose, we've talked about our plans for this summer, and I have decided I'd like to make this official." He got up from the chair, then went down on one knee, took Rosalie's hand and asked, "Will you marry me, again?" Into her hand, he placed a red velvet box.

Rosalie very quietly replied, "Yes." Then she opened the box and pulled out her ring. Emmett took it from her and placed it on her finger. I noticed the cafeteria was quiet, except for all the thoughts rushing around the room.

_I can't believe it. He proposed to her._

_How romantic._

_Can he do that in school?_

_I'd never have the nerve to do that in front of the entire school._

_Why can't more guys be as romantic as the Cullen's? Edward gave Bella flowers and Emmett proposed to Rosalie._

_Good thing it wasn't Edward and Bella._ How could I miss that voice. Newton, of course, thinking he still has a chance at Bella. Not on his life if I had anything to say about it.

_Why would anyone want to marry their sister? That's sick._

I had to laugh at the last thought. If only they knew the truth. None of us was ever related in that fashion. I looked around to see if any teachers were present. I hadn't thought about that before, Emmett might have gotten detention from a teacher for proposing. It was a good thing only students witnessed the event. I broke up the family gathering by mentioning, "The bells about to ring."

I helped Bella up and we walked hand in hand to class. On the way, I leaned over and said, "Ostentatious."

She looked questioningly at me.

"The ring, it's ostentatious, just like her car."

"Oh."

I had expected a little more from Bella, but she was too quiet so I asked, "Are you okay?" I was worried that Rosalie's comments had really hurt her feelings.

"Yes, I'm fine. Alice and I had a nice talk. I'll be okay; I just have to get use to the fact that Rosalie will never like me or accept me." She sounded so dejected.

"Does it matter that much to you?" I wouldn't care if Rosalie didn't like me; she was a typical spoiled self-centered conceited brat.

"Yes, it does. If I'm ever to really feel like one of your family, then I need to know that everyone accepts me as a member. That'll never happen with Rosalie, and I've tried so hard to be nice to her but it hasn't worked. I'm doomed to be an outsider." On that her voice broke.

I decided it was time for her to have a talk with Carlisle and Esme. "Come on, we're ditching class." I steered her away from school and toward the parking lot.

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A big thank you to all of you who not only read my story but also review it.

Thank you.


	9. Family Edward

AN: As is always the case, these characters do not belong to me but to Stephenie Meyer. Hope this meets with you approval. Once again, I wish to thank my beta who is a great help in editing my chapters.

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Family – Edward

I knew Carlisle and Esme would be able to convince Bella that even though she was human she was still a part of our family. I didn't want her to feel like an outsider just because Rose refused to accept her. Besides, it wasn't Rose's call as to who was and wasn't in our family; that was up to Carlisle and Esme to decide.

As I pulled up to the house, I saw Carlisle and Esme standing on the porch. At first, I thought they knew I was coming, but their thoughts told me they'd come out to see who was driving up toward the house.

Carlisle's first words to me were, "Are you leading Bella astray by skipping school with her?" I wasn't sure if Bella heard that or not since he said it fast and soft, but after looking over at her I wasn't sure. She had a frown on her face, and I couldn't interpret what it meant.

I swiftly left the car and moved to Bella's side to open the door and helped her out. Bella smiled shyly at Carlisle and Esme. I wondered if she felt guilty about skipping school, although I was the one who whisked her away.

"We need to talk," I said as Bella and I approached Carlisle and Esme. I looked down and saw Bella blush.

"About?" Carlisle asked.

"Family," I replied.

"First," Esme held out her hand to Bella, "Let's make Bella comfortable." Esme always considered Bella's physical needs first; it was part of her caring personality.

With a smile, Bella took Esme's outstretched hand and replied, "Thank you."

As Esme lead Bella into the living room, I quickly explained to Carlisle what happened between Rose and Bella at lunch. I also included the part about Emmett kissing Bella even though it was awkward. Carlisle smiled as I mentioned the parking lot event and inquired, "And did you get upset?"

I admitted, "At first, but then I saw that it wasn't anything serious, no more than him kissing Alice at times."

"Good. I wouldn't want to take both of you to task for losing your tempers over something trivial." With that, we joined Esme and Bella in the living room.

I sat beside Bella, took her hand in mine, and started, "I thought it would be helpful if you shared your views about Bella's place in our family."

Carlisle was seated beside Esme. He smiled at her and then looked at Bella. "Esme and I have talked about this and we want you to know that we consider you a part of our family. To us it doesn't matter if you're human or not, what matters is who you are, and in our eyes, you're as much a daughter to us as Alice and Rose."

Bella blushed a deep shade of red. I remembered her saying she thought I was trying to humiliate her when I made her blush; I hoped she didn't feel that way about Carlisle's comment. I carefully squeezed her hand a little for encouragement and smiled into her eyes as she looked briefly at me and then at Carlisle and Esme.

"That's very kind of you," Bella replied softly, "But not everyone feels that way. I don't want to intrude on your family. I never meant to intrude. All I've wanted for months now is to be with Edward."

Carlisle came over and sat beside Bella. "Esme and I both know how you feel about Edward, and we know how Edward feels about you. That fact aside, we still want you to be a part of our family. Of course, the decision is yours. You don't have to include yourself in our family. You're free to choose. I know you have a human family of your own and we're not trying to take you away from them, but we would really enjoy being your adopted family and having you as an adopted daughter."

Esme smiled at Bella and added, "I feel like you're my daughter already. Having you accept us as family is very special for us. We've never had a close attachment with a human before, but you're a very special person, and we're proud to accept you into our family. Of course, as Carlisle said, if you're uncomfortable with that idea and don't want us as a family, I can understand that also."

I saw tears running down Bella's face, but I knew they were tears of happiness not sorrow because of the glow in her eyes and the beaming smile on her lips. "I . . . I very much want to be a part of your family." She hesitated and looked at me, and then continued, "I would like to be a real member of your family, but since Edward has no intentions of changing me, yet," she looked at me again, "I'd be happy to be an ephemeral daughter for as long as you'll allow me to be." Bella peeked over at me probably to gauge my reaction to her statement.

I wanted to laugh, but refrained. I knew she was trying to find a subtle way to suggest I should make this a permanent arrangement. If she only knew, I was fighting myself on that very issue. I wanted her forever in my life, just as much as she wanted to be there, but I couldn't bring myself to damn her to our non-life existence. She just didn't know what it really meant to exist as we existed. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at her because all I really wanted at that moment was for her to feel like she was a member of our family.

"Bella," Carlisle said as he took a hold of her hand, "Never doubt the fact that everyone in this room already feels that you're a real member of this family. You'll always be welcome in my home, and we'll always look out for you." And then Carlisle leaned over and softly whispered in her ear, but I could still hear him, "And I too wish Edward would make this permanent." Then, as I was about to reply, he shot me a quick glance that made me stop.

Bella, however, did reply, "Thank you. I appreciate your support and acceptance. I just wish everyone else in the family felt the same way."

Esme smiled. "Bella, even in natural families, sibling rivalry exists. Think of Rose's rejection as just that. Older children sometimes resent the addition of younger children, but eventually they get over it."

Bella smiled at Esme's comment. "Let's just hope that she does get over it."

"Believe it or not Bella, Emmett is your biggest supporter on the Rose front. He has tried valiantly to help Rose see that you're not a threat to us or our way of life, and he constantly reminds her that everyone else in the family has accepted you as one of us." Esme added.

"Maybe that's part of why she's upset. Maybe Emmett talks about me too much and she thinks I'm a rival, although how anyone as beautiful as Rosalie could ever perceive me as a rival is beyond my scope of imagination." Bella commented

My greatest hope for Bella was that one day she'd see what a beautiful person she really was, not just on the outside but on the inside as well. Rose shredded her feelings, but Bella was more concerned about Rose than about herself. Her self-sacrifice was one of the beautiful traits I loved about her, although, it was also the one trait that sometimes catapulted her into danger like when she was willing to sacrifice herself for her mother. The thought of James brought a frown to my brow and Bella noticed it. As she did, I changed it to a smile so she wouldn't think I was frowning at her.

Esme rose from the sofa, walked over to Bella, leaned down and said, "Welcome to the family, my dear." Then kissed her cheek, at which Bella blushed.

"Now, to give you an excuse for ditching class," Carlisle looked pointedly at Edward, "Bring Bella up to my office and let me look at her leg. And, Edward, let Bella walk up the stairs." Carlisle added with emphasis.

I never walked that slowly upstairs before. It was even slower than when I first brought Bella over to meet my family. I was tempted to seize Bella in my arms and run up the stairs, but I knew if we arrived too soon, Carlisle would know I'd disobeyed his order, for it was an order he gave. So, I patiently followed Bella's slow trod.

I followed behind her just in case she tripped, and we were about half way up when I heard her chuckle. "What's so funny?" I asked.

Bella laughed more before composing herself and replying, "This must be very tedious for you."

"In what way?"

"You love speed, but now you're walking at a snails pace because of me." Bella stopped and turned around. "If it helps, you can run ahead. You don't have to wait for me."

She smiled down on me with the rays of the afternoon sun shining down on her; as a result, she looked like she was glowing, and the sight took my breath away. I was temporarily speechless.

"I'm sorry Edward." She looked down crestfallen.

"Bella, I'm not upset with you." I said very softly, still amazed at how beautiful she looked as she was bathed in warm golden sunbeams. "It's just that right now you look like you're glowing. You look like a heavenly creature. It's amazing." I took a few steps toward her until we were standing on the same step.

She laughed. "Edward, I'm not heavenly."

"To me you are. Pure, innocent, and truly remarkable, and I'm a monster who lusts after you blood, body, and soul. I'm not good enough for you." How could I ever feel like I deserved this angel standing before me?

"Edward," the smile vanished from her face. "You're not a monster. Don't ever say that again. As for being pure and innocent, well, has it ever occurred to you that I might be lusting after you as much as you're lusting after me? Remember, I'm only human and I have natural human desires." She reached out and touched my face.

"Do you really?" Could she really feel that way about me? I wanted it, but I hadn't allowed myself to accept she could feel that way about me.

"Why don't you run up and down the steps a few times so you don't become frustrated with my slow movements?" She ran her hand down my cheek and smiled. "Or at least walk down, then up and open the door, by that time I may reach the top of the stairs."

I couldn't help but laugh; Bella could make some strange comments at times, and she was very adroit about quickly changing topics, but I took her advice and first walked, at a human pace, down the stairs and then up again. As I reached the door of Carlisle's office, I noticed Bella managed to make it to the top step, but just then, I saw her teeter on the landing and fall backwards. In less than two seconds, I was behind her and caught her before she could fell backwards down the stairs.

"Bella, are you trying to shorten your life intentionally?"

Bella had a stunned expression. It took her a few moments to catch her breath and compose herself. "Remember what you said about the sun making me look heavenly a few minutes ago?" She asked softly.

"Of course, and I meant it."

"What if it was an omen of my impending doom, and you thwarted death once again?" Her voice was not light or teasing, but serious.

Could she really believe this? I set her upright on the hall landing and then held her close as I carefully lead her down the hall. "You can't really believe that." I stated emphatically.

"I have given death a lot of thought since Phoenix, Edward. I don't think you were ever meant to save my life. Maybe change it, but not save it. This is only another example of fate attempting to take what no longer belongs to me." She looked up at me with the most serious expression I'd ever seen on her face.

I was startled by the fact that she meant what she said. She definitely believed her life was ending, or should've ended if I hadn't interfered. "Don't say that Bella. You have so much life ahead of you; don't give up on it."

"I haven't given up on life, Edward; it has given up on me." She turned the knob on Carlisle's office door and walked in.

"Bella, have a seat on this stool. I'll just give you a quick check-up to make sure everything is okay." Carlisle pointed to the stool and I lifted Bella onto it.

First, he took off her shoe and examined her foot. "Have you had anymore cramping since this morning?"

"No," she replied, then looked at me and said, "I thought you said it was normal?"

I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

Carlisle looked up at her, then at me, and explained, "It's normal only when someone carries you around too much and does not let you exercise the leg enough."

"Oh, I see." Bella replied.

"I think your leg is doing fine." He picked up his stethoscope. "This is going to be a little cold."

"Like Edward's touch." She volunteered with a chuckle and blush.

I laughed and noticed a slight smile on Carlisle's face.

As he was checking her heart rate, I ran my finger down her arm. Carlisle looked up instantly at me. "Do that again and I'll ask you to leave," he warned. I took a step away from Bella so her heart rate wouldn't race again.

After checking her heart, he next checked her lungs; I knew he wanted to make sure no congestion was building up. He hiked her shirt up slightly in the back and said, "Take a deep breath." I just smiled as I looked on. "And again." He stepped away from Bella, looked at her and then at me with a serious expression.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

Then Carlisle smiled. "Nothing. You're doing fine; just make sure you do some walking every day, but don't over due it."

I had to ask. "What was the serious look for?"

"The rest of the family just came in. I think we all need to sit down for a family talk." He put the stethoscope away and walked toward the door, then turned around. "That does include you Bella. You're part of the family now."

"Oh, yeah. I'll be there as fast as I can." She replied as she carefully got off the stool.

Carlisle looked over at me and with a smile said, "You can carry her this time," and then left.

Bella hobbled over to me. "Wasn't that rather redundant?"

"What?"

"The stethoscope. He can hear my heart just as well as you, why bother using the stethoscope."

Where did these questions come from? And was she always so observant? "Habit." I informed her. "He wouldn't want to accidentally check a patient's heart without one."

"I see," she replied thoughtfully and then gave a little laugh.

"You heard Carlisle; let's not be late," I grinned as I scooped her up in my arms. I was going to enjoy this trip. "And after the family meeting, you and I are going to talk about what you just said on the stairs." Then I rushed down the stairs with her, placed her carefully on the sofa, and sat down beside her.

Alice and Jasper were seated beside Bella, and Emmett, Rose, and Esme sat on the sofa facing us.

Carlisle started right in. "As head of this family, I will make this news crystal clear; Bella is now a member of this family. Esme and I have invited her to become a member and she has accepted." Carlisle paused and looked around at everyone in the room. "Now, it has come to my attention that someone in this family objects to our newest member, but I want everyone to know she deserves all the same consideration as any other family member, and," he turned toward Emmett, "even though I want you to make her feel like a part of the family, let's keep the kissing to a minimum. Okay?"

Emmett nodded slightly, but smiled over at Bella and me. "In my defense, it was brotherly," he laughed playfully. Then under his breath, he added, "But it was fun."

Rose responded by jabbing him in the ribs with her elbow, at which Emmett's smile broadened and he leaned over and kissed her.

"Despite that fact," Carlisle replied to Emmett, "Let's avoid embarrassing Bella in public, or starting family rows." The last was directed toward Rose.

I watched both their faces as I listened to their thoughts.

Rose's was predictable. _There'd better be no more affectionate demonstrations if he knows what's good for him, and she's lucky I only yelled at her._

_I wonder what would happen if . . . oops, sorry Edward._ Emmett must have noticed the look on my face. If he weren't careful, Rose and I would both do more than yell at him.

Carlisle regained my attention by asking, "Are there any questions? Good. I'll be in my study if anyone needs to talk to me," at which he looked pointedly at Rose, "and if anyone has any objections, I'd better hear them first before anyone else. Is that understood?" He looked around at everyone for confirmation.

I noticed everyone but Rose nodding in agreement. I didn't need to hear their thoughts to know Bella was accepted by most of the family, but Rosalie's thoughts were not agreeable. I stared at her knowing she was the one who needed to be confronted by Carlisle without the rest of us being present.

As Carlisle left, he motioned to Rose to follow him; Rose sneered at me as she got up and flounced quickly upstairs.

Alice leaned over and hugged Bella. "Welcome to the family. I for one have considered you a member since Edward saved you in the parking lot. In fact, it was right after that incident that I saw you as part of our family. Remember Jazz, I told you about it." She turned and looked at Jasper.

Jasper grinned. "Yes, I remember. I also remember that I was not too pleased." He looked at Bella. "It was nothing personal, Bella. It was just hard to know how I would react to being that close to you." He looked at Alice and smiled. "Alice has used this as a way to help me become more desensitized to the scent of human blood."

Bella smiled. "And has it helped?"

"With yours it has, and to some extent with others, but there are times when it's still hard." He hung his head and thought, _like when I'm hungry_. Then he quickly looked up at me and knew I had caught that thought and muttered, "Sorry."

Bella reached out and briefly touched his hand. "I try to stay away when I notice you're hungry." She then looked around at everyone present. "I truly don't want to make my presence uncomfortable for any of you."

"Anyway," Jasper added, "Welcome to the family, and I do mean that."

Jasper and Alice then rose and ascended the stairs.

Emmett walked over, leaned down, and gently kissed Bella's cheek. "I for one am glad to have you as a kid sister. You make me laugh, and don't worry about Rose. She'll come around eventually."

"Thank you." Bella blushed.

Her blush interested me. Was she blushing because of Emmett's comments or his kiss? Did Emmett have an affect on her as I did? I was uncomfortable with the last thought; I could very easily find myself jealous of Emmett, especially if his kiss was the cause of her blush and if his thoughts continued to wander back to that earlier kiss as they had a moment ago.

"I think I'll go have another talk with Rose." Emmett was turning to leave.

Bella delayed him by laying her hand on his, "Please Emmett, don't say anything to Rosalie about me. Find something else pleasant to talk about."

How did Bella know what Emmett had planned to talk about with Rose? I began to wonder if Bella read minds but was keeping it from me.

"Like what?" Emmett turned and asked.

"How about your wedding?"

Emmett beamed and grasped Bella's hand and kissed it. "I like that idea. Thanks Bella," and Emmett swiftly ran upstairs.

I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with how often Emmett had put his lips on Bella's skin today. Jealousy was one of those new emotions that I discovered when Bella entered my life. I would have to talk to Emmett about it later.

"Bella, I think you make an excellent addition to the family. I'm sorry if this sounds trite, but you're like a breath of fresh air." Esme walked over and kissed Bella on the cheek, and then she too went off to another part of the house.

"I would say you have made quite an impression on everyone." I smiled and wrapped my arms around her.

"Except Rosalie."

"Well, you can't win everyone over in a day," I chuckled.

"But I've been around for more than a day." Her tone was downhearted. "Let's not talk about this anymore. Let's talk about something more cheerful. Cheer me up, Edward."

"Anything you ask," I replied before I brushed my lips against hers and then ran kisses down her face and onto her neck. I was glad Carlisle was in his office because he wouldn't like what I was doing to Bella's heart rate. When I finished with her neck, I worked my way back up to her lips and exhaled just as my lips reached hers. I heard her moan slightly before she pushed away from me. I looked carefully at her face for fear I'd hurt her, but I saw a slight smile on her lips.

"A moments pause, please. I need to breathe," she whispered.

"How about we continue this upstairs?" I murmured.

"I don't think I can walk that far."

"Easily remedied." I gently picked her up and carried her to my bedroom door. "By the way, can you read minds?"

She'd kept her eyes closed, but they flew open at my question. "What?"

"Your comment to Emmett about not talking to Rose about you. How did you know that was what he was going to do?" I was still curious about that.

"It was the look on his face. Edward, did you really think I could read his mind?" She was looking into my eyes with a surprised expression.

"Well, yes. It was what he was thinking, so I knew what his intentions were, and it surprised me when you seemed to know them too."

Bella chuckled. "That'll be the day, me reading minds, it's laughable." She continued to laugh as I carried her into the room and deposited her on the sofa.

"And another thing; what **did** you mean when you said life has given up on you?" I sat down beside her.

She turned and faced me. "Just that. I've encountered death numerous times since moving to Forks more than ever before in my life. I had a lot of time to think while in the hospital, especially when you weren't around." She ran her fingers around my lips and across my cheek.

I felt myself being lost again in her eyes. Nobody had expressive eyes like Bella's. They had so much depth to them; they were deep and dark and I found it easy to fall into them and lose myself without realizing it was happening.

"All these near death incidents made me examine my life. In the past, I had a lot of minor accidents and a fair number of serious ones, but none of them were as near to death as the ones I've experienced since I came to Forks," she continued.

"You see . . ." I began, but Bella put her finger on my lips so I couldn't finish my comment.

"Let me finish. I've thought about this a lot, and I've finally come up with a theory."

I couldn't help but groan, "Not another theory."

Bella chuckled, "Yes, but this one is about me, not you. You see, I theorized that all this time fate has kept me alive so I could meet you, but once I met you, fate was ready to take me, one way or another." She stared deeply into my eyes, causing me to become more lost in their depths.

I found myself wanting to reach out and touch her inner most soul as I fell deeper into her expressive eyes.

I didn't want to accept her theory so I replied, "No." There was no way I could even begin to imagine going on without Bella.

"Think about it Edward. Why would so many fatal events happen to a person unless it was their time to die? Nobody, in the natural course of their life, has as many accidents as I; at least nobody normal, and let's face it, I don't seem to be normal. If I were, you'd be able to read my mind. I'm beginning to think there is a reason behind that fact as well, but I haven't completely decided if I'm right or not. And it isn't dangerous for me to be around you; despite what you think, that is not where the danger comes from."

"Are you sure you can't read my mind?" I was curious to know how she knew what I was going to say when she stopped me.

"No, I can't read you mind, but I can read you. You keep telling me how dangerous it is for me to around you, so it just made sense that when I was talking about danger you would connect it to yourself."

"Bella, how does your mind function? I thought you had decided to tell me everything you were thinking and now I find you're thinking more than you're sharing." I needed to comprehend what was going on in her head in order to understand what she was telling me. I was discovering Bella was much more complicated then I'd ever imagined. Maybe that was why her eyes were so deep, and why it was so easy to lose myself in them. I wanted to drag my eyes away from her, but she had me locked; I couldn't resist gazing deeply into them.

"I did say that, but many of my thoughts are incomplete. They kind of flitter around forming vague ideas but take time and consideration to form complete comprehensive thoughts. Some need extensive contemplation before they even begin to develop into a coherent idea and then more study and consideration before they begin to progress into a shareable thought." Her brows furrowed and a frown spread across her face. "It's hard to share those disjointed images and ideas because I don't know where they're leading or if they're leading anywhere. Maybe that's why you can't read my mind because most of what I'm thinking hasn't really formed yet."

"You must have some fully formed and developed thoughts, or you wouldn't be talking to me right now, and some of those thoughts must be simple and clear enough that I should be able to read them," I chuckled.

"Edward," Bella's heart and pulse raced, and I watched the blush rise up from her neck. "There are some things too embarrassing to tell even you."

That admission sounded very interesting. What could she be thinking that madee her blush like that? _Maybe_, I thought, _if I breathe on her a little I can dazzle her into revealing the cause of her blush_. I decided it was worth a try, so I leaned in and exhaled slightly.

"That's unfair," she began and then I saw her eyes go blank and shut, and all the blood drained out of her face.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" Maybe it wasn't a good idea to breathe on her, at least not so soon after having prolonged our eye contact. She warned me that my eyes dazzled her, just as her eyes dazzled me at times.

She moaned a little which relieved my worry. "You really shouldn't do that," she whispered. "It is so unfair."

I made a mental note that too much dazzle made Bella faint. I would have to be more careful in the future. Then I realized, she hadn't answered my question. "Bella," I enquired, keeping my voice soft and low, "What caused you to blush?"

"You."

"What do you mean?" Had I missed something?

"You," she answered again.

"I still don't understand."

"If you think about it, it should come to you. Now, I either need to call Charlie or you need to take me home."

"I'll take you home. You need to eat supper." I'd just realized she missed lunch because of the scene with Rose, but I still couldn't figure out why I would make her blush. Well, that wasn't totally true. I was always saying or doing something to make her blush, sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally, but this time I couldn't recall doing anything that would bring about a blush in her.

"Will you help me with Trig afterwards?" She was changing the topic on me.

It was times like these when it was extremely frustrating not to be able to read her mind. I would have to think about her conversation later.

"Of course, but first I have something for you." I got up, pulled her off the sofa, and led her toward the closet. "Now stand here and close your eyes until I tell you to open them."

"Edward, you know I don't like surprises, and you'd better not have another gift for me."

Before coming out the closet, I looked to make sure her eyes were closed. I walked over to her and instructed her to hold out her arms. Once they were out, I placed my next floral gift into her waiting arms. "You can open them now."

Bella looked down at the flowers and her mouth opened into a perfect circle. "Oh," she breathed out. "Edward, they're beautiful."

"And they smell like you," I added.

"Freesia?"

"Yes."

She held the bouquet of three dozen long stemmed flowers near her nose and inhaled. "They're lovely. Do I really smell like this to you?"

"Actually, even better, but I was right, you do smell like freesia." I walked up to her, leaned toward her neck, inhaled, and affirmed, "Yes, you definitely smell better."

"They're beautiful Edward. Thank you."

"What, no reprimand for buying you another gift," I laughed.

"No. You've given me something more special than you might have imagined. I always wondered how I smelt to you. Now I have an idea. That's very special to me. You're very special to me." She put her hand on my cheek and softly kissed my lips. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." The touch of her lips sent a tingling sensation through my body. "Would you like to leave them here or take them home?" The flowers mingling with her natural scent intensified her aroma in the air.

"I'll take them home. I know just where to put them." She smiled at me and I took her arm and led her downstairs to the car.

As I helped her into the car, she said, "Thank you Edward, for everything."

"You're welcome." Then I got in the car and asked, "What do you consider everything?"

"The flowers, not getting upset about Emmett's kiss, bringing me here to talk with Carlisle and Esme, and loving me." She looked down at the flowers, but I saw a smile playing across her lips.

I reached over and tipped her face up towards me, "The easiest part is loving you." Then I kissed her before driving her home.

When we reached her house, I rushed around the car to open her door and help her out of the car. Then we walked slowly up to her door.

I had her fix dinner before we sat down with her homework. I figured if she ate before her dad got home, then I had an excuse for not eating with them. I could just say Bella and I ate earlier. While she fixed dinner, I placed her flowers in a vase and placed the vase on the dresser in her room.

During the math homework, I was able to discover a little more about how Bella's mind worked. Some problems she just didn't understand and others she knew the answers to without working out the solution on paper. After I helped her with the problems she couldn't solve on her own and we reached a solution, she would then work the problem backwards. She claimed it helped her understand the process a little more. She would sometimes perform that same backward process with problems she knew the answers to. I'd never seen anyone who approached math in such an illogical manner. At least it was illogical to me, but to Bella it seemed to make a lot of sense. I had to admit, she was right about the fact that her brain functioned differently than others.

Charlie came home rather late. It surprised me that he didn't call to check on Bella earlier to make sure she was home. When Bella first returned home from Phoenix, Charlie kept a closer watch on her, but I felt he'd been slipping a little lately. She still had a curfew, and I knew I would be ushered out the door at ten o'clock, but for Charlie to come home late without calling to see if Bella was home or not that, I felt, was a little too lax on his part.

After helping Bella with her Trig, we took some time to study for the Biology test Mr. Banner was giving us Thursday. It was ten o'clock when we finished and Charlie was right there to see me to the door. As he ushered me out, I saw Bella heading upstairs.

I realized it would take Bella a little while before she was ready for bed, so I drove home and took the time to wrap the present I'd purchased for her in Port Angeles that morning. I knew she would like it and even though it was a little expensive, once she saw it she would keep it.

I reached Bella's house in plenty of time to turn back the covers on her bed and fluff her pillows. When she walked into the room, I was already laying on her bed with my shoes off. She looked so delicious, and the mixture of her clean natural scent and the flowers in the room heightened my awareness of her.

"You're absolutely gorgeous." I proclaimed.

Bella turned and frowned at me. "My hair is wet, my attire leaves a lot to be desired, I have a cast on my leg, and you think I'm gorgeous. You need your eyes examined."

I laughed softly because it wouldn't do for Bella's father to hear a male voice coming from her room. "I'm not looking at your attire or cast, I'm looking at your face which at this moment is radiant. However, now that you mention it, you could use some new pajamas especially since you had to cut the leg on that pair of sweats."

"Well, they may not look nice," she admitted as she sat down beside me, "but they do keep me warm at night."

"Unfortunately, I don't warm your bed for you," I admitted. "In fact, I probably make it colder for you at night."

"Believe me, you warm up my bed more than you realize." Bella confessed as she blushed. Then she put her hand over her mouth and added, "Oops that slipped out." She turned and looked at me still blushing, "Let's forget I said that."

"Let's not. Maybe you could explain what you mean." I wondered if that unexpected admission had anything to do with the conversation from early about her thoughts and me making her blush, and since I didn't radiate any body heat, how could I warm up her bed.

Then it dawned on me, it wasn't anything I really did but the fact that I was laying here and she found me as physically attractive as I found her. Was Bella really stimulated by me the same way I was stimulated by her? Was she sharing some of the same emotional responses and thoughts that I was having? I decided there was only one way to find out, since I knew she wouldn't just tell me.

I looked closely at Bella and saw her blush a deep red. I also noticed she wasn't answering my last question.

I sat up, reached out and pulled her closer so she could nestle against my chest. "Since you aren't answering my question, let me make a guess at what you meant."

"No, don't," she murmured into my chest.

I felt the vibrations of her moving lips against my skin and I enjoyed the sensation. "Bella, is this contact as hard for you as it is for me?"

She instantly looked up at me and searched my eyes for my meaning.

"Not in a bad way, but in a good way. I love your touch, and I love touching you, but sometimes my emotions . . . well, lets just say, sometimes they're hard to keep under control." I looked into her eyes for a response to what I'd just admitted.

A look of understanding filled her eyes. "Really?" There was a hint of doubt in her voice.

"Would I lie to you, Bella? I once told you that my human emotions were being reawakened by you; despite what I am, I'm still a man. Yes, Bella, you do arouse feelings I've never experienced before, and sometimes I find them very hard to control."

"Edward, those are the thoughts that are fully formed in my mind," and she blushed even more, "The ones I didn't want to share because I thought you might get upset with me for having them. They are hard to control, and I've had no experience with them before. Maybe that's what makes them harder to control, because I don't know what to do with them. You've made it obvious I can't react to them, so I have to keep pushing them away, but I'm afraid one day, in a moment of weakness, they'll take over and then I'll do something that'll drive you away from me forever. I can't lose you Edward." A single tear ran down Bella's cheek.

"Well, it's nice to know this is something we'll be able to struggle through together." I held her tighter to me and kissed her forehead. "I do have one more small gift for you."

"No, Edward," she interrupted, but I held my fingers to her lips so she would listen to what I had to say.

"Just wait before you protest. I found this while I was helping Emmett select a ring for Rosalie, and it called out to me. So before you turn it down please look at it." I pulled the package from my pocket and handed it to her.

"Okay, but you know how I feel about you spending money on me. Don't get me wrong, I really love the flowers, but you were in a jewelry store, and I know Rosalie's tastes run high."

I gave her a quizzical look. How did she know about Rosalie's tastes?

"Alice told me," she supplied. Then she took the package and carefully unwrapped it. She held the red box gingerly in her hand.

"It won't bite," I encouraged.

She hesitantly opened the box and slowly lifted out the necklace I bought her, but I couldn't read the expression on her face. At first I thought she was angry, then surprised, and then sad. I needed to know what she was thinking. "Bella, don't you like it?"

"Like it. Edward, it's beautiful. It's you," she looked at me. "Well not exactly you, but it reminds me of you."

She held the necklace up to the light and her eyes began to shine. When I saw the lion with the topaz eyes hanging on the chain, I just knew I had to buy it for her. I knew she liked the gift when she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. "I take it, you'll keep it?"

"Oh, Edward. It's beautiful. He has your eyes. What's he made of?'

"Onyx. It would've been better if there'd have been a lamb on the chain with him. Remember the day we were in the meadow?"

"How could I forget? It was the day my dream came true."

"What dream?"

"The one where you told me you liked me. When I realized you weren't going to tell me to get out of your life forever, I was the happiest person in the world. It became even better when you told me you loved me."

"Oh, Bella. How could I have told you to leave? I was afraid you would be the one who would run from me and never want to see me again. By that time I was so in love with you that I couldn't leave, but I'd promised myself that if you left, I would let you go."

"I'll never leave you. It would hurt too much," Bella said as she got up from the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To put this on the dresser. I'll wear it tomorrow, but not now, I might damage it in my sleep, or it might damage me. He has sharp points and I'd don't want to risk any injuries." After she laid it in the dresser, she switched off the light and joined me in the bed.

"So, it was a good choice?" I asked with a smile.

"Yes, it was a very good choice. I'll keep it. Thank you." Then she nestled down next to me and drifted off to sleep as I hummed her lullaby.

Bella slept soundly that night and the rest of the week.

As I thought she would, she wore her new necklace everyday to school.

School was more pleasant for me knowing that I had lunch and biology with Bella, and if I got bored during the course of the school day, I could always listen in on the one-sided conversations Bella had with other students. Jessica was nicer to her now that she felt she had Mike and she knew Bella was only interested in me. I concurred with Jessica's second belief; Bella was only interested in me. As for Mike, he still harbored a belief that Bella would become bored with me, or that I would become bored with her and we would break up. He was biding his time waiting to pick up the broken pieces. There were a few times when I was tempted to break him into a few pieces, but I resisted. I discovered that jealousy was an extremely strong emotion, almost as strong as the love I felt for Bella.

During lunch Thursday, while I was quizzing Bella one more time for the Biology test, she looked up at me and asked, "When are you leaving?"

I couldn't believe she asked that. My mouth must have dropped open and I could only imagine what my expression must have been because Bella just chuckled.

"To go hunting," she supplied. "I noticed your eyes getting darker. I figured it must be about that time." She just grinned.

"Oh, well the family is planning on a trip tomorrow. I was going to talk to you about it tonight." It would be so much easier if I could hear Bella's thoughts, then I would know where these odd questions came from.

The smile disappeared from her lips. "Will you be gone all weekend?"

"No, we'll be back sometime Sunday morning, and as soon as we're back, I'll be over. It will be a long two days, and I'll miss you."

"I'll be in pain until you return. I know this is necessary, but every time you're gone, I feel like a part of me is ripped away, and I hurt until that part is returned." She was looking down at her hands.

I knew the feeling. That's how I felt whenever I had to leave her for an extended amount of time, but I had to feed my thirst so it wouldn't turn on Bella. I put my fingers under her chin and tipped her face up until I was looking in her moist eyes. "I'll miss you too." I then reached out and touched the lion hanging around her neck. "At least he can keep you company while I'm gone," I said hoping to lighten both our moods.

"It won't be the same, but every time I look at him, I'll think about you, and Sunday is not forever."

I could see she was also trying to cheer up both of us. "Come on, we don't want to be late for our test." I helped Bella up, dumped her tray, and walked her to class.

That evening we spent some quiet time alone. Charlie had to work late again, so Bella left him a plate of food to heat up and a note that said she had turned in for the evening. I warned her that he would still look in on her, and I was right. Around eleven o'clock he quietly opened her door to make sure she was actually in bed asleep. He internally reprimanded himself for not trusting her, but decided that all fathers probably felt that way about their daughters. Just before Bella fell asleep, I reminded her that I wouldn't be there in the morning when she woke up.

At five in the morning, I left; I knew my family would be waiting for me so we could leave. As I reached the house, I checked with Alice one more time about Bella's safety. Upon my request her thoughts were instantly clear, _Not again_; I hadn't thought I'd asked about Bella that often, but then I realized I probably had, but I couldn't help it. I had to be sure Bella would be all right while we were gone. Alice's response was like the rest; Bella would be fine while we were gone.

If I had thought Friday was long, I felt Saturday was even longer. I was restless to return to Bella. Even Esme, who had more patience than anyone else in the family, was becoming tired of my mood.

"Edward," she told me Saturday afternoon, "This would be easier on all of us if you'd just change her. Then she could come along and we wouldn't have to put up with your moping."

I was startled by her comment. Esme didn't usually scold unless she felt it was necessary. That's when I knew my mood was affecting everyone. "I'm sorry, Esme. I'll try not to be so gloomy. It just hurts so much to be away from her, and the anxiety I feel about her safety is tearing me apart," I confessed.

"Has it ever occurred to you that these feelings will be even worse if you lose Bella, whether from a natural death or because one of you finally walks away from this unfulfilled relationship?"

She didn't stay for an answer, she just walked away, but her words stayed and haunted me for the rest of the day.

I was never so happy for a new day to begin, as I was when Sunday morning arrived. I refrained from rushing everyone to leave, but I was in the SUV as early as I dared waiting for everyone else to get in. Even though Carlisle drove fast, I felt as though we were moving at a snail's pace. I wanted to encourage him to drive faster. It was even harder to stay in the SUV until we arrived home. I knew Carlisle would be upset if I jumped out at the edge of town so I could run to Bella's house.

I would've left immediately except for the screech Alice let out as she reached the front door. I thought she'd seen something terrible, but then I noticed two vases of flowers next to the front door.

I heard Alice telling Esme it was from Bella

Then Esme picked up the other vase and read the attached card, "Happy Mother's Day from Bella. That was really sweet of her," she said.

I felt very proud of Bella. She had given Esme a very special gift and I rushed over to her house to let her know how very special that bouquet was to Esme. I noticed Chief Swan's cruiser was gone, so I went in the front door, and dashed up the stairs. Even before I opened her door, I knew something was wrong. I couldn't smell her; at least her scent wasn't as strong as when she was in her room. I discovered her room empty and her bed made. Bella didn't often make her bed; I did.

I became concerned. Had she gone out with her dad? She knew I was coming home this morning, why wouldn't she be waiting for me. I realized that was a very self-centered thought. Just because I was this anxious to see her didn't mean she felt the same way. But then I argued she should feel the same way.

I wandered around to see if maybe she was somewhere else in house. Maybe she'd hurt herself and was lying on the floor injured. I thought of the kitchen. As I walked in, I noticed dirty dishes on the table, as though Bella and her dad had left in a hurry. It was unlike Bella to leave dirty dishes lying around.

I paused to think about what I knew. Bella had left dirty dishes in the kitchen, and her bed was made – maybe not slept in. Sometime yesterday, Bella had gone over to our house to leave the flowers, but Bella couldn't drive and her truck was still in the driveway. So who took Bella over to the house and when and most importantly, where was Bella?

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_If you liked the story, please let me know. I enjoy hearing from those who read my chapters. Thanks for the kind words and the encouragement to continue._


	10. Family Bella

_AN: I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews; I received more reviews on this chapter than on any other. I guess cliffhangers encourage readers to review. I hope the ending of this one helps those who wondered what happened to Bella._

_As always, these characters are not my creation but that of Stephenie Meyer. She gets all the credit for their creation._

_Enjoy!_

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Family – Bella

At first I wasn't sure where Edward was taking me, but it soon became evident we were headed to his house. I wasn't sure why he was taking me there, but over the past month or so it began to feel like home to me. Since the accident, I had spent as much time at the Cullen's as I did at Charlie's, so both houses felt like home.

As we pulled up to the house, I saw Carlisle and Esme standing on the porch. I wondered how they knew we were coming.

I looked over at Edward to see if there was any indication in his facial expression as to what was happening, but it only looked like he was concentrating on listening. I had noticed lately that when he was hearing someone's thoughts his face became serious and he actually looked like he was listening to an actual conversation – the same intense look of someone who was intently involved in an actual discussion with someone else. Sometimes the look was obvious and other times it was subtler, but I always saw the look and knew what he was doing. Every so often, the look would come over him when he was trying to hear my thoughts, but it was always followed by a look of defeat because he couldn't hear anything from me.

From Edward's look, I knew Carlisle was speaking to him as we parked because I saw Carlisle lips moving, so I fastidiously listened. I had picked up the habit of listening carefully from being around the Cullen's. If I paid close attention, I sometimes caught bits and pieces of what was being said. From Carlisle I heard, " . . . leading . . . astray . . . skip . . . her," and it had the intonation of a question. I interpreted it as a reprimand of Edward for skipping school with me in tow. Maybe Carlisle thought Edward was a bad influence on me, but I didn't feel Edward's influences were bad.

Edward was at my door in a flash, and he helped me out. I smiled as we walked up to Carlisle and Esme. I felt awkward being here when I knew we should've been at school, but I also knew Edward had a reason for bringing me; I'd just have to wait to learn what the reason was.

"We need to talk," Edward told his parents as we approached the porch.

"About?" Carlisle asked.

I felt the color rush into my face. Was he going to say anything about Emmett kissing me; was he upset about that or was there something else about which he was upset?

"Family," Edward's reply was simple, and I wondered if it had anything to do with my comment about feeling like an outsider.

"First," Esme held out her hand me, "Let's make Bella comfortable." Esme was great; I could hear the concern in her voice.

I smiled as I took Esme's outstretched hand and replied, "Thank you." Her concern meant a lot to me.

Esme ushered me into the living room and made sure I was comfortably seated on the sofa. Then she sat down on the sofa facing mine and asked, "Is everything alright?"

I blushed. It wasn't my place to complain about Rosalie's dislike of me, so I hesitantly said, "As best as can be expected."

She looked at me waiting for more, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything else. That's when Edward and Carlisle walked in. I could see from the look on Carlisle face that Edward had told him about the incident at lunch, and I hoped he'd refrained from telling about the kissing incident.

Edward sat down beside me and grasped my hand. He looked up at his parents and began, "I thought it would be helpful if you shared your views about Bella's place in our family."

I felt rather awkward about Edward's bluntness. In my opinion, he was putting his parents on the spot making such a request.

Carlisle, who was seated by Esme, smiled over at her and then focused his attention on me. "Esme and I have talked about this, and we want you to know that we consider you a part of our family. To us it doesn't matter if you're human or not, what matters is who you are, and in our eyes, you're as much a daughter to us as Alice and Rose."

I was amazed and pleased that they had taken time to talk about this and already considered me a daughter. That fact made me feel warm all over. I knew part of the warmth was from their acceptance and part was from the blush rushing into my face. I disliked blushing because everyone could see it, which made me feel more embarrassed, and then Edward squeezed my hand, so I looked up at him and he smiled reassuringly. I felt extremely comforted by his actions.

Very softly, because of my embarrassment, I replied, "That's very kind of you," but I knew that I wasn't accepted unanimously into the family. Without thinking, I added, "But not everyone feels that way. I don't want to intrude on your family. I never meant to intrude. All I've wanted for months now is just to be with Edward." With all my heart, I knew that last comment was absolutely true.

For whatever reason, maybe to reassure me of his sincerity, Carlisle came over and sat beside me. "Esme and I both know how you feel about Edward, and we know how Edward feels about you. That fact aside, we still want you to be a part of our family. Of course, the decision is yours. You don't have to include yourself in our family. You're free to choose. I know you have a human family of your own and we're not trying to take you away from them, but we would really enjoy being your adopted family and having you as an adopted daughter."

Esme smiled and added, "I feel like you're my daughter already. Having you accept us as family is very special for us. We've never had a close attachment with a human before, but you're a very special person and we're proud to accept you into our family. Of course, as Carlisle said, if you're uncomfortable with that idea and don't want us as a family, I can understand that also."

Their sincerity touched me and caused me to cry. I was so moved I could only stammer, "I . . . I very much want to be a part of your family." Hesitantly I looked at Edward, and his crooked smile helped me to continue. "I would like to be a real member of your family, but since Edward has no intentions of changing me, yet," I peeked at him quickly to make sure he wasn't mad, "I'd be happy to be an ephemeral daughter for as long as you will allow me to be."

From his reaction, Edward didn't seem upset, so I relaxed a little.

"Bella," Carlisle took my hand in his cold one, "Never doubt the fact that everyone in this room already feels that you're a real member of this family. You'll always be welcome in my home, and we'll always look out for you." Then Carlisle surprised me by leaning over and whispering softly, "And I too wish Edward would make this permanent."

I knew Edward heard him but I noticed he shot Edward a quick glance that stopped Edward from making any reply.

I felt overwhelmed, "Thank you. I appreciate your support and acceptance." I hastily wondered if that meant Carlisle might consider changing me if Edward wouldn't, but I didn't want Edward to know I had such a thought, so I added, "I just wish everyone else in the family felt the same way."

Esme smiled. "Bella, even in natural families, sibling rivalry exists. Think of Rose's rejection as just that. Older children sometimes resent the addition of younger children, but eventually they get over it."

I wondered if that would really be the case with Rosalie, but I was grateful for Esme's comment so I smiled and replied, "Let's just hope that she does get over it."

"Believe it or not Bella, Emmett is your biggest supporter on the Rose front. He has tried valiantly to help Rose see that you're not a threat to us or our way of life, and he constantly reminds her that everyone else in the family has accepted you as one of us." Esme added.

"Maybe that's part of why she's upset. Maybe Emmett talks about me too much and she thinks I'm a rival, although how anyone as beautiful as Rosalie could ever perceive me as a rival is beyond my scope of imagination." I sometimes thought that maybe Rosalie was upset with me because everyone talked about me. Maybe she thought I was taking the attention of her family away from her.

As I looked over at Edward, I saw him frown. Whenever I saw his frown, I instantly felt he knew my thoughts and they displeased him. Even though he couldn't read my mind, I believed my face gave away my thoughts. A second later, however, I noticed his frown was replaced by his lovely crooked smile so I was unsure of what caused the frown.

I saw Esme gracefully rise from the sofa and walk over to me, "Welcome to the family, my dear," then she kissed my cheek causing me to blush yet again.

_Would I ever get over that embarrassing habit_, I thought.

Carlisle added, as he looked over at Edward, "Now, to give you an excuse for ditching class bring Bella up to my office and let me look at her leg. And, Edward, let Bella walk up the stairs." Carlisle added with emphasis.

I tried to walk as quickly upstairs as possible, but the walking cast slowed me down more than usual. I felt Edward's impatience with my slowness and I sympathized with him. For someone who loved speed as much as he did, this had to be torture for him, and yet he didn't utter one word of despair about having to follow me slowly upstairs.

_Poor Edward_, I thought, _how this must be killing him._ And then I remember he was already dead, and then it struck me how funny that was.

I hadn't realized I had laughed out loud until I heard Edward ask, "What's so funny?"

For some reason I found that even funnier and couldn't help but laugh more. It took me a moment to compose myself and reply with feeling, "This must be very tedious for you."

"In what way?"

"You love speed, but now you're walking at a snail's pace because of me." I stopped and slowly turned around. "If it helps, you can run ahead. You don't have to wait for me."

I smiled down at Edward wanting him to know I really did feel sorry for him to have to put up with my sluggish pace, but then his face took on an incomprehensible look. I was convinced I had done or said something that upset him.

"I'm sorry Edward." I looked at him repentantly.

"Bella, I'm not upset with you." He answered very softly, but with an astonished look on his face. "It's just that right now you look like you're glowing. You look like a heavenly creature. It's amazing." He took a few steps toward me, and we were standing on the same step.

I couldn't help but laugh. Here was my angel saying I looked heavenly. It seemed absurd. "Edward, I'm not heavenly."

"To me you are. Pure, innocent, and truly remarkable, and I'm a monster that lusts after you blood, body, and soul. I'm not good enough for you."

"Edward." I was shocked. How could he think that? I never saw him as a monster and I wouldn't allow him to call himself one. "You're not a monster. Don't ever say that again. As for being pure and innocent, well, has it ever occurred to you that I might be lusting after you as much as you're lusting after me? Remember, I'm only human and I have natural human desires." I couldn't help but reach out and touch his divine face; I also shocked myself for being so bold as to confess all of those feelings to him. Did he really think he was the only one affected in that way by our relationship and physical contact?

"Do you really?" I could hear doubt in his voice.

I couldn't figure out how he could doubt those feelings. He heard my heart race whenever he touched me or kissed me. What did he think caused that reaction? I didn't want to dwell on my feeling because I knew I would begin blushing again and he'd only want to know why, so I decided to change the subject.

"Why don't you run up and down the steps a few times so you don't become frustrated with my slow movements?" I felt that would distract him and to add to his distraction from my outburst, I ran my hand down his firm alabaster cheek and smiled. "Or at least walk down, then up and open the door, by that time I may reach the top of the stairs." Then I gave him a big smile.

I was glad to see Edward take my advice; I knew he could actually go up and down the stairs five or six times at his speed before I'd reach the top landing, but I noticed he walked them at a normal speed and he still made it to Carlisle's office door as I was reaching to top. That was when my clumsiness kicked in; just as I reached to top step I lost my balance and tip backwards. I knew I was going to fall down the stairs. Edward must have seen it too, because he was behind me before I could complete my tipping and start falling. The near miss caused two reactions, I stopped breathing and my heart started racing, both of which Edward had to have noticed.

Instead of voicing his concern, he said, "Bella, are you trying to shorten your life intentionally?"

I had no time to get upset by his comment because I was still stunned. I took a few minutes to catch my breath and compose myself. Then I thought about what he said earlier about looking heavenly. "Remember what you said about the sun making me look heavenly a few minutes ago?" My voice was barely audible due to the shock.

"Of course, and I meant it."

I decided this was only another instance of fate attempting to take away my life. "What if it was an omen of my impending doom, and you thwarted death once again?" I was seriously beginning to believe this fact. How could I not help thinking that? I had been in Forks for less than half a year, and I'd come near to death at least five times.

Edward helped me to stand upright on the hall landing and then held me close while leading me down the hall. "You can't really believe that." He was just as serious as I was, and I think determined to convince me otherwise.

I decided to share with him a thought I'd for a while. "I have given death a lot of thought since Phoenix, Edward. I don't think you were ever meant to save my life. Maybe change it, but not save it. This is only another example of fate attempting to take what no longer belongs to me." I looked up at him to see his reaction.

I could tell he was startled by my comment and his words confirmed my impression. "Don't say that Bella. You have so much life ahead of you; don't give up on it."

Well, he was right and wrong about that; I'd given up on a human life, but not on spending eternity with him in his form of life, so I just said, "I haven't given up on life, Edward; it has given up on me." To stop him from replying, I opened Carlisle's office door and walked in.

"Bella, have a seat on this stool. I'll just give you a quick check-up to make sure everything is okay." Carlisle pointed to the stool and Edward was right beside me lifting me onto the stool.

Carlisle then took off my shoe and started moving my foot around. "Have you had anymore cramping since this morning?"

"No," I replied as I looked at Edward. He must have been more concerned then he let on. "I thought you said it was normal?"

As I watched him, Edward just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

Carlisle smiled at me and explained, "It's normal only when someone carries you around too much and does not let you exercise the leg enough."

"Oh, I see." I decided he was referring to the fact that Edward carried me every chance he got. I liked being in Edward's arms, but sometimes I felt I needed to show him I could get around on my own without his help.

"I think your leg is doing fine." He picked up his stethoscope. "This is going to be a little cold."

"Like Edward's touch." I chuckled at the thought and then blushed as I realized I had said that out loud.

I heard Edward laugh and noticed a slight smile on Carlisle's face.

As he was checking my heart rate, I felt Edward run his finger down my arm. Instantly my heart skipped a beat and then sped up. I couldn't believe he'd do that in front of Carlisle. Edward knew what his touch did to my emotions; there wasn't any need to share that with the rest of his family.

To affirm the fact of what happened, Carlisle warned, "Do that again and I'll ask you to leave."

I smiled slightly as I saw Edward take a step away from me.

Carlisle checked my lungs after checking my heart. After pulling my shirt up a little in the back, he said, like all doctors, "Take a deep breath."

So I took a deep breath and let it out in Edward's direction.

Then Carlisle said, "And again," after he moved the stethoscope to a new place.

As he stepped away from me, I noticed his serious expression.

"What's wrong?" I wondered if there was something wrong with my lungs or the examination he just gave me.

Carlisle smiled. "Nothing. You're doing fine; just make sure you do some walking every day, but don't over due it."

I felt relief wash over me, but wondered why he had looked so serious if my check up was fine.

Before I could ask, I heard Edward say, "What was the serious look for?"

"The rest of the family just came in. I think we all need to sit down for a family talk." He put the stethoscope away and walked toward the door, then turned around. "That does include you Bella. You're part of the family now."

"Oh, yeah. I'll be there as fast as I can." It felt nice being included. I made sure I carefully got down from the stool; I definitely wasn't ready to fall on my face even with a doctor near at hand.

I saw Carlisle looked over at Edward with a smile and say, "You can carry her this time," and then he left.

I hobbled over to Edward and asked, "Wasn't that rather redundant?"

"What?"

"The stethoscope. He can hear my heart just as well as you, why bother with using the stethoscope."

"Habit. He wouldn't want to accidentally check a patient's heart without one."

"I see," I figured that made sense and then laughed as the image of Carlisle flashed into my mind telling a patient their heart rate was a little high without using the stethoscope to hear what normal people couldn't hear.

"You heard Carlisle; let's not be late," Edward grinned wickedly as he lifted me into his arms.

I instantly closed my eyes. I knew he would make this a very short trip.

Just before he raced out the door, he added, "And after the family meeting, you and I are going to talk about what you just said on the stairs."

Almost before I took my next breath, we were down stairs and Edward was setting me down on the sofa next to Alice. Jasper, I noticed was seated beside her, and Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme sat on the sofa facing us. Edward sat down right beside me.

Carlisle started right in. "As head of this family, I will make this news crystal clear; Bella is now a member of this family. Esme and I have invited her to become a member and she has accepted."

I began to feel a little embarrassed, but I refused to allow myself to blush. I didn't like being the center of attention.

Carlisle paused and looked around at everyone in the room. "Now, it has come to my attention that someone in this family objects to our newest member, but I want everyone to know she deserves all the same considerations as any other family member, and," I saw him turn toward Emmett, "even though I want you to make her feel like a part of the family, let's keep the kissing to a minimum. Okay?"

Emmett nodded slightly, but smiled over at Edward. "In my defense, it was brotherly," he laughed playfully. I think I heard him add, "But it was fun." It was said so softly that I couldn't be sure, but I knew he said something because I saw his lips move.

Whatever his comment was, I notice it caused Rosalie to jab him in the ribs with her elbow. Emmett's response was to broaden his smile and lean over to kiss her.

"Despite that fact," Carlisle replied to Emmett, "Let's avoid embarrassing Bella in public, or starting family rows." I noticed the last was directed toward Rosalie. I didn't dare look toward her for fear of her look.

Carlisle finished by asking, "Are there any questions? Good. I'll be in my study if anyone needs to talk to me," then I noticed he looked pointedly at Rosalie, "and if anyone has any objections, I'd better hear them first before anyone else. Is that understood?" He looked around at everyone for confirmation.

I observed everyone but Rosalie nodding in agreement. As Carlisle left, he motioned to Rosalie to follow him; I saw Rosalie sneer at me as she got up and flounced quickly upstairs.

Alice was great. She leaned over and hugged me. "Welcome to the family. I for one have considered you a member since Edward saved you in the parking lot. In fact, it was right after that incident that I saw you as part of our family. Remember Jazz, I told you about it." She turned and looked at Jasper.

Jasper grinned. "Yes, I remember. I also remember that I wasn't too pleased." He looked at me with wide eyes. "It was nothing personal, Bella. It was just hard to know how I would react to being that close to you." He looked at Alice and smiled. "Alice has used this as a way to help me become more desensitized to the scent of human blood."

I couldn't help but smile. I remembered Edward's comment about his struggle with the blood issue since he was still new to the lifestyle. So I asked, out of curiosity, "And has it helped?"

"With yours it has, and to some extent with others, but there are times when it's still hard." He hung his head. I noticed he quickly looked up at Edward as if he had said something wrong, and then added, "Sorry."

I wasn't definite if he was apologizing to Edward or me, but I felt sympathy for his plight, so I reached out and briefly touched his hand. "I try to stay away when I notice you're hungry." I watched everyone's eyes for hunger, so I looked around at everyone present and added, "I truly don't want to make my presence uncomfortable for any of you." And I meant that with my whole heart. I never wanted to jeopardize their presence in Forks, and I didn't ever want to be the reason for them being forced to leave.

"Anyway," Jasper added, "Welcome to the family, and I do mean that."

Jasper and Alice then rose and ascended the stairs.

Emmett was the next one to welcome me to the family. He walked over, leaned down, and gently kissed my cheek. "I for one am glad to have you as a kid sister. You make me laugh, and don't worry about Rose. She'll come around eventually."

"Thank you." I couldn't help but blush. I don't think Emmett was aware of how thankful I was that he was willing to stand up for me to Rosalie. I just hoped she wouldn't misconstrue his support of me as anything other than support. I knew Emmett only loved Rosalie, and I hoped she realized that also.

"I think I'll go have another talk with Rose." Emmett was turning to leave.

Before he could walk off, I laid my hand on his, "Please Emmett, don't say anything to Rosalie about me. Find something else pleasant to talk about." I didn't want them to fight again, especially since he had just proposed to her at lunch.

"Like what?" Emmett turned and asked.

That was easy to answer. "How about your wedding?"

Emmett beamed and grasped my hand and kissed it. "I like that idea. Thanks Bella," and Emmett swiftly ran upstairs.

I decided Emmett could be very funny at times, and he did some of the oddest things. I was totally surprised when he kissed my hand; I thought it was so unEmmett like.

"Bella, I think you make an excellent addition to the family. I'm sorry if this sounds trite, but you're like a breath of fresh air." Esme came over and also kissed my cheek. Then she too went off to another part of the house.

"I would say you have made quite an impression on everyone." Edward smiled and wrapped his cold arms around me.

"Except Rosalie." I murmured dejectedly.

"Well, you can't win everyone over in a day," he laughed.

"But I've been around for more than a day." I couldn't help but feel disheartened by her rejections. As odd as it seemed, her acceptance of me was important. I needed to be cheered up, so I said, "Let's not talk about this anymore. Let's talk about something more cheerful. Cheer me up, Edward."

"Anything you ask," he answered. Then he brushed his cold lip gently against mine, but his lips didn't stop there. After kissing my lips, he continued kissing down my chin and then my neck. If Carlisle thought Edward's brief touch made my heart race, it was a good thing he wasn't in the room while my heart was thumping hard enough to feel like it would break out of my chest. When he finished with my neck, he slowly moved his lips back up to mine, but just before he reached my lips I heard him exhale. His scent was so overwhelming that I felt dizzy and had to push him away because I couldn't breathe. I heard a slight moan escape my lips.

I needed to breathe and take control of my rampaging emotions, so I whispered, "A moments pause, please. I need to breathe."

"How about we continue this upstairs?" He murmured.

My knees were so weak that I didn't think I could safely get up off the sofa. I warned Edward about my lack of mobility. "I don't think I can walk that far."

"Easily remedied." He commented before gently picking me up and carrying me to his bedroom door. "By the way, can you read minds?"

I had my eyes closed as he raced up the stairs, but his question took me totally by surprise and my eyes flew open and looked into his. "What?'

"Your comment to Emmett about not talking to Rose about you. How did you know that was what he was going to do?" I could see the curiosity in his face.

"It was the look on his face. Edward, did you really think I could read his mind?" I couldn't believe he thought I was capable of such a feat. There was noting special about me, I was just a normal person, rather boringly normal accept for my near death mishaps.

"Well, yes. It was what he was thinking, so I knew what his intentions were and it surprised me when you seemed to know them also."

I laughed at the absurdity of the idea. "That'll be the day, me reading minds, it's laughable." I continued to laugh as he carried me into the room and set me down on the sofa.

"And another thing; what **did** you mean when you said life has given up on you?" He sat beside me.

I turned and looked at him. "Just that. I've encountered death numerous times since moving to Forks more than ever before in my life. I had a lot of time to think while in the hospital, especially when you weren't around." I ran my fingers around his firm cold lips and then across his alabaster cheek.

My eyes locked on his and I had to remind myself to breathe. His eyes were so expressive and captivating that is was easy to lose myself in them. Maybe that was why it was so easy to forget to breathe. When this happened, I always wondered if he knew he had this affect on me. It was extremely hard to look away from him when he stared at me that intensely.

I had to force myself to breathe so that I could complete my thought. "All these near death incidents made me examine my life. In the past, I had a lot of minor accidents and a fair number of serious ones, but none of them were as near to death as the ones I've experienced since I came to Forks."

"You see . . ." I put my finger on his lips because I needed to finish my thought without interruption.

"Let me finish. I've thought about this a lot, and I've finally come up with a theory."

He groaned, as he commented, "Not another theory."

A laugh escaped because I remembered a few of my early theories about him, "Yes, but this one is about me, not you. You see, I theorized that all this time fate has kept me alive so I could meet you, but once I met you, fate was ready to take me, one way or another." I continued to stare deeply into his eyes, causing me to become more lost in them.

"No." He growled.

He didn't want to accept my theory, but I wouldn't let it drop. "Think about it Edward. Why would so many fatal events happen to a person unless it was their time to die? Nobody, in the natural course of their life, has as many accidents as I; at least nobody normal, and let's face it, I don't seem to be normal. If I were, you'd be able to read my mind. I'm beginning to think there is a reason behind that fact as well, but I haven't had time to completely decide if I'm right or wrong. And it isn't dangerous for me to be around you; despite what you think, that is not where the danger comes from."

"Are you sure you can't read my mind?"

"No, I can't read your mind, but I can read you. You keep telling me how dangerous it is for me to be around you, so it just made sense that when I was talking about danger you would connect it to yourself."

"Bella, how does your mind function? I thought you had decided to tell me everything you were thinking and now I find your thinking more than you're sharing."

"I did say that, but many of my thoughts are incomplete. They kind of flitter around forming vague ideas but take time and consideration to form complete comprehensive thoughts. Some need extensive contemplation before they even begin to develop into a coherent idea and then more study and consideration before they begin to progress into a shareable thought." I wanted him to understand, but it was hard to find the right words. "It's hard to share those disjointed images and ideas because I don't know where their leading or if they're leading anywhere. Maybe that's why you can't read my mind because most of what I'm thinking hasn't really formed yet."

"You must have some fully formed and developed thoughts, or you wouldn't be talking to me right now, and some of those thoughts must be simple and clear enough that I should be able to read them."

"Edward, there are some things too embarrassing to tell even you." How could I admit to him that my desire for him lately was growing stronger? I could admit to myself that I wanted more, but I couldn't tell him that. Even thinking about these emotions caused my pulse and heart to quick and my face to flush.

Edward looked at me intently and then he leaned in and exhaled slightly.

"That's unfair." I meant to say more but I felt the room beginning to spin and I became lightheaded. All I could think at this time was it was good thing I was sitting down because standing wasn't an option.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" Edward's voiced sounded muffled, as if it was coming from a long distance away.

A small moan escaped my mouth and I was still slightly dizzy. "You really shouldn't do that," I complained softly. "It is so unfair."

"Bella," he asked in a low soft voice, "What caused you to blush?"

"You." Maybe it was vague, but maybe he would understand that his nearness and touch were playing havoc on my emotions.

"What do you mean?"

"You." Could it be that he didn't understand the full affect he had on me?

"I still don't understand."

I decided he needed to figure this out on his own; I just couldn't bring myself to admit how much I longed for our relationship to develop a little further, but I knew that wasn't possible because of his fear of hurting me. "If you think about it, it should come to you. Now, I either need to call Charlie or you need to take me home."

"I'll take you home. You need to eat supper."

In order to avoid a return to his topic, I asked, "Will you help me with Trig afterwards?"

"Of course, but first I have something for you." He got up, pulled me off the sofa, and led me to the closet. "Now stand here and close your eyes until I tell you to open them."

"Edward, you know I don't like surprises, and you'd better not have n me another gift."

I could hear him moving around but I dutifully kept my eyes closed and wished he would stop giving me gifts.

"You can open them now."

"Oh, Edward, they're beautiful."

"And they smell like you."

"Freesia?" That was what he kept telling me I smelled like.

"Yes."

I held the flowers to my nose and took a deep breath. "They're lovely. Do I really smell like this to you?" I had always wanted to smell myself like Edward smelled me, and now he had given me the opportunity to do just that.

"Actually, even better, but I was right, you do smell like freesia." He walked over, leaned toward my neck, inhaled, and affirmed, "Yes, you definitely smell better."

"They're beautiful Edward. Thank you."

"What, no reprimand for buying you another gift?" he laughed.

I imagined he found my response confusing after my protests about gifts, so I explained. "No. You've given me something more special then you might've imagined. I always wondered how I smelt to you. Now I have an idea. That's very special to me. You're very special to me." I laid my hand on his cheek and softly kissed his lips. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Would you like to leave them here or take them home?"

I wanted to enjoy their fragrance. "I'll take them home. I know just where to put them." I smiled and then he took my arm and led me downstairs to the car.

"Thank you Edward, for everything," I said as he helped me into the car.

"You're welcome," he replied before shutting my door and getting in on the drive's side. "What do you consider everything?"

"The flowers, not getting upset about Emmett's kiss, bringing me here to talk with Carlisle and Esme, and loving me." I smiled as I looked down at the beautiful pink flowers lying in my lap.

Edward reached over and tipped my face up towards his, "The easiest part is loving you." Then he kissed me before driving me home.

As always, it was a quick drive. Edward helped me out of the car and walked me to the front door.

Edward made me fix dinner before allowing me to sit down and do homework. I think this was his way of having an excuse for not sitting down to dinner with Charlie; he could just say he and I had eaten earlier. While I fixed dinner, Edward took care of the flowers.

Trig was my least favorite subject and I had a hard time with some of the problems. Edward was very patient with me, but I could tell from the expression on his face that he found my way of working out problems unusual. It did help when he would walk me through the solutions and I could see where my errors were. Why couldn't the Trig teacher do that instead of just saying my answer was wrong?

Charlie came home rather late. I was surprise he hadn't called to let me know he would be late. Usually he did, so I wondered if something important had come up that kept him too busy to call. Edward seemed a little upset when Charlie came in, but I couldn't decide what made him upset.

After Trig, we took some time to study for the Biology test Mr. Banner was giving us Thursday. It was ten o'clock when we finished and Charlie was right there to see Edward to the door. As he ushered Edward out, I slowly made my way upstairs.

It took me a little while before I was ready for bed. Wrapping my cast took longer when I didn't have Edward's help. As a result, Edward was already lying on my bed when I entered my room.

"You're absolutely gorgeous." He smiled at me.

I turned and frowned. "My hair is wet, my attire leaves a lot to be desired, I have a cast on my leg, and you think I'm gorgeous. You need your eyes examined."

He laughed softly. "I'm not looking at your attire or cast, I'm looking at your face which at this moment is radiant. However, now that you mention it, you could use some new pajamas especially since you had to cut the leg on that pair of sweats."

"Well, they may not look nice," I said as I sat beside him, "but they do keep me warm at night."

"Unfortunately, I don't warm your bed for you," he offered. "In fact, I probably make it colder for you at night."

"Believe me, you warm up my bed more than you realize." I blushed as I realized I verbalized my thought, so I hastily added, "Oops that slipped out." I wanted to take back that comment. "Let's forget I said that."

"Let's not. Maybe you could explain what you mean." He encouraged.

He stared at me and I felt my blush deepen. I couldn't answer his request; it was too revealing.

Edward sat up, reached out and pulled me closer. I found myself nestling against his chest. "Since you aren't answering my question, let me make a guess at what you meant."

"No, don't," I murmured.

He whispered, "Bella, is this contact as hard for you as it is for me?"

Was he really admitting that he was experiencing the same strong physical sensations that I was experiencing? I instantly looked at him and searched his eyes for an answer.

"Not in a bad way, but in a good way. I love your touch, and I love touching you, but sometimes my emotions . . . well, lets just say, sometimes they're hard to keep under control." He admitted to me as he gazed into my eyes.

"Really?" Could my angel really feel this strong an attraction to me?

"Would I lie to you, Bella? I once told you that my human emotions were being reawakened by you, and that despite what I am, I'm still a man. Yes, Bella, you do arouse feelings I've never experienced before, and sometimes I find them very hard to control."

My heart began to beat a little faster at his admission. "Edward, those are the thoughts that are fully formed in my mind," I felt myself blushing more. "The ones I didn't want to share because I thought you might get upset with me for having them. They are hard to control, and I've had no experience with them before. Maybe that's what makes them harder to control, because I don't know what to do with them. You've made it obvious I can't react to them, so I have to keep pushing them away, but I'm afraid one day, in a moment of weakness, they'll take over and then I'll do something that'll drive you away from me forever. I can't lose you Edward." It felt good to admit my feelings, but it scared me that he would leave and I would never have these desires fulfilled. I tried to resist crying when I thought about him leaving, but one traitorous tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

"Well, it's nice to know this is something we'll be able to struggle through together." He held me closer and kissed my forehead. "I do have one more small gift for you."

"No, Edward," I groaned, but he put a finger to my lips to stop my protest.

"Just wait before you protest. I found this while I was helping Emmett select a ring for Rosalie, and it called out to me. So before you turn it down please look at it." He pulled out a beautifully wrapped package and handed it to me.

"Okay, but you know how I feel about you spending money on me. Don't get me wrong, I really love the flowers, but you were in a jewelry store, and I know Rosalie's tastes run high."

He gave me a quizzical look.

"Alice told me," I supplied to answer his look.

I took the package and carefully unwrapped it. It was a beautiful red box but I was hesitant to open it for fear of what I'd find. I wasn't afraid I wouldn't like it because I knew Edward had impeccable taste; instead, I was afraid I'd like it too much and I wouldn't want to convince him to take it back.

"It won't bite," he encouraged.

I cautiously opened the box and slowly lifted out a beautiful necklace. I was right; I wouldn't be able to make myself refuse the gift.

"Bella, don't you like it?"

"Like it. Edward, it's beautiful. It's you. Well not exactly you, but it reminds me of you."

I held the necklace up to the light. It was beautiful. A black lion with the topaz eyes hanging on the chain. I was so moved that I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"I take it, you'll keep it?"

"Oh, Edward. It's beautiful. He has your eyes. What's he made of?'

"Onyx. It would've been better if there'd have been a lamb on the chain with him. Remember the day we were in the meadow?"

"How could I forget? It was the day my dream came true."

"What dream?"

"The one where you told me you liked me. When I realized you weren't going to tell me to get out of your life forever, I was the happiest person in the world. It became even better when you told me you loved me." I felt so happy I wanted to cry.

"Oh, Bella. How could I have told you to leave? I was afraid you would be the one who would run from me and never want to see me again. By that time I was so in love with you that I couldn't leave, but I'd promised myself that if you left, I would let you go."

"I'll never leave you. It would hurt too much," I got up from the bed to walk over to the dresser.

"Where are you going?"

"To put this on the dresser. I'll wear it tomorrow, but not now, I might damage it in my sleep, or it might damage me. He has sharp points and I'd don't want to risk any injuries." After I laid it in the dresser, I switched off the light and joined Edward in the bed.

"So, it was a good choice?" He asked.

"Yes, it was a very good choice. I'll keep it. Thank you." I was so tired that I nestled down next to him and drifted off to sleep while he hummed my lullaby.

I wore the necklace to school everyday that week.

The best part of school was lunch and Biology because I shared each one with Edward. I had always enjoyed school, and I still did – except Trig and gym of course – but having Edward near me was even more enjoyable.

As the week progressed, I noticed that Rosalie wasn't becoming any friendlier, but she was also not frowning at me as much. Maybe Carlisle had said something at least to stop her animosity towards me.

I also noticed as the week wore on that Edward's eyes were becoming darker each day. The golden butterscotch color I loved was slowly changing to the color of my onyx lion. Being with me, I knew, was going to become harder on Edward. I also noticed Jasper and Emmett's eyes were darkening as were Rosalie and Alice's eyes, but theirs were changing more slowly. I knew it would soon be time for the family to go hunting.

As Edward was quizzing me for the upcoming Biology test during lunch Thursday, I asked him, "When are you leaving?"

I saw Edward's mouth drop open, and laughed because I realize he mistook my meaning. I clarified by adding, "To go hunting. I noticed your eyes getting darker. I figured it must be about that time."

"Oh, well the family is planning on a trip tomorrow. I was going to talk to you about it tonight."

Why didn't he mention this earlier? I felt so depressed, but I also had to admit that I knew it was coming. "Will you be gone all weekend?"

"No, we'll be back sometime Sunday morning, and as soon as we're back, I'll be over. It will be a long two days, and I'll miss you."

"I'll be in pain until you return. I know this is necessary, but every time you're gone, I feel like a part of me is ripped away, and I hurt until that part is returned." I had to look down at my hands because if I looked in his eyes, I knew I would start crying.

Edward put my fingers under my chin and tipped my face upward. His eyes penetrated deep into my heart. "I'll miss you too."

He touched the lion hanging around my neck and sent a shock wave through my body.

The he added in a littler tone, "At least he can keep you company while I'm gone."

"It won't be the same, but every time I look at him, I'll think about you, and Sunday is not forever." I knew he meant to cheer me up, but I was hard to be cheery when I knew I'd be spending the weekend without him.

"Come on, we don't want to be late for our test." Edward walked me to class after he'd dumped my lunch tray off of which I had eaten very little.

That evening we spent some quiet time alone. Charlie had to work late, so I left him a plate of food to heat up and a note that said I was turning in for the evening. Edward warned me that he would still look in on me, and as usual, he was right. Around eleven o'clock he quietly opened my door to make sure I was actually in bed asleep. Just as I was falling asleep, Edward reminded me he wouldn't be there when I awoke. It was a depressing thought to be left with, as I feel asleep.

Friday was miserable. I missed Edward more that I thought imaginable, and it didn't help matters that Mike seemed to gloat over the fact that Edward wasn't around, and neither were Emmett and Jasper who would sometimes run interference with Mike when Edward was absent. Also didn't help that Jessica would glare at me if Mike became too friendly. Lunch was the worst. I had no one to sit with and I wasn't about to sit at a lunch table with Mike and Jessica, so I ended up sitting in my truck during the lunch hour.

When school was finally over, I at least was able to escape from the mindless chatter of the others students and Mike unwanted attention. Of course, home was also empty without Edward. I know that at one time I found plenty to keep me busy, and I never felt lonely, but with the arrive of Edward in my life, that all changed. I discovered what true loneliness entails and the emptiness caused by it.

Friday afternoon I found myself wondering around the house looking for ways to stay occupied; as a result, I cleaned house, did the laundry, started supper, and cleaned out the refrigerator while supper was cooking. After Charlie came home and we ate dinner.

While we were talking he asked me about my plans for tomorrow. What could I tell him, I planned to mope around the house missing Edward? Then I remembered that Sunday was mother's day. "I'm going to go to the flower store sometime tomorrow to have flowers sent to mom for Mother's Day. Other than that, I will work on my homework and stuff." At least the trip to the flower store would help fill a little time.

"Do you want me to take you? I know you can't drive yet. I could easily postpone my fishing trip."

"No dad, that's not necessary. I'll call one of my friend's and have them take me. I really don't want to ruin your day of fun and relaxation."

"Why don't you pick up some flowers for Alice while you're there," Charlie smiled. "She has been such a help with your limitations, and that would be a nice way of saying thank you. In fact," and he pulled out his wallet, "I'll help pay for them," and he handed me two twenties.

"Dad, isn't this a bit much?" I asked as I took the money.

"It'll help with your mother's flowers, too." He smiled. "I realized I haven't really given you much money to help you take care of your own needs. Besides leaving money for groceries, I hadn't thought much about what you might need personally. I guess I figured you'd ask if you needed something, but I never realized I should just ask once in awhile if you need anything."

"Dad, I haven't really needed much, and I still have some money left over from not having to pay for a car. Really, I'm doing okay."

"Bella, your my daughter, I want to help more. If you ever need some money, please ask. Okay?"

"Sure dad." It was odd having Charlie act fatherly all of a sudden; I wondered why it had come up, but it was nice know if I needed some money, I could ask even if it felt awkward to ask.

As soon as we finished dinner, I did the dishes and retired to my room for the evening. I thought going to bed early would help, but I found I could not sleep. I missed Edwards strong arms wrapped around me, and his sweet voice humming my lullaby. I tossed and turned until early morning before I finally drifted off into a fitful sleep.

My restless late night did not help me to sleep in. I thought I'd be able to sleep until noon, but found myself awake by 8 am. I decided to prolong my stay in the shower to help pass the time, but even dragging out my normal bathroom routine only occupied an hour and a half of the morning. Even eating breakfast only took fifteen minutes because half way through my bowl of cereal I discovered I was no longer hungry so I cleaned out the bowl and washed it.

With the morning not yet half over, I decided to email mom, make my bed, straighten my room, and do my homework. The rest of the morning was spent the same way, looking for things to occupy my empty lonely time.

Right after lunch I called Angela to see if she could take me to the flower store. I decided on her rather than Jessica because she was quieter and wouldn't bombard me with questions about my relationship with Edward. Beside, I felt a little uncomfortable around Jessica lately because of Mike. He was still dating Jessica, but he continued to hint that he would dump her if I agreed to go out with him. Why couldn't Mike except the fact that I didn't feel that way about him? Couldn't he see that Edward was the only person I would ever love? Boys can be so dense at times.

Angela was happy to chauffer me around. We stopped at the flower store first. I had flowers sent to mom, found a beautiful flower arrangement for Alice, and then thought about Esme. I had just been accepted into her family, but she always treated me like a daughter, so to show her how much I appreciated her, I also bought a flower arrangement for her. I attached a card to it that "Happy Mother's Day" and signed my name. I felt very happy about my decision. Angela then took me to the grocery store to pick up a few things I had noticed we needed. After taking me home, Angela helped my carry the groceries and flowers into the house. I liked Angela; she was quiet like me, more reserved and shy. She stayed a while and we talked about school and books, so it helped time pass more quickly. I was grateful that not once did she ask where Edward was or how things were going between us. Jessica would have showered those questions on me, and then some.

As I fixed dinner, I decided I'd ask Charlie to drive me to the Cullen's so I could leave the flowers on the front porch. I could've waited until after Edward returned to deliver the flowers so I could see the look on the faces of Alice and Esme when I gave them the flowers, but I decided I would rather spend the day with Edward alone. Yes, time alone with Edward was just what I needed, it would help ease the pain I'd felt during our separation.

I thought about being alone with Edward the entire time I fixed dinner. I imagined his cold lips on my neck and lips and the tingling sensations his lips would cause. I imagined his strong arms wrapped around my waist and holing me close to his body. My body even felt the sensations I knew would result because of our closeness; I could feel my pulse quicken and my lungs restrict, which caused a shortness of breath. It amazed me that I could react in this manner to Edwards touch without actually having him nearby to touch me. I decided this then was love; the ache of his absence, the emotions I experienced when I imaged him with me, and the longing desire for his quick return; I decided these were all signs of missing someone you truly loved.

As soon as Charlie came in, I asked him about driving me to the Cullen's house after dinner. He said he'd be happy to, so I rushed through my meal, and when Charlie finished, he said to leave the dishes until we returned.

The drive was short, well, not as short as when Edward was driving, but it didn't take long, and I carefully placed both floral arrangements on the porch near the door. I made sure they were both visible when the Cullens pulled up near the house.

On the drive back home, I spent my time dreaming of Edward's return. I was so caught up in my dream that I never saw what caused Charlie to swerve, but I did see the trees coming at us. Instinctively, I raised my arms in front of my face. The last two things I remembered before the blackness engulfed my world were the crunching of the metal and someone screaming, "Edward!"

I tried to open my eyes, thinking, _Is it morning? Is Edward coming over today?_ Then I moved slightly and realized I wasn't in my bed. I slowly opened my eyes and realized my arms hurt. Why did my arms hurt? And where was I? As my eyes focused, I noticed a big white pillow in front of my face, but I was sitting up not lying down. Then, slowly, the events of the evening played themselves out in my head.

Charlie had driven me to the Cullen's to deliver flowers and on the way home – holy crow, we crashed. The big white pillow made sense; it was the airbag. I pushed slowly away from it and then the scent of fresh blood assailed my senses. It was sickening, but the only things that hurt were my arms and I felt no sticky wetness on them. _Charlie_, I suddenly thought, _where's Charlie?_ I turned my head to look in his direction and the scent intensified.

"Dad?" I moaned. "Can you hear me?"

There was no response, but the scent of the blood was making me nauseous and lightheaded. My last thought before I blacked out was, _Edward, where are you?_

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_As before, review and let you know what you think. And a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter._


	11. BellaSitting Edward 1

_AN: My apologies for taking so long and for this being so short, but I started with Bella's chapter and then realized I couldn't post hers without posting the first part of Edward's chapter. In addition, Bella's chapter got away from me and is 27 pages long and still not at the point I meant to end it at. Now, Bella's chapter is done and I started Edward's chapter, but I ran into another slight problem – Jasper, Alice, and Emmett would stop talking, so now I have to revamp Bella's chapter to include any conversation they have while Bella is around. I hope to post Bella's chapter the first of next week and the rest of Edward's by the end of next week. When I do post the rest of Edward's chapter, it will begin with this section. In advance, I will apologize for the repetition._

_I also wish to thank everyone for the nice comments. I appreciate all of your encouragement._

_Disclaimer: Once again, none of these characters are mine. The characters and the setting all belong to Stephenie Meyer. _

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Bella Sitting- Edward

_I paused to think about what I knew. Bella had left dirty dishes in the kitchen, and her bed was made – maybe not slept in. Sometime yesterday, Bella had gone over to our house to leave the flowers, but Bella couldn't drive and her truck was still in the driveway. So who took Bella over to the house and when and most importantly, where was Bella?_

I realized Charlie was also gone; he would never have let Bella drive herself, and if someone else had driven her, he would have gone looking for her when she didn't come home. So, I decided, Charlie probably drove Bella to our house, but they never arrived back home. I called home immediately and asked for Alice. I filled her in on what I knew and asked her if she could see anything about Bella or Charlie, but all she saw was blackness. She said the blackness was different than seeing nothing, so it had to mean they were both alive but probably unconscious. I had her tell Emmett and Jasper to both follow the road and look for signs of an accident, and to carry a cell phone with them. I cursed myself for not having one with me, but I was not going back home to get one. I would start from this end and watch for signs of the cruiser.

I couldn't travel as fast as I usually did because I didn't want to miss anything. A flash of color or marks on the road or the side that looked like a car went off were what I carefully watched for. My thoughts focused on Bella. On her lilting laugh, her gorgeous smile, her beautiful face, her luscious lips, her radiant blushes, and effervescent personality – everything that made Bella Bella. I had to find her; I wouldn't allow her to leave me this way.

I felt like I had been on the road forever with no sign of the car, until I caught a slight scent of blood, not Bella's blood but still human blood. I followed the scent and found the car. The front was wrapped around a tree and I could see an airbag on the passenger's side, but I noticed there wasn't one on the driver's side. As I rapidly approached the car, I could distinguish two heartbeats, one slower than the other. _Please, Bella, be okay_ was the only thought running through my mind as I approached the car. Her window was slightly down but crackled into millions of tiny lines. I would have to be careful that the glass did not fall on Bella's inert form. She was so still, flaccidly leaning back against the seat.

When I reached Bella's side of the car, I carefully pulled the splintered window out, being careful to direct the falling glass out of the car. I leaned in and softly called Bella's name. At first, I couldn't hear what she was saying even though I saw her lips moving. Then, very faintly, I thought I heard her say, "The wolves are here." I called her name again, trying to make her aware of the fact that I was with her and that everything would be okay.

Her eyes finally flutter open just a fraction and she whispered. "You came."

A laugh escaped my mouth, it was a Bella comment, and I felt relieved. I knew she would be okay once we got her out of the car.

I heard someone moves noisily through the woods and called out, "Emmett, Jasper?" I figured it was Emmett because Jasper is generally quieter.

"We're almost there," I heard Emmett reply.

"Call Carlisle and then an ambulance and the police. Jasper, you'd better stay back, Charlie has lost a lot of blood." I warned. I knew he had just satisfied his hunger but felt it wasn't wise to tempt him with fresh blood.

"I'm going to get Alice. She wants to be here." He replied before I heard him moving away.

"They're on their way." Emmett stood beside me looking at the wreckage. "Can we get them out of the cruiser?"

"No, it's best not to move them. We wouldn't want to cause more internal damage, if there is any."

"So what do we do? Just wait?" Emmett was frustrated. _She looks so vulnerable just lying there. Why doesn't he do something?_

"Emmett, even though I want to take her out of the car, it is best not to." I felt as frustrated as he sounded. I hated seeing Bella just lying there, I wanted to pick her up and cradle her in my arms.

"Well, it just doesn't seem right. She looks so helpless, and we can't do anything to help her. What if she were dying? She's not is she?"

"No Emmett, her heart rate is steady, and she hasn't lost any blood. I think she's just unconscious." _Or passed out from the scent of the blood,_ I thought. "Charlie is the one who was bleeding, and if you'll notice, there was no airbag to stop him from hitting his head on the steering wheel."

"The scent is really strong." _Good thing I'm not hungry, and what's taking them so long._

I needed something to keep Emmett occupied until help arrived, then I remember Bella saying something about wolves. "Emmett, Bella mentioned something about wolves coming. Why don't you look around and see if there are any tracks."

"And maybe have a snack," he chuckled.

Leave it to Emmett to find humor even in an emergency.


	12. BellaSitting Bella

_AN: As stated before, all these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do not claim anything but the plot and even some of that was completely inspired by the personalities of the characters created by Stephenie Meyer._

_Now to those of you who reviewed. Thank you very much for you comments, encouragement and questions, and please believe me when I say, I'm not evil and I did not intentionally mean to take this long to update. If you want to blame anyone, blame Emmett and Jasper, they became more verbose then I thought they would and they would stop talking. To help you understand, this was originally 25 pages, it is now 29 pages long on Word, and Edwards chapter is already in the 30's and I still have one section to write that takes place while Bella is sleeping. I hope to have that up sometime next week. Once again, I apologize for the delay but blame Emmett and Jasper. Thanks!_

Bella-Sitting – Bella

I woke up with a rusty salty smell assailing my senses. It took me less time, when I opened my eyes, to remember where I was and what had happened. The nausea had returned, but I fought it and reached over to touch Charlie. I had to know if he was okay. I could just barely see him and it looked like he was slumped over the steering wheel. I placed my hand on his back to see if he was still breathing. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until I let out a deep breath when I felt him moving as he breathed.

I couldn't gauge what time it was because the only light I saw was the cruiser's headlights, but they seemed dimmer than normal. I was still light-headed and another wave of nausea washed over me as a breeze moved through the driver's window intensifying the scent of Charlie's blood.

I thought I'd pass out again, but then I heard a low growling. My thoughts jumped instantly to Edward, but then I heard a second growl and it was more animal like. It reminded me of a dog a neighbor had in Phoenix. I shifted my aching body with my sore arms so I could look out the side windows. I notice a pack of wolves snarling and growling just outside the cruiser. Both windows were open partway and I realized the scent of the blood attracted them.

The smell that repulsed me lured them. My mind was refusing to focus properly due to my light-headedness, and I knew it would be only minutes before I passed out again. My last conscious thought was how the eyes of the wolves had a strange glow in them. _It's not natural_, I thought.

My next moment of consciousness was shorter than the two before, and I noticed two things. First, the sky through the trees was blue. Second, an angel named Edward was reaching into the car and calling my name. The last thing I remembered before passing out for the last time was whispering, "You came."

I felt something cold touching my face and hands. I knew it had to be Edward, but I wondered why he wasn't in bed with me. Usually I wake up in his arms. Then I noticed my bed was uncomfortable; there was something different about it even the pillow didn't feel right. I felt rather groggy like I hadn't slept well; it was hard to open my eyes. I turned my head toward the side of the bed where I knew Edward would be sitting. Slowly, my eyes opened, and I saw his smiling face.

"Hello. I missed you." My voice came out hoarse and raspy.

"Here, drink this." Edward lifted my head and put a cup to my lips.

I took a drink of cold water. I enjoyed the cool wetness as it slid down my throat; I hadn't realized I was so thirsty. Then I noticed the room; it was a hospital room. Why was I in the hospital? Then flashes of the last hours came back. "Charlie! Where is Charlie?" How could I have forgotten the accident?

"Calm down, Bella. He's here, but in another room." He made me lie back down.

"But how is he? He was bleeding a lot."

Edward looked at me skeptically.

"It makes me nauseous and light-headed remember, and the smell was stronger. I think I kept passing out because of the smell. I think it attracted the wolves." I was lying back on the lumpy pillow remembering how I felt and what I saw.

"I didn't see any when I finally found you." He replied.

"I saw a number of wolves walking around outside; I was afraid they would come through the windows. They had funny looking eyes. They seemed to glow." As I stared at the ceiling, I saw those eyes hungrily staring at me.

"Bella, I didn't see any wolves. I didn't see any tracks of any animals around the car. Are you sure you really saw them?" He looked at me intently.

"I'm sure Edward. I may have blacked out right after that, but I'm positive I saw them, and you didn't answer my question about Charlie. Is he okay?" I was becoming overly concerned. Was Edward hiding something from me? I turned and looked closely at his face seeking the truth.

"He's in a coma."

I sat up quickly. My fear must've been extremely evident on my face.

"Calm down, Bella. Carlisle says it's not surprising considering the injury to his head. His airbag didn't deploy and his head struck the steering wheel. He received a gash on his head and that's why there was so much blood."

"Will he be okay? Will he come out of it?" I knew Edward heard the fear in my voice.

"He'll be fine, really Bella. Just give him time to heal a little. Carlisle thinks the coma may last a day or two and then he should wake up. You'll be fine too. You haven't asked about your injuries?" His face showed concern, but it was a beautiful face.

I reached up, touched his face, and caressed his check. I had missed him tremendously, and my heart swelled with the love I felt for him. "I haven't asked because I don't feel any pain. Am I hurt Edward?" I smiled lovingly at him.

"What am I going to do with you? You worry about everyone but yourself. I want you to be more careful with yourself. I don't want anything bad happening to you ever again, but the magnet in you just draws in every bad event it can find."

"But I didn't go out looking for an accident. We were only leaving flowers for Esme and Alice. How was I supposed to know something like this would happen? Why didn't Alice see this?"

"When did you decide to go over to the house?"

"Saturday around dinner time."

"I think Alice was too busy hunting. Remember how I said that we lose control during those times? Alice would have been too busy concentrating on her . . . um . . ."

"Dinner?" I offered with a slight smile.

"Okay, dinner. She was too focused on her dinner to see anything connected to the accident. When I found your house empty, I was scared. I couldn't fathom where you could have gone, but then I remembered the flowers and wondered whom you found to help deliver them. I decided I would back track to the house and carefully scan the surrounding areas looking for what happened. When I saw you slumped over in the car – Bella, I thought you were seriously injured because of the smell of the blood, but then I realized that none of it smelled of you. You weren't moving, but I could hear your shallow breathing. I thought the worst. Bella, you can't keep doing this to me. I don't ever want to see you like that again. Phoenix was the worst, but this wasn't good either. I don't want to lose you like that." He reached out and took me in his arms. His embrace was comforting and loving, and I wrapped my arms around him.

I didn't want him to let go, but I also thought about what he had said. I knew that one day he would have to face the fact that as a human he would lose me just that way. I could have lost Charlie just that way. Death was a looming inevitability. If I could realize that, why couldn't Edward, and could I dare bring that up at this moment. I don't know if either one of us was ready to discuss this fact again.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

I started to feel a dull arch in my arms. "My arms hurt," I said into his chest where I had happily buried my face.

"It's because of the bruises."

"What bruises?" I mumbled but didn't move.

"You see, I told you. You worry more about others than yourself. When the airbag deployed, the panel must've hit your arms. Did you raise them during the crash?"

I had to think about what my reaction had been before I could answer. "I think . . . I vaguely remember . . . raising them in front of my face."

"Well, bruised arms are better than a broken nose." Edward kissed my forehead.

"Edward, did you go to my house before you found us?"

"Yes. Why?"

"How come you didn't see us on the way to my house?"

"I was in such a hurry that I took a short cut through the woods. I missed you, and I couldn't wait to be by your side. If I had followed the road, then I would have seen the car even though it had gone off the road a bit and was further in the trees. Any other passing car wouldn't have seen it, but I would've if I had gone that way."

"Edward, can I see him?" I decided to focus my thoughts on Charlie.

"Not until Carlisle says it's okay for you to leave this bed." He replied sternly.

"This bed is lonely and uncomfortable." I hinted.

I must've given a good hint, because Edward was instantly beside me on the bed. I don't know how long we just sat there holding each other, but it was so comforting and enjoyable that I was disappointed when Carlisle walked into the room.

"Good thing it wasn't the nurse who found you like this." He smiled so I knew he wasn't upset about us being together. "Is this the prescription I need to write so you recover more quickly Bella?" He commented.

"It wouldn't hurt," I replied with a blush.

"And how are you feeling?"

"Safe, loved, comforted. Edward is my panacea." I smiled happily and was surprised by my boldness.

"Well, I'm glad to see there's no permanent damage." He smiled broadly.

"Can I see my dad?" I asked.

"Yes, but go easy. Remember, your leg is in a cast, and if you get dizzy, stop and sit down. I don't want you receiving anymore injuries while you're in the hospital." He wrote something on the chart at the end of my bed and began to walk out of the room. "Oh, one other thing, you can go home in a little while." Then he left.

"Can you help me out of this bed, Edward?"

"And I was just getting comfortable." He teased.

"So was I, but I would like to see Charlie."

Edward kissed me before he got up and helped me get out of the hospital bed. I was happy I wasn't in a hospital gown. I hated those things. I guessed, since this was a short stay, they figured I could just stay in my regular clothes, and there wasn't any blood on them, so I didn't have to worry about that fact. Edward walked me slowly to Charlie's room, which was adjacent to the room I had. I sat down in a chair next to Charlie's bed. He looked so pale, and the tubes from the monitor reminded me of tentacles as they breached into his arm. The monitor, at least, informed me his heart rate was steady. Edward kissed my forehead and told me he had an errand to run but would be back shortly. I think he wanted to give me some time alone with Charlie.

I felt miserable seeing him all hooked up with a large bandage on his head.

I took his hand in mine and said, "It'll be okay dad. Don't worry about me because I'm fine, and I know Dr. Cullen will take good care of you. You have to rest up and recover quickly."

Just then, Jacob wheeled Billy into the room. I wasn't sure how Billy had found out so quickly about the accident, but then I realized I didn't really know how long I'd been sleeping before I woke up in the hospital bed.

I decided I had to be cordial to Billy because of his friendship with Charlie, but I couldn't stop the image of the last time I saw Jacob. His father had sent him to the prom with a warning – 'We'll be watching.'

"Hello Billy." I tried to keep the animosity that I felt out of my voice.

"Bella," he started with a guarded tone. "How's Charlie?"

I figured he might as well know that Carlisle was Charlie's doctor. "Dr. Cullen says he is in a coma because of the head wound."

"Are you sure you want Dr. Cullen looking after your dad?" Billy asked cautiously.

It was the wrong thing to ask me and my temper wasn't at its best. "I trust Dr. Cullen with my life and my dad's despite your distrust of him and his family." Jacob looked shocked at my outburst. "Jacob gave me your message, but for someone who would be 'watching' me, it wasn't you who found me and called an ambulance, it was Edward. Where were you?"

"Bella, I'm only looking out for your best interest," Billy interjected.

"I know you're one of dad's best friends, but what's in my best interest is up to me to decide." I took a deep breath. "It was in my best interest that Edward was beside me when Tyler's van nearly crushed me. It was in my best interest that Edward was able to find dad and me after the crash."

"And what about Phoenix?" Billy interrupted.

"It was in my best interest that Edward and his dad were both present when I was clumsy enough to trip and fall through that window." It was time Billy realized that my life and Edward's were intertwined, and in my mind, they were intertwined forever. "Look Billy, Edward is the most important person in my life. In fact, without him, I wouldn't have a life. To me, Edward is my life and my life belongs to him." I hadn't meant for anyone else to hear what I was telling Billy and Jacob, but I knew Edward had heard at least the last because I saw him walk in the door and then I saw Emmett, Jasper, and Alice follow him into the room. I really hadn't meant for them to hear any of that.

Edward smiled at Billy and Jacob and walked over to me, put his arm around my shoulder, leaned over, kissed my cheek, and asked, "How's your dad?"

I was confused at first because he knew how Charlie was; he had told me about Charlie's condition, but then I realized that with Billy present he might not want Billy to know that he'd been here with me all along.

I smiled up at him and then at the rest of my family and replied, "The same. Your dad says it may be a day or two until he wakes up." I thought I'd add enough information to inform everyone of Charlie's condition.

"And how are you doing?" His tone was full of concern.

He knew how I was doing medically, so his concern had to be about Billy's presence. I decided I'd answer the question two ways. "I'm fine, just some bruises; no broken bones or any other injuries." That answered my medial condition for Billy and then I answered Edward's concern about Billy's presence. "Billy and Jacob stopped by to see how dad was doing. I just pointed out it was you who found us and called for help." I smiled reassuringly at Edward and then grinned widely at Billy. "Billy, I'd like you to meet the rest of my extended family. These are Edward's brothers and sister."

That's when Carlisle walked into the room. The atmosphere had grown awkward and slightly menacing, but when Carlisle walked into the room and I felt some relief because of his authoritative presence.

"Dr. Cullen, I'd like you to meet Billy and Jacob Black. Billy is a friend of dads." I thought it was only right to see to the amenities but I refused to add his as my friend.

Carlisle nodded to Billy and Jacob. Then he said, "I'd like everyone to step in the hall; I need to speak with Bella alone for a moment." He spoke with a determined command in his voice.

Edward gave him a concerned look, but Carlisle just waited for everyone to leave, then he closed the door. I was worried this meant bad news for Charlie.

"Bella," he stopped and place his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, this isn't bad news." He smiled reassuringly. He must have seen the concern in my face. "I called your mom while waiting for the emergency crew to remove the doors. I told her you would call as soon as you were able, but I reassured her it was nothing to be concerned about that you only had a mild concussion and needed to rest. I also told her about Charlie. She didn't want you staying by yourself, so I suggested Alice stay with you, or if she liked, you could stay with us while your dad's recuperating. She thought it would be okay if Alice stayed with you." He smiled again. "I think she's worried about you spending the night under the same roof as Edward."

Even I couldn't help but laugh at that, but I also blushed because it became obvious that Carlisle knew Edward spent his nights with me. I'd never thought about that before.

"Anyway, it has been arranged for Alice to be at your house in the evenings and Edward will pick both of you up there for school in the morning. We don't want anyone to question whether or not you have someone around helping you if you need it." Carlisle was patted my shoulder in a manner reminiscent of my mother when she was trying to comfort me and let me know that everything would be all right.

"So, do you really think dad will come out of the coma in a day or two?" I couldn't help but worry about him.

"Yes. Generally with a head wound like this, the patient's body uses the coma to help heal whatever has happened and to stop the damage to the brain from spreading. My concern is whether he suffered any major brain damage. Do you know how fast the car was going when it hit the tree?" We were sitting side by side and he was holding my hand.

"No, my mind was preoccupied with other thoughts," I shyly confessed. "I didn't even see what happened to cause the crash."

"Well, we'll just keep a careful watch on him, and I'll keep you informed of any changes. Now, how are you feeling?" He held up my arms to examine the bruises.

"They hurt a little, but nothing serious. I don't hurt anywhere else, if that's what you're wondering."

"You're lucky that panel didn't break your arm."

"Or my nose." I smiled and he smiled in return.

"Yes, that was another option that could've occurred. Everything looks fine so I'm going to check you out, and I'll send in your visitors."

"Carlisle, I'm sorry it's awkward for all of you with Billy here, but I can't send him away. On the other hand, I don't want to send anyone else away either. Is this going to be a problem, him being around, with the family?"

"I'm not going to say everything will be fine. It'll be uncomfortable, but we're not invading their land or violating the treaty by visiting Charlie or taking care of you. I will warn the rest to be careful about what they say." He patted my hand reassuringly.

"Thank you and I appreciate everything you've done for me and all you're doing for my dad."

Carlisle got up. "After you're release is completed, I'll let you know." Then he walked out the door.

Edward was the first one through the door. He smiled reassuringly at me and sat beside me. "How are you doing?"

That was the third time he had asked how I was doing. I needed to make him understand that I was fine. "Edward, I'm fine – a little disoriented maybe but fine. Your dad said they'd continue to monitor dad for changes. He'll know more when dad comes out of the coma."

Jacob was bringing Billy in as I told Edward about what Carlisle said, so I wasn't going to have to repeat the information.

"Did you see what happened?" Billy asked.

"You mean what caused the accident?" I looked toward Billy.

"Yes." He stopped near the end of Charlie's bed and Jacob sat in a chair on the other side of the bed.

As they walked in, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice gathered around Edward and me. I felt like I had four vampire bodyguards making sure no other harm came to me.

I looked around at everyone; I could feel the tension in the air, but I was glad I only had to say this one more time, or so I thought. "No, I didn't see what caused the accident. I wasn't really paying attention." I glanced at Edward. "It wasn't until I felt the car swerve that I realized something happened. I threw my arms up in front of my face when I saw the trees in our path. That's why I have the bruises on my arms. Dr. Cullen said I was lucky I didn't have a broken arm, and that my arms protected my face. I passed out right after that partly from the shock and partly," I looked at Edward again, "from the smell of the blood."

"You smelled the blood?" Billy sounded surprised.

I also noticed Emmett and Jasper seemed surprised by my comment. I would've thought Edward would've mentioned that fact to them.

"Yes, I can smell blood and it makes me light-headed and dizzy among other things." I hadn't felt like admitting the part about the nausea. It was bad enough I had to admit the scent of blood had a negative affect on me.

I heard both Jasper and Emmett chuckle softly. They knew I wanted Edward to change me, but if he did, I would thirst for blood. I wondered how my human aversion to the smell would be affected by my thirst for it after I was changed, or would the change also change my human aversion to the scent.

There was a moment of awkward silence, and then Edward mentioned the wolves. "Bella, one thing you said was that you saw wolves. Emmett and Alice looked but didn't find any wolf tracks around the wreckage," I saw Billy's eyes widen at his comment. "Are you sure you saw wolves?"

"Yes." I paused trying to remember the moment. "I remember reaching over to see if dad was still breathing. Because of the strength of the scent, I was worried. The scent was overwhelming, and I thought I was going to blackout again, but then I heard a growl and . . ." I looked at Edward leaving my comment unfinished. "It was followed by another, and that's when I looked out the window and saw the wolves circling the cruiser. Before I could do anything, I blacked out. I did notice that they had funny glowing eyes," I said as I stared at the wall. The silence enveloped the room again as I looked around at everyone present.

Billy's face registered disbelief and surprise. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward seemed concerned. Alice smiled slightly, like she knew something, and Jacob just looked uncomfortable.

Billy broke the silence by asking, "Are you going to be okay Bella?"

I looked at him questioningly, not sure of what he was asking.

"Being alone while Charlie's in the hospital," he explained.

"Oh, I won't be alone. Carlisle is letting Alice stay with me. My mom doesn't want me to stay alone, and when Carlisle suggested that Alice could stay at Charlie's, mom was very pleased. She met Alice in Phoenix and said she was 'a pleasant young lady.'" I smiled at Alice, but I heard Emmett chuckle and saw Jasper punch him in the arm, at which I laughed into my hand.

Billy didn't seem very pleased by that information but he couldn't do much about it, especially since my mom thought it was a good idea. "Well, you take care of yourself, and keep me informed of any change in your dad's condition. Jacob, I'm ready to go home." I saw him shoot a warning look toward Edward.

"I will let you know as soon as I know." I offered.

As Billy started to leave, Jacob looked at me apologetically, "I'm sorry about your dad and I hope he's better soon. I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks Jacob." I smiled.

When Billy was out of the room, Jacob added softly, "I'm sorry about what he said," and then Jacob rushed out after his dad.

After the door clicked shut behind Jacob, Emmett murmured, "Well, that was interesting." To which we all laughed quietly.

Then I looked over at Charlie and felt a little guilty about laughing while he was in a coma.

"Are you really okay, Bella?" Edward put his arm around my waist and pulled me against him.

I could read the concern on his face.

"Actually, I'm fine although I feel a little faint." At which I must have passed out.

I felt something cold and wet on my face, and when I opened my eyes, I saw everyone huddled around my bed. Their faces revealed their concern for me. I noticed Carlisle was also present.

"Bella, when was the last time you ate?" He asked.

I had to think about that and finally had to admit, "I don't know."

"Did you eat dinner last night?"

"Well, I cooked dinner, and I sat down at the table with Charlie, but I don't really remember the meal." I looked at Edward. "My mind was elsewhere."

I saw Edwards's crooked smile. "From the food left on your plate in the kitchen, I'd say you didn't eat anything."

Carlisle looked concerned. "So the last time you ate was lunch yesterday."

"No, I forgot to eat lunch, but I did have half a bowl of cereal for breakfast." I offered quietly.

"Okay. I have pretty good idea of why you just fainted." He turned to Edward. "You and Alice take her home and make sure she eats something." Then he turned back toward me. "Then I want you to rest, and I'm going to write you a doctor's excuse for missing school tomorrow because I want you to stay home and rest some more, and please, don't skip anymore meals."

I looked up at him shyly and quietly asked. "Can Edward stay with me?"

Emmett laughed aloud and Jasper chuckled quietly. "I guess you'll be Bella-sitting tomorrow Edward." Emmett teased.

"Do you want me to stay and chaperone?" Alice smiled teasingly Carlisle. "I wouldn't want Bella's mom to think I'm not watching out for her daughter properly." She laughed.

"I think Bella will be safe enough if you go to school tomorrow. Rosalie can stop by the house and pick you up in the morning because I want you to stay at Bella's tonight," Edward raised an eyebrow at that remark, "just in case Bella needs help with any personal needs." He concluded. Then he turned toward me, "You should also be aware, Bella, that an officer will probably be stopping by the house later today or tomorrow to ask you some questions about the accident, but if I were you, I wouldn't mention the wolves." Carlisle smiled reassuringly at me. "We'll take good care of your dad, and if there's any change, I'll call. Otherwise, wait until tomorrow afternoon before you come back to visit."

"Is there anything we should watch for?" Alice asked.

"Yes, she had a slight concussion, so watch her this afternoon; if she falls asleep, wake her up every hour. Edward should know what to watch for. You'll be in good hands Bella just take it easy and rest." Then he walked out of the room.

"Would you like me to bring you anything?" Jasper asked Alice.

"Well, that depends." She replied as she looked toward Edward.

"We can stop by the house on the way to Bella's." Edward offered.

I wondered if she'd asked him silently about stopping by the house.

"Besides, we can drop Emmett and Jasper off at the same time." Edward then turned to me. "Would you like time alone with your dad before we leave?"

"No, I'll just say goodbye and then we can go." I stood up and walked slowly to Charlie's room, leaned over and kissed his cheek, and said, "I'll see you tomorrow dad." Then I turned and took Edward's arm and walked out of the room. I trusted Carlisle and knew he would call the instant there was any change. I leaned against Edward because I felt light-headed.

Edward noticed I was having problems, so he picked me up and carried me out of the hospital. I just leaned my head against his shoulder and relaxed in his arms. He set me in the front seat of his Volvo and Alice, Jasper, and Emmett gracefully slid into the back seat.

"You know, we were really worried about you," Emmett started. "When Edward called Alice and said you were missing, we all went out looking for you. Of course, Edward found you, but we were all there when the ambulance and police arrived. Carlisle started treating you both as soon as you were safely removed from the wreckage."

"How badly was the car damaged?" I asked.

Jasper chuckled, "They had to use 'the Jaws of Life' to remove the doors. Carlisle wouldn't let Emmett or Edward rip them off before help arrived."

"It would have been so simple." Emmett growled.

"The car is totaled; even Rosalie couldn't fix it." Jasper supplied.

If the car was that bad and Charlie's airbag didn't deploy, it made me wonder how bad his injuries really were.

"Don't worry Bella, your dad will be fine," Alice informed me.

I turned around and looked at her. "Are you sure, Alice?"

"Yes, I am, and so will you." She reassured me.

"Thanks Alice, but I know I'll be okay; I have to be because I promised Edward I would stay safe."

Edward chuckled, "You call being in an accident staying safe?"

"Well, there's no permanent damage, just a few bruises." I thought _don't laugh at me_, and I briefly became irritated with him. "All things considered, Mr. Cullen," I said seriously, "I'd say yes. I wasn't driving," I heard him mutter 'Thank goodness' under his breath but ignored him, "by myself, there were no muggers around, and . . ." I had to think about what other dangers could have threatened me, besides the one that made me shudder the most because he almost killed me, ". . . and the wolves didn't get me." I concluded with a slight smile. "See, I stayed fairly safe."

The back seat filled with laughter; Emmett's was the loudest but Alice's was the sweetest.

Then Emmett ruffled my hair. "I don't think Edward counts that as staying safe, but knowing you, I'd say it could have been worse."

"By the way, that was a truly brave thing you did standing up to Billy and declaring you were a part of our family," Alice declared.

"Yes, the look on his face spoke volumes," Jasper added.

"Well, it bothers me that they are so close minded and see only one side." I felt anger rise up in me that Billy wouldn't even give the Cullen's the opportunity to prove that they didn't mean to harm anyone.

"That's the side they need to see," Edward interjected. "It's the side you refuse to see. We are dangerous; they should be weary of us."

That wasn't a point I'd argue, but he failed to understand that, for whatever reason that existed in me, I felt totally and undeniable safe around him. Maybe other humans did need to feel trepidation around Edward and his family, but my mind refused to accept that sentiment.

Jasper agreed. "He's right Bella. It isn't easy to fight our natural urge, but Alice is also right, it was brave."

"Hey, you can stand up for me anytime." Emmett tousled my hair.

All I could think was what a mess it must look, so he probably couldn't make it look any worse. Besides, it was such a brotherly thing to do, and I liked that.

"Thanks Emmett, but you can be intimidating enough. I don't think you really need me to defend you." Emmett would be intimidating even if he weren't a vampire. His build made him intimidating; he was all brawn but beautiful at the same time.

"True, but it is the thought that counts and you think enough of me to defend me to the Quileute." Emmett added.

"And why not; you're like the older brother I never had." I happily supplied.

"And that's how I want you to think of me. I'm now your older brother, so if anyone ever hurts you, just let me know and I'll correct the situation. That includes Edward as well."

I felt a giggle escape. I couldn't even imagine needing protection from Edward; it was a silly idea.

"Oh, and Bella, the next time you flirt with someone, can I watch." Emmett added.

What had Edward told them? I heard Jasper and Alice's muffled laugh and I glared at Edward. He couldn't have told them could he? I had to know. "Edward, you didn't!" I stated accusingly.

"I'm sorry Bella. I was explaining why Jacob broke the treaty." As he looked at me, it was as if his eyes were pleading with me to forgive him.

Inadvertently I blushed when he mentioned of Jacob. The whole scene on the beach while I was trying to pull information from Jacob about the Cullen's family was an embarrassment to me. I was ready to tell Edward how I felt about him sharing that information, but we had reached the house and I saw Esme approaching the car to greet us.

As soon as the Volvo stopped, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were out of the car, and Esme opened my door and hugged me. "I'm so glad you're okay and don't worry about your dad, Carlisle is one of the best doctor's around."

"I know Esme, and thank you for caring." I replied softly.

"I'll always care dear. You're one of my daughters now, remember, and the flowers were beautiful. Thank you," she kissed my cheek affectionately. "Are you both coming in?" She looked at Edward who was still behind the steering wheel.

Edward answered. "No, Carlisle has instructed Alice and me to take Bella home so we can feed her," he looked meaningfully at me probably chastising me for my failure to eat properly while he was gone. "And make her rest. Alice won't be home tonight. Carlisle thought it would be best if she stayed at Bella's in case Bella needed help with anything I wouldn't be allowed to help with." He gave me a wicked smile and I instantly blushed.

I knew he did that intentionally. Esme must've realized it also for, in her best mother's voice, she said, "Edward Anthony, behave your self." To me she said softly, "Bella, you take care of yourself. Do as Carlisle tells you and don't' worry about anything." Then she kissed my cheek again and walked back toward the house as Alice came out with Jasper escorting her.

I felt a little guilty about separating them even if it was for only one night, so as they reached the car I said, "You know Alice, you don't have to stay all night; you can slip out after dark."

"No, Carlisle said I should stay all night, and I don't like disobeying his requests. Beside, I'll see Jasper tomorrow."

I still felt guilty so I added, "Jasper could come over and stay as well. I don't mind."

"Thanks Bella," Jasper smiled, "But I think it would be better if I didn't."

I looked at him quizzically.

"The smell," he offered.

"Oh." I wasn't sure if he meant my smell or the fact that two humans lived in the house and it probably contained a strong scent of human blood.

Jasper passionately kissed Alice before helping her into the back seat. I hadn't meant to watch, but their kiss pulled at my heart. That was how I longed for Edward to kiss me.

As Edward drove us to Charlie's house, Alice leaned up against the back of my seat. "Bella, I really like the flowers. That was nice of you to do."

I couldn't help blushing, but not because I felt flattered but because it hadn't been my idea even though it should've been. "Alice, I must confess, it wasn't me who thought of the flowers as a thank you. It should've been because of all your help the past few months, but Charlie was the one who suggested I buy you flowers. He was right, and it was remiss of me not to find a way to say thank you sooner than this."

"That was sweet of him. I'll have to tell him thank you after he wakes up." Alice bubbled. "Do you realize this is my first sleep over? I've never spent the night at a friend's house. Of course, I've never had a human friend before either. Thanks Bella."

I hadn't really thought about the fact that Alice hadn't had a normal teenage life. That her memories began after being changed. _Alice missed so much_, I thought. Was that what Edward was afraid of, that I would feel like I'd missed all the normal teenage activities. Didn't he realize I'd never miss those types of things because I never had a desire to take part in them? It would have to be something we talked about, but not tonight. I didn't want to argue with him tonight.

"Well, it won't be a real sleep over," I told Alice with a smile, "because I'll be the only one sleeping, and unless you spend the night in my room, it also won't be a real sleepover."

"Hey, that's an idea." Alice's enthusiasm bubbled over. "We could stay up and talk and I could do you hair and your nails, and . . ."

"Stop right there." Edward commanded. "Bella needs her rest. Besides, I'm the only one who gets to spend the night in Bella's room."

That made me blush from my head down to my toes. Aloud, he was telling Alice we spent the nights together in my room. I imagined she already knew that, but now he had actually said it, and in front of me, knowing I'd blush at that confession.

"Edward, look what you did to her?" Alice accused. "I've never seen anyone turn that shade of red before. Bella," Alice hesitated, "what does it feel like to blush?"

"Alice!" Edward whipped around to look at her, a shocked expression on his face.

I knew he was saying something to her because of the expression on his face and his were moving rapidly, but then I realized he wasn't watching the road at all. One accident was enough; I didn't want to be in another one.

"Edward, eyes on the road please." I pleaded. As soon as he faced forward, I relaxed a little. "It's okay for Alice to ask; I don't mind." I realized this was the truth; I didn't mind. I felt sympathetic to Alice; it had to be hard not having any memories of a human life, and the human life she did have couldn't have been very memorable considering it was spent in an asylum. "I'll tell you inside." I told Alice as I noticed Edward was pulling into the drive, and for the first time since Thursday, I was actually feeling hungry.

Edward was at my door before I could unbuckle my seatbelt. He waited until I was done and then he helped me out of the car. "How are you feeling?"

Was he ever going to stop asking that? I had to wonder how many times I would have to say I'm fine before he would believe me. "I'm okay, Edward, really. I'm a little hungry, but other than that, I'm really okay."

"You're telling me the truth, right?" His eyes focused on mine, and I couldn't help but stare deeply into to them and promptly lose myself in them.

I was so lost and dazzled by his eyes that my next step faltered and Edward caught me in his arms.

"See, you're not alright. Why didn't you say you felt weak and needed help?" He admonished me.

"Because, until you dazzled me with you're eyes," I smiled, "I felt capable of walking. You have to learn to be more careful about how intensely you look at me, it just . . . oh, I don't know what words to use . . . I guess, I just go . . ."

"Weak in the knees?" He offered with his crooked smile.

"That's one way of putting it, but it's even more than that."

Edward had carried me in the house and proceeded up the stairs.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To bed."

I blushed again. "That statement can be interpreted in different ways depending on whose listening." I replied and shot a quick look at Alice who was following us.

"Edward, do you always say things to make Bella blush? That's twice now in the last few minutes," Alice teased.

"Okay," he chuckled, "so I'll rephrase my statement. I'm going to lie you down on your bed so you can rest. Better?"

"I'm hungry, Edward," I pleaded. "Can't I eat first?"

"Alice will fix you something to eat and you'll dine in bed." He looked me in the eye, "And no arguments."

I gave him my best pouting look. I didn't want to lie down; I wanted to visit. Well, truth be told, I wanted to be held and kissed, and cuddled by him. I had a longing deep inside of me for close contact with Edward, and it was a hurting ache only he could remove, but could I tell him this without him becoming concerned and telling me how he was causing me pain.

Before I could say anything, Edward said, "Alice, why don't you go downstairs and fix Bella something to eat."

I looked over Edward's shoulder and saw a surprised look on Alice's face, then she shrugged her shoulder's, turned around, and danced down the stairs. Oh, how I envied her. That's how I wanted to be able to walk, no tripping or ungraceful moves, just light airy graceful movements.

Edward swept into my room and gently laid me on my bed. Then he pulled out a cell phone from his pocket and handed it to me. "Here, call your mom. Carlisle told her you'd call as soon as you arrived home, and no, you can't go downstairs to call her, you'll talk to her and rest at the same time."

How did he know I was going to suggest I call from downstairs? Had I really hit my head in the accident and it caused my mind to be readable by him? I stared at him, then the phone in my hand and back at him. "Edward, how did you know I'd ask that?" I was inquisitive; I had to know how he knew.

"I read it in your face. Sometimes, but those are limited, I can tell what you're going to do or say by your look, but most of the time what you say and do comes as a complete surprise. Now, be a good girl and call your mom." Then he ruffled my hair.

Well, if he was going to treat me like a child, I decided I'd act like one, so I stuck my tongue out at him. He promptly laughed. I ignored his laugh by dialing mom's number. She must have been sitting by the phone for she picked it up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, mom."

"Bella! Where are you calling from?" Her tone told me how concerned she was.

"I'm at home in bed, and I'm fine mom. Nothing's broken or out of place." I kept my tone light so as not to worry her.

"Oh, I wondered if you were still in the hospital because a different number registered on the caller ID."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Edward loaned me his cell phone. He's making me rest while I'm talking to you." I looked over at Edward, but I saw a frown on his face. Had I said something wrong? Then he mouthed, 'I'll be right back.'

"Edward is there with you?"

"Yes, and so is Alice. They brought me home and Alice is making me something to eat, an order from Dr. Cullen."

"Are you sure you're okay? I was so worried when Dr. Cullen called. Bella, why are these things always happening to you? You have to be more careful."

"It's okay mom. It was just an accident. You should be more concerned about Charlie than about me. He is in a coma."

"What?"

"Didn't Dr. Cullen tell you about that?"

"No, he just said you and Charlie were in the hospital but not to worry and that you would call later this afternoon after he discharged you. What happened Bella?"

"We were in a car accident. The car swerved and hit a tree. Charlie's airbag didn't deploy and he hit his head on the steering wheel. Dr. Cullen said it is normal for someone with a head wound like that to be in a coma for a couple of days. He thinks Charlie will come out of it in a day or two and then he'll know if there is any permanent damage or not. As soon as I learn anything else, I'll let you know."

"You call me even if it is the middle of the night. I want you to keep me informed, and if you need anything, you call. I can come out and stay with you if you need me to."

"No mom, Alice will be staying with me, and besides, you hate Forks, remember. I wouldn't think of asking you to drop everything to come here. I'm fine, and the all the Cullens will make sure I have everything I need."

"Well, don't over do it. You rest up and take care of yourself, but do call if you need anything."

"Don't worry mom. If I need something, I imagine either Alice or Esme will be happy to help me, and I will rest. Dr. Cullen has already ordered me to stay home and rest tomorrow."

"You won't be alone will you?"

"No mom, I won't," but I wouldn't tell her that it would be Edward who would be staying with me and not Alice. No need to worry her unduly, she was still getting use to the idea that what I felt for Edward was more than just a teenage crush.

Just then, I heard a crash coming from the kitchen. I was beginning to wonder what Alice was doing down there, and what could I expect as a meal. Would it even be edible? Then it struck me, Alice didn't know how to cook. How could Edward have expected her to fix me something to eat? That was mean of him.

"Well, you just remember to call if you need me. Okay honey?"

"I promise mom."

"Well, you get some rest, and do call me if anything changes for you or Charlie."

"Okay mom."

"I love you Bella."

"And I love you too mom, bye."

"Bye dear," I heard her phone click.

I was about to get out of bed to see what had happened downstairs. I had already sat up and was swinging my legs off the side of the bed when I heard Edward from the doorway, "Oh no you don't. You lay right back down. I told you not to get out of bed." He had a tray in his hands but I couldn't tell what was on it.

I smiled over at him as I made myself comfortable. "What broke?" I asked innocently.

"Nothing broke. Maybe dented a little, but not broken." He smiled.

"Edward, how could you send Alice to the kitchen? Did she take cooking lesson from the food channel with you?" I meant to sound scolding, but it came out more as a teasing question.

"That's why I went downstairs to help. She had no idea what to make or how to make it."

I saw Alice standing in the door and I motioned her to come in. "Really Edward, you need to be more considerate of others. Of course, Alice wouldn't know what to do, just like the first time I asked you what you were making for my breakfast. Remember?" I thought Alice should know he was just as lost at one time, as she had been. I heard Alice's musical laugh. "So, what am I getting to eat? No irritable grizzly, I hope." I couldn't help but add the last, but I could see Edward wasn't amused even though Alice was.

"No." he replied gruffly, "a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk." He placed the tray on my lap.

I wasn't sure where the tray came from. I was familiar enough with the contents of the kitchen that I knew there were no trays in Charlie's kitchen, and I was hungry enough to eat the irritable grizzly. "Is that it?" I could hear the disappointment in my voice.

"Well, leftovers from last night are out because they sat out all night, and there isn't much in the refrigerator that isn't frozen. This was the best I could do on short notice. Eat this and let's see if you're still hungry afterwards." He coaxed.

I wasn't about to decline the offer of what was set in front of me, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be enough. I felt funny about being the only one eating and Alice, seated in my rocking chair, seemed entranced by my eating habits. Even Edward seemed fascinated as I devoured the sandwich. In fact, as I ate the last bite and finished my glass of milk, he raised his eyebrow in surprise.

"Bella, I never saw you eat that fast before." Edward commented.

"I told you I was hungry."

"When did you eat last?"

I was afraid we would get back to that question. "Uhm . . . Thursday," I hesitantly replied.

"Bella!"

"Don't shout."

"I wasn't shouting."

"Yes you were."

"Now, now children," Alice reprimanded. Then she laughed that lilting musical laugh of hers.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to yell. It just shocked me. Why haven't you eaten?" Edwards's voice was laced with concern.

"I don't know. I wasn't hungry and every thing I tried to eat tasted like cardboard, so I didn't eat it."

"This is because of me, isn't it?" He was frowning.

I hated it when he took the blame for everything. "No Edward. This is because of me. I can't help but miss you when you're gone and I lose interest in everything around me. And if you start to blame yourself for my emotions, then I'll . . ." I was totally at a loss of what I could do about it.

"You'll what?" He had that crooked smile.

I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking he'd won the argument because I couldn't think of anything I could do about it, but then I had an idea. "I won't let you kiss me and I won't kiss you for a week." Well, that wiped the smile off his face. The problem was I didn't believe I could've followed through with my threat, but I hoped he hadn't realized that.

"Really?" His face registered the shock of my words. Maybe he did believe me.

"Really," I smiled sweetly. Maybe I could bluff him, if he didn't call my bluff.

"Really?" He leaned in closely, his lips only an inch from mine.

His scent was so strong, but I chanted in my head, _If I give in now I'll lose_. I had to hold firm; I had to think of something else. Then my stomach saved me; it rumbled. "I'm still hungry Edward. Can you get me a pizza?" I smiled into his dazzling eyes and managed to keep my lips from his luscious tempting cold lips.

"Okay, you win this time, but only because you're the invalid and you need nourishment." He smiled back. He brushed his lips against mine and told Alice before he left, "keep her company but make sure she stays in bed and out of trouble." Then he left.

Alice got up, waltzed over, and sat on the edge of my bed. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" I wasn't sure what she meant.

"Resist Edward when he was so close. I know what his scent and his eyes should do to you, but you resisted. How?" She leaned in closer.

"I reminded myself that if I gave in I'd lose, and besides, it helped that I'm still hungry because I could focus on my hunger rather than his eyes and scent. It doesn't always work, but I did have a stronger need."

"Yah, hunger can push other things aside at time. Remember that, because Edward is afraid that if his hunger ever gets out of control while he's around you, then it'll override his desire to keep you safe."

"I've wondered about that. He keeps saying it gets easier, but I've wondered at times whether he was being truthful."

"Well, at times it's probably true but never forget we're predators first and foremost even though we hunt animals."

"Thanks, Alice; I'll keep that in mind." Of all the Cullens, I knew Alice was the one who would always be honest with me, even though Edward preferred she didn't.

"Now tell me, what does it feel like to blush?" She smiled as she asked.

"Well, I feel a warmth creeping up my skin. I can always tell when I blushing because my skin becomes warmer, and the warmer it feels the deeper the blush is, but it's always embarrassing because when I blush everyone knows I've said or done something I'm embarrassed by or they've said or done something that embarrasses me. If Edward doesn't know what makes me blush, then he asks, and I generally have to tell him. He becomes persistent if I don't answer, and he always seems to imagine it was caused by something worse than what it really was. Like when Emmett kissed me in the parking lot last week. Edward had to find out why I blushed. He thought it was because of the kiss; you know, like I enjoyed it or something, but that wasn't the reason. I had to convince him I blushed because I was embarrassed by the kiss."

"Why did it embarrass you?" Curiosity flashed in her golden eyes.

"Because everyone was watching, and Edward was standing right there, and . . . it didn't seem right, you know, being kissed by your boyfriend's brother." I felt the warmth rushing into my face and knew I was blushing again.

"So why are you blushing now?" I noticed she was more curious than ever.

I laughed, "You're as bad as Edward wanting to know what caused it."

"So?" She drew that word out and then waited for my answer.

"Because the fact that he kissed me still embarrasses me; Alice, I'm not use to being kissed by boys; well, Emmett's not really a boy, but anyway, those of the male persuasion. I still find it embarrassing to be kissed and especially in public. Don't get me wrong, it was a nice kiss as kisses go, but it'll never measure up to Edward's."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that, but why are you talking about Emmett kissing you?" Edward asked from the doorway.

And maybe to prove my point to Alice about embarrassment, I blushed a deep red. "I was only answering a question about blushing for Alice."

"See, kissing Emmett was a blushing moment for you. It must have been memorable kiss." He teased.

I decided this had gone too far; so I tried to look as if I was in deep thought and then I replied, "On a scale of one to ten, I'd give it a nine."

Alice burst out laughing, but Edward only growled.

"Oh come on Edward, she's only teasing just like you were teasing her. So Bella, how would you rate Edward's kisses?" Alice had a lilting laugh in her voice.

This could be fun, I decided. "Hum, give me a moment to think." I tapped my finger against my lips as if I were in deep thought. "Well, if I were to grade his on the one to ten scale, then I guess . . . I guess . . . I'd probably give it a . . ." I could tell Edward was becoming a little upset, so I decided to put his mind at rest. "Okay, I'd definitely give Edward's a twenty."

Edward chuckled and changed the subject. "Are you still hungry?"

"Yes, I'm ravenous." Then I gave him a sweet smile. "Edward, could I have another glass of milk please?"

He smiled, picked up my empty glass and went downstairs.

I surprised Alice and Edward by eating half of the pizza. I knew I was hungry, but I didn't think they had believed me when I first told them how hungry I was. We spent the rest of the late afternoon and evening talking about various subjects. I stayed in the bed with Edward beside me and his arms wrapped around me, and Alice sat in the rocking chair. We talked about school, places we'd lived, and Charlie. A few times, I felt tears rolling down my cheek, but Alice would always assure me that Charlie would be fine and that I didn't need to worry about him. I loved Edward, and I had waited all weekend to spend time alone with him, but because of the accident, I was very grateful that Alice had spent her time with us.

Around nine o'clock, Edward decided I needed to sleep, so Alice decided to go downstairs, and I withdrew to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. I saw Edward waiting on my bed when I returned. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to Edward.

"Are you tired?" Edward inquired.

I wouldn't admit it to him, but I was tired. "No, I want to enjoy you're company for awhile. I was so lonely while you were gone."

"What about your friends at school?"

"Oh yeah. How could I forget about Mike? I should've invited him over to keep me company while you were gone." I scowled. "Yeah sure, that would've been fun."

"I meant the girls you're friends with." Edward corrected.

"Well, Jessica only talks about Mike, which gets boring, and if he knows she's going to talk to me, he tags along and stares at me longingly. That gets annoying. Lauren doesn't like me so I avoid her. That leaves Angela and I did spend some time with her Saturday after she took me to buy flowers."

"Did you talk about boys?" I heard curiosity in his voice.

"No, we talked mostly about books and school. Maybe that's why I like Angela over the others. I can have a real conversation with her." I snuggled closer to Edward. "Did you miss me?" I needed to know if our separation was any easier for him than me.

"Terribly. I couldn't wait to come home. If it had been up to me, we would have left late Saturday rather than Sunday morning. I was anxious to see you, to make sure you were okay, and what did I find upon my return – you missing." Edward's hold on me tightened slightly. "Do you know what that did to me?"

"No what?" I wanted more than anything to know his feelings, to have him share them with me.

"Scared that I might not find you, or that I'd find you had left me. If I had a heart that beat, it might have stopped completely." He chuckled slightly and kissed the top of my head.

I turned myself around so I was facing him. "Edward, it will never be me who leaves, unless I am unwillingly dragged away by something unstoppable." I buried my face into his neck as I said this and then kissed his neck.

"Bella, don't even talk like that. One day you may find that you crave a normal life of sunshine and a family of your own."

Since he didn't pull away from my lips, I kept kissing his neck in between my words. "I already have sunshine . . . you're my sun and I'll bask in you light . . . and I have a family . . . you're my family . . . you're all I want . . . you are my life." His skin was so smooth and I enjoyed the coolness on my lips. I moved my kisses up his chin and around the corners of his mouth.

"Bella, what are you doing?" He moaned slightly.

"Exploring." I murmured. "Don't you like it?"

"I like it too much."

"Should I stop?" I was still kissing the corners of his mouth and his bottom lip.

"Yes . . . no . . . I don't know." He breathed out heavily; his scent filled my senses and I was briefly light-headed.

Then he gently kissed me on the lips and started moving his lips over my eyelids, nose, and down into the crook of my neck, but he didn't stop there. His lips traveled across my left shoulder and as he made his way back toward my neck, his lips moved a little lower. I felt shivers moving up and down my spine and small shock waves pulsating throughout my body until I heard soft moans coming out of my mouth. I wasn't sure how my reaction was affecting Edward, but I knew what his actions were doing to me. Finally, his lips met mine and I couldn't hold back any more. When I felt his lips on mine, I did the one thing I tried hard not to do. I entwined my fingers in his hair and pulled his mouth as close to mine as possible. I felt my tongue touch his lips, and then was kissing air. How he managed to move out of the bed so fast I wasn't sure, but I was shocked, disappointed, and angry with myself all at one time. My emotions were so overwhelming that the tears just flowed and I had to hide my face in my pillow to muffle my sobs.

"Bella!" As fast as he had left me, he was sitting beside me and holding me closely to his chest. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or upset you."

Between sobs I was able to say, "Not you, me."

"What?"

"It wasn't your fault. It was mine," and I cried more.

"No. It's never your fault. I should have more control of my emotions. I should never endanger you be letting them control me."

His words helped me to assemble my thoughts and slow down my crying. Yes, I was mad at myself because I lost control, but now I was slightly upset with him for taking all the responsibility. "Edward," I tried to sound stern, but a small sob escaped. "I'm just as much to blame as you are. You will not blame yourself. I started this, and if I'm truthful, I wanted this. I want you Edward. I want to feel you kissing me, touching me, and holding me so close that I can't breathe. These are normal feelings when someone is in love." We were interrupted with a soft knocking on the door.

"What?" Edward growled.

"Is everything okay?" Alice asked softly.

"Go away," Edward replied.

But I quickly said, "Come in," and she did. I was glad it was dark in the room so I couldn't see Edward's face. I didn't want to know if he was shocked or mad because of inviting Alice in.

"Are you okay Bella?" I could hear the concern in her voice.

"Yes, we're both fine. Just a misunderstanding." I hesitated a moment. I wanted to ask Alice a very personal question, but I didn't want to embarrass her or upset Edward, but the desire to hear another opinion was so strong that I could stop myself. "Alice, you really love Jasper, don't you?"

"Yes, very much."

"When the two of you are extremely close . . . uhm, do you . . . well, do you lose control . . . you know, emotionally."

Alice laughed lightly. "You mean do I physically and emotionally become romantically inclined."

"Well . . . yes." I could feel myself intensely blushing.

"Yes, I do."

"Is it more your fault or Jasper's when that happens?"

"Neither, why? Did I miss something interesting?" she chuckled.

"No." Edward growled again. "You can leave."

"Edward," Alice started hesitantly, "If I understand, even a little, what might have happened, then I should tell you, what you and Bella are both feeling is absolutely natural and mutual. It is not one-sided. This is just as hard for her as it is for you; I mean the passion part, not the thirst part. Don't get mad at her for feeling that way. She . . ."

"Alice, I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at myself," Edward interrupted.

"I'm mad at me," I added. "But I'm also upset at Edward that he tries to take all the blame on himself."

Alice laughed again. "I can see that the two of you have a lot to learn about sharing, even blame has to be shared at times. Edward, we all get carried away when we're in love. This would be so much simpler for both of you if you . . ."

"Don't even go there Alice," Edward warned.

"Okay. Then realize this Edward, these feelings are not something that will just stop. They will always be there under the surface waiting to rise up and spill out, and they aren't anybody's fault, they just are. It's a part of truly being in love with someone."

"Thank you Alice." I offered.

"You're welcome Bella. I'll see you both in the morning." Alice turned and walked out the door.

"See," I told Edward, "I'm just as much to blame as you are, so stop trying to take all the guilt. I'm sorry I lost control, but I'm not sorry that I felt that way. Edward, whether you believe this or not, I love you more than life itself."

"No, Bella. I don't want you to choose me over life. You have your whole life in front of you and I don't want to steal that away from you."

"Edward, don't you understand. You're my life; without you, there isn't anything, just a big empty lonely whole."

"Bella . . ."

"No, don't argue with me. I know what I'm saying and I know what I mean. I'm just sorry that you can't accept it as the truth." All this time he had been holding me and hadn't let me go. I knew he loved me, I just wished he understood how much I loved him.

"I think you need to sleep. This had been a trying weekend for you, and Carlisle will be upset if you walk into the hospital tomorrow looking exhausted." With that, he helped me lay down with my back to his chest. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close.

"I love you with my whole being Edward; that will never change." I said as rested against him.

"Shhh . . . sleep now," and then he started to hum my lullaby.

I woke up the next morning with slivers running down my spine because of icy cold lips caressing my neck. It felt so enjoyable, I wasn't sure if I wanted to wake up, unfortunately, Edward could always tell when I was awake because my breathing altered.

"Good morning angel of my life," he whispered softly.

"No, you're the angel in my life. I, on the other hand, am just a constant temptation in your life." I caressed his arms that were still wrapped around my waist.

He moved his lips across my neck. "Should we argue about that statement?" He asked and then began kissing my neck.

"No because it's a subjective point of view. I see it one-way and you see it another. We would never agree and I don't want to get mad at myself for ruining a beautiful day by arguing with you. Besides, I'd rather have you kiss me than argue with me."

"I like that idea." Then he carefully flipped me around to face him and rolled us both over so he was on top of me bracing himself up on his arms. "Are you hungry?" He asked.

I giggled because of the thought that popped into my head. I couldn't help but reply, "Only for your kisses."

To which he kissed me carefully on the lips. I decided he was being careful so I wouldn't get carried away as I did last night.

"To rephrase that question, are you hungry for food?"

"What time is it?" I hadn't thought to look at the clock, and it was so overcast outside that it was impossible to tell what time of day it was.

"Noon." He commented before kissing me again.

If he kept kissing me, I would never have any reason to want to leave my bed. "Your kisses are delicious, your scent is delicious, your nearness is delicious – so who needs food." I had been so lost in our closeness and the affects he had on my senses that I had forgotten all about Charlie until that very moment. "Oh!" I exclaimed as I pushed Edward away.

"What?" He drew away quickly but still held himself over me.

I could hear the fear in his voice and realized he had thought he hurt me. "Edward," I added quickly, "has your dad called about Charlie at all?"

"No. Is that what the 'oh' was about?" He seemed to relax a little.

"I feel so guilty," I confessed. "I woke up this morning and didn't even think about him. How could I do that Edward?" I was shocked at my lack of concern for Charlie. How could I be so uncaring?

"Easy. The last two days were very stressful for you. First, you were missing me, then the accident occurred, and finally waking up in the hospital and finding your dad in a coma. All of that was stressful, and last night you slept so deeply that you never utter on word. It is perfectly reasonable for you to have temporarily forgotten about yesterday's events. Of course, it didn't help that I occupied your mind with other emotions as you were waking," He admitted.

Edward got up out of bed.

"Where are you going?" I felt instantly insecure.

"To make you some lunch and to let you have your human moment. What would you like for lunch?"

"A piece of pizza and a glass of milk." I smiled at him and saw a puzzled look on his face.

"Okay, I guess. Will you eat it cold?"

Edward could cook complicated meal, but he looked stumped about heating up one piece of pizza. I felt my smile widen. Here was something I could do without thinking about it, and he looked lost.

"What are you smiling at?" He walked over to me, pulled me out of bed, and wrapped his arms around me.

"The look on your face." I smiled up at him and kissed his chin. "I want my piece of pizza heated up. Just put it on a plate, drape a piece of paper towel over it, and put it in the microwave for about twenty seconds."

"Is that all there is to it?" He grinned and returned my kiss by planting one on my forehead.

"Yes, but it will take me longer to shower and brush my teeth."

"Maybe I'll wait here until you're done in the shower and then heat your lunch while you're brushing your teeth." He picked me up so my mouth was even with his.

"Okay, but I can't do anything until you put me down." I murmured. I enjoyed being in his arms, and I enjoyed the sense of security I felt.

"Do you really want me to put you down?" He chuckled.

"No, I like this. Anything that includes me being in your arms is heavenly to me. Lunch can wait, I'm in no hurry."

"Are you sure?" He followed that with a few kisses on my neck.

"Yes." As I replied, I leaned my head back exposing more of my neck.

Edward carried me back to the bed and laid down with me. We spent some quality time just kissing and cuddling, until my stomach started grumbling about not being feed. That was Edward's cue to send me off to have my human moment.


	13. BellaSitting Edward 2

_AN: Disclaimer – none of these marvelous characters belong to me; they are all the creation of Stephenie Meyer. Thank you Stephenie for letting me use them._

_Okay, I know it took a while, but here is Edward's PoV of Bella-Sitting. It is the longest chapter I have written so far. I hope everyone enjoys it. I also hope the next chapter is not quite as long. Thanks for being patient._

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Chapter 13 (The first part is a repetition of Chapter 11)

Bella-Sitting- Edward

I realized Charlie was also gone; he would never have let Bella drive herself, and if someone else had driven her, he would have gone looking for her when she didn't come home. I decided Charlie probably drove Bella to our house, but they never arrived back home. I called home immediately and asked for Alice. I filled her in on what I knew and asked her if she could see anything about Bella or Charlie, but all she saw was blackness. She said the blackness was different than seeing nothing, so it had to mean they were both alive but probably unconscious. I had her tell Emmett and Jasper to both follow the road and look for signs of an accident, and to carry a cell phone with them. I cursed myself for not having one with me, but I was not going back home to get one. I would start from this end and watch for signs of the cruiser.

I couldn't travel as fast as I usually did because I didn't want to miss anything. A flash of color or marks on the road or the side that looked like a car went off were what I carefully watched for. My thoughts focused on Bella. On her lilting laugh, her gorgeous smile, her beautiful face, her luscious lips, her radiant blushes, and effervescent personality – everything that made Bella Bella. I had to find her; I wouldn't allow her to leave me this way.

I felt like I had been on the road forever with no sign of the car, until I caught a slight scent of blood, not Bella's blood but still human blood. I followed the scent and found the car. The front was wrapped around a tree and I could see an airbag on the passenger's side, but I noticed there wasn't one on the driver's side. As I rapidly approached the car, I could distinguish two heartbeats, one slower than the other. _Please, Bella, be okay_ was the only thought running through my mind as I approached the car. Her window was slightly down but crackled into millions of tiny lines. I would have to be careful that the glass did not fall on Bella's inert form. She was so still, flaccidly leaning back against the seat.

When I reached Bella's side of the car, I carefully pulled the splintered window out, being careful to direct the falling glass out of the car. I leaned in and softly called Bella's name. At first, I wouldn't hear what she was saying even though I saw her lips moving. Then, very faintly, I thought I heard her say, "The wolves are here." I called her name again, trying to make her aware of the fact that I was with her and that everything would be okay.

Her eyes finally flutter open just a fraction and she whispered. "You came."

A laugh escaped my mouth, it was a Bella comment, and I felt relieved. I knew she would be okay once we got her out of the car.

I heard someone moving noisily through the woods and called out, "Emmett, Jasper?" I figured it was Emmett because Jasper is generally quieter.

"We're almost there," I heard Emmett reply.

"Call Carlisle and then an ambulance and the police. Jasper, you'd better stay back, Charlie has lost a lot of blood." I warned. I knew he had just satisfied his hunger but felt it wasn't wise to tempt him with fresh blood.

"I'm going to get Alice. She wants to be here." He replied before I heard him moving away.

"They're on their way." Emmett stood beside me looking at the wreckage. "Can we get them out of the cruiser?"

"No, it's best not to move them. We wouldn't want to cause more internal damage, if there is any."

"So what do we do? Just wait?" Emmett was frustrated. _She looks so vulnerable just laying there. Why doesn't he do something?_

"Emmett, even though I want to take her out of the car, it is best not to." I felt as frustrated as he sounded. I hated seeing Bella just lying there, I wanted to pick her up and cradle her in my arms.

"Well, it just doesn't seem right. She looks so helpless, and we can't do anything to help her. What if she were dying? She's not is she?"

"No Emmett, her heart rate is steady, and she hasn't lost any blood. I think she's just unconscious." _Or passed out from the scent of the blood,_ I thought. "Charlie is the one who was bleeding, and if you'll notice, there was no airbag to stop him from hitting his head on the steering wheel."

"The scent is really strong." _Good thing I'm not hungry. What's taking them so long?_

I needed something to keep Emmett occupied until help arrived, then I remember Bella saying something about wolves. "Emmett, Bella mentioned something about wolves coming. Why don't you look around and see if there are any tracks?"

"And maybe have a snack," he chuckled.

Leave it to Emmett to find humor even in an emergency.

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"How is she?"

I had been so focused on Bella, that I didn't hear Carlisle arriving. "Her pulse is weak but steady, but Charlie's is weaker and he seems to have lost a lot of blood."

"Head wounds are like that. I'd like to get them out of the car. Have you tried opening the door?"

"I didn't want to move her until you got here." I reached for the door handle and was careful not to pull harder than a human would, but I found the door would not budge. "The door's stuck."

"Try Charlie's." Carlisle reached through the window to check Bella's vital signs.

"Can I help?" Alice danced over to Charlie's side of the car.

"Yes, why don't you go home and retrieve the car so we can drive to the hospital. It might look awkward with all of being here without a car." I should have thought of that earlier.

"Already taken care of, Carlisle and I came in the car. What's Emmett doing?"

"Looking for wolf tracks; Bella mentioned seeing wolves before she passed out."

"Okay, I'll go help him look," and she danced off in Emmett's direction.

"Carlisle, this one's stuck also."

Carlisle came over and checked Charlie's vital signs, and then checked the wound on his head. "The bleeding seems to have stopped, but there is a nasty gash. Why don't you hand me my bag and I'll see if I can clean some of the blood off of his face."

I retrieved his bag from Bella's side of the car. "It would help if I could remove the doors off." I admitted.

Emmett had walked up behind me. "Why don't we just yank it off? It'll save time." Emmett suggested.

"No," Carlisle said, "We don't want anyone asking awkward questions about how we got the doors off, especially since this is a police car, and I suspect, it will be examined closely because of the driver's airbag."

I heard the sirens in the distance and knew it wouldn't be long before Bella would be lying in a bed and Carlisle would be able to determine if she had any serious injuries.

It took the emergency assistance crew half an hour to get Bella and her father out of the car because they had to pry both doors off. Carlisle assured me that Bella had only minor injuries and she would able to go home sometime that afternoon, but he said Charlie was in worse shape and might even be in a coma. While the crew was working on the doors, Carlisle called Bella's mom to let her know about the accident. I was glad he didn't ask me to make the call. It was bad enough having to watch and wait while the emergency crew took forever to get Bella out of the wreckage that I don't think I could have calmly told her mother about the accident. More than anything, I wanted to hold Bella and touch her angelic face.

I also began thinking about the last time Bella talked to her mother. It was right after she sent the email telling her mother she intended to marry me. I had never thought that far ahead in our relationship. I liked the idea; no, like was too simple a word. The idea of being married to Bella was heavenly; it would be my heaven on earth, but it would be a hell for her. Even though I would be happy married to Bella, it wouldn't be in her best interest. She didn't deserve this existence, she deserved a real life with a real future, and I could never offer that to her. Looking at her as she lay in the wreckage only reminded me of how I was jeopardizing her life and her future. If I were fair to her, I would leave her while I still could, but inside my heart was willing me to stay. For a dead organ, my heart seemed extremely active where Bella was concerned. It might not beat but it did ache when I wasn't around her. How could I stay with her, yet how could I leave her? I needed to confront this dilemma in the near future before I ruined her life forever.

Bella and her father were finally situated in the ambulance with Carlisle, and Emmett, Alice, and I followed it to the hospital in my Volvo. Bella and her father were in adjacent rooms, and Carlisle was quick to reassure me that Bella's only real injury would be the bruises on her arms.

I sat quietly at Bella's bedside patiently waiting for her to regain consciousness. Carlisle was sure her condition was caused partly from the shock of the accident and partly from exhaustion. I had to inform him about her aversion to the scent of blood because I was sure she had passed out from being so close to the scent for so long.

As I waited, I would occasionally caress Bella's face. I longed for her to open her eyes and tell me she was fine even though she wasn't. In fact, I wanted to hear her argue that there was nothing wrong with her and that she was ready to go home. I remembered that Bella didn't like hospitals and would be more than happy to leave as soon as possible, even if she couldn't walk out under her own will power.

At one point, I noticed Bella's breathing change and I knew she had entered a deep sleep stage. It relieved me to know she was no longer classified as unconscious but only sleeping. I caressed her face more often; when she woke up, I wanted my touch to be the first thing she recognized.

After waiting about four hours, I noticed Bella turning her head slowly toward me.

Then, in a dry cracked voice, she said, "Hello. I missed you."

I was elated that her first words were directed at me, but I reminded myself that I needed to attend to her health. Carlisle had mentioned that she would be thirsty when she woke up so he placed a cup of water beside her bed. "Here, drink this." I carefully lifted her head and held the cup to her dry cracked lips.

Bella drank deeply, but then became agitated. "Charlie! Where is Charlie?" I could hear the panic in her voice.

"Calm down, Bella. He's here, but in another room." She needed to lie back down, and there was no way I would allow her out of bed until Carlisle gave his approval.

"But how is he? He was bleeding a lot."

I saw concern and panic in her eyes. How did she know he was bleeding a lot? I knew she could smell the blood, but did she see it also?

"It made me nauseous and light-headed, and the smell was stronger. I think I kept passing out because of the smell. I think it attracted the wolves."

I kept wondering had she really seen them; neither Emmett nor Alice found any tracks in close proximity to the accident. "I didn't see any when I finally found you." I assured her.

"I saw a number of wolves walking round outside; I was afraid they would come through the windows. They had funny looking eyes. They seemed to glow." She stared fixedly at the ceiling.

What was she seeing or thinking? "Bella, I didn't see any wolves. I didn't see any tracks of any animals around the car. Are you sure you really saw them?" I watched her face for any confusion about what she saw or remembered. It was possible that the wolves were something she imagined while unconscious.

"I'm sure Edward. I may have blacked out right after that, but I'm positive I saw them, and you didn't answer my question about Charlie. Is he okay?" She grew more agitated.

It was time to tell her the truth, and I hoped it wouldn't upset her more. "He's in a coma."

She sat up quickly and her fear instantly registered on her heavenly face.

"Calm down, Bella. Carlisle says it's not surprising considering the injury to his head. His airbag didn't deploy and his head struck the steering wheel. He obtained a gash on his head and that's why there was so much blood."

I heard her heart rate becoming more erratic and her breathing was more labored. "Will he be okay? Will he come out of it?" Fear gushed forth from her voice.

"He'll be fine, really Bella. Just give him time to heal a little. Carlisle thinks the coma may last a day or two and then he should wake up. You'll be fine too. You haven't asked about your injuries?"

Bella reached up and touched my face, and I felt her warm caress that started tingles down my spine.

"I haven't asked because I don't feel any pain. Am I hurt Edward?" Her love reflected through her smile.

"What am I going to do with you? You worry about everyone but yourself. I want you to be more careful with yourself. I don't want anything bad happening to you ever again, but the magnet in you just draws in every bad event it can find." She was so selfless. She always put others before herself.

"But I didn't go out looking for an accident. We were only leaving flowers for Esme and Alice. How was I supposed to know something like this would happen? Why didn't Alice see this?"

"When did you decide to go over to the house?"

That was an insightful question to ask, and Bella was always more perceptive than other humans. "Saturday around dinner time."

"I think Alice was too busy hunting. Remember how I said that we lose control during those times? Alice would have been too busy concentrating on her . . . um . . ." Without being graphic, how could I put this delicately?

"Dinner?" Bella prompted as she smiled slightly, but a laugh danced in her eyes.

"Okay, dinner." I enjoyed her offer, but that wasn't a term I'd normally use to describe our feeding habits. "She was too focused on her dinner to see anything connected to the accident. When I found your house empty, I was scared." Scared? I felt much more than that. I panicked and visions of Bella lying on the dance floor broken and bleeding flooded through my mind. "I couldn't fathom where you could have gone, but then I remembered the flowers and wondered whom you found to help deliver them. I decided I would back track to the house and carefully scan the surrounding areas looking for what happened." I remembered creating a visual picture of Bella leaving the flowers and smiling as she walked toward a car. Then my mind shifted to Bella slumped seemingly lifeless in the wreckage. "When I saw you slumped over in the car – Bella, I thought you were seriously injured because of the smell of the blood, but then I realized that none of it smelled of you." Even though it wasn't Bella's blood, the scent hit me as I neared the car; my overwhelming concern for Bella's safety helped override the scent of Charlie's blood. "You weren't moving, but I could hear your shallow breathing. I thought the worst. Bella, you can't keep doing this to me. I don't ever want to see you like that again. Phoenix was the worst, but this wasn't good either. I don't want to lose you like that." I reached out and took her in my arms.

Bella tightened her hold on me making me wonder what was going through her mind while I had been sharing with her.

I noticed a difference in her scent and it worried me. "How are you feeling?"

"My arms hurt." Her face was buried against my chest.

I felt her words vibrating against my chest and I enjoyed the sensation. "It's because of the bruises."

"What bruises?" She mumbled but stayed nestled in my arms.

She was so selfless. She always put others before herself but that scared me because it made her careless of herself. Maybe that was why she had so many mishaps. "You see, I told you. You worry more about others than yourself. When the airbag deployed, the panel must've hit your arms. Did you raise them during the crash?"

She paused fleetingly before giving her disjointed answer. "I think . . . I vaguely remember . . . raising them in front of my face."

"Well, bruised arms are better than a broken nose." I kissed her forehead.

"Edward, did you go to my house before you found us?"

"Yes. Why?"

"How come you didn't see us on the way to my house?"

Once again, her question showed just how perceptive she was even though she was recovering from the accident. Bella never ceased to amaze me, and that fact made her more endearing to me.

"I was in such a hurry that I took a short cut through the woods. I missed you, and I couldn't wait to be by your side. If I had followed the road, then I would have seen the car even though it had gone off the road a bit and was further in the trees. Any other passing car wouldn't have seen it, but I would've if I had gone that way." Had I followed the road, I would have found Bella much sooner, but that fact still wouldn't have prevented the accident. Why hadn't I ask Alice to check on Bella Saturday evening in time to prevent this accident from ever happening? Once again, I had let Bella down, and as a result, she was lying in a hospital bed slightly injured, but the slight injuries were still a result of my negligence.

"Edward, can I see him?"

"Not until Carlisle says it's okay for you to leave this bed." I wouldn't allow her out of bed until Carlisle informed me that Bella would be fine, yet I continued wondering why her scent smelled different. I remembered the Port Angeles incident and knew the reason for the change, but this was different and I couldn't decipher how it was different.

"This bed is lonely and uncomfortable." She sounded so forlorn that it tugged at my cold heart. My heart may have ceased beating over ninety years ago, but with the appearance of Bella in my life, my heart has gone through a number of emotions I wasn't aware it could experience.

I answered her subtle request by slipping instantly on the bed beside her. I held her and enjoyed the warmth radiating from her body. Her scent still troubled me because I knew there was something different, but the softness of her body and the rapid beating of her heart focused my mind on just her body and I began to ignore her blood. My mind began imagining what it would be like to hold her without the fear of crushing her and wanting to sink my teeth into her soft tempting neck. I began to imagine caressing her skin and roaming my hands over her entire body; to explore all her hidden attributes and to taste her lips in a way I've never allowed myself to taste them before. It was during my reverie that Carlisle walked into the room. If I had been able to blush, this might have been the instance when I would have.

His first words were, "Good thing it wasn't the nurse who found you like this." Then he focused and Bella and asked, "Is this the prescription I need to write so you recover more quickly?" None verbally, he added _Are you truly willing to give this up when the time comes?_

Considering what I had been thinking, this was a more loaded question then even he realized.

With a luscious pink blush, Bella answered, "It wouldn't hurt."

"And how are you feeling?" _Has she mentioned any other problems?_ His eyes flashed toward me fleetingly and I gave a quick shake of my head.

"Safe, loved, comforted. Edward is my panacea." Bella's answer revealed she had no thoughts of being injured.

"Well, I'm glad to see there's no permanent damage." He smiled broadly.

"Can I see my dad?" It didn't surprise me that Bella asked; it was only right that she was concerned for her father's welfare. Her concern for others was one of the things I loved about her.

"Yes, but go easy. Remember, your leg is in a cast, and if you get dizzy, stop and sit down. I don't want you receiving anymore injuries while you're in the hospital." Carlisle filled out her chart at the end of her bed, and then he added, "Oh, one more thing, you can go home in a little while." Then he left.

"Can you help me out of this bed, Edward?"

"And I was just getting comfortable." Given the chance, I could have spent all afternoon lying in bed with her, but then again, with the images that had been forming in my mind it was safer to take her to see Charlie.

"So was I, but I would like to see Charlie." It was rewarding and worrying that she felt the same way about staying in bed. It made me wonder what she had been thinking; definitely not the same thoughts I just had, I decided.

I couldn't resist kissing her before helping her out of the hospital bed. I made sure she walked slowly to Charlie's room. As we entered, she sat down in a chair next to Charlie's bed. He looked almost as pale as Bella on a normal day, and he had tubes coming out of his arms that hooked up to a monitor. I decided to give her some time alone with her dad, so I kissed her forehead and told her I needed to run an errand. In fact, I wanted to talk to Carlisle about the change in her scent. It was still bothering me that she didn't smell quite right.

I managed to find Carlisle in the hallway between patients and quickly mentioned the alteration in Bella's scent. Carlisle's response was to watch her for manifestations of any other symptoms that might help identify why her scent had changed.

I returned to Charlie's room as quickly as possible, but as I reached for the door, I heard voices. I stopped, before entering, to listen and discover who was in the room with Bella.

I recognized Bella's voice instantly; it seemed slightly stressed. "Dr. Cullen says he is in a coma because of the head wound."

"Are you sure you want Dr. Cullen looking after your dad?" I didn't recognize this voice. It was gruff, and his thoughts were easily discernable. _How could she even consider allowing that cold one to touch her or Charlie? Bella is treading on dangerous ground. Charlie must be warned as soon as possible._

It had to be one of the Quileute. What had Bella said about Charlie having a friend who belonged to the tribe?

Bella's voice became stronger and more determined. "I trust Dr. Cullen with my life and my dad's despite your distrust of him and his family. Jacob gave me your message, but for someone who would be 'watching' me, it wasn't you who found me and called an ambulance, it was Edward."

It was Jacob and his father.

_Doesn't she realize how dangerous these creatures are? She is jeopardizing her life and Charlie's by placing so much trust in these things. They are unnatural and inhuman. Doesn't she realize that? _"Bella, I'm only looking out for your best interest." His voice was more demanding.

"I know you're one of dad's best friends Billy, but what's in my best interest is up to me to decide. It was in my best interest that Edward was beside me when Tyler's van nearly crushed me. It was in my best interest that Edward was able to find dad and me after the crash." Bella's voice had taken on a defensive tone; she was fiercely defending us in front of this man.

"And what about Phoenix?" Jacob's father sounded like he was verbally attacking Bella and his thoughts continued the attack. _You would never have been injured if these creatures hadn't put you in harms way. I'll never believe it was an accident. I have to make her see that her life is in continual danger as long as she keeps company with these bloodsuckers. This would be easier if I could convince Charlie of the danger posed by these demons._

Jacob's thoughts were all about the old legends and his feelings of disappointment that his dad was offending Bella. He wanted her as a friend and was afraid his dad was ruining any chance of Bella wanting to remain his friend.

"It was in my best interest that Edward and his dad were both present when I was clumsy enough to trip and fall through that window."

I was proud of Bella for standing up for herself and my family, but I too, feared for her safety every time we were together. But this man had no right to belittle and verbally berate her.

As I continued to listen, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett approached me. I was surprised to see Jasper because of the amount of human blood that was discernible in the building, but I knew he too was concerned about Bella's well-being. The fact that we had just returned from hunting probably helped as well.

Very softly and quickly, Alice asked, "What's happening?"

"One of the Quileute is in the room with Bella. Just listen." I replied.

"Look Billy, Edward is the most important person in my life. In fact, without him, I wouldn't have a life. To me, Edward is my life and my life belongs to him."

She was so adamant about her feelings, that I chose that moment to enter the door. I sensed the rest of the family following me.

I finally had a face and name to match the voice. Jacob I'd met at the prom, but his father, Billy, I had only seen once before when I was parking with Bella in her driveway. I smiled at both of them as I walked in, and because of my pride in Bella for standing up for herself, I put my arm around her shoulder, leaned over and kissed her flushed cheek. I decided to play ignorant and asked her, "How's your dad?"

She just smiled up at me and replied, "The same. Your dad says it may be a day or two until he wakes up."

Her scent seemed more off than before, so I asked, "And how are you doing?" I wanted her to explain why she smelt different, but I knew she didn't realize that her fragrance had changed.

"I'm fine, just some bruises; no broken bones or other injuries."

She was doing a good job of filling everyone in on her current condition but was leaving my concern unanswered.

"Billy and Jacob stopped by to see how dad was doing. I just pointed out it was you who found us and called for help." She smiled at me. "Billy, I'd like you to meet the rest of my extended family. These are Edward's brothers and sister." She did have courage.

She once compared herself to the cowardly lion, but her admission that we were her extended family proved she had the courage of a mother lioness protecting her cubs.

I caught a few of the thoughts from the rest around me as Bella introduced of us as her extended family.

_I can't believe she told him that. Why would she take such a risk? _Being further away from his humanity, Jasper still struggled with some of Bella's comments and actions.

_Way to go Bella. That's my little sister; stand up in the face of the enemy._ Emmett's response was very predictable.

_I'm so proud of Bella. She 'is' my sister and Rosalie had better not badmouth her in front of me ever again._ Alice has a wide smile on her face.

Carlisle walked into the room just as Bella finished introducing us as her extended family. Carlisle, alert to the tension in the room, looked directly at me; _Is there something I should be aware of?_ I wanted to answer, but he couldn't hear my thoughts.

Bella, however, jumped right in as if she too had heard Carlisle's question. "Dr. Cullen, I'd like you to meet Billy and Jacob Black. Billy is a friend of dad's."

"I'd like everyone to step in the hall; I need to speak with Bella alone for a moment." Carlisle spoke with definitive command in his voice.

I looked questioningly at him wanting an immediate response. His thoughts supplied my answer. _Nothings wrong. I just want to speak to Bella without the human audience, especially these two humans_.

Being reassured that no impending problems existed, I decided to distance myself from Jacob and his father. I walked down the hall a ways and Alice, Jasper, and Emmett followed. I could hear Jacob arguing with his father about his treatment of Bella, and asking him to remember that she had just been in an accident. It was obvious that Jacob did not believe the tribal legends, but I wondered if at some point he might change his mind. For now at least, he had Bella's well-being in mind.

_Why are they here?_ Emmett glared in their direction.

I positioned myself so my back was to Billy and Jacob. Since I would be the only one who really needed to speak, I wanted to do it quietly and quickly without being seen. "Billy is Charlie's friend. I suppose he heard about the accident and came to find out how he and Bella are."

_He knows about us._ Jasper's thought was a statement rather than a thought.

"Yes. He's an elder of the Quileute."

_He could be a problem._ Emmett stated the obvious.

"Maybe," I began, "but I think his son is warning him to stop badgering Bella. Billy may listen and back off to give Bella time to recover from the accident. There is also the matter of the treaty. If Billy tells Bella or Charlie about us, he would then be faced with admitting he broke the treaty the tribe made with us."

_But Bella already knows, and it seems like he has figured out that she knows._ I knew what Alice was getting at. "What is he thinking?"

"Just because he thinks Bella knows about us, isn't enough for him to jeopardize the treaty. He will be careful about what he says because what he says will affect his entire tribe. I don't think we have to worry about him right now because he is thinking through all of this. He is trying to decide what he can and cannot say, but he does intend to talk to the other elders. He is also worried about losing Charlie's friendship and alienating him. He tried warning Charlie about us once before but was met with a hostile response; he now knows he will have to consider carefully what to say around Charlie." I stopped and listened, I heard Bella mention Billy's name and wondered what brought up the subject. It seemed she was apologizing to Carlisle about the awkwardness caused by Billy's presence. I heard Carlisle response about not violating the treating and his intent to warn us. His thoughts became very clear; _If you're listening Edward, warn the others to be careful about what they say_.

"Carlisle wants us to be careful about what we say in front of Billy, and we can go back into the room." I noticed Billy and Jacob also had gone down the hall a ways, but in the other direction, so I walked over to the door knowing Carlisle was on his way out. I met him at the door and gave him a slight nod as I heard, _Did you warn them?_

I was the first one through the door and smiled as I sat down next to Bella. Once again, I noticed the odd difference in her fragrance. I really wished I could place what was wrong, that above all things bothered me. "How are you doing?" I wondered, could she tell me what was wrong, or did she even know.

While she answered, everyone else was filing into the room. "Edward, I'm fine – a little disoriented maybe but fine. Your dad said they'd continue to monitor dad for changes. He'll know more when dad comes out of the coma."

As soon as Bella finished talking, Billy inquired, "Did you see what happened?"

"You mean what caused the accident?" She looked directly at him.

"Yes." Billy positioned himself at the end of the bed while Jacob took a chair on the other side of it.

Emmett, Jasper, and Alice positioned themselves around Bella and me. Bella sat like a queen with her guards protectively surrounding her. I wondered if she realized how protective we could become if the need arose.

"No, I didn't see what caused the accident. I wasn't really paying attention." Bella glanced over at me and I knew about whom she had been thinking. "It wasn't until I felt the car swerve that I realized something happened. I instinctively threw my arms up in front of my face when I saw the trees in our path. That's why I have the bruises on my arms. Dr. Cullen said I was lucky I didn't have a broken arm, and that my arms protected my face. I passed out right after that partly from the shock and partly," as she looked at me again, I knew she didn't want to admit her weakness, "from the smell of the blood."

"You smelled the blood?" Billy sounded as surprised as I had the first time Bella revealed this to me.

"Yes, I can smell blood and it makes me light-headed and dizzy among other things."

Jasper and Emmett both chuckled softly.

_That could be a problem when he changes her_. It wasn't surprising that Emmett still thought along those lines even with my vehement denial that it would happen.

_The blood in this room alone is so strong, how can anyone resist . . . What? It causes her to faint. I wonder if Alice saw that, and if she sees how that could affect Bella after the change . . ._ Even Jasper couldn't believe I wouldn't ever change her.

_Bella has some unusual qualities. To actually smell human blood is rather special._ I heard Billy thinking. He too had recognized she was special. I didn't like that fact, it made me uncomfortable, but then I almost smiled as a heard Jacob's reaction, _That's disgusting, Smell it, I wonder how it smells to her . . . I wonder if . . . _but he didn't finish his thought.

There was a momentary silence, which became awkward, so I thought I would mention Bella's wolves and see how Billy would react to the comment. "Bella, one thing you said was that you saw wolves. Emmett and Alice looked but didn't find any wolf tracks around the wreckage," I watched Billy's eyes widen at my comment. I needed Bella to confirm what I was saying. "Are you sure you saw wolves?"

"Yes." She paused as if searching for the right words to use. Was she going to edit her response? "I remember reaching over to see if dad was still breathing. Because of the strength of the scent, I was worried. The scent was overwhelming, and I thought I was going to blackout again, but then I heard a growl and . . ." she paused again, but looked at me as if she were trying to tell me something.

Once again, I was frustrated by the fact that I could not hear what she was thinking.

She continued, "It was followed by another, and that's when I looked out the window and saw the wolves circling the cruiser. Before I could do anything, I blacked out. I did notice that they had funny glowing eyes," as she described their eyes she began staring off seeming unfocused on anything or anyone in the room.

Billy's face registered surprise and disbelief. I focused in on his mind. _Wolves . . . it couldn't be. Maybe I should ask . . .no tracks . . . not possible . . . that shouldn't be . . . but would it be right?_ His thoughts were too disordered and fragmented to allow me to know what they meant. Jacob on the other hand just fidgeted in his seat and wished they could leave. He was afraid his father would say or do something that would embarrass him.

Billy finally broke the silence by asking, "Are you going to be okay Bella?"

Bella stared at him as if she hadn't heard his question.

"Being alone while Charlie's in the hospital," he explained.

"Oh, I won't be alone. Carlisle is allowing Alice stay with me. My mom doesn't want me to stay alone, and when Carlisle suggested that Alice could stay at Charlie's, mom was very pleased. She met Alice in Phoenix and said she was 'a pleasant young lady.'"

I wondered if it was wise of her to tell him so much, but mentioning her mother was good touch. Alice smiled at the comment, but Emmett chuckled and, in response, Jasper punched in him the arm. I ended up laughing into my hand so no one would hear. It then dawned on me these might all appear as human reactions and that might help confirm to Jacob that the legends were just that.

Billy, however, wasn't pleased with the information Bella just shared. _Her mother is just as ignorant about these monsters as Charlie is. They are both thrusting their daughter into a very dangerous situation._ Aloud, he warned, "Well, you take care of yourself, and keep me informed of any change in your dad's condition. Jacob, I'm ready to go home." The look he gave me told me as much as his mind did. _We'll be watching._

"I will let you know as soon as I know." Bella replied.

As Billy started to leave, Jacob told Bella, "I'm sorry about your dad and I hope he is better soon. I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks Jacob." Bella smiled at him pleasantly.

When Billy was out of the room, Jacob softly whispered to her, "I'm sorry about what he said," and then Jacob rushed out after his dad.

After the door clicked shut behind Jacob, Emmett murmured, "Well, that was interesting." To which everyone laughed quietly.

"Are you really okay, Bella?" I put my arm around her waist and pulled her close. Her fragrance still bothered me. If I didn't discover the reason for it soon, I was going to ask Carlisle to run some tests. There had to be a reason for the change, and it might be serious.

"Actually, I'm fine although I feel a little faint." She then slumped in my arms. She had passed out.

"Alice, find Carlisle. I'll take Bella to her room." I gently picked Bella up and carried her to her room where I laid her on the bed.

After I settled Bella on the bed, Emmett asked. "Do you really think Billy was here only to see how Charlie was doing?"

"At first, yes, but he will probably keep a closer watch on her from now on. You realize he sent his son to the prom just to deliver a warning message to Bella."

"And what was the message exactly?" Jasper asked.

"We'll be watching."

"Watching for what?" Alice asked as she walked into the room. "Carlisle will be here shortly," she added.

"They'll probably watch for signs that we're endangering her or that we've changed her." As if I would ever allow either to happen to her.

Emmett laughed. "How can they tell the difference? Some dangers Bella causes herself just by being Bella."

"Not funny Emmett!" I growled.

"Actually it is," Jasper contributed. My growl deepened. "But in a good way sometimes," Jasper hastily added.

"Stop picking on Bella. She can't help it if she's a magnet for danger." I defended her.

"Is Jacob the one who told Bella about us?" Alice diplomatically changed the subject.

"Yes."

"Does his dad know he broke the treaty?" Changing to a more serious topic helped wipe the smile from Jasper's face.

"I don't think so, or I would have heard it in his thoughts. I don't think he would have been as worried about breaking the treaty if he knew it had already been broken."

"How did she get him to tell her about us?" Emmett would ask the one question that would bring us back to Bella and her attraction to danger, since it was dangerous of her to cause one the Quileute to break the treaty.

"According to Bella, she flirted with him and he told her the whole legend."

"Oh man, I wish I could have seen that. Bella flirting! I just can't picture it." Emmett laughed.

"And what does Emmett find so funny?" Carlisle asked walking into the room.

"Bella flirting with a boy," Jasper informed him.

Carlisle just raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "So, what happened?"

"Bella fainted." Emmett said.

Carlisle looked at me. "Is her scent still off?"

"Yes, and it has bothered me all day that I can't figure out why her fragrance has changed, or even what about it has changed."

He turned toward Alice, "Alice, would you get a wash cloth from the bathroom and run it under cold, then bring it here?" Then he turned back toward me. "I think I have an idea about why she fainted, and if I'm right, then it may be what caused the change in her scent."

Alice handed him the damp washcloth. "Here place this on her forehead." He hand me the cloth and I did as he said.

I gently wiped her face, and laid the cloth on her forehead.

"I think she's coming around." Alice observed.

Bella's eyes fluttered open and she looked around at each of us, and then focused on Carlisle.

"Bella, when was the last time you ate?" He asked.

Very quietly, she replied, "I don't know."

"Did you eat dinner last night?" He probed.

"Well, I cooked dinner, and I sat down at the table with Charlie, but I don't really remember the meal. My mind was elsewhere." She was looking at me when she offered the last piece of information.

I couldn't help but smile. "From the food left on your plate in the kitchen, I'd say you didn't eat anything."

Carlisle probed deeper. "So the last time you ate was lunch yesterday."

"No, I forgot to eat lunch, but I did have half a bowl of cereal for breakfast." Again, Bella answered quietly.

_That's a little worse than I thought. She's past hunger._ Audible Carlisle said, "Okay. I have pretty good idea of why you just fainted." He turned to me as I heard his thoughts. _That's why her scent is different lack of protein especially_. "You and Alice take her home and make sure she eats something." Then he turned back toward Bella. "Then I want you to rest, and I'm going to write you a doctor's excuse for missing school tomorrow because I want you to stay home and rest some more, and please, don't skip anymore meals." _Love can cause a person to do some silly things, but not eating can be harmful._

She looked up at him shyly and quietly asked. "Can Edward stay with me?"

Carlisle looked at me. _She does have it bad._

Emmett laughed aloud and Jasper chuckled quietly. "I guess you'll be Bella-sitting tomorrow Edward." Emmett teased.

"Do you want me to stay and chaperone?" Alice asked Carlisle. "I wouldn't want Bella's mom to think I'm not watching out for her daughter properly." She laughed.

"I think Bella will be safe enough if you go to school tomorrow. Rosalie can stop by the house and pick you up because I want you to stay at Bella's tonight . . ."

I raised an eyebrow at that remark. What, didn't he trust me to be alone with Bella?

". . . just in case Bella needs help with any personal needs." He concluded. "You should also be aware, Bella, that an officer will probably be stopping by the house later today or tomorrow to ask you some questions about the accident, but if I were you, I wouldn't mention the wolves." Carlisle smiled reassuringly at her. "We'll take good care of your dad, and if there's any change, I'll call. Otherwise, wait until tomorrow afternoon before you come back to visit."

"Is there anything we should watch for?" Alice asked.

"Yes, she had a slight concussion, so watch her this afternoon; if she falls asleep, wake her up every hour. Edward should know what to watch for. You'll be in good hands Bella just take it easy and rest." _You keep a close watch on her and make sure she eats;_ his eyes were focused on mine for a few seconds before he walked out of the room.

"Would you like me to bring you anything?" Jasper asked Alice.

"Well, that depends." She replied. _Can we stop at the house? We do need to drop off Jasper and Emmett._

Sometimes I wondered why my family thought at me more often than talked to me, and then I realized I would never have thought of this if it hadn't been for Bella. Everything from her was verbal because I couldn't read her mind. "We can stop by the house on the way to Bella's. Besides, we can drop Emmett and Jasper off at the same time." I turned toward Bella realizing she might want a little time alone with her dad before we left. "Would you like time alone with your dad before we leave?"

"No, I'll just say goodbye and then we can go." Bella stood up and walked slowly to Charlie's room, leaned over and kissed his cheek, and said, "I'll see you tomorrow dad." Then she turned, took my arm and walked out of the room. She leaned wearily against me and I wondered if she would pass out again.

I decided it was better to play it safe, so I picked her up and carried her out of the hospital. I had realized I was right earlier that she would leave even if she couldn't walk out under her own will power. I allowed her warmth to soak into my cold skin as she leaned her head against my shoulder and relaxed in my arms. I set her in the front seat of my Volvo as Alice, Jasper, and Emmett slid into the back seat.

"You know, we were really worried about you," Emmett started. "When Edward called Alice and said you were missing, we all went out looking for you. Of course, Edward found you, but we were all there when the ambulance and police arrived. Carlisle started treating you both as soon as you were safely removed from the wreckage."

"How badly was the car damaged?" Bella asked.

Jasper chuckled, "They had to use 'the Jaws of Life' to remove the doors. Carlisle wouldn't let Emmett or Edward rip them off before help arrived."

"It would have been so simple." Emmett growled.

"The car is totaled; even Rosalie couldn't fix it." Jasper supplied.

I wondered what Bella was thinking as Emmett and Jasper filled her in on the details. She was almost too quiet as they spoke.

"Don't worry Bella, your dad will be fine," Alice informed her.

She turned toward Alice and asked, "Are you sure, Alice?"

"Yes, I am, and so will you." Alice replied.

"Thanks Alice, but I know I'll be okay; I have to be because I promised Edward I would stay safe."

Only Bella could make me laugh with a comment like that. "You call being in an accident staying safe?"

"Well, there's no permanent damage, just a few bruises." She took a deep breath as she paused. "All things considered, Mr. Cullen," she said seriously, "I'd say yes. I wasn't driving . . ."

I couldn't help but mutter 'Thank goodness' under my breath.

". . . by myself, there were no muggers around, and . . ." she took another pause and I saw her shiver slightly, ". . . and the wolves didn't get me." She smiled lightly. "See, I stayed fairly safe."

While the back seat filled with laughter, I couldn't help but wonder what made Bella shiver, the wolves or something else she hadn't mentioned.

Emmett reached up and ruffled her hair. "I don't think Edward counts that as staying safe, but knowing you, I'd say it could have been worse."

"By the way, that was a truly brave thing you did standing up to Billy and declaring you were a part of our family," Alice declared.

"Yes, the look on his face spoke volumes," Jasper added.

"Well, it bothers me that they are so close minded and see only one side." Bella flared.

"That's the side they need to see," I interrupted. "It's the side you refuse to see. We are dangerous; they should be weary of us."

Jasper added, "He's right Bella. It isn't easy to fight our natural urge, but Alice is also right, it was brave."

"Hey, you can stand up for me anytime." Emmett tousled her already messed up hair.

"Thanks Emmett, but you can be intimidating enough. I don't think you really need me to defend you."

"True, but it is the thought that counts and you think enough of me to defend me to the Quileute." Emmett added.

"And why not; you're like the older brother I never had." Bella replied.

"And that's how I want you to think of me. I'm now your older brother, so if anyone ever hurts you, just let me know and I'll correct the situation. That includes Edward as well."

I growled, but Bella actually giggled. I'd never heard her giggle before; it was a new experience.

"Oh, and Bella, the next time you flirt with someone, can I watch?"

Jasper and Alice tried to hide their laughs and Bella glared at me.

"Edward, you didn't!" she accused.

I looked at her repentantly. "I'm sorry Bella. I was explaining why Jacob broke the treaty."

Bella blushed at the mention of Jacob, and I was saved from any further reproaches because we had reached the house. I saw Esme walk out the door and approach the car.

As soon as I stopped the Volvo, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were out of the car, and Esme opened Bella's door and hugged her. "I'm so glad you're okay and don't worry about your dad, Carlisle is one of the best doctors around."

"I know Esme, and thank you for caring." She softly replied.

"I'll always care dear. You're one of my daughters now, remember, and the flowers were beautiful. Thank you," she kissed Bella affectionately on the cheek. "Are you both coming in?" She looked at me. _Can you stay awhile?_

"No, Carlisle instructed Alice and me to take Bella home so we can feed her," I looked meaningfully at Bella. I knew she needed to eat. I wanted her regular fragrance to return because this on bothered me for some reason. I also knew she needed more rest. "And make her rest. Alice won't be home tonight. Carlisle thought it would be best if she stayed at Bella's in case Bella needed help with anything I wouldn't be allowed to help with." I smiled wickedly at Bella to discover if I could make her blush and if her heightened color would add normalcy to her scent.

Bella did blush much to my pleasure, but her scent was still off.

Esme realized what I had done and reprimanded me. "Edward Anthony, behave yourself." To Bella she softly said, "Bella, you take care of yourself. Do as Carlisle tells you and don't' worry about anything. She kissed Bella's cheek before she walked back toward the house. Jasper was escorting Alice out as Esme went in; I saw Bella looking in their direction.

When they reached the car, she said, "You know Alice, you don't have to stay all might; you can slip out after dark."

"No, Carlisle said I should stay all night, and I don't like disobeying his requests. Beside, I'll see Jasper tomorrow."

With a hint of guilt in her voice, she offered, "Jasper could come over and stay as well. I don't mind."

"Thanks Bella," Jasper smiled, "But I think it would be better if I didn't."

I couldn't see Bella's face, but she must have given him some type of look because he added, "The smell."

"Oh," was Bella's only reply.

I turned away as Jasper kissed Alice, and then I heard him helping her into the back seat. As soon as I knew she was in, I turned the car around and headed to Bella's house.

As I drove, Alice leaned up against the back of Bella's seat. "Bella, I really like the flowers. That was nice of you to do."

I didn't have to look to know Bella was blushing; I could feel her increased warmth from it. "Alice, I must confess, it wasn't me who thought of the flowers as a thank you. It should've been because of all your help the past few months, but Charlie was the one who suggested I buy you flowers. He was right, and it was remiss of me not to find a way to say thank you sooner than this." Bella sounded repentant.

"That was sweet of him. I'll have to tell him thank you after he wakes up." Alice couldn't stop her enthusiasm from bubbling over. "Do you realize this is my first sleep over? I've never spent the night at a friend's house. Of course, I've never had a human friend before either. Thanks Bella."

Alice's mind kept repeating, in a singsong tone, _I'm going to a sleep over_. I knew she was extremely excited. Bella's presence had allowed Alice to sometimes indulge in human type activities. The kind Rosalie would not participate in with her. The whole prom makeover was Alice's idea, and she spent days planning every part of how to dress and groom Bella. It had been a long time since I'd seen Alice that excited or happy. Alice missed all her human events and she was using Bella as a way to live them, but it made me realize, even more, what I'd steal from Bella if I'd change her. I knew I just couldn't take those special moments away from her. Her whole life would be filled with special moments and that is what I wanted for her.

Bella interrupted my thoughts. "Well, it won't be a real sleep over because I'll be the only one sleeping, and unless you spend the night in my room, it also won't be a real sleepover," interrupted my thoughts.

"Hey, that's an idea. We could stay up and talk and I could do you hair and your nails, and . . ."

"Stop right there." No, that was my special time with Bella, and I didn't feel like sharing it with Alice. "Bella needs her rest. Besides, I'm the only one who gets to spend the night in Bella's room."

Bella's blush was extremely deep. Her warmth and scent made my head spin.

"Edward, look what you did to her?" Alice admonished. "I've never seen anyone turn that shade of red before. Bella," Alice hesitated, "what does it feel like to blush?"

"Alice!" I whipped around to look at her, I was shocked she'd asked such a personal question, and I couldn't afford to have Bella blushing again. Very quickly and quietly, so Bella couldn't hear, I said, "That's an inappropriate question. One that is too personal to ask."

"Edward, eyes on the road please." Bella pleaded.

I hadn't looked away from the road that long, but to keep Bella happy, I turned and fixed my gaze once again on the road.

"It's okay for Alice to ask; I don't mind." Bella was all kindness. "I'll tell you inside," she finished softly to Alice as I pulled into the driveway.

I sped around to Bella's door to help her out. I waited for her to unbuckle her seat belt and then helped her out of the car. "How are you feeling?" The oddity in her scent had increased slightly. I hoped it didn't indicate that she'd faint again.

"I'm okay, Edward, really. A little hungry, but other than that, I'm really okay." Her voice sounded a little shaky and that too worried me.

"You're telling me the truth, right?" I focused on her eyes for the truth. I notice her gaze locked on mine and the looked deepened.

Bella took a faltering step and I was afraid she'd fall or pass out, so I caught her in my arms. "See, you're not alright. Why didn't you say you felt weak and needed help?" I scolded her.

"Because, until you dazzled me with you're eyes," she smiled, "I felt capable of walking. You have to learn to be more careful about how intensely you look at me, it just . . . oh, I don't know what words to use . . . I guess, I just go . . ."

"Weak in the knees?" I grinned at the fact that I caused this rather than her hunger.

"That's one way of putting it, but it's even more than that."

I loved that I could affect her so profoundly but also castigated myself for the fact. To keep her from more injury, I carried her into the house and proceeded up the stairs to her bedroom. I was determined she would lie down and rest while Alice and I waited on her.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To bed." I made her blush again. I hadn't meant to do that.

"That statement can be interpreted in different ways depending on whose listening." She replied as she quickly looked at Alice who was following us.

"Edward, do you always say things to make Bella blush? That's twice now in the last few minutes," Alice teased.

"Okay," I chuckled, "so I'll rephrase my statement. I'm going to lie you down in your bed so you can rest. Better?" It was what I had meant to do all along. Why would Alice have interpreted it in any other way? Why did Bella think she would interpret in any other way?

"I'm hungry, Edward," she pleaded. "Can't I eat first?"

"Alice will fix you something to eat and you'll dine in bed." I gave her a serious look, "And no arguments."

I loved her pout; it made her lips look more luscious and tempting. Her pout was also a warning sign that she was ready to argue with me about my decision, so to deter her, I said, "Alice, why don't you go down and fix Bella something to eat."

_Really, Edward, you're so bossy._ At first, I thought Alice was going to argue with me, but then I sensed her turning around and going back down the stairs.

I carried Bella into her room and gently laid her on the bed. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and handed it to Bella. "Here, call your mom. Carlisle told her you'd call as soon as you arrived home." There was a slight sparkle in her eyes, so I added, "And no, you can't go downstairs to call her, you'll talk to her and rest at the same time."

She stared awkwardly at the phone and then asked. "Edward, how did you know I'd ask that?"

"I read it in your face. Sometimes, but those are limited, I can tell what you're going to do or say by your look, but most of the time what you say and do comes as a complete surprise. Now, be a good girl and call your mom." Then I ruffled her hair like Emmett had. I was truthful about her face. There were times when it was easy to read, but the majority of the time it was a mystery just like her mind.

I must have struck a nerve with my comment because Bella replied by sticking her tongue out at me. I couldn't repress the laugh, but I noticed she ignored me. Then I saw her entering a phone number. Maybe I would retrieve that number later and add it to my contact list. It might come in handy sometime.

At least I wasn't limited to a one-sided conversation. It was easy to hear her mom's worried voice, "Hello?"

"Hi, mom."

"Bella! Where are you calling from?" I could hear the concern in her voice.

"I'm at home in bed, and I'm fine mom. Nothing's broken or out of place." I could tell Bella was trying to keep all stress out of her voice. I knew she didn't want to worry her mom unduly.

"Oh, I wondered if you were still in the hospital because a different number registered on the caller ID."

Bella laughed as she looked in my direction. "Edward's loaned me his cell phone. He's making me rest while I'm talking to you."

Another voice intruded into my mind. _Edward, get down here right now._ If it had been verbal, it would've been shouted. Alice was agitated about something, so I knew I'd better go down and see what happened. I mouthed to Bella, 'I'll be right back.'

"Edward is there with you?" I heard her mother ask as I walked out the door. I smiled at myself as I realized I was leaving Bella to face her mother's concerns without my disrupting presence.

I found Alice standing in the kitchen with a tray in her hands. "What's that for?"

"Well, I knew we'd need to bring Bella her food in her room, so I brought this from home. I knew we wouldn't find one here. What I failed to realize is that you'd expect me to fix her something to eat. Edward, I've never even fixed myself a meal before being changed. I don't know where to start."

It was funny to see the lost look on Alice's face, and I smile broadly at her. "I'm sorry Alice; I just wanted to get you away from Bella while she talked to her mom."

"So, what are you going to make Bella to eat?" She smiled sweetly. "This will be a new learning experience for me."

I stood and looked around the kitchen. The remains of the dinner Bella had cooked the night before reeked, so I scrapped the plates off, threw all the remaining food away, and washed the dishes.

"You look very domesticated." Alice commented.

I just snarled at her, and her response was to laugh.

I began rummaging around in the refrigerator looking for any leftovers but found none. I reverted to the cabinets and finally found a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. Next, I located the jelly in the refrigerator and decided I'd make Bella a sandwich.

As I was carrying the peanut butter and jelly to the table Alice elbowed my in the ribs so unexpectedly that I dropped both the jars. "Now look what you did." I turned on her.

She had a mischievous look on her face. "They didn't brake. So, what are you going to do with them?"

"I'm going to make a sandwich," I replied.

I'd watched Bella eat a number of times and knew she never indulged in large means, so I figured a sandwich would be about all she'd eat. After finishing the sandwich, I remembered she needed fluids as well. I knew she liked milk, so I filled a glass I found in the cupboard. I placed the sandwich and the glass of milk on the tray and smiled at Alice. "See, that wasn't very difficult. Even Emmett could make a meal like this."

Alice laughed, "That would be something worth watching."

I picked up the tray and carried it up to Bella's room. As I walked in the door, I saw Bella preparing to get up. "Oh no you don't. You lay right back down. I told you not to get out of bed."

"What broke?" She asked innocently.

"Nothing broke. Maybe dented a little, but not broken." I smiled.

"Edward, how could you send Alice to the kitchen? Did she take cooking lessons from the food channel with you?" She asked teasingly.

"That's why I went downstairs to help. She had no idea what to make or how to make it." I smiled back at her.

"Really Edward, you need be more considerate of others. Of course, Alice wouldn't know what to do, just like the first time I asked you what you were making for my breakfast. Remember?"

How could I forget? It was the first night I spent in Bella's room with her knowing I was in the room.

"So, what am I getting to eat? No irritable grizzly, I hope."

I glared at her and heard Alice stifle a laugh. "No." I replied gruffly, "a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk." I placed the tray on my lap.

"Is that it?" She sounded disappointed.

"Well, leftovers from last night are out because they sat out all night, and there isn't much in the refrigerator that isn't frozen. This was the best I could do on short notice. Eat this and let's see if you're still hungry afterwards." If she were still hungry afterwards, I would fix her something else to eat. For the moment, I just wanted her to eat.

Alice sat down in the rocking chair and I sat on the bed. I'd watched Bella eat before, but the way she devoured that sandwich reminded me of how ravenous even humans could become. In no time at all, the sandwich disappeared and she'd finished every drop of milk. I found myself surprised and speechless.

"Bella, I never saw you eat that fast before." I did notice that her aroma altered slight for the better.

"I told you I was hungry."

It hadn't been enough food to return her to her normal fragrance so I began to wonder when her last full meal really was. So I asked, "When did you eat last?"

"Uhm . . . Thursday," replied she hesitantly.

"Bella!" How could she deny herself nourishment? Didn't she realize what that would do to her?

"Don't shout." She hung her head.

"I wasn't shouting." I hadn't meant to shout. I was shocked by her admission.

"Yes you were." Her voice was so quiet.

"Now, now children," Alice reprimanded. I could tell Alice was enjoying this. _You did shout Edward. Can't you see she's sorry, let up on her. We'll find more food for her."_

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to yell. It just shocked me. Why haven't you eaten?" I couldn't hold back my concern for her well-being.

"I don't know. I wasn't hungry and every thing I tried to eat tasted like cardboard, so I didn't eat it."

"This is because of me, isn't it?" Without meaning to, I had jeopardized Bella's health yet again.

"No Edward." Her voice was stern. "This is because of me. I can't help but miss you when you're gone and I lose interest in everything around me. And if you start to blame yourself for my emotions, then I'll . . ." I was totally at a loss of what I could do about it.

Her hesitation told me she had no idea what she'd do. "You'll what?" A smile spread across my face.

Her face became determined. Maybe I shouldn't have smiled when she hesitated, but then how bad could her threat be.

"I won't let you kiss me and I won't kiss you for a week."

Could I believe what she said? Did she really mean that? "Really?"

"Really," she smiled sweetly.

Could I dazzle her out of her threat? I decided it was worth a try. "Really?" I leaned in closely placing my lips only an inch from hers. Then I slowly breathed out.

I could see her weakening and I allowed myself a slight smile, but then I heard her stomach rumble and I knew I'd lost the argument.

"I'm still hungry Edward. Can you get me a pizza?" She smiled brightly into my eyes dazzling me in return.

"Okay, you win this time, but only because you're the invalid and you need nourishment." I wouldn't let her know how she out dazzled me. I brushed my lips lightly against hers and ordered Alice, "Keep her company but make sure she stays in bed and out of trouble." Then I left quickly.

Before I got out the front door, I heard Alice ask, "How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Resist Edward . . ."

I wanted to stay and hear Bella's reply so I could learn just how she did resist my dazzle, but her need for food was more pressing than my need for an answer. I spent as little time as possible obtaining a pizza for Bella. I made sure I ordered one with an abundance of meat because I recognized her need for more protein. Even though peanut butter was a protein, I admitted to myself it was not enough.

As I walked in I heard Alice ask, "So why are you blushing now?"

Bella's laugh carried down the stairs, "You're as bad as Edward wanting to know what caused it."

"So?" Alice has a way of drawing out a word for emphasis.

"Because the fact that he kissed me still embarrasses me."

Kissed? Kissed by whom, I wanted to know. Who had been kissing Bella besides me?

"Alice, I'm not accustomed to being kissed by boys; well, Emmett's not really a boy, but anyway, those of the male persuasion. I still find it embarrassing to be kissed and especially in public. Don't get me wrong, it was a nice kiss as kisses go, but it'll never measure up to Edward's."

At least she clarified that, and I was relieved to know she wasn't speaking about Newton. As I reached for her door, I chimed. "Well, I'm glad to here that, but why are you talking about Emmett kissing you?"

I noticed Bella turning a deep shade of red. "I was only answering a question about blushing for Alice."

I couldn't refrain from adding. "See, kissing Emmett was a blushing moment for you. It must have been memorable kiss."

Bella cocked her head and then paused before stating in a very determined tone, "One a scale of one to ten, I'd give it a nine." I noticed she was not smiling.

Alice found humor in the comment and laughed. I just growled in displeasure.

"Oh come on Edward," Alice piped in, "she's only teasing just like you were teasing her. So Bella, how would you rate Edward's kisses?" A lilting laugh erupted from Alice.

"Hum, give me a moment to think." She tapped her finger against her full lips temptingly, making me want to taste her lips against mine. "Well, if I were to grade his on the same scale, then I guess . . . I guess . . . I'd probably give it a . . ." She was carrying this too far. I wanted to hear her answer. "Okay, I'd definitely give Edward's a twenty."

I was pleased with her answer, but I reminded myself she still needed to eat. "Are you still hungry?"

"Yes, I'm ravenous." A sweet smile crossed her face as she looked up at me through her lashes. "Edward, could I have another glass of milk please?"

I was very happy to oblige her, so I rushed downstairs, filled her glass, and was instantly back at her side.

Bella could have put Emmett to shame the way she wolfed down half of the pizza I brought her, but with every bite, I noticed her scent was returning to the sweet delicious fragrance I remembered. I decided to store this memory away for future reference. If Bella's scent ever changed in this manner again, I would know it was due to starvation.

We spent the rest of the late afternoon and evening talking about whatever subjects came to mind. I made sure Bella stayed in the bed, and I remained at her side with my arms wrapped around her. Alice sat in the rocking chair. Bella asked us about school and places we'd lived, and we talked about Charlie. As we spoke about Charlie, stray tears rolled down Bella's cheek. Alice, when she saw one was quick to reassure Bella that Charlie would be fine. Every now and then Bella would gaze into my eyes, and I would see her love shining out from them. Around dinnertime, we took a short break while Bella had supper. This time I made her an omelet.

At nine o'clock, I decided Bella needed to get some sleep. Alice decided to spend the night downstairs. After she left, Bella withdrew to the bathroom to attend to her human needs. I patiently waited for her in her room. I turned down the covers on her bed and then sat down until she hobbled in. Every time I saw the cast on her leg, I was reminded of how close I had come to losing her and I knew it would have been my fault if I'd lost her. Bella crawled into bed and snuggled up to me as those thoughts raced through my mind.

"Are you tired?" I knew she would deny it, but I knew the truth. I could see how tired she was by her face.

"No, I want to enjoy you're company for awhile. I was so lonely while you were gone."

I smiled as I heard her denial but didn't confront her with the lie. Instead, I asked, "What about your friends at school?" Surely, she spent some time with them.

"Oh yeah. How could I forget about Mike? I should've invited him over to keep me company while you were gone." Her scowl affirmed the fact that she didn't think much of Newton, and this piece of information pleased me. "Yeah sure, that would've been fun."

"I meant the girls you're friends with." I corrected but with a pleasant voice.

"Well, Jessica only talks about Mike, which gets boring, and if he knows she's going to talk to me, he tags along and stares at me longingly. That gets annoying. Lauren doesn't like me so I avoid her. That leaves Angela and I did spend some time with her Saturday after she took me to buy flowers."

I hadn't realized that she counted so few of the schoolgirls as her friends, but at least Angela seemed to be someone she liked. I wondered what had they talked about. "Did you talk about boys?" I heard curiosity in his voice.

"No, we talked mostly about books and school. Maybe that's why I like Angela over the others. I can have a real conversation with her." She snuggled closer. "Did you miss me?"

Missed her? If only she knew how much I ached to be beside her, how empty I felt while away from her, or how much I loved holding her. This feeling I knew was safe to share with her. "Terribly. I couldn't wait to come home. If it had been up to me, we would have left late Saturday rather than Sunday morning. I was anxious to see you, to make sure you were okay, and what did I find upon my return – you missing." I carefully tightened my hold on her. "Do you know what that did to me?"

"No what?" She breathed softly.

"I was scared that I might not find you, or that I'd find you had left me." That thought had crossed my mind and I knew if it was true, that she had left me, my life would be over. There would be no reason to continue my existence. "If I had a heart that beat, it might have stopped completely." The relief I still felt at having found her made me chuckle and I kissed the top of her head.

She turned slightly to face me. "Edward, it will never be me who leaves you, unless I am unwillingly dragged away by something unstoppable." She buried her face into my neck and began kissing it.

"Bella, don't even talk like that. One day you may find that you crave a normal life of sunshine and a family of your own." I didn't want to lose her, but I refused to take away the life she deserved.

She continued to kiss my neck as she spoke. "I already have sunshine . . . your my sun and I'll bask in your light . . . and I have a family . . . you're my family . . . you're all I want . . . you are my life." She slowly moved her lips up my chin and kissed the corners of my mouth.

"Bella, what are you doing." Her lips on my skin were so delightful and as they teasingly move around the outside of my lips, a small groan escaped them.

"Exploring." She murmured. "Don't you like it?"

Could she even imagine what she was making me feel? Every sensation burned as it coursed through my body. I felt on fire, but it was a pleasant fire of desire. I finally said, "I like it too much," and that was the absolute truth.

"Should I stop?" She was at the corner of my mouth and then kissed my bottom lip.

"Yes . . . no . . . I don't know." I breathed out heavily; her lovely fragrance overwhelmed my senses and I felt briefly light-headed.

My self-restraint melted away. I kissed her on the lips and started moving them over her eyelids, nose, and down into the crook of her neck, but I couldn't stop there. My lips traveled across her soft lovely shoulder and across the front of her throat. The whole time I felt her quickening pulse and the unsteady beat of her heart. When I reached the dip in the front of her throat, I heard soft moans issuing from her. My lips continued up her neck and over her chin until they found her sweet warm lips. Bella immediately entwined her fingers in my hair and pulled my mouth as close to hers as possible. I felt her tongue touch my lips and suddenly realized I was losing control. I left so quickly she had no time to react. As I looked back at her, I saw shock registered on her lovely face and then silent tears flowed from her eyes. She then threw herself into her pillow and I heard her sobs. Her body shuck as her sobbed increased.

I'd done it again. I had caused her this new pain.

"Bella!" I swiftly moved to her side and pulled her to me as I sat down. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or upset you."

Between sobs she said, "Not you, me."

"What?" Did she think I was blaming her for what just happened?

"It wasn't your fault. It was mine," and she cried even more.

"No. It's never your fault. I should have more control of my emotions. I should never endanger you by letting them control me." How could she even think that? How could she blame herself for my lack of control?

"Edward," there was a slight sternness in her voice and a small sob escaped as she spoke. "I'm just as much to blame as you are. You will not blame yourself. I started this, and if I'm truthful, I wanted this. I want you Edward. I want to feel you kissing me, touching me, and holding me so close that I can't breathe. These are normal feelings when someone is in love."

Did she realize what she was saying? Did she realize how much pain I could have caused her if I had allowed my emotions to take over? I could have easily killed her in a moment of passion without ever realizing I was doing it. I wasn't going to let her take any blame for my actions or lack of control, but before I could say anything, Alice knocked softly on the door. "What?" I growled.

"Is everything okay?" Alice asked softly. _Edward, what happened? Is Bella okay?_

"Go away," I replied.

At the same time Bella called, "Come in."

Alice glided in through the door, but I was shocked that Bella allowed her in. Why would Bella want Alice to see her crying? No, crying was too light a word; it had sounded like Bella's was in terrible pain, but a pain that came from her heart.

"Are you okay Bella?" The concern in Alice voice was extremely apparent.

"Yes, we're both fine. Just a misunderstanding." Bella offered, and then she hesitated as if unsure whether or not to say something she was thinking. "Alice, you really love Jasper, don't you?"

"Yes, very much." I could hear the emotion in Alice's voice.

As I watched her face, I wondered if she missed him. I reached out to her mind and found her thinking of Jasper and wondering what he was doing and if he was missing her.

"When the two of you are extremely close . . . uhm, do you . . . well, do you lose control . . . you know, emotionally?" I detected a slight nervousness in Bella's voice.

Alice laughed lightly. "You mean do I physically and emotionally become romantically inclined." Alice was enjoying this question and picturing Jasper and her locked in a romantic embrace.

"Well . . . yes." Bella turned a healthy shade of pink, her fragrance intensified, and her skin became warmer.

"Yes, I do." Alice reassured her, but questions were forming in her mind. _What has been going on in here? Did Edward try something that shocked Bella?_ She looked at me questioningly.

"Is it more your fault or Jasper's when that happens?" Bella prodded.

"Neither, why? Did I miss something interesting?" She chuckled. _Something did happen. Edward, what have you been doing to this poor girl?_

"No." I wasn't about to answer Alice's question. "You can leave."

"Edward," Alice started hesitantly and looked from Bella to me, "If I understand, even a little, what might have happened," _you can stop me only if I'm wrong_, "then I should tell you, what you and Bella are both feeling is absolutely natural and mutual. It is not one-sided." _From the flush on Bella's face, I would say you were both sharing a very intimate moment._ "This is just as hard for her as it is for you; I mean the passion part, not the thirst part. Don't get mad at her for feeling that way. She . . ."

"Alice, I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at myself," I interrupted; I would never blame any of this on Bella.

"I'm mad at me," Bella also added. "But I'm also upset at Edward that he tries to take all the blame on himself."

Alice laughed again. _Typical._

Now what did she mean by that – typical – typical how I wanted to know.

"I can see that the two of you have a lot to learn about sharing, even blame has to be shared at times. Edward, we all get carried away when we're in love. This would be so much simpler for both of you if you . . ."

"Don't even go there Alice," I warned.

_Well it would be, but at least hear me out._ "Okay. Then realize this Edward, these feeling are not something that will just stop. They will always be there under the surface waiting to rise up and spill out, and they aren't anybody's fault, they just are. It is a part of truly being in love with someone."

"Thank you Alice." Bella seemed relieved.

Was she worried because she had these feelings, or because I had them? Was she uncomfortable having these feelings?

"You're welcome Bella. I'll see you both in the morning." Alice turned and walked out the door. _Stop being so hard on yourself, can't you see that that is what is upsetting Bella._

Could Alice be right? Is Bella upset that I get angry at my own lack of control?

Bella's eyes focused on me. "See, I'm just as much to blame as you are, so stop trying to take all the guilt. I'm sorry I lost control, but I'm not sorry that I felt that way. Edward, whether you believe this or not, I love you more than life itself."

Maybe Alice was right. Maybe this is natural for both of us, but I still feel I should have more control over my emotions so I don't jeopardize Bella's life, and I definitely don't want her giving up her precious life for me. "No, Bella. I don't want you to choose me over life. You have your whole life in front of you and I don't want to steal that away from you."

"Edward, don't you understand. You're my life; without you, there isn't anything, just a big empty lonely whole."

"Bella . . ."

"No, don't argue with me. I know what I'm saying and I know what I mean. I'm just sorry that you can't accept it as the truth."

Bella would argue this all night if I let her, but she needed to sleep. It was time to end our disagreement but not in anger. I kept my hold on her so she would know I wasn't angry with her. I would never be angry with her. She was the only thing worth existing for and I didn't want to ruin the time we had together arguing. Beside, she had had enough stress for one weekend.

"I think you need to sleep. This had been a trying weekend for you, and Carlisle will be upset if you walk into the hospital tomorrow looking exhausted." I helped her lay down comfortably with her back to my chest. Then I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close to me.

"I love you with my whole being Edward; that will never change." She said as she rested against me.

"Shhh . . . sleep now," and I did the one thing I knew would calm her down and help her sleep; I hummed her lullaby.

After Bella fell asleep, I reminisced about what almost happened this evening. I had come as close as I ever had of letting my emotions take over. I realized every time we were close, it became harder and harder to pull away from her. I was continually endangering Bella's life being so weak, and I knew I had to do something about the problem. If I left her, it would be best to do it over summer break. She had talked about seeing her mom this summer. Maybe I could encourage her to go visit her mom in Florida and while she was gone, I would leave. Yes, that's what I would do; in fact, that would be the easiest way. My mind was made up; I would not change my mind.

I decided I would spend as much time making memories with Bella while I had time left. My first task would be to etch her face on my mind forever. As I was memorizing her every feature, I heard Alice call my name. At first, I ignored her, I didn't want to lose a minute of the time I had left with Bella, but then I heard urgency in her tone.

I slipped out of bed and rushed downstairs. I found Alice sitting on Jasper's lap and wrapped in his arms. I stared in surprise since Jasper had said he wouldn't come over.

"She called and said she needed me." Jasper answered.

"What's this all about Alice?" I inquired. I knew she'd tell me or she wouldn't have called me down.

"Edward, I want to talk to you about Bella."

"I'm not changing her." Alice was Bella's biggest support for changing her, and I was not about to have this conversation with her again.

"That's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about her, who she is, about something Jasper and I learned in Phoenix. Jasper is here to back up what I'm saying. Edward, do you really understand how special Bella is?"

I was ready to snap at her. How could she even ask that of me?

"Don't interrupt, just listen. The whole time she was being hunted, she never once considered her well-being. She was constantly worried about everyone else's safety. Even when it first started, in the truck, she thought of Charlie first. On the drive to Phoenix, she worried about Carlisle, Emmett, and you. She worried about Esme and even Rosalie. Jasper had a hard time keeping her calm because her fears were not for herself but for everyone else. At times, it confused him because he would send calming messages that she'd be fine only to be met with confusion and resistance."

"Edward, she resisted me a few times. That doesn't happen often but it did more with her than anyone else I've ever encountered." Jasper added.

"On the tape James made," a low growl escaped from me at the mention of his name, "all she talked about was your safety, never hers. Edward, she was sacrificing her life first for her mother and then for you. This is an extremely determined girl. She knows what she wants and if it's taken from her, it could kill her. Maybe not physically but emotionally; she'll be an empty shell." Alice paused.

"Why are you telling me all this?" There was something behind this and I needed to know what.

"Because you've decided to leave her." She accused.

Why deny it, she probably saw it, but I wasn't going to let her or Jasper talk me out of it. "This summer sometime."

"Don't glare at me Edward. I thought you'd want to know what I saw." She looked at Jasper for support. When it was an especially horrendous vision, you turned to Jasper for extra support.

I looked at her skeptically. Did she really see something or was this a ploy to make me change my mind? Her mind confirmed the truth.

_It's true Edward; I'd never lie about a vision._

She was right about that. In all the time Alice had been with the family, she had never lied about a vision. She might hide them, but never lie.

"If you don't believe me, you can look for yourself."

I didn't doubt her; I knew she'd tell me the truth. "Just tell me Alice."

"Bella will get married," I noticed there was no trace of a smile on her face. "But it won't be happy. Three months after the wedding she'll be dead."

"No, you're lying!" I knew she wasn't, but I refused to believe it.

Her eyes took on a look of fear. "Edward, he beats her to death."

"NO!" I roared.

"Calm down Edward," Jasper's voice was soothing.

"The neighbors may not be close, but they can still hear. Jasper, go check on Bella and make sure she's still asleep." Alice gracefully moved off Jasper's lap and he rushed up the stairs. "Edward, as hard as it is to believe, you can see it for yourself."

Her look should have warned me about what I'd see, but I knew if I didn't look, I would never really accept it. It was something I would regret for a long time. I pulled from Alice's mind an image of Bella's lifeless body battered beyond recognition and covered in blood. I wouldn't have believed it was her accept for the chocolate brown eyes that stared lifelessly at me. "Why?" I cried. I noticed Jasper had returned and nodded his head at Alice confirming Bella was still asleep.

"Why what Edward? Why did she marry him or why did he do it?" Alice asked quietly.

"Both." I felt emotionally drained after that brief look.

"I told you, she gave up. She became an empty shell. Life had no meaning for her after you left and it was easy for him to convince her that he could fill the void she felt. She gave in never realizing what type of man he was; no, what type of monster he was. She would call out your name in her sleep and it angered him beyond all reason. It wasn't the first time he beat her, but his anger goes beyond his control the last time. Edward, that's what a real monster acts like. Besides, he never really loved her, he just wanted her."

I buried my face into in my hands. I couldn't allow that to happened to Bella. "I won't leave, not if that's what will happen."

"Edward, there are worse fates for Bella than being changed and remaining with you forever."

"Why, what else have you seen?"

"Every time you decide to leave, I see Bella dying and when you decide to stay, Carlisle changes her for one reason or another. It's like her life has only two tracks. You keep saying you want what's best for her, but from whose perspective are you looking?" Alice had settled back on Jasper's lap and his arms were once more wrapped around her body.

I envied Jasper being able to hold Alice without worrying about crushing her. Every time I touched or held Bella, I had to keep in mind how fragile she really was.

"Edward, we all know you're trying to do what's best for Bella, but there are other factors you need to consider. Alice explained what happened earlier tonight. She understands what Bella's feeling, but I understand what you're feeling. I doubt these feelings will go away unless for some reason you suddenly lose all interest in Bella, but I don't think that will happen." Jasper smiled knowingly.

I agreed with him; it was unlikely my feeling for Bella would ever decrease. In fact, I was positive they would only increase over time.

"I know it's hard to control those emotions, almost as hard as it is for me to control my desire for human blood at times, but getting mad only upsets you which in turn upsets Bella. Whether or not you realize it, Bella sees your anger as her fault because she couldn't control her own emotions."

"So what should I do?" This is a questions I've been asking myself for some time and my answer tonight was to leave, but I couldn't endanger Bella's life more that I endanger it every day I'm with her.

"Well, the simplest solution would be to stop touching and kissing her." I scowled at him. He laughed. "I see that's not an option, so all I can say is to monitor your responses, but hold in your anger. Maybe you should back off sooner if things even seem to be intensifying." Jasper shook his head. "I'm glad this is your problem and not mine." He pulled Alice tighter to him and kissed her neck. "I don't think I could refrain. I'm struggling with the thirst, but not being able to be intimate with Alice would send me over the edge. I don't envy you. Maybe Carlisle could be of some help."

"Thanks."

"I know we've overwhelmed you with information," Alice apologized, "but as far as Bella is concerned, remember, this is an extremely stressful time for her because of the accident and her concern for her dad and you. She won't be thinking of herself or her health, so be as considerate as possible with her emotions."

"I'll remember that." I left to give them some time alone.

I returned to Bella's room and sat in her rocking chair to think. Alice generally wasn't wrong about what she sees, but it was disturbing to know that she only saw two paths for Bella's life. Was Bella right about me trying to circumvent fate by keeping her alive? Was I trying in vain to give her a normal life? I couldn't accept that; I refused to give up on the idea of Bella having a normal happy life full of love, family, and children. As for my feelings for her, I was going to have to be more careful in the future. I would have to stop sooner even though I enjoyed those new emotions. I would have to be careful, also, not to push Bella to far.

As I looked on Bella's sleeping form, I felt my desire for her rise. I wanted her, but I would deny myself the one thing in this world that I really wanted. I would believe that at some point Bella would choose to leave me, and then she would be safe. I could do this if it meant keeping Bella safe; I could allow myself to suffer these losses; the loss of a physical relationship, the loss of self-satisfaction, and eventually the loss of Bella's love.

Bella stirred slightly, and with the stirring, her fragrance intensified, but I smiled as I recognized her normal luscious fragrance. No longer was her fragrance tainted like it was before. My mind wandered back to the accident and Bella's brief look when she first saw me. All the love and trust she had in me shown through her deep brown eyes.

Then I remembered her comment about the wolves. It was doubtful any wolf could have been in the area without leaving some type of tracks, and if there really had been more than one, then they would have left other evidence than just tracks. The only scents in the area that I detected were Bella's tainted scent and Charlie's blood. Even Emmett and Alice detected no other life forms in the area. Whether Bella believed it or not, she had to have imagined the wolves; no other explanation was possible.

I spent the rest of the night staring at Bella and imagining what our life together could have been if I were human.

I kissed Bella's neck as she woke up. I felt her pulse quicken under my lips. Her skin was soft, supple, and fragrant. I wanted more, but held back not wanting to push Bella or myself past the safe point of contact.

"Good morning angel of my life," I whispered softly into her neck.

"No, you're the angel in my life. I, on the other hand, am just a constant temptation in your life." She ran her hand up my arm.

I slowly moved my lips across her neck. "Should we argue about that statement?" She was a temptation that I would not deny, but I wasn't an angel; I was a monster who had temporarily interfered with her real life.

"No because it's a subjective point of view. I see it one-way and you see it another. We would never agree and I don't want to get mad at myself for ruining a beautiful day by arguing with you. Besides, I'd rather have you kiss me than argue with me."

"I like that idea." I carefully flipped her around so we were facing each other. Then I rolled us both over so I was on top of her and using my arms to brace myself above her. "Are you hungry?" I asked.

Bella giggled. It was a light airy sound. Then she offered, "Only for your kisses."

Tasting her lips was a tempting idea, so I tasted them carefully and with restraint. Upon completion of tasting her luscious lips, I refocused on her need for nourishment. "To rephrase that question, are you hungry for food?"

"What time is it?"

"Noon." I said before kissing her again.

"Your kisses are delicious, your scent is delicious, your nearness is delicious – so who needs food." She breathed. Then she tensed and said "Oh!"

"What?" I drew back quickly in case I had unintentionally caused her pain.

"Edward," she added swiftly, "has your dad called about Charlie at all?"

"No. Is that what the 'oh' was about?" I was able to relax. She was justly concerned about her dad.

"I feel so guilty," she confessed. "I woke up this morning and didn't even think about him. How could I do that Edward?"

"Easy. The last two days were very stressful for you. First, you were missing me, then the accident occurred, and finally waking up in the hospital and finding your dad in a coma. All of that was stressful, and last night you slept so deeply that you never uttered one word. It is perfectly reasonable for you to have temporarily forgotten about yesterday's events. Of course, it didn't help that I occupied your mind with other emotions as you were waking," I needed to keep in mind that she was in need of my tender care and concern. I wanted to make things easier for her, so I got up with the intent to make her some lunch.

"Where are you going?" She sounded hurt by my desertion.

"To make you some lunch and to let you have your human moment. What would you like for lunch?"

"A piece of pizza and a glass of milk." She smiled at me.

_She wanted cold pizza? How appetizing could that be?_ I thought. Verbally I said, "Okay, I guess. Will you eat it cold?"

Bella's smile brightened and widened. I very much wanted to know what she was thinking. I walked over to the bed and pulled her to her feet. "What are you smiling at?" I said as I wrapped my arms around her warm supple body.

"The look on your face." She smiled as she kissed my chin. "I want my piece of pizza heated up. Just put it on a plate, drape a piece of paper towel over it, and put it in the microwave for about twenty seconds."

"Is that all there is to it?" I grinned because that would be simple. I kissed her forehead.

"Yes, but it will take me longer to shower and brush my teeth."

"Maybe I'll wait here until you're done in the shower and then heat your lunch while you're brushing your teeth." I lifted her until her mouth was even with mine.

"Okay, but I can't do anything until you put me down." She murmured pleasantly.

"Do you really want me to put you down?" I chuckled. I enjoyed our contact.

"No, I like this. Anything that includes me being in your arms is heavenly to me. Lunch can wait, I'm in no hurry."

"Are you sure?" I placed a few kisses on her soft white neck.

"Yes." She relied and leaned her head back exposing more of her neck.

Did she realize how tempting that action was? My desire for her alone was stronger than my desire to taste her blood. I carried her back to the bed and gently laid down with her. We spent some quality time just kissing and cuddling, but I continually monitored my desires and her response so a repetition of last night would not occur. We continued in that manner until her stomach grumbled about not being feed. That was my cue to send Bella off to have her human moment and for me to choose the right moment to prepare her lunch.


	14. Hospital Visits: Edward

Hospital Visits – Edward

I kept Bella comfortable all afternoon and made sure she had plenty of rest. To help keep her entertained, I took her downstairs and put in her favorite movie, Pride and Prejudice the long version. I knew that would keep her quiet for the rest of the afternoon until Alice arrived and then we could visit her father in the hospital.

Somewhere around three in the afternoon, a police officer arrived to gather Bella's account of the accident. She wasn't able to provide much since, in her words, she had been preoccupied thinking about something else. I knew what her mind had been on; in fact, it was the reason why she hadn't eaten enough in three days and had passed out Sunday afternoon. I decided I would make sure one of the family was always around whenever I needed to hunt.

I felt guilty that part of Bella's suffering was my fault. If I had just stayed away from her, she would have forgotten about me and continued with her normal life. In my mind, it was fine if I suffered, but it wasn't right that I made Bella suffer. Every time I saw her suffer due to my negligence, I felt a ripping in my heart. More than anything, I wanted to stop hurting Bella, but after Alice's vision last night, I knew I couldn't leave her yet. It wasn't that I wanted to leave her, but it would be best for her if I did.

I had also resolved that Sunday night's incident with Bella would never happen again. I would keep a tighter reign on my emotions. Bella admitted it was hard for her at times, so I would make it my duty not to push Bella into losing control. I decided if I maintained complete control of my emotions, then I could stop both of us from coming too close to danger. It would mean, I admitted to myself, refraining from kissing Bella too passionately or too often. For Bella's safety, I would set safety limits.

After the police officer left, Bella continued to watch the movie while I watched her. I loved her facial expressions. I was engraving them on my mind, so that when the time came, I would create a mental image of her to carry with me. I would remember every expression she made for every feeling that she experienced. I found it a pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

After Rose dropped Alice off from school, I took her and Bella to the hospital. Carlisle hadn't called during the day, so I knew no change had occurred in Charlie's condition. I had spent the day keeping Bella's mind off her dad because I knew it would be hard for her after we arrived at the hospital.

Carlisle met us in Charlie's room, and he examined Bella's arms again. He asked her if she had been eating, and I assured him that I had supplied her with nourishment and would personally make sure she didn't skip any more meals. We spent three hours sitting beside Charlie's bed talking quietly.

Alice filled us in on what we missed at school that day. "Everyone was worried about you Bella, but most of the students were leery about speaking to us about your condition. Then at lunch, Angela Weber walked over to our table and asked me how you were doing. I guess she felt I was less intimidating than Jasper and Emmett, and the look on Rose's face would have scared away a bear."

I laughed into my hand. I knew that look, and Alice was right. I saw her use the look on Emmett a few times, and even he admitted it could make him quake in his shoes.

Bella said, "She was with me when I bought the flowers for you and Esme. I told her about how much help you had been after I came home from Phoenix and that the flowers were a thank you gift."

"Well, it was courageous of her. We can be intimidating even if we don't intend to be. Even though Rose sneered at her, Jasper and Emmett were pleasant. Emmett had fun describing the wreckage to her, and I let her know you were fine and would be back in school tomorrow."

"Thanks Alice. I'm glad you gave her the information. I like Angela, she doesn't seem as pushy and forward as some of the other kids at school." Bella smiled at me. "Did anyone ask where Edward was?" Her smile widened.

Alice laughed. "Well, when Angela went back to her lunch table, she shared what I told her about you being home today, and I noticed Mike Newton glaring at us. He probably figured Edward was with you, but other than that, no one asked."

I growled at his name; that boy still annoyed me. Alice and Bella both laughed at me.

"It's okay Edward," Bella added, "I know he can be annoying. You'll just have to learn to ignore him." She ran her hand lightly down my cheek sending shock waves through my body.

For someone who hadn't felt much through the past ninety some odd years, Bella's touch always amazed me because it continually awaked new senses. Even when I knew what to expect, these sensations still took me by surprise. It gave me a better understanding of why Emmett and Rose, Jasper and Alice, and even Carlisle and Esme were always touching each other. Even though I could hear their thoughts at times, I couldn't experience their sensations. With Bella, I was experiencing my own sensations, and while thrilling, it was a little scary. I continually wondered how far these sensations would go and if I'd always be able to control them. If they ever began to control me, they could become a major problem.

I took advantage of the hospital cafeteria to make sure Bella had a healthy supper. I bought a variety of items knowing she would eat what she wanted and leave the rest. I figure it was better to get more than less in case Bella was as hungry as Sunday night. I had monitored her scent all day to make sure it retained it natural odor, and so far, Bella continued to smell like Bella. A short time after Bella ate, I drove Alice and her back home. I stayed at Bella's until ten and then drove home, and after dropping off my Volvo, I turned around and ran back to Bella's. I met Alice coming out as I went in.

"Edward, keep the phone near." Alice commented.

"Why?" Instead of being cryptic, I wished she would just say what she meant.

"Carlisle will call about five tomorrow morning." She was just about ready to run home.

"Wait," I grabbed her arm before she could rush off. "Why will he be calling?"

"Well, why else? Why don't you just look? It would take less time than talking." She laughed at me and stared into my eyes.

She was right, but I didn't always invade her thoughts, but since she invited me, I looked.

_Charlie will wake up and Carlisle will call so you can bring Bella before school to see him. See, nothing serious. I'll see you tomorrow when you come to pick us up for school._ Alice thought all of this as she headed home. After gathering her thoughts, I scaled the side of Bella's house and entered her bedroom window.

Bella was towel drying her hair as I entered. "Edward, why didn't you use the front door?" She inquired.

"It's more fun this way. I can look in and see what you're doing before I enter. Who knows, one day I might see something extremely interesting."

Bella blushed a deep red. "That's not fair. You knew I'd blush and that's the only reason you said that." She walked over to the bed and sat down.

"I love that color on you. It makes you look healthy and alive."

"What, I look don't look alive otherwise?" she pouted.

I loved to watch her lips when she pouted. They looked much fuller and redder, and they were much more tempting. I swiftly sat down beside her and slowly moved in to kiss her. She surprised me by pulling back.

"Edward, you didn't answer my question."

"Yes, you always look and feel alive, but when you blush, there is a healthy glow about you, and I have missed that the last few days. Because of the accident and not eating, you've looked much paler. Even your scent changed. I didn't like that. You still look a little sallow; I mean a little more than usual, so making you blush brings more color into your cheeks and it reassures me that you're going to be fine." I didn't want to make her upset, so for once, I gave her the entire truth without editing.

"I don't know whether to take that as a complement or an insult." She looked deeply into my eyes looking for the truth.

I returned her gaze with a loving smile and slowly leaned toward her once more. "I meant it as a complement Bella." Then I gently and carefully kissed her full ruby lips. They tasted sweeter than usual, and as I pulled away, she let out a deep sigh that intoxicated my senses.

I couldn't resist her aroma, so I gently settled onto the bed after wrapping my arms around her and kissed her neck and shoulder, but stayed away from her lips.

"Edward," she murmured. "I don't want to start something I can't finish, so kiss me one more time and release me. That will be all I can handle this evening."

I complied with her request with a deep chuckle. Her thoughts paralleled mine. Neither of us wanted a repeat of Sunday evening when we both almost lost control. I needed to keep in mind Bella's reaction to my kisses even if they weren't on the lips. Besides, I had promised myself not to allow anything to start that neither one of us couldn't finish.

After I tucked her into bed, I laid down beside her. "Bella, we'll see your father before school tomorrow. Alice says he'll wake up."

"While I'm there?" She was more alert now.

"She didn't say. I just know we are to be there before school, so you need to sleep now. I want you refreshed and rested before we go. I don't want Charlie to think Alice hasn't been watching out for your welfare." I chuckled

"I don't want to get Alice in trouble either. Charlie likes Alice."

I could tell she was settling down. "Good, you just relax and fall asleep." I hummed her lullaby; I knew that would help her relax and fall asleep faster.

"Edward?" she softly murmured.

"What?"

"Promise you'll never leave me," she said just before she drifted off to sleep.

How could I promise her that? One day she would realize that she wanted more than I could give her, and she would ask me to leave and I would. I also knew that a day might arrive when I needed to leave her for her own safety. I never wanted anything but the best for Bella, and I knew that the best wouldn't include me. She deserved so much more; someone so much better than me, but I couldn't tell her that right know. She had more than enough to think about without worrying about keeping a monster around in her future.

I held her all night; I didn't want anything to disturb her sleep including my movement from her bed. She didn't move all night nor did she sleep talk. Around five, I heard the phone and answered it before the first ring finished.

"Edward, bring Bella to the hospital before school."

I knew it would be Carlisle. "Alice told me you would call. Is he awake?"

"Not fully, but he did come out of the coma last evening and now he is sleeping. He may be awake before you arrive, and if not, Bella may be able to wake him up."

"We'll be there; I'll wake Bella now and go home for the car."

"I'll arrange for the night staff to let the three of you in to see Charlie." Then he hung up.

I woke Bella by rolling her so she faced me and then kissing her eyelids and her neck. She moaned slightly as I kissed her neck for the fourth or fifth time, so I stopped.

"No," she complained, "Don't."

I wasn't sure if she didn't want me to kiss her or if she didn't want me to stop kissing her, so I gently kissed her lips; I found she responded in her typical Bella fashion. She twined her arms around my neck and began kissing back. Just as I was about to pull away from her, I felt her tongue touch my lips, "Bella," I murmured softly as I pulled away from her.

She only replied by pulling closer to me and seeking out any spot she could kiss. She began on my neck and worked up to the corner of my mouth. Her lips were so soft and warm, and they sent electrical charges through me. I knew I needed to stop this, so I slowly pulled away from her. Bella kept pulling toward me, and I knew I needed to ask her to stop, but I didn't want to do it in a manner that might offend her.

Fortunately, before I had time to say anything, I heard Alice. "I hate to break up such a lovely sight, but if we are going to the hospital before school, Bella needs to get ready and you need to get the car." Then she chuckled.

Bella moaned as I pulled away, but I wanted her to get up so I said, "Bella, Carlisle called. Charlie is out of the coma."

Bella's eyes opened instantly. "He's awake?" She asked.

"No, he's sleeping, but Carlisle wants you to go talk to him. He thinks that might help Charlie wake up."

"Then let's go." Bella was trying to get up out of bed by pushing away from me and almost fell out of the bed.

"Bella," I grabbed her before she could fall out. "How about you turn over and then get up in the usually manner? I don't need you falling out of bed and injuring yourself."

She smiled sweetly at me. "I'm sorry Edward. I was in a hurry." As she was rolling over, she must've noticed Alice was present. "Oh! I didn't hear you come in. Good morning Alice."

Alice laughed. "I've been here awhile. In fact, I got to see a little of the floor show." Alice informed her, to which she blushed.

"Oh," was Bella's only reply as her blush deepened.

I helped Bella up out of bed, kissed her, and whispered, "I'll see you as soon as I change and get the car. Be careful," and then I was out the window and running home.

After I reached home, I rushed to my room for a change of clothing. What I was wearing appeared slightly rumpled and I noticed some dirt on the cuff of the jeans. I figured it must have gotten there when I was walking round Charlie's cruiser trying to get both of them out. On the way down stairs, I stopped only long enough to say good morning to Esme and to let her know that Charlie was no longer in a coma. I thought she could pass the word onto the rest of the family. Then I rushed out side, slide into my car, and drove to Bella's house. I used the front door this time. As I was about to knock on the door, Alice opened it.

"Bella's still in the shower. She's not as quick as you." She commented.

"I'll fix her breakfast while we're waiting." I wasn't about to let her leave without eating, and I could make an omelet that I knew she would enjoy eating, although to me it smelt unappetizing.

"I'll watch. Maybe I can learn how to cook a little." Alice's laugh was contagious and I laughed with her.

"Yeah, maybe you can cook something up for Jasper."

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of cooking for Bella, and Charlie after he comes home," she replied, the laugh still in her voice.

"What do you mean?" I was slightly confused about where she was going with her comment.

"Well, after Charlie gets home, someone will need to stay around to help. Bella is still in a cast and I doubt Charlie will be on his feet right after he gets home. I figure I can stay with them a bit and help out until they are both fully recovered."

"Do you think that's wise? What does Jasper think of the idea?" I had mixed up the eggs and put them in the pan while we were talking. All I needed to do was prepare the filling for the omelet, which I did as Alice responded to my question.

"Jasper and I talked about this last night, and he thinks it's a good idea. In fact, Esme had mentioned stopping in during the day in case Charlie needed anything while Bella and I were at school."

"You do realize that Charlie really likes you." I didn't know whether to mention some of his thoughts.

"Jasper and I talked about that also. Charlie may like me, but not enough that it would ever create a problem. Besides, in case you haven't noticed, or heard, he is still in love with his ex-wife. I'm just a very pretty face, and in his mind, the same age as his daughter. Jasper is not worried and neither am I. You see Edward, in a well-developed relationship, two people who love each don't hide anything from each other. I just wish you would tell Bella what you're really thinking and why you're thinking it." Alice stared intently at me as if she was reading my mind.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I had finished Bella's omelet and slide it out of the pan onto a plate.

As I walked over to the refrigerator to pour a glass of milk for Bella's breakfast, Alice replied, "Yes you do, you just don't want to talk about it. You're still planning to leave Bella, thinking it is for her own good. What if what you think is the best thing is really the worst thing you could do to her?"

"What is the worst thing he could do?" Bella asked as she came into the kitchen, and she wasn't smiling.

I wondered exactly how much of our conversation had she heard. "It's not nice to ease-drop on others." I kept my voice as pleasant as possible, even though I was still upset about what Alice said.

"You mean like you do when you listen in to the thoughts of others."

"Bella, that's not fair. It's not like I do it on purpose." I protested.

Alice laughed. "Edward, you do to, especially if you think someone is hiding something from you."

I saw Bella look directly at Alice. "So, what did you mean by 'the worst thing you could do to her?'"

Now it was Alice's turn, but would she tell Bella what she meant, and how would Bella take the news about my plans to leave her because it would be for her own good?

_What do I tell her Edward?_ Alice looked to me for guidance.

As long as she wasn't going to reveal the truth to Bella, I would give her another acceptable answer. "Rose," I started. "Alice didn't think it would be a good idea if I told Rose . . ." I was lost about how to finish. I couldn't think of anything.

"It's okay Edward, Bella's part of the family, we can tell her. I thought it would be the worst thing if Edward told Rose that Emmett has a crush on you."

I don't know who was more shocked, Bella or I, but I had to keep it from showing on my face.

"Don't worry Bella; it's nothing serious. Emmett is just impressed with how you handled Billy and his son, and how courageous you were when you faced James, and even though he thinks of you as his little sister, he also has a slight crush on you, but that's just Emmett." Alice laughed lightly.

I hoped her laugh was to lighten the mood and reassure Bella what she said was true, but then I began to wonder how she came up with that so fast. Did Emmett really feel that way about Bella, and if he did, how did I feel about it?

Alice swiftly moved to Bella's side and said, "Look, Edward made you a healthy breakfast, and as soon as you're done, he'll drive us to the hospital so you can see your father." Then she ushered Bella over to the table and helped seat her while I dug silverware out of the drawer so Bella could eat.

No one talked while Bella ate breakfast. Alice watched fascinated as Bella ate, and I sat contemplating what Alice had said about Emmett. I knew it would bother me all day until I found out if it was true or not. I tried searching Alice's mind, but all she was thinking about was how Bella could eat something that smelled so bad, and then wondered how blood smelt to Bella and if Bella, when she changed, would even be able to drink blood if it really affected her in such a negative manner.

As soon as Bella finished, Alice was up and placing all the dishes in the sink. "You take Bella to the car, and by the time you both get there, I'll be done with the dishes and in the back seat."

"Not if I pick her up and carry her," I replied.

"Be fair Edward," Bella added. "Besides, I'm not an invalid. I can walk by myself."

I smiled at her, "You're right. You can walk," and then I added with a soft chuckle, "But can you do it without tripping?"

Bella gave me a wicked smile back. "Just watch." To which, Bella started hobbling slowly toward the door while I gathered up her schoolbooks.

I reached the front door before her and held it open for her. I waited patiently while she maneuvered slowly through the doorway and watched in case she tripped. I had no intentions of allowing her to fall, but proceeding carefully, Bella made it all the way to the car without tripping once. Of course, Alice was already in the back seat waiting for us by the time Bella arrived. I was just about to congratulate Bella on her accident free walk when she hit her head on the doorframe while getting into the car. I was instantly concerned, for the sound of her head hitting the frame was rather loud.

"Bella," I leaned over and asked after she settled into the seat, "Are you okay?"

"So much for an accident-free walk to the car." I could tell she was trying not to cry.

"It's okay Bella. You did walk all the way here without falling." I chuckled softly. I didn't want to make fun of her injury, but I wanted to lighten her mood a little.

"I'm okay Edward. It just hurts a little. It could have been worse, and at least I'm not bleeding." She turned and smiled at me.

I leaned in and kissed the top of her head. "When we get to the hospital, I'll help you out of the car. I don't want you in a bed next to Charlie with a matching head injury." I said it with a grin to let her know I was teasing.

She just smiled back and that made me wonder if she hurt her head more than she was willing to admit. There were some real disadvantages to not being able to read Bella's mind. How could I tell if she was hurt or what she was feeling if she didn't tell me, and what happened to her decision to tell me everything? I was back to the same questions I had asked so often before. After I was seated and started the car, I asked, "What are you thinking?"

Bella looked over at me with an almost startled look. More than anything, I wanted to know what was going through her mind at that moment.

I gently touched her cheek and then pushed a stray hair behind her ear. Once again I asked, but this time softly and low, "Bella, what are you thinking?"

She looked me straight in the eyes and replied, "Nothing really."

"Really Bella?" I knew there had to be more,

I could hear Alice in the back seat. _Maybe she doesn't want to share Edward. Maybe, like you, she wants to keep her thoughts to herself._

I turned and glared at Alice, but then refocused on Bella, who looked at me questioningly as I turned back from glaring at Alice.

"Really Edward, it was nothing. More of wondering if my presence would really make a difference to Charlie."

It didn't sound like the truth, but I would not accuse Bella of lying to me. Maybe Alice was right; maybe this was something Bella didn't want to share, or maybe she was disoriented from hitting her head.

"Come on Edward," Alice prodded from the back seat. "We don't have all day, and we still have to go to school."

I wasn't happy about not knowing what Bella was really thinking or feeling, but I backed out of the driveway and headed to the hospital. Carlisle would be waiting, and if we took too long, we wouldn't arrive at school on time.

"Alice?" Bella turned around and looked at her. "Will Charlie be okay?"

Is that what was worrying Bella? And if so, why didn't she just say so? More than anything, I wished her mind were not a sealed vault to me.

"He is going to be his old self. He'll enjoying fishing, watching games on TV, and going to work. And he'll still love and worry about you," Alice reassured her.

At least that brought a smile to Bella's face. Maybe I had been reading too much into Bella's earlier expression. Maybe she was more concerned about her dad than I realized.

In no time at all, I was parking the car at the hospital. I quickly went around the car and helped Bella out making sure she didn't hit her head again. She smiled at me this time, and I decided I misread Bella completely after she had gotten in the car.

We found Carlisle in Charlie's room and he reassured Bella that Charlie was out of the coma and just sleeping. He then suggested that we leave Bella alone with her dad for a little while, but he instructed Bella to let the nurses know if Charlie woke up. Alice and I then followed Carlisle to his office.

"Has Alice told you she will spend a few more days with Bella and Charlie while he is recuperating?" He asked me.

"Yes. I'm hoping that will not be a problem for her or Charlie. I know Bella could use the help and I was glad Alice was willing to lend a hand." I smiled at Alice. She really likes Bella and Charlie, and I was glad they both liked her.

"Good, and during the day Esme will drop by to make sure Charlie has everything he needs. The hard part might be making Charlie agree to stay home for a few days before he goes back to work. I know he is dedicated to his job, but in this case, he needs a few days at home to rest and I am counting on the two of you to make sure he does just that. If nothing else, encourage Bella to argue the point with him. He may listen to her more than he will listen to us."

"I think Bella will agree to that. She's just as concerned about Charlie's health as you are." I replied.

"How is Bella doing? Any problems or concerns about her health?" He asked.

"She had a hearty breakfast that Edward cooked, but she might have overheard us talking about something that might have upset her." Alice offered.

"And just what were you talking about?" He inquired

"Edward has been thinking about leaving her, for her own good, so he says. I told him it might be the worst thing he could do to her and that's what I think she heard. When she asked about it, we made up a story about something else and told her I was referring to Rosalie. I'm not sure if she believed us though. In fact, I knew Edward wouldn't believe a word of what I said; it was just too ridiculous. I still think Edward should reconsider chang . . ."

"Alice, please don't go there. You know how I feel, and you know why I feel that way." I knew what she was going to say, and I didn't want to have this conversation right now, and if she was right about her last comment, then I wondered how I could have thought, even for a minute, that what she said about Emmett could have been even slightly true.

"You're right, Edward. I know, Carlisle knows; in fact, the whole family knows, but when will you share your reasons with Bella, and doesn't Bella's desire count?"

"Bella's not ready to make a decision like that. She doesn't understand, and I'm not going to put that kind of decision on her shoulders. I want what is right for Bella, and the best thing for her is to remain human."

Alice looked at Carlisle and sighed. "I still believe your wrong, and I hope it doesn't backfire on you. I need to get some fresh air; I'll be back in a little bit," and Alice walked out of the room.

"Do you feel the same way, Carlisle?"

"Edward, no one in this family was ever in Bella's position. Every one of you that I changed was dying and I made a choice. Bella has a choice none of you really had. Her choice is to stay with you because she loves you. It is her life and her choice."

"Carlisle," I growled.

"Don't growl at me," Carlisle warned in that authoritative parent tone.

"Sorry."

"Just listen Edward, and control you temper. When I have to tell cancer patients they must either undergo treatments that will make them extremely sick but might save their lives or refuse them and they'll die, I have to leave the decision to them. I cannot make that decision for them. The same is true of Bella. I know how much you love her, and I know how much it would hurt you to lose her, but the same is true for her. She loves you deeply; to lose you would hurt her just as much as it would hurt you. This is her life that you're making a decision about. The question is, are you willing to give her a say in it?" Carlisle laid his hand on my shoulder. "Think about it Edward. Now, I have to go and make my rounds." Then Carlisle left.

He had given me a lot to think about, but I wasn't ready to think about it at that moment. At that moment, I want to be with Bella in case she needed me, so I left his office and walked back to Charlie's room. By the time I got there, I noticed Alice standing outside the door.

"Alice, is anything wrong?" She was so quiet and stood so still.

"No. Everything is fine." She turned and smiled at me. "Charlie just woke up."

I stood beside and I could hear Bella softly crying. I was about to walk in when Alice grabbed my arm.

"Give her a few minutes Edward."

"Does Carlisle know?"

"It just happened. I don't think Bella has notified anyone yet."

"I'll go tell the nurse, but when I get back, I'm going to be with her."

"Good. I'm glad." Alice smiled in reply.

I walked to the nurses' station to inform them about Charlie and mentioned that Dr. Cullen would want to know right away.

She just smiled and replied, "I know."

I went right back toward the room. I wanted Bella to know I was there for her if she needed me.

Alice was still standing outside, but I motioned her to come in with me.

"Honest," Bella was saying, "I'm find dad. Alice has been staying with me while you have been in the hospital, and the Cullen's are making sure I have everything I might need."

Charlie looked over at Alice and I as we entered the room and smiled.

"Thank you," he said weakly.

I knew from his thoughts he was actually thanking both of us, Alice for watching out for Bella, and me for finding them. He was more concerned about Bella's welfare than he was about his own.

Charlie focused on me and asked, "Is she okay?"

I was glad I could answer truthfully. "Yes. Carlisle says she only has the bruise on her arm and no concussion or broken bones. He did make her stay home yesterday and rest."

"Good." Some of the concern seemed to drain from his face.

"There, dad, I told you I was okay. It's you that we're concerned about. You've been in a coma for two days. I was really worried about you."

I pulled up a chair and sat down beside Bella. Her voice had wavered and I wasn't sure if she could stop herself from crying. I knew she was concerned about Charlie, but this must have been more of a strain on her than I realized.

I noticed Bella was holding Charlie's hand and I watched as one stray tear rolled down her cheek. I placed my hand on her back and gently rubbed it to relax her.

"Bella is right Charlie," Alice added, "We were all worried about you, but Carlisle kept saying your body used the coma as a way of helping itself heal. We just didn't know how long that might take."

Carlisle walked in the door while Alice was talking, when she finished he began his questioning. "So, Charlie, how are you feeling?"

"Okay," Charlie voice was still strained and hoarse.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Something ran out in the road and I swerved to miss it. I guess we ran of the road."

"Do you remember what day that was?"

"Saturday evening. What day is it?"

"It's Tuesday. Do you feel any pain?" These were all typical questions to ask a patient just coming out of a coma to determine what the patient remembered; I remembered these from lectures when I was working on a medical degree.

"Just my head. It hurts and I have a headache."

"Okay, I'm going to check you over some more, but first," and he turned toward us, "I'll need you three to leave for awhile. Bella, you might consider calling your mom, and you did tell Billy Black you would call him when Charlie came out of the coma. Edward, she can use the phone in my office, and then why don't you take Alice to school and come back for Bella."

With that, the three of us walked out of Charlie's room. Bella began to cry softly and asked, "He's going to be okay, right?"

Alice and I both answered at the same time, "Yes."

I took Bella to the office and then drove Alice to school. I was glad Charlie was awake; it was one less thing for Bella to worry about. Alice and Jasper were right; Bella did think more about other people than she did about herself.

After Bella made her phone calls and Carlisle finished his exam, Bella and I stayed with Charlie for half an hour and then he firmly requested that I take Bella to school saying he wanted to sleep and that she could visit him after school.

Carlisle kept Charlie in the hospital until Friday and then Alice, Bella, and I drove him home after school. Alice kept her word and she stayed with them until Tuesday of the following week. Bella informed me that Alice had learned how to cook some simple meals and she was surprised at how talented a cook Alice was, considering Alice had never cooked, well, not that she ever remembered anyway.

Carlisle allowed Charlie to return to work on Wednesday and Jasper was happy to have Alice home again. In fact, he was so happy, that we didn't see them all night and they only reappeared in time for school Thursday morning.

Bella's bruises on her arm where finally fading. In all three had formed on the backside of her arm. First, they were a funny greenish blue color and then slowly changed to purple then black before they began to fade. As the week progressed, Bella became more animate and excited. Carlisle had scheduled to take her cast off Friday after school, and now that Charlie had returned to work, they both acted as if the accident had never happened. Bella never mentioned the wolves again, and I was glad because I had decided she had imagined them, and I was going to tell her that if she mentioned it again and hope that she didn't get mad at me for not believing her.

Bella couldn't contain her enthusiasm on Friday. In fact, I had to keep a close watch on her because she seemed more clumsy than usual.

As we walked from the parking lot Friday morning, she tripped three times. I walked her all the way to the classroom door. "Bella, be careful. I don't want you breaking your other leg before this cast comes off."

She smiled up at me. "Edward, it's not like I'm trying to be careless. I'm just excited and things happen."

"But only to you Bella. No one else seems to have these problems when they get excited."

"Well . . ." she paused and looked as if she were searching her mind for some piece of information. "Maybe excitement and hyper-clumsiness go together for me."

I laughed at that thought. "Only for you. That sounds about right." Then I tried to regain a more serious tone, "But please be careful. I'll be here as soon as the bell rings, but if you trip and fall in class, there will be no way I can stop it, so please be extra careful." I kissed her lightly on the top of her head and held the door open for her.

"I will," she whispered before she turned and walked slowly into the classroom.

That was how her entire day was. I escorted her between classes, but she always found a least one thing to trip on, and at lunch I would swear she did trip on air. Bella may have been excited, but by the end of school, I was overly concerned that we wouldn't reach Carlisle's office without a major accident occurring to Bella. I voiced my concern often, but Bella just laughed and said not to worry because for her this was normal.

When we were finally in Carlisle office and Bella was seated on the table, I let out a deep sigh of relief. Carlisle just looking questioningly at Bella and she told him, "He's just relieved I made it here in one piece." She gave me a huge smile.

"What did I miss?" Carlisle asked.

"Bella has been . . . well, without sounding cruel, she has been less than . . . no, maybe I should say she had been more Bella like than normal." It was hard finding the right words to describe the day.

Carlisle, I could tell, didn't understand what I meant.

Bella smiled at me and offered, "Let me elucidate. I have spent the entire day tripping or almost falling over anything and everything that crossed my path. It was extremely hard on Edward, because he had to catch me each time."

"Oh, I think I understand. 'More Bella like than normal,' meaning slightly more clumsy than usual."

"Yes, exactly." I confirmed.

"Uhm . . . Edward," Bella was looking down at the floor.

Was she mad at what I said? She seemed hesitant to say what was on her mind.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but, uhm; could you leave while Carlisle is taking off the cast?" She looked at me pleadingly.

Why didn't she want me in the room with her? It's not like I hadn't seen her legs before, and Carlisle knew what he was doing so he wouldn't accidentally cut her, but maybe that's what she was worried about. Today hadn't been a lucky day for her, so maybe she was worried something might happen. I could understand her concern and if it helped her to relax then I would comply with her request. "Sure. I'll wait outside." Before leaving, I kissed her lightly on the cheek and squeezed her hand. "Everything will be fine," I whispered in her ear.

To me it seemed like a long time for Carlisle to take the cast off. I had walked outside to breathe in the fresh air. Sometimes the hospital smells became overwhelming, especially if I didn't have my mind focused on something important. At present, Bella was the most important person in my life, but not being with her only made the normal hospital smells worse. I paced around the parking lot, waiting to hear either Bella or Carlisle call my name. I delved around to find Carlisle's thoughts, but he had them closed off. I figured when he was ready to tell me I could come back he would open his mind to me. I wondered why he was keeping them closed. Had something happened to Bella, or was something wrong with her leg and he wasn't ready to let me know about it. The mind can find every imaginable horror when it begins to worry, and I had to control mine before it caused me to act irrationally, like rushing in to Carlisle's office to find out what was going on. If there wasn't a problem, Bella would be upset with me for not following her request, and if there was something wrong, well, Bella would still be upset with me for not listening to her. I had to laugh at that thought. Bella would be mad either way and I wasn't about to be the one to make her mad, so I would wait here patiently until I was summoned. No sooner had I resolved to wait than I heard Carlisle's thoughts. _She's all yours Edward; just come and pick her up._

I had to remind myself to maintain a human pace because it was so tempting to race into the hospital to be near Bella. I found her standing, minus the cast, in the middle of Carlisle office.

"And remember what I said. Just because the cast is off, does not mean you can do everything you did before the accident. You are going to have to go slowly at first. The muscles are still weak and need time to strengthen. Keep that sheet in a convenient place and do those exercises every day."

"I'll remember." Bella was beaming. It had been a long time since I had seen that bright a smile on her face.

"You keep an eye on her, Edward, and don't let her over do it, but don't do everything for her either," he pointed his finger admonishingly at me. "It is time she started to walk up and down stairs by herself," he turned to Bella, "but don't run up or down them either," he warned her.

Bella and I looked at each other and as if we could read each other's minds and we both replied, "We promise," and then we both laughed.

Carlisle smiled and added, "Take her home."

As promised, I allowed Bella to walk all the way to the car, but I watched her carefully in case she tripped and fell. After the day she had, I was surprised she made it all the way to the car without once tripping. As I reached to open her door, she laughed.

"The look on your face, Edward."

"What do you mean?"

"Right now you look disappointed that I didn't once trip so you could catch me. Would it be better if I fell right now so you could catch me?"

"You're a tease, do you know that?" I pulled her into an embrace and lightly kissed her lips. "Come on; let's buy a pizza for your supper, so you don't have to cook for Charlie tonight. Then maybe we can sit on the couch and neck until he comes home." I chuckled at the mock look of shock she gave me before she got in the car.


	15. Hospital Visits: Bella

_AN: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer._

_New Moon will be out in about 4 weeks and my original plan was to have this finished before it hit the bookstores. In order to do this, my chapters will be shorter and some may be in only one PoV. In addition, I will have to get them out sooner in order to make my deadline. I hope that meets with everyone's approval. I do have all the chapters already laid out, and pieces of some already written._

_One extra comment – a number of people have mentioned how Edward's comment doesn't sound like him. Well you would be right if it was meant seriously; however, he said it jokingly but I guess I didn't make that very clear, so I apologize for the misunderstanding. A few of you were also right about why Bella didn't want Edward in the room when the cast came off._

_I hope you enjoy Bella's chapter._

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Hospital Visits – Bella

For me, Monday was a day in heaven. My guardian angel was sitting beside me and watching over me. I knew my life would never be complete without Edward in it. I just wished he knew how much I really needed him in my life. I knew I was pathetic, but I also knew the truth. Edward was the only person who kept me alive, and without him I knew I would die. I didn't deserve him, and I regretted the fact that I was his greatest temptation, but everyday he stayed with me was just one more day of happiness for me. I wanted to share this with him like I promised, but I was afraid if I did I would scare him away. He kept telling me I would be better off without him, but I knew that wasn't true. The truth was, he would be better off without me, but when, or if, that happened, I knew I wouldn't survive.

All those thoughts whirled around in my thoughts as we sat and watched the long version of Pride and Prejudice. Edward made me rest on the sofa but promised we would go to the hospital after Alice arrived. Not only did I spend the afternoon with thoughts of my happiness and unworthiness, but also I anxiously listened for the phone hoping Carlisle would call with the news that Charlie was out of the coma.

The call never came, but a police officer did. He arrived about three in the afternoon wanting my account of the accident. What could I tell him? I wasn't watching or paying attention to the road, I was daydreaming when all of a sudden, the car swerved and the next thing I knew was the car was kissing the trees. Of course, those weren't my exact words, but it's what I wanted to say. I was tired of everyone asking what happened. As I repeated my account of the incident, I watched Edward's face. He frowned when I mentioned the fact that I was daydreaming. I had been daydreaming about him of course, and he must have known it. It was like I could hear him blaming himself for what happened, but it wasn't his fault. Nothing that ever happened to me was his fault. It's just like he said in Port Angeles; I was a magnet for danger, and whether he was around or not, danger would not stay away from me. Why couldn't he understand that? Why couldn't I make him understand that?

After I told the officer everything I could, which wasn't much, he left and we went back to watching the movie. Actually, I went back to watching the movie. I felt Edward watching me the whole time. It was unnerving because I couldn't figure out why he was watching me so intently, almost as if he were studying me for some reason.

I was extremely emotional that afternoon. I don't know if it was an after affect of the accident or if it resulted from Edward's constant staring. I knew he did it for a reason, but fear kept me from examining his reason. I knew the movie by heart, and I knew it had a happy ending, but when Darcy proposed to Elizabeth the first time and she turned him down, I cried, and then I cried when she visited his beautiful house. I knew I wasn't crying for the characters in the movie; I was crying because I felt something was slowly changing and I didn't want anything to change between Edward and I. If I were honest with myself, I would have admitted that the change was a result of my failure to curb my desires. What happened Sunday evening was my fault; I had wanted it to happen, but a fear crept into my soul warning me that I had gone too far; I had pushed too much and now I would have to pay for my error. I didn't know how or when I would pay, but I felt it slowly coming.

This could all be avoided, I knew, if only Edward would agree to change me. I didn't want to grow older. I didn't want to be older than him. All I wanted, and all I would ever want from this point forward, would be to be with him forever no matter what the cost. Why couldn't he understand that? Even more importantly, why couldn't he accept that?

After Rosalie dropped Alice off from school, Edward drove Alice and I to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital, I knew not to expect a change, but it was disheartening to see Charlie still lying in that hospital bed with tubes running into his arms. At least the constant beeping of the heart monitor reassured me that Charlie was alive even thought he was still in the coma.

Carlisle was waiting for us in Charlie's room when we arrived. First, he assured me that all of Charlie's vital signs were encouraging, and then he said he wanted to examine my arms. During the examination, he asked if I was eating well. Even though I told him yes, he looked at Edward for confirmation of the fact.

Edward said, "I have personally made sure she has been receiving enough to eat."

I silently laughed at his comment because his idea of a full meal Sunday night included one peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk, which would have been fine under normal circumstance, but I had been hungrier than that. I really surprised him when I ate half of the pizza he bought for the rest of my meal. Edward did promise Carlisle that he would make sure I ate every meal this week, and I knew Edward would keep his promise. I had to admit, he did have a right to be upset when he discovered I hadn't eaten in almost two days, but he didn't have a right to blame himself for that fact. I caused this myself by being too obsessed with missing Edward, but I couldn't stop myself, when he wasn't around, not much interested me except missing him and wanting him to return quickly.

We spent three hours sitting beside Charlie's bed talking quietly. Alice informed us about her day at school. "Everyone was worried about you Bella, but most of the students were leery about speaking to us about your condition. Then at lunch, Angela Weber walked over to our table and asked me how you were doing. I guess she felt I was less intimidating than Jasper and Emmett, and the look on Rose's face would have scared away a bear."

I knew that look. I had seen it aimed at me numerous times. No matter how nice I tried to be to Rosalie, she just didn't like me. Most of the time, she glared at me as if wishing I would just disappear from her life. I had to admit, though, I admired Angela for having the courage to walk up to the Cullen lunch table to inquire about me. All I could think was, _Hooray for you, Angela!_

Then I told Alice, "She was with me when I bought the flowers for you and Esme. I told her about how much help you had been after I came home from Phoenix and that the flowers were a thank you gift."

"Well, it was courageous of her. We can be intimidating even if we don't intend to be. Even though Rose sneered at her, Jasper and Emmett were pleasant. Emmett had fun describing the wreckage to her, and I let her know you were fine and would be back in school tomorrow."

I smiled at her comment about Emmett. I could just imagine him making it as gruesome as possible. "Thanks Alice. I'm glad you gave her the information. I like Angela, she doesn't seem as pushy and forward as some of the other kids at school." I looked over at Edward and grinned. "Did anyone ask where Edward was?" My hope was that if anyone asked she didn't tell them. Mike wouldn't like it one bit that Edward and I had spent the entire day alone. I felt my smile widen at my feelings for Edward and at how much I enjoyed his company.

Alice's musical laugh floated through the room. "Well, when Angela went back to her lunch table, she shared what I told her about you being home today, and I noticed Mike Newton glaring at us. He probably figured Edward was with you, but other than that, no one asked."

I heard Edward growl. There was no mistaking how Edward felt about Mike. I looked at Alice and just smiled, and then she and I both laughed.

"It's okay Edward," I admitted, "I know he can be annoying. You'll just have to learn to ignore him." I placed my hand on his cheek and then slowly caressed his icy hard skin.

Sometimes I wondered if my touch affected Edward in any way. He seemed so unreadable at times with no smiles, frowns, or other expressions. It was like looking at a blank slate, or better yet, a shuttered window with no emotions revealed for the world or me to see. I thought Sunday evening we had shared some like emotions, but when Edward pulled so quickly away, I began to wonder if it was because of fear that we were becoming too close or revulsion because I overstepped the boundary lines he had drawn at the beginning of our relationship. I couldn't help but also wonder if I repelled him personally. Maybe he liked me more than he loved me and was only just realizing that fact.

As I drew my hand away from Edward's cheek, I saw a slight smile cross his lips. Maybe he did like my touch; maybe I didn't disgust him. Maybe I did have some slight positive affect on him. I started thinking; if I practiced, maybe I could become as pleasing and desirable to him as he was to me. I remembered telling him that it was obvious why he wouldn't be attracted to me, and he replied that I didn't see myself very well. He was wrong about that. I looked at myself everyday, and every time I saw myself, I was reminded of how ordinary I looked.

Sure, I looked great at the prom, but that was Alice's handiwork and had nothing to do with me. Alice just knew how to make something ordinary appear beautiful, but underneath I was still plain, nothing for anyone to become excited about much less breathless over. I'd admit I wasn't an ugly ducking, but then I wasn't a Cinderella either. No, I fell somewhere in between. So, why would Edward want to spend an eternity with someone as plain and unexciting as me?

Edward pulled me from my reverie by taking my hand and suggesting it was time for supper. I smiled at his suggestion and wondered again how someone like me could be so lucky as to have someone like Edward; my heart swell over with the love I felt for him.

Edward overfilled a tray with a vast array of food. I ate what I needed, but my mind kept wondering back to Edward and his feelings toward me. I knew he hadn't lied to me when he told me he loved me, but I felt a change occurring, not in me but in Edward. I kept coming back to the thought that he was pulling slightly away from me, and I wondered again if I had begun pushing him too hard. I admitted to myself that I had done some rash things in the last few weeks, and maybe, without realizing it, I made Edward feel penned in by our relationship. Maybe he was growing tired of my desire to be with him always; maybe he never really wanted to be with me forever.

I did notice one thing specifically that I was grateful for throughout the day; not once did Edward ask me what I was thinking about because there was no way that I wanted to share these particular thoughts with him. It saddened my heart when I felt this way about Edward and me, and if any of it were true, I knew I would break down and cry. Edward not asking what I was thinking surprised me even more because I knew my face must have revealed most of my emotions, but then I decided he must think my concerns were about Charlie, which was only partially true. I knew Charlie would be all right because Alice had said so, what she didn't say was that Edward and my relationship would be all right.

I knew my face betrayed my feelings when, later that evening after finishing my shower, Alice asked, "Are you okay, Bella? You look so disheartened."

"I'm fine Alice," I couldn't tell her the truth, so I hoped she would not discern the lie I told. "I guess it has just been a stressful few days." At least that was the truth; I just wouldn't elaborate on what caused the stress.

"Charlie will be fine. You do not need to worry about him." She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks Alice, and thank you for all your help these past two days." I smiled back at her. I really wanted her to know I appreciated everything she had been doing. Maybe more than she realized, I was considering her my best friend and a sister.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning. You sleep well tonight. It looks like you need a good nights sleep." She kissed me lightly on the cheek before she walked out of the bedroom.

As soon as she left I began towel drying my hair and thinking about Edward. I decided I would demonstrate extra restraint if he touched me. I wanted to show him I could be good and not tempt him. I was slightly surprised as I watched Edward climb through my bedroom window. "Edward, why didn't you use the front door?"

"It's more fun this way. I can look in and see what you're doing before I enter. Who knows, one day I might see something extremely interesting."

He had done it again. Why was it that he could make me blush so easily? "That's not fair. You knew I'd blush and that's the only reason you said that." I moved over to the bed and sat down.

"I love that color on you. It makes you look healthy and alive."

"What, I look don't look alive otherwise?" I pouted. I thought I was getting better and he implied I don't look healthy.

Edward stared at me intently and then swiftly sat down beside me. His next move was slow even for him. He leaned toward me for a kiss, but I pulled back because I was still unsettled by his comment about my health or lack of it.

As I pulled back, a puzzled look crossed his face so I informed him, "Edward, you didn't answer my question."

"Yes, you always look and feel alive, but when you blush, there is a healthy glow about you, and I have missed that the last few days. Because of the accident and not eating, you've looked much paler. Even your scent changed. I didn't like that. You still look a little sallow; I mean a little more than usual, so making you blush brings more color into your cheeks and it reassures me that you're going to be fine."

I looked deep into his golden honey-colored eyes seeking the truth behind his words. "I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult."

A loving smile spread across his lips, and he slowly leaned toward me once more. "I meant it as a compliment Bella."

As his lips met mine, I felt electrical surges sweep through my body. It never ceased to amaze me that he could have this affect on me. As he drew away, I let out a deep sigh. Edward wrapped his arms around me and ever so gently, he laid down on the bed with me. He then proceeded to kiss my neck and shoulder.

I enjoyed his cold lips on my skin, but then reminded myself that I was going to be good and not tempt him. I had just failed, so gathering up all my will power, I murmured, "Edward, I don't want to start something I can't finish, so kiss me one more time and release me. That will be all I can handle this evening."

Edward chuckled deeply. At least I didn't offend him with my comment.

Edward tucked me into bed and then laid down beside me. "Bella, we'll see your father before school tomorrow. Alice says he'll wake up."

I had just gotten comfortable and thought about drifting off, but his comment brought me more fully awake. I couldn't help but ask, "While I'm there?"

"She didn't say. I just know we are to be there before school, so you need to sleep now. I want you refreshed and rested before we go. I don't want Charlie to think Alice hasn't been watching out for your welfare." Again, Edward chuckled.

"I don't want to get Alice in trouble either. Charlie likes Alice," I murmured as I settled back into the restful state I usually felt just before falling asleep.

"Good, you just relax and fall asleep," he whispered in my ear, and then he hummed my lullaby.

"Edward?" I softly murmured.

"What?"

"Promise you'll never leave me." It was the last thing I remembered saying just before I fell asleep.

I dreamt about the accident for the first time that night. I remembered being pinned in the car unable to move in any direction. I could turn my head, but even my arms were pinned to my side. I remembered smelling blood and then looking out the window and seeing Edward walking toward me. I wanted to reach out toward him, but my arms remained pinned by my side. I opened my mouth to call out to him, but no sound escaped my lips. Edward just kept walking; he was going to walk right past the car without seeing me. I felt a tear run down my cheek. He was leaving me alone, and there was no one else around who could help. As he moved out of my line of vision, I heard a low growling noise as I did after the accident. This time when I looked out the window, I saw a lone wolf stealthily approaching the car. If felt his hungry eyes boring into my soul. I wanted to scream Edward's name, but couldn't; instead, I remained motionless hoping the wolf would move away or disappear. I kept reminding myself that this was only a dream until I noticed a thick fog filling the dreamscape and light headedness filled my mind. As the fog enveloped everything, I felt my body being shifted by icy hands. I wondered if this were still part of the dream or if I was slowing waking up. The waking up idea won when I felt cold lips on my neck, and I heard a slight moan escape my lips.

When the lips stopped, I mumbled, "No. Don't."

In response to my request, I felt the lips on mine and without conscious thought, I felt my arms wrap around the cold body lying next to me, and again, without conscious thought, I touched the tip of my tongue to the icy but delicious lips.

"Bella," I heard a soft voice say as the body next to me pulled away.

I wasn't certain if what was occurring was still part of a dream or if I was actually in my room in the process of waking up. I decided if this were still my dream, I would gladly remain in it, so in the dream I pulled myself closer to Edward, began kissing his neck, and then ran my kisses up to the corner of his mouth. Even though it was cold, I enjoyed the feel of his skin, it was so smooth and my lips glided quickly over his skin.

I felt my dream Edward slowly pulling away and then I heard Alice's lilting voice, "I hate to break up such a lovely sight, but if we are going to the hospital before school, Bella needs to get ready and you need to get the car." Then she chuckled.

I had so enjoyed this dream that I groaned slightly as I pulled away from it because of Alice's voice.

"Bella," Edward murmured into my hair, "Carlisle called. Charlie is out of the coma."

"He's awake?" _Charlie's awake!_ rushed through my mind.

"No, he's sleeping, but Carlisle wants you to go talk to him. He thinks that might help Charlie wake up."

It didn't matter. He was out of the coma and I wanted to see him to make sure everything was all right with him. "Then let's go." I pushed away from Edward so I could get up, but the cast was caught in the sheets and I felt myself falling out of the bed.

"Bella," Edward had rescued me. "How about you turn over and then get up in the usual manner. I don't need you falling out of bed and injuring yourself."

I smiled at the awkwardness of the situation. "I'm sorry Edward. I was in a hurry." In order to get up, I had to roll over so I faced the edge of the bed. "Oh! I didn't hear you come in. Good morning Alice." I remembered hearing her voice, but I hadn't realized she was really present.

Alice laughed. "I've been here awhile. In fact, I got to see a little of the floor show."

I blushed as I realized she had seen me almost fall out of bed, and then her comment clicked in my mind. She had been here for a while, so maybe the kiss was not a dream. That means she saw all of it. "Oh," escaped from my lips and I felt my blush redden.

After helping me up and kissing me, Edward whispered, "I'll see you as soon as I change and get the car. Be careful," and then he left.

I grabbed my bag and excused myself. Alice just smiled. As I readied myself, I remembered I would be returning to school. I hoped it wouldn't be an embarrassing ordeal. I wasn't comfortable being the center of attention.

As I came out of the bathroom, I heard Alice and Edward in the kitchen. I could only imagine what they were doing down there, but I used the time to think about a few matters that had been bothering me since early Sunday morning and were brought back to mind this morning in my dream. Edward had said there were no tracks of wolves around the car, but I was certain I had seen them. He was also right when he said if they were real they would have left tracks or traces of their presence. _So what if they weren't real?_ I asked myself. Did I imagine them? That was possible; I was in the process of passing out from the smell. Maybe the smell caused a hallucination. As I dressed, I thought about the possibility of imagining the entire incident because if I hadn't imagined it what else would explain it.

I finally decided I had two options. One, I imagined the entire incident, and two, there was some other explanation that I hadn't thought about yet, and I had to admit I didn't know what other explanation was possible. I decided I would have to think the entire problem over for a while and make a decision about a solution later.

Since that was decided, I finished dressing and slowly made my way downstairs. I could slightly hear Edward and Alice discussing something. It sounded serious, but they were talking quickly and softly. Alice and Edward must've been discussing something serious because neither seemed to have heard me coming down the stairs, so I listened carefully after I reached the bottom of the stairs to catch any part of their conversation as possible.

I heard Alice's voice, which had slowed down, and it sounded like she was asking Edward a question. ". . . is really the worst thing you could do to her?"

Who did she mean by her? Could this conversation be about me, or was it about something in the family; something I didn't know anything about. I didn't want to jump to conclusions, so I decided to ask. "What is the worst thing he could do?" I walked slowly into the kitchen.

"It's not nice to eavesdrop on others." Edward's voice sounded pleasant, but his face reflected his disapproval of the fact that I had heard even that little bit of their conversation.

"You mean like you do when you listen in to the thoughts of others." I too tried to sound pleasant. I didn't want him to know I thought they were talking about me.

"Bella, that's not fair. It's not like I do it on purpose." He protested my observation.

Alice lightened the situation slightly by laughing. "Edward, you do too, especially if you think someone is hiding something from you."

I look directly at Alice hoping maybe she would answer my question. "So, what did you mean by 'the worst thing you could do to her?'"

I saw Edward giving Alice a knowing look and Alice's expression reminded me of how she looked when she was speaking to him with her mind.

"Rose," Edward hesitantly said. "Alice didn't think it would be a good idea if I told Rose . . ." Edward stopped in mid-sentence as if he did not know what to say next.

"It's okay Edward, Bella's part of the family, we can tell her. I thought it would be the worst thing if Edward told Rose that Emmett has a crush on you." Alice offered.

Did Alice really think I would believe this?

"Don't worry Bella; it's nothing serious. Emmett is just impressed with how you handled Billy and his son, and how courageous you were when you faced James, and even though he thinks of you as his little sister, he also has a slight crush on you, but that's just Emmett." Alice laughed lightly.

I wasn't sure exactly what Alice and Edward had been talking about, but I knew it wasn't about Rosalie. Besides, if she found out Emmett really had a crush on me it would be worse for Emmett and me than it would be for her. So what did Alice really think would be the worst thing Edward could do to me? From my perspective, the worst thing he could do would be to stop loving me and then leave me. Was Edward changing his mind about how he felt about me? Again the thought returned, was I driving him away by pushing to hard? If Edward really left me, I didn't think I would have any desire to go on living. I suddenly realized if I kept up this train of thought I would break down in tears, and for what. Besides, I chided myself, I didn't know anything for sure about the content of their conversation.. Maybe I could ask Alice later what it was really about, and maybe, just maybe she would tell me.

Before I had time to think more about this, Alice swiftly moved to my side and said, "Look, Edward made you a healthy breakfast, and as soon as you're done, he'll drive us to the hospital so you can see your father." She walked with me over to the table and held my chair for me while Edward found a knife and fork for me.

I ate my breakfast in silence. Edward made a great omelet and I enjoyed every bite. Alice stared at me as I ate and I felt a little uncomfortable being watched. I noticed Edward was deep in thought about something, but I couldn't tell what he was thinking about.

Alice immediately picked up my dishes as soon as I finished eating. "You take Bella to the car, and by the time you both get there, I'll be done with the dishes and in the back seat."

"Not if I pick her up and carry her," Edward smirked.

"Be fair Edward," I interjected. "Besides, I'm not an invalid. I can walk by myself."

Edward gave me one of his crooked smiles, "You're right. You can walk," but then he challenged with a chuckle, "But can you do it without tripping?"

He was challenging me. I decided to take the challenge and smiled. "Just watch." I decided if I walked slowly and monitored each step, I could make it all the way to the car without tripping. As I was walking toward the door, I noticed Edward picked up my books.

Being quicker than I was, Edward reached the front door and held it open for me. It was too bad he had to wait while I slowly hobbled over to the door; the look of impatience on his face caused me to smile. As I finally reached the door, he carefully watched me to make sure I didn't trip. I knew he intended to catch me as soon as I did trip, but I planned to prove him wrong, at least this time, because I saw this as a personal challenge of my ability to walk like a normal person even in my cast.

A look of amazement registered on Edward's face when I made it all the way to the car without tripping. Of course, Alice was already in the back seat with a huge smile on her face, but I didn't care that she was there before me. I just enjoyed the feeling of proving Edward wrong about making it to the car without one single accident. It was too bad I started congratulating myself before I entered the car, because as I was sliding into the car, I hit my head on the doorframe. I felt so foolish, but then thought it was what I deserved for my prideful display about being accident free. To add to my mortification, I hit my head hard enough that I felt light-headed and dizzy, but I wouldn't admit that to Edward.

"Bella," Edward leaned into the car after I was finally seat and asked, "Are you okay?"

I meant to offer a cheerful humorous reply, but even as I said, "So much for an accident-free walk to the car," I could hear the unshed tears behind my comment.

"It's okay Bella. You did walk all the way here without falling." Edward chuckled softly, but I wasn't sure if he was making fun of me or trying to lighten the mood.

In order to reassure him, I replied, "I'm okay Edward. It just hurts a little. It could have been worse, and at least I'm not bleeding." I turned and gave him the best smile I could muster.

He kissed to top of my head. "When we get to the hospital, I'll help you out of the car. I don't want you in a bed next to Charlie with a matching head injury."

I knew he was teasing with his last comment, but I still felt embarrassed that I had hit my head, and I was mad because it hurt. I didn't want Edward to know any of this, so I just smiled at him.

After Edward was seated and started the car, he asked the question I hadn't heard all day yesterday. "What are you thinking?"

The question actually surprised me. It reminded me of how I meant to tell him all my thoughts, and how lately I had held so many back. Right at that moment, I didn't want to reveal to him that I was thinking how much I deserved to hit my head for being so cocky about walking to the car without tripping. I didn't know what to tell him instead of the truth.

Edward turned toward me, gently touched my cheek and pushed a stray hair behind my ear. I loved his touch so much; it almost made me forget the throbbing in my head.

In a soft low voice, Edward asked once again, "Bella, what are you thinking?"

Totally at a loss for ideas, I looked him straight in the eyes and lied, "Nothing really."

"Really Bella?"

I knew he didn't believe me. That's what happens when you're a terrible liar.

Alice must have said something then, because Edward turned around and looked at her. Then he fixed his focus back on my eyes looking for the truth. I knew I had to sound more convincing, although I kept wondering what would the truth hurt.

Instead, I said, "Really Edward, it was nothing, more of wondering if my presence would really make a difference to Charlie." It was a pathetic reply, but it was the best I could come up with, but I still questioned myself about telling a lie in the first place.

I was happy to hear Alice say, "Come on Edward, we don't have all day, and we still have to go to school."

Alice's comment reminded me of her presence and I couldn't help but turn around and ask, "Alice, will Charlie be okay?"

"He is going to be his old self. He'll enjoying fishing, watching games on TV, and going to work. And he'll still love and worry about you," Alice reassured me.

That bit of hope brought a smile back to my face, but for the rest of the drive I thought about the comment I over heard in the kitchen, and the fact that I had lied to Edward about what I was thinking.

My thoughts had me so engrossed that I was surprised when I noticed we were pulling into the hospital parking lot. True to his word, Edward quickly moved around the car and helped me out making sure that I didn't hit my head a second time. Because I was feeling guilty about the lie, I gave him a huge grateful smile.

Carlisle was already in Charlie's room when we arrived. He informed me that Charlie was sleeping, but that I should stay and talk to him because it might help to wake him up. If Charlie did wake up before Carlisle returned, then he instructed me to contact the nurse's station so they could page him and he would arrive shortly after that. Then he asked Edward and Alice to follow him to his office so I could have some time alone with Charlie.

I felt rather awkward talking to Charlie when I wasn't even sure if he could hear me. At first, I didn't know what to say to him so I just held his hand. After awhile I just started rambling on about nothing in particular. I reassured him I was fine; I informed him he was in the hospital and that Dr. Cullen was taking good care of him, and I even told him that Billy and Jacob had stopped by to see him. I think I rambled on about seeing the wolves, which was more for my benefit to clarify what I had thought had happened. Then I told him about Jacob's old legend about wolves being the friends of humans and about how I didn't think that was right because I thought the wolves were attracted by the scent of his blood.

It was right then that I remembered more of the legend Jacob had been telling me right before he told me about the cold ones. Jacob had said something about werewolves; was that part of an old legend or did that have something to do with the legend about the flood? I couldn't remember it all clearly at the time, and I wasn't going to ask Jacob to repeat it especially if Billy was around. I thought about Jacob's information for a while and decided I could try to find out more online when I was by myself. It was not something I wanted to share with Edward because he would probably just laugh at me.

As I was pondering about Jacob and his legends, I felt Charlie's hand move. I looked down and saw him squeeze my hand. I refocused on his face and asked, "Dad, are you awake?"

At first, he didn't respond, but then I saw his eyes flutter open and I felt the tears begin to flow. I hadn't realized how worried I had actually been until I saw him open his eyes.

"Dad, how are you feeling?" What a dumb question, I thought, as if he'd be feeling fine considering he just woke up from coma caused by an accident.

"Bella?" He looked around disoriented. "Where am I?"

"In the hospital. Do you remember what happened?" I was still crying; it seemed like the tears didn't want to stop.

"I drove you over to the Cullen's house and then we were on our way back home, when something . . . Bella, are you okay?" From the look on his face, he must have remembered the accident.

"I'm fine dad," I reassured him.

"We were in an accident. We hit a tree."

"Yes, and Edward found us and called for help."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Honest, I'm fine dad. Alice has been staying with me while you have been in the hospital, and the Cullen's are making sure I have everything I might need." I didn't want him worrying about me; I wanted him to concentrate on getting better. I noticed Edward and Alice walk into the room as I was talking, and I wiped the last of my tears from my face.

Charlie looked over at Alice and Edward and smiled.

"Thank you," he said weakly.

I hoped he meant that for both of them because Edward had been just as helpful as Alice had. Then I noticed he fixed his gaze on Edward.

"Is she okay?" He totally directed this question to Edward, as if I wouldn't have told him the truth.

Then I realized, I might not have told him the truth because I wouldn't have wanted him to worry. Maybe that's why Edward is always asking me what I'm thinking or asking for reassurance when I answer some of his questions. Maybe he realizes that I lie sometimes because I don't want others to worry about me.

Edward replied promptly. "Yes. Carlisle says she only has the bruise on her arm and no concussion or broken bones. He did make her stay home yesterday and rest."

"Good." I could see some of the concern drain from Charlie's face.

"There dad, I told you I was okay. It's you that we're concerned about. You've been in a coma for two days. I was really worried about you." I found myself crying again, but mustered what control I had to try to stop the tears from flowing. I felt like a waterworks, which couldn't be turned off properly.

Edward sat down in a chair he brought over and placed beside me. I could see him watching me from the corner of my eyes, and I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. Then I felt Edward's hand on my back. He gently began to rub it, which helped me to relax somewhat.

"Bella is right Charlie," added Alice, "We were all worried about you, but Carlisle kept saying your body used the coma as a way of helping itself heal. We just didn't know how long that might take."

While Alice was talking, I saw Carlisle come in the door. He waited for Alice to finish speaking before he asked, "So, Charlie, how are you feeling?"

"Okay," Charlie replied.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Something ran out in the road and I swerved to miss it. I guess we ran off the road."

"Do you remember what day that was?"

"Saturday evening. What day is it?"

"It's Tuesday. Do you feel any pain?"

"Just my head. It hurts and I have a headache."

"Okay, I'm going to check you over some more, but first," and Carlisle turned toward us, "I'll need you three to leave for awhile. Bella, you might consider calling your mom, and you did tell Billy Black you would call him when Charlie came out of the coma. Edward, she can use the phone in my office, and then why don't you take Alice to school and come back for Bella."

We all walked out of the room together, and I, once again, began to cry softly. "He's going to be okay, right?"

"Yes," was the joint reply from both Edward and Alice.

Edward took me to Carlisle's office and told me he would drive Alice to school. He said he would be back after dropping her off.

I hadn't looked forward to making either of the calls, and I kept them as brief as possible. I called Billy first so I would have the excuse of calling my mom. I didn't want to be on the phone with him any longer than necessary. The call to mom was just as hard as the call to Billy. They both asked how he was doing, a question I could answer, but then they wanted to know how long he would remain in the hospital and if there had been any lasting damage. I could answer neither question, since Carlisle hadn't given me any of that information. I told mom I would call her when I knew more, but I told Billy he could probably stop in to visit dad that afternoon, and maybe dad could answer those questions for him.

I was glad when Edward finally showed up. We went back to Charlie's room to make sure everything was still all right, and then we went to school. School was as bad as I had feared. It seemed like everyone stopped to ask me how I was and how Charlie was. I didn't want to be the center of attention; all I could think was why couldn't everyone just ignore me.

Charlie was released from the hospital Friday afternoon. Edward drove Alice and me directly to the hospital after school. I hadn't been aware of any of Alice's plans, but after settling Charlie on the sofa so he could watch television, Alice informed me that she would stay with us awhile to help. In fact, Alice ended up staying with us until Tuesday of the following week. She was more helpful than I realized, and she even learned how to cook some simple meals. Alice surprised me by how quickly she learned and how cooking seemed easy for her. She really seemed to enjoy her time in the kitchen, and when she served a meal, her excuse for not eating was that she had been sampling everything as she cooked. Charlie had no problem believing that, and I was relieved Alice didn't have to force herself to eat anything. Even Esme came over a few times during the day to check on Charlie while he was home, and she ran some simple errands for him. She even did some grocery shopping one day.

Charlie returned to work on Wednesday, but one of his officers had to give him a ride because he still didn't have a car. Wednesday evening, Charlie parked his new cruiser in the driveway. Carlisle warned him not to stay longer than eight hours at work because he was still recovering and had to take it easy for at least one more week. I usually found him at home by the time I returned from school.

It was during the weekend, after Charlie first came home, that I was able to spend a little time on the internet. I located a site about the Quileute Indians and found the legend about the wolves. According to the legend I found on a site about Quileutes and their history, "the Quileutes were changed from wolves by a wandering Transformer," but the site did not explain the term transformer nor did it say they could change back into wolves. Another site said "the tribe was created from wolves by a supernatural transformer," but once again the site made no mention of them being able to change back to wolves, and it absolutely did not mention werewolves. The other noticeable omission from the legend sites I found was any reference to the cold ones. After mulling over the information I found, I finally decided that what I probably saw was only in my mind. It was possible that I did hear some growls, because I remembered the sound preceded my seeing anything, so it was probable that my mind created the wolves to go along with the sound. I didn't shared any of this with Edward because he would just have laughed at me for being worried about a hallucination.

As the week progressed, my bruises slowly faded. I also realized that at the end of the week, my cast would be coming off. Carlisle scheduled its removal for Friday after school. Edward would drive me there as soon as school was over. The week seemed to proceed normally but by Thursday, the days seemed to grow longer. Friday, however, was the worst day imaginable and yet one of the best.

My excitement level was at an all time high. I hadn't felt this giddy since the day Edward and I went to the meadow for the first time. That excitement, I learned, had a nasty side affect. I seemed to be more clumsy than usual. After Edward left that morning, I nearly slipped and fell in the shower something that almost never happened before. After dressing, I started down the stairs and only caught myself in time to avoid a nose dive down them, and to top it all off, I tripped three times walking from Edward's car to my first class. Poor Edward, the look on his face after I tripped for the third time was worth remembering. At first, it looked like he thought I was doing it on purpose, but by the third one, his look was one of utter determination to keep me safe.

As we finally reached my first class, Edward requested, "Bella, be careful. I don't want you breaking your other leg before this cast comes off."

I tried to reassure him by smiling. "Edward, it's not like I'm trying to be careless. I'm just excited and things happen." I wasn't kidding about the last; things did happen when I became over excited, but I was never sure why. It seemed to be a time when I was the most accident-prone.

"But only to you Bella. No one else seems to have these problems when they get excited."

"Well . . ." I tried to think about why this might happen only to me. "Maybe excitement and hyper-clumsiness go together for me."

Edward laughed at my comment. "Only for you. That sounds about right." He was more sober as he added, "But please be careful. I'll be here as soon as the bell rings, but if you trip and fall in class, there will be no way I can stop it, so please be extra careful." He then kissed me lightly on top of the head before holding open the classroom door so I could go in.

"I will," I said softly before turning and walking into class.

Edward escorted me to all my class. As soon as the bell rang to end the class, Edward would enter the room and carefully lead me to my next class. No matter how careful he was, I still managed to trip at least once as I walked to each class. A couple of times it felt like the cast itself was causing me to trip. I could tell the day was wearing on Edward. Each time I saw him, I saw the concern etched more deeply on his face. He finally admitted to me that he wasn't sure if I would reach Carlisle's office with undergoing some major accident. The best I could do was to reassure him that what was occurring was extremely normal for me. That piece of information did not calm him down in the least bit; it only made him look more worried.

I like the fact that he worried about me, but I couldn't help but think that if he changed me, then he would never have to worry about injuries to me ever again. I could have said that, but I didn't want to add to his current concerns, nor did I want him to yell or become upset with me. No, despite the fact that my body seemed to want to fall, Friday was still one of the best days of my life.

When Edward had me finally seated on the table in Carlisle's office, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Carlisle just looked at me as if asking what Edward's sigh meant. I told him, "He's just relieved I made it here in one piece." I looked at Edward and gave him the biggest smile I could manage.

"What did I miss?" Carlisle asked.

"Bella has been . . . well, without sounding cruel, she has been less than . . . no, maybe I should say she had been more Bella like than normal."

I almost laughed aloud because he had been categorically right, but I could tell Carlisle understood none of what Edward said.

To help him out, I offered my own explanation. "Let me elucidate. I have spent the entire day tripping or almost falling over anything and everything that crossed my path. It was extremely hard on Edward, because he had to catch me each time."

"Oh, I think I understand. 'More Bella like than normal,' meaning slightly more clumsy than usual."

"Yes, exactly." Edward confirmed with a slight smile.

"Uhm . . . Edward," I was a little embarrassed by the request I was making, so I looked at the floor instead of at Edward.

I hesitated briefly because I didn't want Edward to take my request the wrong way.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but, uhm; could you leave while Carlisle is taking off the cast?" I looked up into his eyes feeling slightly guilty.

I couldn't tell if he was upset with me or not, but he finally replied, "Sure. I'll wait outside." It was reassuring that before he left he kissed me lightly and squeezed my hand. "Everything will be fine," he then whispered in my ear.

"What was that all about?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, I overheard a girl once telling her friends how embarrassed she was when her boyfriend watched her cast came off. She said the skin was deathly white, her leg looked slightly shriveled, and it was completely hairy. If that's true, then I really don't want Edward to see me looking like that."

Carlisle laughed. "Well she was right. You leg has had no sun and very little exercise, so it will be more white than normal, and it will look slightly shrunken, but it won't stay that way. I'll give you a sheet with exercises you can do to build the muscles back up in your leg, and the hairy part you can take care of when you get home. What I don't understand is what's to stop Edward from seeing your leg when you walk out of here. It's not like these pants will cover up your leg." He pointed to the cut off jean leg.

"Oh, I already thought about that. I have another pair of jeans in my bag over the in the corner." I smiled at him as he laughed.

"Looks like you were planning ahead."

"I try." I replied.

"Well, lets get this thing off then."

It didn't take as long as I thought it would for the cast to come off, but when I saw my leg, all I could think was that now my skin, at least on that leg, was a white as Edwards. My next thought was that I was glad Edward wasn't here to see it. It did look nasty, rather shriveled and in need of a razor. I was happy to slip behind a screen and put on my extra pair of jeans.

"Can I let Edward know he can pick you up now?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, I'm presentable." I replied with a laugh.

Edward walked in as Carlisle was giving me my final instructions.

"And remember what I said. Just because the cast is off, does not mean you can do everything you did before the accident. You are going to have to go slowly at first. The muscles are still weak and need time to strengthen. Keep that sheet in a convenient place and do those exercises every day."

"I'll remember." I felt jubilant to be free of my cast. Now I would be able to walk rather than hobble.

"You keep an eye on her, Edward, and don't let her over do it, but don't do everything for her either," Carlisle pointed his finger admonishingly at Edward. "It is time she started to walk up and down stairs by herself," then he turned to me, "but don't run up or down them either," he warned.

Edward and I looked at each other and then, as if we had read each other's minds, we both replied, "We promise." It sounded so uniform and strange that we both laughed.

Carlisle smiled and added, "Take her home."

Edward did allow me to walk all the way to the car, but he watched me closely; I knew he was expecting me to trip, especially after the day I had just had. I surprised him by making it to the car without tripping once.

When we reached the car, he opened the door, and I laughed. "The look on your face, Edward."

"What do you mean?"

"Right now you look disappointed that I didn't once trip so you could catch me. Would it be better if I fell right now so you could catch me?"

"You're a tease, do you know that?" He pulled me into an embrace and lightly kissed my lips. "Come on; let's buy a pizza for your supper, so you don't have to cook for Charlie tonight. Then maybe we can sit on the couch and neck until he comes home." He chuckled as I gave him a mock look of shock.

As much as I knew he was teasing, I couldn't help but wish he were serious about what he just suggested.


	16. Study Time: Bella

_AN – Disclaimer, all characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer._

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16-Study Time – Bella

The week after my cast came off, I began to notice some of the end of school activities that were taking place. The main one that caught my attention was the end of the year talent show. I thought of Edward when I saw it.

"So, are you going to try out for the talent show?" I smiled at Edward thinking about his musical expertise.

"Oh sure, Emmett and I could wrestle a bear and then suck it dry." He replied under his breath.

"Well, I actually thought you could play the piano, but the bear idea could be extremely interesting," I teased.

"I tell you what. I'll try out if you do." He countered.

I felt all the blood drain from my face. There was not an ounce of talent in my entire body, but I replied, "Oh yeah, I can perform my best skill."

He smiled broadly and asked teasingly, "And what's that?"

"I can hear it now. Watch the amazing Bella trip over air," I finished with a slight smile. "Maybe we should both skip the talent show since one of us has none."

"Bella, you have a lot of talent. I don't know anyone who can out blush you, and nobody has as many mishaps as you." I grimaced and then he swiftly added, "But those are two of the things I love the most about you." His crooked smile spread across his face and then he kissed her.

Too bad Coach happened to turn the corner at that moment because he promptly said, "Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan. Detention."

As soon as he walked off, I looked up at Edward and groaned, "Now look what you've done." I had never had detention in my life. "What I'm I going to tell Charlie?"

Edward only smiled in response. I wished I could read his thoughts at that moment.

I was fortunate; Charlie arrived home late and no one from the school had informed him that I had detention. I was hoping word of my misbehavior did not reach him because I didn't want to explain why I ended up with detention in the first place.

After another week safely passed and Charlie made no mention of the event, I felt I could breathe easier, but only about that incident. As the first week of June approached, so did my next fear – finals. I didn't really mind finals, and I felt sure I would pass all of them except for the Trig final. I feared only that exam. Trig was still hard, and some of the concepts still eluded me. I knew I would have to spend extensive time studying for that exam, and Edward had already reminded me, and probably everybody else, that I could not ask them what would be on the exam.

Jasper and Emmett had taken the exam last year; well, so had Rosalie, but I wasn't about to ask her for help. Cheating was not really something I did, and I would not have asked either Jasper or Emmett what was on the exam, but I was ready to ask their help to study. In fact, the more help I received, the better I felt.

The weekend before finals found me once again at the Cullen house seeking someone to help me study. I knew Emmett and Edward were gone hunting, so I decided I'd ask Alice to help me study. Charlie had given me permission to go to the Cullen's house only after I assured him Edward was camping with Emmett. He was still slightly uncomfortable with allowing me alone with Edward; it was a good thing he didn't know how often I was actually alone with Edward or that Edward spent most nights in my room. Alice offered to help, but also suggested that Jasper also stay and help, because, as she said, he was better at Trig.

I discovered that after two hours of study a person becomes mentally exhausted, so I suggested we take a break. I thought I could use the break to ask Jasper some questions that had been developing while we had been studying.

"Edward mentioned the other day that it was still hard for you to be around me sometimes," I commented to Jasper.

"He's right. I still struggle, and even though you're around quite often, there are times when you become a temptation," he admitted.

"Is now one of those times?"

"Right now is fine. Alice and I were just hunting yesterday. Besides, it does help when Alice is with me. She stabilizes me to some extent." He reached over and took Alice's hand.

"I guess I owe you an apology. Ever since Phoenix, I thought it was easier for you. During that time, it didn't seem like my blood tempted you. I thought you were becoming accustomed to it."

"Phoenix was different. You're life was at stake because of being hunted, and Edward's happiness was being endangered. I was able to focus on helping Edward and you so my concentration was fixed along different lines."

"Oh, I think I understand. Since you were more focused on keeping me alive, you didn't have time to think about bit . . . Oh, no, I didn't . . ." I hadn't stopped to think about what I was saying before I said it. I felt so angry with myself. I knew I was fiercely blushing and hung my head in shame for what I had said. "I'm so sorry Jasper," I whispered, "I really didn't mean that." I felt a tear escape and roll down my cheek; I was so angry with myself.

Jasper put a finger under my chin and lifted my head so my eyes met his. I almost closed my eyes for fear of his look, but when our eyes met, his were dancing with laughter.

"Bella, you can be so funny at times. Why should you apologize? You didn't say anything that wasn't true. I should be the one apologizing for ever harboring thoughts like that."

"No," I replied quickly. "Why should you apologize for what comes naturally for you. I know it's hard, or at least I think I might understand how hard it is." He was still smiling at me. "Well, maybe I don't really, but I don't want to make things difficult for you or any member of the family. I guess I'm overly optimistic."

"Maybe, but I can understand how our time in Phoenix could confuse you. I was trying to be there for you to help keep you calm, which wasn't easy by the way."

"Why?"

"Because you refused to be worried about what you should've been worried about."

"Which was what?" His comment confused me.

"Yourself of course. You should've been worried about your own safety. That's the fear I tried to calm but quickly discovered it wasn't the cause of your overwhelming concern and fear. You were worried about everybody except yourself. Are you always like that Bella?"

I had to stop and think about that. In reflection, I couldn't come up with one time when I truly worried about my welfare. Even that night in Port Angeles, I was scared but I pushed the fear aside in order to face the situation and decide what to do.

My answer reflected my brief self-examination. "I guess so. It's funny you should say that because I've never noticed it. I don't deny the fact that I've been scared or experienced fear, but when faced with extreme situations, I seem to focus on how to escape or others who might be hurt."

"I pointed that out to Edward a while back," Alice commented. "It's one of your special characteristics."

I never thought of it as special, just how I was. "Don't other people think that way? Surely I'm not the only person who considers others first?" I found it hard to believe that other people didn't behave in a similar manner.

Jasper replied, "Most people, Bella, think of themselves first in almost every situation. They focus on what's in it for them, good or bad. Self preservation is a natural instinct, and when faced with danger, most people see their own life as more valuable to them than anyone else's."

"So this makes me special? I don't feel special." I hadn't meant to say that aloud, it was more of thinking aloud. It also mystified me that thinking of others first would be seen as something special, especially since I have always been that way.

"Bella, it's only one of the things that makes you special. I think you're an over-all special person." Alice offered.

"I don't mean this to sound like I'm looking for flattery, but I've always seen myself as plain and ordinary. Now you point out what I consider a normal trait and label it as special. How else do you think I'm special?" I really wasn't seeking flattery, just clarification. Edward kept saying I was special also, but I never saw any special-ness in myself.

"That's another one. Special people see nothing special in them. They are excessively modest and can't admit that there might be something unique about them. But, Bella, look at yourself. Edward is unable to read your mind, and he has never found anyone else whose mind was impenetrable; you constantly place other's welfare and safety before your own; you willingly sacrificed yourself to save your mom, and you're a very pretty young lady."

"No, Alice, I'm not pretty. I know what I look like, and I would never describe myself as pretty." I felt my face flush because I was embarrassed she'd even say something like that.

In reply, Alice looked at Jasper and said, "Tell her."

I looked expectantly at Jasper. What could he tell me that I already didn't know? I was ordinary and I willingly admitted it.

"Tell me Bella, what do you see when you look in the mirror?"

Is that all he wanted to know? Well, that would be easy to answer. "I see someone who is very clumsy, has a forehead that's rather wide and a chin that's too narrow, has large eyes spaced too far apart, has straight hair that seems lifeless, and has a mouth that looks too big. To top it off, I'm short and I bite my nails. Oh, I almost forgot; extremely pale skin."

Jasper and Alice both laughed as I added that last detail. "Bella, you're almost tan compared to Alice and me." Jasper offered through his laugh.

"Yah, well, that's beside the point. I still see an extremely plain person reflected in my mirror."

"Well, either your mirror is lying or you're failing to see the real you. Yes, your forehead is wide and your chin is narrow in comparison, but you have a lovely heart shaped face. Your skin may be pale but its smooth and clear. Your eyes may look too far apart, but when you smile or laugh, your eyes light up and add a glow to your looks. As for your mouth, it has the fullest reddest lips. It's no wonder Edward wants to kiss them every time he sees them. Plus, your hair maybe straight, but it is streaked with highlights, and when the sun hits it right, there is a shine to it." Jasper looked at me as if inspecting me for defects. "No, Bella, you are anything but plain, you just fail to see that when you look in the mirror."

"See, didn't I tell you, and this is from a male point of view." Alice interjected.

I responded in a natural manner, I blushed. I decided to swallow my pride and admit defeat. "Okay, so maybe I'm not totally plain, but I'm still clumsy to the point of threatening my life and the lives of others." _There,_ I thought, _let him argue his way out of the trait._

"Maybe you are, but I dare anyone to claim that doesn't make you special. Nobody can ever measure up to you in that department, and that does make you special." Jasper laughed again. I was noticing that his laugh had a musical quality not unlike Alice's, but the tone was lower. "And one thing that hasn't been pointed out, you blush better than anyone I've ever met."

That comment made me blush even more.

"Because you're so light skinned, your blush heightens you complexion and makes it look rosier rather than just red."

And that comment only made me blush more.

"If you don't stop Bella, I may need to leave the room." Jasper commented.

I had been looking down, but at that comment, my head snapped up, and I looked him directly in the eyes. "Why?"

"Because your blood is too near the surface of your skin and it's flaring up my thirst."

"Oh!" His comment not only caused the blushing to stop, but I also felt all the color drain out of my face.

Alice smiled and took my hand. "It's okay Bella; I wouldn't let him do anything to endanger you or himself."

As I looked at her, I wondered how petite Alice could stop Jasper if he were ever to lose control and come after me. Maybe now was a good time to focus my next question back on Jasper. "What does it feel like, this thirst?"

"Well, I guess to really explain it I'd have to put it in human terms. It might be compared to a hunger but not one felt in your stomach. Instead, it originates in your mouth and then triggers a response in your brain. It's almost like having a craving, but much more intense. The worst part is instead of satisfying the craving, we try to cover it up with a generic substitute. Maybe I could compare it to a deep craving for chocolate and then trying to satisfy the craving with a carrot or a piece of celery. I know that's a rather simplified explanation, but it's the best I can come up with."

I heard Alice laugh. "I like that, satisfying the chocolate craving with a piece of celery."

"I have to admit, that is an analogy I can understand. For Edward, I'm the piece of chocolate being held in front of him, but he must deny the craving and have celery juice instead." The thought was rather funny, and Alice must have thought so too because we both began laughing.

"Well, no more talk of chocolate, juice, or cravings. Let's get back to the Trig test." Jasper's comment reminded me why I considered him the practical one when compared to his brothers.

Two days before the Trig final, Jasper made me an offer I couldn't refuse, and one that even met with Edward's approval.

Since Jasper had graduated and didn't have to attend the last week of school, he suggested coming to school and using his ability to help me become calmer before the test. Then he would stand outside the classroom door and sending me calming vibrations while I was testing. If anyone asked why he was standing there, he planned to tell them he was waiting for me to come out because he had a message for me.

I loved the idea, so on the day of the Trig final, Jasper met me outside the classroom and helped me settle my nerves and become calm. I walked into the class calmer than I had been for the past two weeks. I don't know if his being there helped or if two weeks of studying did the job or if it was a combination of both, but I passed my Trig class with a B. I would have preferred the A, but I knew I worked hard for that B.

I passed all my other classes with A's, except for gym. I received a B in gym and I think coach was being generous considering how dangerous I was to the other students, and how much time I had to sit out of gym because of my broken leg. I could live with a B in gym; it was just too bad I would have to take it in my senior year. I think they should have given me a dispensation for my special life-threatening handicap.


	17. Emmett's Decision: Edward

_AN: Disclaimer, ownership of characters held by Stephenie Meyer. The chapters are shorter, but I'm getting them completed sooner. Hope you enjoy this one, it occurs while Bella is studying with Jasper and Alice._

_To _Angel6582, _you will notice I changed this slightly. Hope you enjoy the addition. Thanks for the help._

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17 – Emmett's Decision – Edward

We had been out in the woods for over a day. I had kept my word to myself and I no longer allowed Bella to be left alone while I was hunting. I knew she would spend the weekend studying for her Trig test. If she needed help, I knew she could ask Alice to help her study. I had already warned Emmett and Jasper that they were forbidden to tell her what was on last year's test. I also told them they were in no way to give her any answers for any questions that might be on the test. They could help her study but nothing more, I said.

Emmett spent the early part of the trip focusing only on hunting, but I could tell he had other things on his mind now that most of his thirst was quenched. We were sitting on a fallen tree, taking a break from hunting.

"So, has Bella forgiven you for earning her detention last week?"

"She wasn't upset with me about that."

"Are you sure? Not only would Rosie have been upset, but she also would've made me pay for doing that to her."

"Bella assured me she wasn't upset or mad about the incident. At least we shared the time together. In fact, we spent the entire hour studying for her trig test."

"Humph," Emmett looked off into the distance. "I wonder some times about the relationship between the two of you. I don't understand why Bella puts up with you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, look at the way you treat her."

"What's wrong with the way I treat her?" I was always careful of her welfare and kept her safe and protected.

"Everything. You don't kiss her with any passion. You keep her at arms length, and you refuse her the one thing she really wants. I'm surprised Bella is willing to wait for you. If I were her, I know what I'd do."

"And what might that be?"

"I'd force your hand."

"How would you propose to do that?"

"Simple, I would put myself in a situation where you would be forced to either change me or lose me forever."

_Typical Emmett solution,_ I thought. "Bella would never do that."

"She might surprise you one day Edward. How long do you think she'll wait for you to give her what she wants?"

"She doesn't know what she wants. She'll find this is a passing fancy and decide it was a mistake, and then she'll resume her normal life like she was meant to."

"If she did, you'd become a basket case. Don't delude yourself Edward. She'll never changer her mind. She's too in love with you. No, her best move would be to put herself in a position were you'd have to either give her what she truly desires or to lose her forever."

"Emmett, the risk would be too great and too foolish. Bella would never do that to herself, or to her parents." I knew Bella would never take such a risk deliberately.

"You don't know that for sure Edward. If the bear hadn't mauled me, Rosie would never have taken me to Carlisle, I would never have been changed, and I would have lost Rosie forever. Being mauled was a very fortuitous event; it gave me what I wanted and now I'll have Rosie forever. I know how Bella feels."

"Well, Bella is not likely to be mauled by a bear, and I don't believe she'll ever intentionally endanger herself."

Emmett laughed. "Edward, Bella already does that everyday."

"How?"

A huge grin spread across Emmett's face. "You once said you're the most dangerous person for Bella to be around. Well, everyday she seeks your company; she is intentionally placing herself in the most dangerous situation possible. One slip on your part could quickly end her life."

"I'm more careful about her well-being . . ." Emmett put up his hand.

"Wait, I'm not finished. You're not the only one who's a potential danger to her, we all are yet she daily places herself in our company. Edward, our whole family is a potential threat to Bella's life, yet she walks into our house with no fear or concern for her own welfare. Face it Edward, Bella already willing endangers her life everyday, and I don't see her wanting to change that situation except by becoming like us."

Emmett was right. I had never thought about Bella's safety with my family except maybe for Jasper, but Alice and I already watched for any problems that might arise from that quarter. Bella did endanger her life everyday just be being with me. _How could I allow her to do that?_ I thought as I stared at Emmett.

"I'm glad you're accepting that fact. Now, have you changed your mind about changing her?" Emmett definitely had a one-track mind.

"No, I have not. I'll just have to be more careful where she's concerned."

"You're so obstinate about this," Emmett roared. "You can't keep her if you don't change her."

"Why not?" I yelled back.

"Because it's not fair to Bella." He boomed. Then he took a deep breath and continued in a quieter tone. "Edward, what kind of lover are you? Bella is a woman. She wants to be held, caressed, and loved. She doesn't want a platonic relationship; she wants passion. Heck, even you can't want that weak of a relationship. Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to really kiss her and touch her in a more intimate way?"

"Yes, but I resist those urges for Bella's sake."

Emmett's laugh echoed through the woods. "Edward, for Bella's sake? Bella wants those reactions from you, and she wants to share her own reactions with you. Besides, how can she tell how you really feel about her if you lock all those feelings inside and don't share them?" He shook his head. "Poor Bella, what she must be suffering because of you."

"Suffering how?"

"Do you suffer when you have to refrain from allowing your feelings full control?"

I only nodded as I looked at him.

"Bella shares those feelings Edward. She suffers along with you, but for her, there is no justification for her suffering. She can't lie to herself and tell herself how noble and self-sacrificing she is because she's doing what's best for you. No, she just suffers, and worst of all, she comes back for more." Emmett paused and shook his head. "Bella **should** leave you."

"What?" I hadn't expected that comment at all.

"No really. She should just walk away from you. Not because she doesn't love you, but because of the pain you're causing her. It would serve you right if she left you. She's too good for you. Not because she is human, but because she's willing to wait for something you refuse to give her." Emmett's eyes were hard. "I'll see you later. I need to find a bear to vent my anger on so I don't hit you or something." With that, Emmett ran into the forest.

Was Emmett right? Was I causing Bella to suffer by keeping her at arms length? Was I unfair to her? Instantly, her face appeared before my eyes. Her eyes were shining and her full lips were spread in an inviting smile. I wanted to reach out and touch her face, but I knew she wasn't within my reach. Not only did distance separate us, but also my vampire existence kept us apart. I needed to take my mind off Bella and focus on something else for a while, so, like Emmett, I decided to hunt something wild.

It was three hours before I saw Emmett again, and I actually heard him before I saw him.

_Yes, that's what I'll do. He won't like it, but I'll do it anyway. Or at least I'll offer! _Then he came crashing through the trees into sight. "Oh, here you are."

"And what was that all about?" I asked, none to pleased about what I saw flitting through his mind.

_Oh sh! He heard that!_

"Yes, and I'm hearing that also. Just spit it out Emmett, you know if you don't tell me what you're thinking then I'll just hear it as you try to hide it."

"While I was gone, I took some time to think about you and Bella. I want to know if there is anyway I or anyone else in the family can prevail upon you to change Bella."

"No." It was a simple straight foreword answer.

"Why? And don't give me the excuse of saving her for someone else."

"I want what's best for Bella, and it is better for her not to have to exist like this. I can't ever imagine Bella hunting for her food, much less drinking blood. Emmett, the smell of blood makes her sick."

"Human blood, but has she ever smelled animal blood. For us it's much less potent, maybe it would not affect her in the same way. Had you thought about that?"

"No, but that doesn't change anything."

"You're still stuck on the 'what's best for Bella' argument. I'm not belittling the fact that you want what's best for Bella, but from whose perspective are you looking from because what you see as best for her may not be what she sees. You see a human husband and children, but all she sees is you. What if that's what's best for her because it's what she wants?"

"Why would she want a monster?"

"Edward, has she ever called you a monster?"

"No, but that doesn't change the fact that I am one."

"To her it does. Has she ever said anything that even vaguely suggests that you're any kind of monster in her eyes?"

"No, not exactly."

"Well, what exactly did she say?"

"Give me a moment."

"Yeah, kick in that photographic memory and dig out her exact words."

"It was a conversation we had when she was trying to guess what I was. Even then, she knew I was different from those around her. I asked her what if I was not a superhero but a villain. She then realized I was dangerous, but she countered with 'But not bad. No, I don't believe that you're bad.'"

"See, I told you. It is not even in her power to see you as any type of evil monster. Only you see yourself that way. So, what other reason do you have for not changing her?" He was staring me down. "Come on Edward, what aren't you saying?"

Maybe I should tell him, and then he would drop this entire subject. "I don't want Bella to be a monster."

"Who said she would be a monster?"

"Look at us Emmett. People see vampires as monsters for horror stories. I don't want Bella to ever be looked at that way by others or herself."

"Would you see her as a monster if you changed her?"

"Of course not."

"But you see yourself as a monster. Why?"

"Because that's what I am when I desire human blood. Even Bella saw the monster in me that first day in biology class."

"Did you tell you that?"

"No."

"Look, Bella admitted you were dangerous, but refused to believe you were bad. Edward, she's in love with you; I doubt she sees you as anything monstrous. If she did, she would have run screaming in the opposite direction; instead, she stands at our door and knock so she can see you. Worse, she lets you stay in her room at night and sleeps without fear. She does sleep while you their, right?"

"What else would she do? She's human; she has to sleep."

"Well, I haven't personally gone over to Bella's at night to watch what the two of you do after the lights go out, but obviously she doesn't throw you out, so she can't be afraid of you."

"What we do or do not do is really none of your business," I thought Emmett was over stepping certain personal boundaries with that question, "but you're right, she doesn't throw me out. In fact, she asks me to stay."

"So, there, she doesn't see you as a monster. What's in her best interest is from you perspective only and she's definitely in love with you. All your arguments are invalid, so now you can change her."

I could see he hadn't given up. So, very firmly, I replied, "My answer is still N – O. No, I will not change Bella."

"Then maybe I should do it for her."

I took a step back from him as if I had been hit. In fact, his words did hit me hard, almost as if he had punched me in the face. "You'll do no such thing." I growled.

"Better me than somebody else's car." He growled back.

"That was an accident." Both our tempers were flaring.

"Edward, how soon before you realize that the accidents won't stop, not for Bella at least."

"You are not going to change her, nor is anyone else."

"Why Edward?"

"Bella would hate me if I changed her or if I let someone else change her."

"Oh please!"

"What's that mean?"

"Bella loves you. She will welcome the change. She'll never hate you because she is totally and irrevocably in love with you."

"She only thinks she is in love with me."

"Give me a break." Emmett's dissatisfaction with my opinions was evident in his voice and look. _Hasn't he listened to a word I have said? How dense can one person be?_

"Emmett, Bella has a right to fall in love with someone who can make a family with her. Someone who doesn't have to kill her but can live a normal human life with her. One day Bella will find someone she loves better than me."

"Yeah, that's like saying someday Rosie will drop me for someone she loves better, or Alice will tell Jasper to take a hike because she has a new love. No, neither they nor Bella will ever find anyone that they love more than they love us. Look, I'm going to prove she loves you and only you. How I don't know, but I'll find a way."

Emmett was utterly incensed with me, but I felt the same way about him. His arguments were not going to change my mind. What I was doing was for Bella's benefit. I wanted her safe, protected, and alive, and I would not jeopardize her life in anyway.

For the rest of the hunt, we mutually agreed to disagree and no more was said verbally on the topic of Bella's change. Unfortunately, that didn't make Emmett stop thinking about it. He went over in his mind numerous ways to broach the subject with Bella, and he even practiced making her the offer of changing her, but he was never satisfied with what he said or how he presented it.

At first, every time his mind wondered on to the topic of changing her, I glared at him, but eventually I stopped because I realized he wasn't finding any way to make her the offer without feeling he had done it poorly, so he would go back to planning a new way. It seemed that Emmett would not be making her the offer anytime soon, because he was unable to find the right words. The decisive factor came when he began to realize that even if she accepted his offer, he was not sure if he could stop after he bit her.

I made a mental note to myself; the next time I needed to hunt, I would go with Jasper. At least if he wanted to discuss Bella's situation, he could pacify me afterwards.


	18. Time Alone: Bella

_AN: None of these characters belong to me; they are all the work of Stephenie Meyer._

_This will only be from Bella PoV, and so will the next chapter. I am running out of time, New Moon ships this week from Amazon. I hope everyone is still enjoying the story even if the chapters are a little shorter._

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18 Time alone – Bella

The first weekend of summer vacation, I spent in Edward's room. The cover story was that Alice wanted to have a slumber slash makeover party, and since Charlie would be fishing all weekend, he was glad to know I wouldn't be bored or alone.

Edward and I planned to spend the majority of the time alone in his room. Of course, he did have plans for Saturday night, which included dinner out. I made Edward promise nothing fancy, but when he warned me Alice bought me a dress for the occasion, I tried to protest, but he gently coaxed me by saying it would please Alice, and that Alice assured him it was a simple dress. Simple in Alice's eyes meant sleek, stylish, and probably too expensive, but I unwillingly gave in because I had nothing else in my meager wardrobe to wear to a stylish restaurant. I knew Edward would not down grade, but it was worth a try. Alice was ecstatic about the date because it meant she would do my hair and makeup, except this time I gave her a one-hour limit. I told her if she couldn't do it in an hour than she was doing too much. Beside, I had no intension of spending the entire day imprisoned in Alice's luxurious bathroom.

Edward told me the dinner was my reward for passing my trig exam, something that might not have happened if Jasper hadn't been around to keep me calm just as he promised.

He did have one teacher who stopped to ask what he was doing loitering outside the classroom door. In the typical Cullen-Hale manner, he smiled at her – yes it was a female teacher – and told her he had a message for me from my doctor, his dad, but it wasn't important enough to disturb the test, but it was important enough to wait for me to leave class. I imagine she melted at his smile and from that point on he wouldn't have had to say anything, but he did and his soft alluring voice probably caused her heart to beat wildly and she probably experienced a shortness of breath. He didn't tell me her response, but it was probably something like 'whatever you do is fine with me' and then wishing he'd do whatever with her. It was all very predictable because I'd seen it happen so often with all of the family, male and female alike.

Edward used the same tactic on Ms. Cope in the office on my first day of class, but that time it failed as he tried to change his biology class. I was extremely pleased it didn't work. Maybe fate had already taken a hand in my life.

I drove over to the Cullen house soon after Charlie left on his fishing trip. As I drew closer to the house, I decided either Alice had a vision, or Edward had heard my truck because he was standing on the front porch waiting for me. As soon as I reached him, he rushed me up to his room. I had little time to say hello to anyone.

"What's the rush?" I inquired breathlessly. I felt embarrassed by my apparent rudeness caused by my brief greeting to Carlisle and Esme. "And I noticed, besides Carlisle and Esme, no one else is around."

Edward just smiled. "That was the whole point. Jasper's keeping Alice occupied so I could get you alone before she railroaded you into her bathroom."

"For that I am heartily grateful. So, where are Emmett and Rosalie?"

"Let's just say for his own good Emmett is distancing himself from you, as per my request." I noticed his crooked smile slowly spread across his lips.

I felt like I missed some kind of inside joke. "Okay, so why are you requesting Emmett to keep his distance from me?"

His smiled broadened more. "So, what would you like to do today?"

"Have you answer my question." I stomped my foot in frustration. I didn't like it when he avoided answering my questions, especial since there were times when he asked questions I didn't want to answer but he'd smile and look deeply into my eyes and I would blurt out the answer without conscious thought.

He growled playfully as he stared at me, and then leaped. I instantly closed my eyes and felt myself sailing through the air. When I finally opened them, I found myself cradled in his arms on his sofa.

I laughed remembering the first time he did that. It scared me, surprised me, and thrilled me all at the same time. I liked it when he became playful, but I did have an idea of how I wanted to spend the day.

"Edward, do realize every time we are together, we spend most of that time locked in each others arms? Now, don't get me wrong. I love your arms around me, but what does everyone else do just to have fun?" I could tell from the hungry look in his golden eyes just what he was thinking, so I quickly amended my comment. "Besides that, what do the others do just for fun?"

"Throw snowballs, race through the forest, play baseball, hunt; you know the usual." He grinned knowing I did not excel in athletic activities and he'd already said I wasn't allowed to watch him hunt.

"Ha ha, that's very funny. There must be something we could do together that would be entertaining and interesting, yet not involve, you know, the other thing." There went that blush again. Would I ever be able to talk to him candidly without blushing?

A thoughtful look came over Edwards face. "That is an interesting question, and brings up another interesting one. Is our relationship based on any other interests besides the physical attraction?"

"Or the scent attraction for that matter?" I countered.

"Oh, because I find your scent so intoxicating?" He gave one of his most alluring smiles.

"And visa versa," I replied.

He blew his breath on my face. "You mean like that?"

"Do you have any idea of the effect your scent has on me? Do you remember when you said I was your brand of heroin? Well, the same is true of you. Even that first night, when you handed me your jacket to keep me warm, I couldn't resist your scent that clung to that jacket. I can some times tell when you're walking up behind me because of your scent." I was leaning toward him because I found his scent as irresistible as he found the scent of my blood.

A sigh escaped Edwards slightly parted lips. "And I though you liked the smell of leather? You can really smell my scent on my clothes and in the air? Bella, you shouldn't be able to do that. I should only be noticeable when I breathe on you like this," and he gently blew on my face again, but this time I nearly passed out. "Bella, are you okay?"

"No. Twice too close together overwhelms my sense. Do it again," I smiled weakly, "and I will totally pass out on you." I noticed I was still cradled to him.

"Only you Bella, no one else has ever been as affected in this manner like you. It only increases my belief that you are a very unique human being."

"Everybody keeps telling me that, but I still find it hard to believe."

"What do you mean everyone?"

"Well, awhile back Jasper and Alice both pointed out the fact that for a human I was special. In their opinion, more special than other humans they've generally met."

"They're right. You are one of a kind." He chuckled.

"I'm odd, in other words, like I don't fit in with everyone else." I frowned at the thought; it was what I always felt about myself.

"No, you're not odd. Let's call you exceptionally unique. If I looked for the next one hundred years, I don't think I'd every find anybody else like you."

"That means I would be an exceptionally unique vampire also, given the chance." I knew what was coming next, so before he could utter a word, I rushed right on. "But that does not answer my current question? What can you and I do together just for fun? Do we have any common interests that we can share with each other?" I pushed away from him and sat upright on the sofa. If we were going to talk, we needed to break from our romantic embrace.

"Nicely side stepped."

I turned toward him and tried to put as shocked a look on my face as possible. "I don't have any idea about what you are talking about."

"Oh come on Bella," there was that crooked smile again. "You deliberately changed the subject."

Trying to sound offended, I replied, "No, I was returning the conversation to the subject at hand. Do we not have any interests in common? Is there nothing we could do together that would be fun and entertaining?" Now I was becoming a little worried that our only shared interest was the physical love we felt, but a good relationship had to be built on more than that. I felt so strongly about this that I told him what I had just thought. "Edward, a relationship is built on more than just the attraction we have for each other," and without realizing it, I added aloud, "Maybe that is why mom and Charlie's relationship did not work out?" That realization made me feel sad and a little empty inside.

Edward looked thoughtful and then asked. "What do you enjoy doing?"

From his look, I could tell Edward was beginning to take our conversation a little more seriously.

"Well, I like to read, and I would lay out in the sun in Phoenix and try to tan while I was reading. As you should have been able to tell when I first got here, tanning didn't work very well."

"What would you and your friends do for fun?"

The decisive moment had arrived. In the past, I avoided this subject, but it was time to reveal the horrible truth about my past in Phoenix. "I didn't really have any friends, just acquaintances." I decided, as long as I had started, I might as well tell him everything. "I usually sat alone at lunch. At night I would do my homework and watch television with my mom, and on weekends, I would clean house and then curl up on the sofa or lie in the sun and read."

"That's sad. Did no one see what a truly lovely and wonderful person you were? Was everyone in Phoenix blind?" For a fleeting instant anger flashed across Edward's perfect features, but then his look softened and empathy replaced the anger. "Poor Bella, alone in the world with only strangers who wouldn't keep you company."

"No, not alone, I did have my mother, and for the most part, I preferred to be alone."

"Yes, but she deserted you by getting married." He caressed my face with his hand. It was an extremely loving and comforting touch.

"But it was her life to live, and she chose to live it with Phil. Maybe that's why I came here to live with Charlie, because I knew he was alone too. Maybe I was thinking we could be alone together." I had a moment of feeling sorry for myself, but then I collected my thoughts and realized we had once again detoured from the original topic. "What do you do, Edward, to have fun?"

"I collect cars and music. I play the piano, but not always for fun. Sometimes music helps when I need to think, or get over being angry. Sometimes I would just go off by myself to be alone, but I don't enjoy that anymore. I don't want to be alone; I want to be with you." His eyes took on a serious look, and then they brightened. "You realize you've changed my world. I had always felt complete in myself. When you entered my life, I discovered a hole I didn't know existed. Then I found out you filled that hole. All the things I though about myself in the past were lies I told myself because I didn't know any better."

"Didn't you ever have a girlfriend before, some one you were serious about or felt something special for?" I really didn't want him to answer this question because if there were someone in his past, I didn't want to know about her.

"Well, there was someone a long time ago, but that was an arranged match."

I noticed he avoided looking in my eyes as he said this. Was she someone he cared for? Did he lose her when Carlisle changed him? Was that why he wouldn't look at me?

"My father arranged it. He thought it would make me happy, and if not happy, at least less lonely."

If it were possible, I would have growled. How could any father do that? Pick someone hoping they might find happiness. "So, what happened?" Did I really want to know?

"She found someone else, and is now very happy," he finally looked at me and I saw the laughter in his eyes.

"Rosalie," I said under my breath.

A deep chuckle escaped his lips as he continued to stare into my eyes. "Yes, can you imagine what my life would've been like if I would've agreed to that match?" He reached out and gently moved a stray piece of hair off my face and behind my ear.

The surge from his touch caught me off guard. It made me wonder if his touch had ever affected Rosalie like that or if she had ever touched him and caused him to feel that way. "How did you know she wasn't what you wanted?"

"First, I never felt interested in her. Second, when we talked, we always ended up yelling at each other. Her voice gets a shriek to it when she is extremely mad, and when she's that mad she throws things."

I saw him slightly shiver, and I knew the temperature didn't cause it so it had to be the memory.

"We're all much happier when she found Emmett, and I gladly relinquished her to him. Not that I ever had her or wanted her, I was just happy Carlisle finally understood that it would never work between us."

"Why do you suppose he choose Rosalie for you in the first place?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe because she was beautiful and thought that's all I needed was someone beautiful, plus I guess she was handy."

"What do you mean handy?"

"She was dying. As I said, Carlisle never changed anyone who wasn't first dying. And what about you, was there never anyone who you had a crush on?"

"No." That was any easy question. I found most boys rather shallow and uninteresting. Even when I was younger, I discovered you couldn't have an intellectual conversation with them. The boys I knew only wanted to talk about sports, cars, and girls, three topics that held little interest for me.

"Why, weren't they pretty or brawny enough?"

I slapped his arm playfully and lightly knowing it would hurt if I hit too hard. "More like nothing interesting upstairs. Now tell me something about you that I don't know."

"Like what?"

"When did you start collecting music?"

"Almost from the beginning of my change," he replied with a far off look in his eyes.

"Tell me more."

"What do you want to know?"

It was at times like these that I wished he could read my mind. "Why did you start collecting it, what makes you choose some and not other, and everything else about your collection."

He took a deep unnecessary breath and began. "I was always interested in music even as a human, but my real talent didn't appear until after Carlisle changed me. From that point on, I could hear things in the music that I hadn't heard before and that fascinated me, so I had to learn more. It helped to go to concerts and then to collect the pieces I really liked. Of course, when I first began my collection it consisted of records. The old records were almost a quarter of an inch thick, very durable unless thrown. That was when I first learned Rose threw things when she became very upset." He paused for a moment and scanned my face.

I figured he was deciding whether I was interested enough for him to continue. My face must have reflected my interest because he started to tell me why some music was better than others in his opinion. He then preceded to explain why he choose to collect some types and not others, how he decided on the merits of individual works, and how his collection progressed from records, to LPs, to 8-track tapes, cassettes, and finally CDs.

When he finished telling me about his music collection, I asked his about his car collection. It was easy to follow his discussion about what made on piece of music worth keeping while another he considered a piece of trash, but when he pointed out the merits of one car over another, I had a hard time understanding some of what he was saying. I remembered mom once advising me that if I was interested in a boy and he started talking about something I was either not interested in or didn't understand, then I should look interested, nod my head a lot and make appropriate short remarks like 'yes, interesting, tell me more, or really.' She said any small acknowledgement like that would assure the boy I was listening and wouldn't reveal my ignorance or disinterest in what he was saying. I used that piece of advice while Edward talked about cars.

I thought I was doing well hiding my lack of understanding until Edward asked. "How much of what I'm saying don't you understand?"

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"Bella, did you understand any of what I said?"

"Yes I did."

"Okay, tell me what you understood about why one car is better than another."

I felt like I was being given a pop quiz over a lecture that had been confusing and for which I had little interest, other than it was Edward who was speaking. "Speed was a factor in choice." Maybe I could redeem myself a little so he wouldn't know how lost I was about what he had been saying.

"What about it?"

"The thing about how long it takes a car to go from 0 mph to 90 mph, and how fast a car is actually able to go." _There, that wasn't so bad_, I thought.

"What else?" His smile took on a wicked look.

Maybe this would be worse than I thought; I knew I could pull out one more factor I understood. "Gas mileage was another consideration." Maybe I could salvage his opinion of me just a little. "You compare the difference of in town to highway driving, and look at how much fuel each vehicle does or does not burn." I smiled slightly.

"Anything else?" Yes, his smile had a definite edge to it.

I looked away shining topaz eyes. "No." I admitted hanging my head.

Edward chuckled, put his finger under my chin, and tilted my head up so our eyes met. "At least you seemed interested, but I could tell you were lost early on."

"How could you tell?"

"From your eyes, they are very revealing when I take the time to look deeply into them."

"Then why didn't you say something earlier. I would have understood if you had been disappointed in my ignorance."

"I didn't stop because I wanted to see how long you would've let me ramble on, and I wasn't disappointed."

"Then what did you feel?"

"I found it fascinating that you would allow me to bore you without telling me to stop. I wanted to know how long you would've pretended to be interested."

"I would have let you continue until you were ready to stop." I may not have understood what he said, but I loved the tone of his voice and that edge of excitement I heard in it when he talked about his cars he cherished over the years.

"Why?"

"I was enjoying watching and listening to you as you became more animated and excited about your hobby and because you were enjoying yourself,"

"You are amazing Bella. Most girls would have given subtle hints that they were disinterested and wanted to change the topic, but not you. You allowed me free reign, and I actually did enjoy telling you about my cars and my choices, I'm just sorry you were bored."

"Oh no Edward, not bored, just lost. I didn't understand all the car terminology, but I enjoyed hearing about the different cars, even though I have no ideas of what most of them looked like."

"You're amazing Bella." He kissed me lightly. "So tell me, what was your childhood like?"

"Two words, accident prone." I laughed.

"Surely not all of it, there must've been other significant moments." I notice his eyes searching mine as if wanting to see what was in my mind.

"Not really. I generally marked the passage of time by what accident happened around the time."

"What's the first accident you remember?"

"You really want to know?" I looked at him questioningly. What possible interest could it be to him?

"We're building a relationship remember. I want to know every detail of your life."

"Okay, first incident, believe it or not, was when I was about three. Mom kept me in a crib thinking the bars would keep me safe, not that I remember that part, but she told me that a lot. Anyway, I had this teddy bear and he fell out of the crib and I leaned over the railing try to reach him," I stopped as Edward burst out laughing. "Well, if that's your response, I'm not going to finish."

His laughing stopped a little, but his eyes held all the laugher he was not releasing. "No, please," he chuckled a little more, "I want to hear the rest."

"Promise not to laugh." I replied seriously.

He looked at me for a moment and said honestly, "No, I don't think I can promise that, but Bella, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the picture this is creating in my mind. I do promise to try to hold back."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Okay, I guess that will have to do. Anyway, I leaned over and tumbled out. I remember biting my tongue because that was the first time I knew I could smell blood and that it made me dizzy and sick. Mom rushed in because of the crash and the crying. When she asked what happened, I told her teddy pulled me. She had no idea what I meant. She just kept saying everything would be okay, and I didn't have the words to tell her about feeling sick. She didn't learn about the affect of blood on me until I was almost four when I split my chin open falling off a chair. By then I could tell her about the smell and how sick it made me feel just before I passed out."

I noticed Edward shaking silently as he suppressed his laugher as best as possible.

"Okay, enough accident stories or you'll burst. Just let it out and get it over with." I huffed.

Edward's laughter echoed around the room.

I gave him a few minutes before I finally asked, "Are you finished laughing at me?"

"Bella, don't you ever laugh at yourself?" He asked after suppressing some of his laughter.

"No. I generally get angry, maybe not always at myself but at my lack of coordination. I use to believe it was extreme bad luck, but I've discovered luck has nothing to do with it. Instead, it's just part of who I am, admittedly a part I don't like. Now I just try to live with it and avoid people who might get hurt if they're too close when the next accident happens. Maybe that's why I've never really made friends, and maybe that's why I'm so comfortable around you. No matter how accident prone I am, I know I'll never hurt you."

Edward became more serious. "I wish I could say the same," he said thoughtfully.

"What? That you'd like to avoid me?" I countered. I knew he didn't mean that, but I wanted to see what his response would be. He hadn't looked at me when he made the comment so he didn't see the slight smile I had as I replied.

"No!" He looked up instantly, and then paused as he noticed the look on my face. "Don't joke Bella. I worry about your safety especially when you're around me."

This time I laughed. "Who's more dangerous to my life, you or me? I don't need to be around you Edward to put my life in danger. I did that all the time when I was growing up."

"I don't find that funny. I could hurt you without meaning to."

"And I can do the same thing to myself, without meaning to." I countered.

He briefly looked dumbfounded. "Okay, I can't really argue that point any more because you're right. You can be just as dangerous to yourself as I can be." Then he added, "Do you realize we have been talking for sometime without, as you put it, being locked in each others arms? Maybe part of building a relationship is just talking to each other and sharing feelings and thoughts."

"Well, I must admit, I do feel closer to you because of what I have shared and learned. So maybe you're right. We're building our relationship just by talking."

We both smiled as he noted that fact.

"So, I told you what I do for fun, now tell me what did you and your mom do for fun?"

"Sometimes we'd go shopping. We didn't always buy things, sometimes we'd just go into fancy stores and talk about what we'd like to buy, and then daydream about what we'd do with the purchases, or where we'd wear the fancy clothes we had imagined we bought."

"Much like Alice, accept she buys everything she wants and then brings it home to show everyone, and she talks incessantly about where it will all go."

"Yes, she does like to shop." I stopped for a moment lost in thought. "Edward," I paused wondering if I should ask my question and then decided he could only say no but I hoped he'd say yes, "My mom is coming to Seattle next week. She thought this could be our summer vacation. She plans on taking me shopping while we're there." The next part was harder. "Maybe you and Alice could come to Seattle for a few days. You could get to know my mom better, and she could have some time to adjust to us being together. Maybe Alice would like to go shopping with us." I looked at him expectantly but before he could reply, Alice answered from the opposite side of the door.

"Yes, we'll both be there, and I'll see you in one hour Bella to do your hair and makeup."

I smiled at Edward seeking confirmation.

"She decided quickly," he laughed, "And I've learned never to argue with her when it pertains to shopping. I guess we have a date in Seattle."

I liked that idea, besides I had been wondering how hard it would be to be separated from Edward for an entire week. Two-day hunting trips were bad enough, but a whole week was incompressible. "So, what would you like to do for the next fifty minutes?"

"I have a few ideas," he growled playfully as he looked intently at me.

It was a very enjoyable fifty minutes; fifty because I knew Alice would be early.


	19. Vacation:Bella

_AN: Stephenie Meyer is the owner of these characters and I thank her for allowing me to use them._

_This will only be from Bella's PoV, because New Moon is out and I want to finish this quickly. I have only three chapters left after this one. Thanks for reading and reviewing._

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19 Vacation – Bella

Mom's flight was scheduled to arrive Saturday afternoon, and I had planned to drive to Seattle in my truck, but Edward wanted me to drive his Volvo. I fought the issue until he mentioned the idea to Charlie. Charlie happily agreed with Edward that it would be better if I didn't take my truck. They were both afraid that it might suffer some mechanical difficulty during such a long drive, and besides, it wouldn't go much over 50 mph. I ended up admitting defeat; I decided I couldn't fight them both.

I did warn Edward that I couldn't promise to return his car in exactly the same condition as he lent it to me. I reminded him of my reputation for accidents; he just smiled and said if I broke it, Rosalie could fix it. I hoped he was right.

I left home early Saturday morning; Charlie said it would take about four hours to reach Seattle and part of that depended on the ferry and whether or not it was running on schedule and what the water conditions were like. Mostly it was an uneventful trip. I arrived just in time to be the last car onto the Edmonds-Kingston Ferry, and even the trip across Puget Sounds was mostly uneventful. I was grateful that I didn't suffer from motion sickness because the water had been slightly rough, and I did spot a few people hanging over the rails; I avoided these people. My only mishap occurred when I was walking back to Edward's car; I tripped over a slightly raised board and scrapped the palms of my hands and my knees when I fell. Fortunately, it wasn't serious enough to need medical attention, and the best part was no one witnessed my ungraceful commission of the incident.

The rest of the trip was sunny and uneventful; even finding the airport proved easy. It didn't hurt that I was competent when it came to reading a map. Charlie accurately predicted the time it would take to reach Seattle. I left Forks at eight in the morning and arrived at the Seattle airport a little after noon. Renee's flight was due in at one, so I had a little time to tour the airport gift shops. It would have been prudent of me to bring a book or two as diversion while I waited for mom's plane to land because every time I looked in a shop window, I saw something that reminded me of Edward.

Eventually I found a shop where I purchased a magazine, and then I found a place to sit and read while I waited. Mom's plane landed on time; I was thankful for that, and as soon as she saw me, she rushed over and hugged me.

Mom talked all the way to the hotel asking a myriad of questions some I could answer and others I couldn't. Of course, her first question, after how was I doing, was where I got the car. I explained to her about Edward's offer, and Charlie's encouragement that I take up Edward's offer and how both of them worried that my truck might suffer some mechanical difficulty while I was away. I did have to admit it was a pleasure driving Edward's car; first because his smell lingered through out it, and second because it drove quieter and smoother than my truck. Don't get me wrong I loved my truck but for long distance driving, I would pick Edward's Volvo every time.

Mom had our first few days all planned. She wanted us to be tourists for her first two full days in Seattle, but we spent Saturday settling into our room and then she grilled me on my life in Forks.

She began with simple questions like what did I think of the town, the people, and the weather. For the first two I told her I liked them very well, and on the weather, I said I was adjusting. Then she asked me about my friends; who were they, what were they like, and what did we do. I told her about Jessica, Angela, Mike, Eric, and Tyler and how I met them, but besides being in school with them, we didn't do much together outside of school. Then I talked about Alice and Jasper and how they helped me study for my trig exam, especially that Jasper was very supportive even on the day of the test, but I didn't explain in details how. I shared with her about all of the Cullen family, the things we did together, and the time I spent at their house.

Then she asked me how things were going with Edward. She specifically wanted to know, but didn't ask outright, if I still felt the same way about him as I did right after prom. She was referring to the email and phone call I made to tell her that I was in love with Edward. I knew she would eventually turn the topic in that direction; she was my mom and she was concerned about me. Besides, we both knew I'd never been in love before, so for both of us this was a first. My first romantic involvement and her first time dealing with my romantic encounter. I decided the truth was easier but I would carefully edit what I would share. I told her all about the prom and that Edward danced with me most of the night. She was amazed since she knew I didn't dance, but I told her Edward put my feet on top of his and then danced me around the room. I felt very animated and excited as I talked about Edward. I told her how considerate he was, how careful he was of my safety especially after the accident, and how kind and loving he was toward me. I must have gushed on for an hour about Edward's sparkling merits as a friend and boyfriend.

I hadn't realized the affect it would have on mom until she took my hands and said, "You really do love him." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Yes mom, I do. I would give him my life if he asked for it."

"Bella, I've never seen you like this before. You've never made any attachment this strong ever in your life. I'm happy for you and scared."

"Why?" Why would my mother be scared for me?

"What happens if Edward isn't as attached to you? What if he finds someone else, or decides he doesn't want to commit to a lasting relationship?"

"He promised me forever. He does love me just as much as I love him. I really want you to get to know him better. You'll like him."

Mom smiled, "I think I said the same thing to you about Phil when I started going out with him, and you did discover you liked him."

"Yeah, he was nice, and he did grow on me. So, about Edward. . ."

"Yes, I would like the opportunity to get to know him better." Her smile broadened. "When is he coming to Seattle?"

I looked startled. "How did you know?"

"I'm not stupid Bella. Once you started talking about Edward, I could hear the longing in your voice. You're already missing him and it hasn't even been a full day. I figured you probably invited him here so we could become better acquainted. We didn't have much time in Phoenix while you were in the hospital."

"Then it's okay if he comes?"

"Honey, I'd like to know Edward better especially now. If he's to be an important part of your future, then I'd better take some time to ask him some very important questions."

I let out a small groan. "Don't overwhelm him, and please don't tell him any embarrassing stories about me as child. I have enough embarrassing moments now as it is."

"I will be a model of decorum." She held up one hand. "I promise."

I had forgotten how easily mom could make me laugh. I was pleased that she wasn't opposed to meeting and talking to Edward, but I still needed to let her know Alice would be coming also.

"One more thing mom, Edward isn't coming alone."

She looked a little surprise.

"He's bringing his sister with him."

"Alice?"

I was surprised she remembered her name. "Yes, when Alice heard we were going shopping, she glowed with delight. I thought it would be okay if she came along; I'm not sure if Edward will go shopping with us or not, but Alice loves to shop."

"The more the merrier." She gave me a serious look. "I really don't mind Bella. They're your friends, and I want to get to know them better."

I was relieved she accepted my plans for having Edward and Alice around for a few days, and she was right, I was already missing Edward. I knew tonight would be hard. He didn't stay with me every night, now that the cast was finally off, but if I had a bad night, he always seemed to be with me in the morning. Occasionally, although they were becoming less frequent, I would still have nightmares about the dance studio and being hunted. On those nights, I would always wake up and find Edward near by. Either Alice had informed him ahead of time, or he was watching from outside the house on those nights he didn't stay with me. I wasn't sure which it was, but I was always grateful of his presence.

Mom and I ordered in pizza for dinner, and then we talked and watched television for the rest of the evening. Around ten, I said good night and went to my room. I was glad she didn't request to share a room with me. I liked having my own space, and I was hoping while Edward was in Seattle, he'd spend his nights with me. It wasn't a big fancy room, but it was comfortable. I also found the room extremely lonely. I hadn't realized how much I missed Edward until I laid down to sleep. I ended up humming my lullaby just to help me feel like he was near by, but it was early morning before I finally fell asleep.

Mom arranged Sunday as museum day. She had a list of all the local museums that we could visit, so during breakfast, we went through her list with my map in hand and we planned the day's itinerary. She did notice I hadn't slept well, but I just blamed it on an unfamiliar bed.

We spent an enjoyable day touring a variety of museums; art, natural history, and one on flight, but my favorite was the 'Experience Music Project.' All the way through, all I could think about was how much Edward would like this place. It had hands-on exhibits, audio guides, and live music.

I think I mentioned Edward to mom a few times during the tour because she finally said, "And when is Edward coming?"

"Tuesday," I replied automatically.

By Sunday evening, I was happy to sit down and not move. We ordered Chinese this time because I was too tired to go anywhere else. I think even mom was glad places around Seattle offered delivery.

Monday's plans include a driving tour that mom ordered reservations for. We traveled in an air-conditioned coach and toured not only Seattle but also the Puget Sound area. We crossed the bay on ferries twice, but were able to get out of the coach and go up to the observation deck so we could watch the scenery.

As much as I missed Edward, I did enjoy the tour. I mentioned the second part to mom, but I think she guessed the first part because sometimes I would see something and mention how Edward would like it. Every time I mentioned his name, a peculiar look crossed mom's face. I couldn't tell if it was a good or bad look. I wanted to ask her about it but was afraid to because she might say I was obsessing about him too much. No matter what she would've said, I did know one thing for sure; I ached inside from missing him.

When we returned to the hotel, I asked mom if she would mind if I went to my room to lie down for a little while.

She replied, "Sure honey. Take about an hour and then I'll knock on your door and we'll go out for dinner."

"Thanks mom," I was surprised she didn't ask me what was wrong or if I wanted her to check up on me. I had a feeling she was keeping something from me because just before we parted at my door, she smiled and kissed me on the cheek before she went to her room. I watched her retreating back wondering what that had been all about, but I was glad to have a little time to myself. As I entered my room, I noticed a hint of a familiar fragrance. All I could think was I missed Edward so much that I was hallucinating.

As I stepped further into the room, I saw Edward lying on my bed. Without thinking, I ran and leaped toward him. Fortunately, he caught me before I fell on top of him.

He smiled as he caught me and pulled me to his chest. "Bella, what were you thinking? You could have hurt yourself."

I smiled guiltily and replied, "I wasn't thinking, I was reacting. How did you get in here? Why are you here?"

Edward chuckled. "One question at a time. Answer one; the desk clerk was kind enough to let me in. Answer two; you're mother called this morning and asked if I would be willing to come a day early. She said something about you pining away. Don't you want me here?"

"My mother called you?" That piece of information shocked me. I had to think about it for a moment, and then I remembered yesterday at the music museum and how often I mentioned Edwards's name.

"Yes, Bella, she really did. She said you were almost in tears yesterday and she realized how you felt about being away from me. She said something about Phil also, but she must have said it away from the phone because it was so soft that even I didn't really hear all of it."

I laid my head against his chest. "I do want you here, but I'm surprised my mother noticed any of that. I did talk about you when we were at the 'Experience Music Project,' but it never occurred to me that she would call you." I quickly look up into his eyes. "How did she get your phone number?"

"She called Charlie and got it from him. So, did you miss me?" His crooked smile slide slowly across his lips.

"Tremendously," I said just before I kissed him softly on the lips. "Did you miss me a little?"

"No," he said seriously, "I missed you a lot. I was almost ready to suggest to Alice we leave today, but your mom preempted my suggestion. I happily informed her Alice and I could drive into town today."

"Does she know you're here in my room?"

"How do you suppose I got the desk clerk to let me in?"

"Wow, does she trust me that much?"

"She mentioned that she had the room right next to you, and that she believed I'd act like a gentleman. Then she said the walls weren't very thick and she'd be listening."

I laughed. "That sounds like my mom. Well, at least I don't have to hide the fact that you're in my room, but I don't think Charlie would like it much."

"So don't tell him." Edward then rolled so we were both on our sides, and I was resting on the bed with his arms wrapped around me. "It's a good thing I'm a gentleman, or we might have a problem here." Then he kissed my neck.

Edward and I shared one hour of just holding each other and talking softly. I knew the hour was up when I heard a knock on the door. Edward was up in an instant to open it. Alice and mom were both waiting outside, and it was decided we would all go out to supper together. Edward drove his Volvo, and I saw his hands moving along the steering wheel, it looked as if he were caressing it. I wished he'd start to caress me like that but with mom and Alice in the back seat, it could become embarrassing.

Edward took us to a nice Italian restaurant but he and Alice excused themselves from eating by saying they had eaten earlier right after arriving in Seattle. Dinner was delicious and Edward nonchalantly picked up the check. When mom protested, he told her Carlisle had given him some extra money specifically for paying for meals. He said Carlisle exact words were, "You'll not impose yourself on Bella and her mother. You pay for any meal you eat with them; it's what a gentleman does in such circumstances." Then Edward added that he learned a long time ago not to argue with Carlisle.

Tuesday was spent sightseeing per Edward's guidance. He showed us places most tourists didn't know existed. Many of his locations were actually outside of Seattle and a few required short hikes. Edward made sure he held my arm any time we had to do some hiking. He told my mom that he refused to ruin her vacation by having to take me to the emergency room. About the time he said that, I took a nosedive after tripping over a tree root, but he caught me in time. We all laughed about the incident, and mom assured Edward that she was accustomed to required emergency room visits. She informed him that the doctors at the local hospital in Phoenix had all known me on sight and had been on a first name basis with me for more than ten years. I should've warned mom that discussing my childhood accidents also fell under the category of embarrassing childhood memories.

Once again, Edward paid for lunch and dinner. At lunch, he and I shared our meal, that way he made it look like he was eating and would hand it to me under the table and I ate it. I don't think mom even noticed because Alice kept up an animated conversation with her. We followed the same routine at dinner. Edward ordered a steak for two, and what I didn't eat Edward found another way of disposing of it. What Alice did with her food, I wasn't sure.

Nighttime was the best. After we all said good night, I took my time in the bathroom and by the time I emerged, I found Edward already on my bed. I had told him I would leave the window ajar so he could get in. I slept well that night and didn't have any nightmares. He left early enough in the morning to return in time to pick mom and me up for breakfast.

Wednesday was our scheduled shopping day, and Edward even consented to tag along. I did request one specific store to visit. I had originally planned to visit the bookstore the Saturday of the spring dance, but had postponed it to spend the day with Edward in the meadow. We shared our first kiss that day. I wouldn't have given that day up for anything, but now I finally had a chance to visit a good bookstore and I wasn't about to miss that treat.

Mom enjoyed shopping as much as Alice did; the only difference was the stores they chose. Mom frequented J.C. Penney and Macys while Alice preferred Kenneth Cole NY and Chico's. Mom just stared at me as Alice picked out some gorgeous but expensive clothes.

"The Cullen family has money, like the families of a lot of the kids I went to school with in Phoenix, but her family doesn't flaunt it," I whispered softly to mom while Alice was engrossed in tops a few aisles over. I knew Alice probably heard me, but I had to explain to mom so she wouldn't worry that Alice was spending more than she had.

"You know Bella, if there were such things as magical beings, I know just which one Alice would be." Mom's comment came out of thin air and totally shocked me.

I found myself briefly speechless, and then I managed a weak, "Oh!" My voiced registered my surprise. "And which one do you see her as?" I finally asked.

"Alice would be an elf. She's so graceful when she moves. Her every movement is like a choreographed dance, and her bell like musical laugh is infectious. Yes, she is definitely elf-like. Very ethereal." Mom confided.

"That's interesting mom." However, mom was right; a person could compare Alice more to an elf than a vampire, especially if one followed the stereotypical description of a vampire. I remembered once thinking Alice had an elf-like face.

"Well, don't tell her I said that. I wouldn't want to offend her." Mom whispered.

"I doubt you'd offend her. I think she would be flattered by your comparison."

"Still, don't tell her what I said, okay?"

"Sure mom." How could I tell her that Alice had already overheard what she said? If she thought Alice was elf-like, I wondered if she had any thoughts about Edward. "And does Edward remind you of any mythical creatures?"

"Not that I can put my finger on, but Dr. Cullen, well he reminds me of a picture I once saw of a Greek god."

I chuckled into my hand as I thought of the picture I saw of Carlisle in his office with the three other vampires from Italy.

Mom looked at me and asked, "Bella, please don't tell him that. It would be too embarrassing."

"It's okay mom," I said holding in my laugh as best as possible. "I won't repeat this conversation to anyone," but I imagined that Alice would when she got home. At least mom wouldn't know about it, so she wouldn't be embarrassed by the knowledge.

Just as mom described, Alice skipped over to us in her unusually graceful steps. She was holding up two tops. One a sapphire blue and the other an emerald green.

"So what do you think?" She asked with her musical laugh.

"They're absolutely gorgeous." Mom replied.

"Which one do you prefer the most?"

"The blue," I said.

"The green," mom answered at the same time.

Alice laughed again. "Good, that will work." Then she skipped off to pick up her selections and whisked them to the check out counter.

Mom and Alice headed to J. C. Penney next, while Edward, who had been to the music store, was meeting me at Barnes and Noble. I spent one whole hour searching through books and finding a few choice novels to read. I was extremely delighted in my choices and Edward just watched as I skillfully and thoughtfully made my choices. In fact, a few times, I saw him just staring at me and I decided I would have to ask him about that later.

We met up with Alice and mom and then headed back to the hotel with our purchases. Mom decided we needed to rest for a few hours and asked Edward and Alice if they would meet us later for dinner. Edward informed mom that he had reservations for 7 pm at a nice restaurant and Alice handed mom a bag saying she bought us something to wear for dinner.

Mom was about to argue, but Alice just looked in her eyes and melodiously replied, "Please accept this as a gift from one friend to another."

I saw the dazzled reaction on mom's face and smiled; I knew Alice had won the argument before mom really had a chance to start.

I spent a little time in mom's room sorting through our purchases and then looking in the bag at what Alice had purchased for us. Inside were the blue and green tops she had shown us earlier and two simple but elegant black skirts. Mom took the green and I took the blue, probably as Alice had planned. Mom was amazed that Alice had even chosen the correct sizes without either one of us trying them on.

I was still curious about mom's elf comment earlier. "So, what made you make the remark about Alice reminding you of an elf?"

"Well, as I watched her shopping, I noticed how gracefully she moved about, as though she were floating rather than walking, and she is such a petite little thing that I was reminded of a story I once read to my children at school about an elf. She reminded me of a picture in the book. Are all her brothers and sisters like her?"

"You mean elf-like?"

"Yes, and graceful."

"Not elf-like. Emmett, her oldest brother is much bigger." I chuckled as I pictured him.

"Bigger? What do you mean bigger?"

"His build is bigger, and he's taller than his brothers, but he's still gorgeous looking. In fact, all three of her brothers are gorgeous, but Emmett, well, let's just say I could imagine Emmett wrestling a bear when he and his brothers are out camping." I wasn't about to add 'and sinking his teeth into said bear to drain it of all its blood.' That would be a little too much information for mom.

I decided some time ago that it was best never to tell mom or Charlie about the Cullen's true difference to the rest of us.

"Jasper is about Edward's height and not as . . ." I wanted to say scary as Emmett, but that didn't seem the right term to use with mom. "Well, as overwhelming as Emmett in stature. In fact, of the three, Jasper is the most studious, and he is quieter than his brothers, but just as good looking. Then there is Rosalie; Edward's other sister. She would make an excellent model. She has the looks, carriage, and demeanor to be a drop-dead gorgeous fashion model."

"It seems like everyone in the Cullen family is beautiful."

"Yes, you could say that. Even Esme is beautiful, but she is also the most endearing, very sympathetic and caring. Just the sort of mom needed for such a big family."

"It sounds like you know them all fairly well."

"I'm trying. They are Edward's family, and Alice is my best friend, so I do spend time with them, and I sat with his brothers and sisters during lunch at school. So yes, I have gotten to know them fairly well. Besides, Emmett likes to treat me like his little sister, and I never had a big brother before; it's kind of nice to be treated like that."

"You did have a rather solitary childhood. I'm sorry you never had a brother or a sister. Maybe you would be different if you had a brother or sister, more sociable. Instead, you always seemed to isolate yourself from others and spent a lot of time alone. That worried me; I felt like I should've encouraged you to develop more friendships, but even when I tried to arrange for you to meet someone your own age, you shied away from the relationship."

"I don't think it would have mattered, mom. I liked being by myself. I always had time to think and read. Until I met Edward and his family, I never felt like I wanted to make close friends with anyone. I preferred to be alone. Even when Charlie tried to encourage a friendship between Billy's two girls and me, it didn't work. We were just too different."

"You always did seem different from other children your age; always more grown up, more mature than they were. It didn't bother me until I realized you didn't socialize with your peers very often, but then I realized that you were happy even without a great deal of peer involvement so I decided not to interfere. Was I right not to?"

"Yes mom, you were. I was happy. I liked being by myself. It gave me time to do things I enjoyed, like reading and taking care of you and the house. I never felt like I wanted more in my life, and besides, I always felt uncomfortable around people my own age. I never knew what to talk to them about because their conversations were so juvenile. It's not like that with Edward and his family though. I feel comfortable around them and more at ease. I can tell Edward just about anything; I find him extremely easy to talk to."

"You really are serious about him." It was more of a statement than a question.

"I did tell you how I felt right after the prom. Do you remember?"

"Yes, and I was worried at first that you didn't really understand how you felt. I can see I was wrong. It shows in your face when you're with him and when you talk about him."

"I can't even imagine my life without Edward. I've given him my whole heart." I couldn't tell her I wanted to give him my life, as in bite me and let me become immortal, because she would never understand that.

"What else have you given him?" She focused her eyes intently on me.

Was she asking me what I think she was asking me? "What do you mean by 'what else'?"

"Well, I remember how teenage boys were, and I don't think they have changed much since I was a teenager. They seem to have two major thoughts at this age, sports and sex."

"Mom!" Why do parents always bring sex into the conversation when boyfriends are involved?

"Bella, I'm concerned about you and your well-being. You've told me how much you love Edward, and it seems you've pretty much given your life over to him. It is only natural for me to worry about you, especially now that you have a boyfriend. As a mom, I'd like to know has he asked you to have sex with him."

I could see she wasn't going to drop the subject. I guess now was the best time to address this topic. "Mom, Edward has three main interests. First, he likes to collect cars, second he enjoys music, and third he does everything in his power to keep me safe and protected. That means he even protects me from himself. Plus, Edward is not a typical teenager." How could I tell her that there was nothing typical about Edward? "So to answer your questions, he hasn't asked me to do that."

"And if he does ask you, what will you do?" I could see the worry on her face.

I smiled slightly but blushed very deeply and answered in almost a whisper, "I'd probably say yes." I knew it was wrong to say but I couldn't help it. "Look mom, I don't think you need to worry about that for some time. Edward is not going to ask me that, and even if I asked him," and I blushed again, "His answer would be no."

She seemed unbelieving. How could any daughter tell her mother that if her boyfriend had sex with her, he'd probably kill her unintentionally?

"Mom, Edward is rather old fashioned about some things, and I think that is one of them. So, breathe and relax; the topic is one that is not likely to come up for some time between us, and besides, do you think I would be dumb enough to do something like that under Charlie's roof? He'd have Edward in jail in the blink of an eye if he thought that was going on. Remember, he is the chief of police." I hugged mom to reassure her there was nothing to worry about on that subject.

"I just can't help worrying Bella."

"Look, if you don't believe me, you can also ask Edward the same thing over dinner tonight." I doubted she would, but maybe it was his turn to be harassed by all the sex talks. I doubted Carlisle or Esme had these talks with him, so why should I be the only one to suffer.

"Bella, that's not a subject for the dinner table." From the shocked expression on her face, I knew she wouldn't ask him.

"I'm going to lie down for awhile, if that's okay. I'll see you later." I kissed mom on the cheek before picking up my bags and walking out the door.

I walked into my room, I heard Edward chuckling. It didn't surprise me he was waiting for me; in fact, I had been hoping to find him waiting. I put my bags on the floor, hung up the top and skirt Alice had purchased, and turned on the television.

"What's that for?" Edward asked.

"The television will mask our voices a little, and in case mom says she thought she heard voices in my room, I can just tell her she must have heard the television." I walked over to the bed and laid down on my stomach next to him.

"Rather devious aren't you."

"Only since I met you, before then I had nothing to hide."

"Nor had any sex talks I imagine."

"So you heard that." I blushed again.

"Do you think she'll ask me about my sex life at dinner?"

"I doubt it." I looked over at him and smiled. "But I might, just to see what you'll say in front of my mom."

"You wouldn't."

"My, aren't we serious. Would it bother you if she asked?"

"Not really. I don't have anything to hide."

"What if she asked if you thought about it? What would you say?" I looked over at him.

He looked into my eyes. "Is she asking or are you?"

I wondered if I should risk asking him, and then decided I might as well because my curiosity was peaked, and along with the curiosity came the blush because of what I was thinking. "I'm asking. Have you ever thought about me in that way?" I asked breathlessly.

"Bella, I once told you that it's not only your blood that I desire, and that's true. I'm learning to resist you in two ways."

"Which one is stronger?" I asked shyly. Did I really want to know? If it was my blood, then did that mean he loved my blood more than my body?

"Bella, do you really need to ask?" He smiled with a hint of lust in his eyes.

His eyes answered my question even if he didn't verbally express it, and for the umpteenth time I blushed.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist. "I still love it when you blush." Then he rolled me so my back pressed against his chest, he moved my hair away from my neck and whispered sweetly into my ear. "We'll be the perfect romantic couple at dinner tonight for your mom. We'll be just like Romeo and Juliet." Then he kissed my neck.

I liked Shakespeare's play, but it always made me cry. "No," I replied. "I don't want to be Juliet to your Romeo."

"Why?" He murmured back as he nuzzled my neck.

"Because they both die in the end; no there has to be a better couple with a better end."

"How about Orpheus and Eurydice, they were together forever." His kissed my ear after whispering into it.

"I don't want to be Eurydice to your Orpheus, and I definitely don't want you to be Orpheus because he was ripped apart by a group of revengeful women, and don't suggest Hamlet and Ophelia either. Although I could become Ophelia if you ever left me."

"Why Ophelia?"

"Because when Hamlet told her he no longer loved her, she became a basket case. I'd feel lost just like her if you ever left me."

"I don't believe that. You're a strong person and very determined. You would bounce back and get on with your life."

"You think that if it makes you happy." I retorted.

Edward quickly flipped me over so I was facing him. "You would never harm yourself." He said sternly.

"You can't be sure of that. If you rejected me like Hamlet rejected her, I would be crushed." Didn't he realize how much I would hurt? It would be as if he had ripped out my heart.

"Bella," Edward looked deeply into my eyes dazzling me and causing my heart to flutter. "I'll never reject you."

"Then why are you comparing us to tragic romantic couples. These couples all met untimely ends." I felt a quickening of my heart rate as he continued to stare at me.

Edward chuckled, "Bella, stop being so melodramatic. We'll never end that way. I won't let it."

"Sure, you say that now, but you're the one who won't change me, and one day this will all end because, unlike you, I won't be around forever. Maybe that's what you want because you know you'll get tired of me." My insecurity was cropping up again, there were times when I just couldn't convince myself that Edward really loved me and would continue to love me. Was it because he wouldn't commit to forever?

"Bella, I'll never get tired of you, I'll always love you, and I won't harm you." He kissed me gently on the lips, and I stopped breathing as I drank in the taste of his lips. He pulled his lips away and whispered, "Breathe Bella."

We laid a while longer on the bed not talking, but Edward caressed my back and occasionally kissed my neck. After awhile he got up, much to my regret, and said it was time for both of us to dress for dinner. Alice stopped at my room and requested to do my hair and makeup for me, and I reluctantly agreed. I would have said no completely, but I knew after her handiwork I would look great, and I felt I wanted to watch Edward's mouth drop open when he saw me. The top and skirt Alice purchased was actually a gorgeous outfit, and the blue of the top complemented my complexion rather than washed it out.

Mom was impressed when she saw what Alice was able to achieve; Edward, as I had hoped, stared at me open mouthed. I felt very pleased with Alice's handiwork.

Edward took us to the restaurant at the top of the needle. Mom was impressed that Edward was even able to get reservations. Even though I knew Edward and Alice didn't eat, they made the food disappear and mom never noticed anything out of the ordinary. She didn't ask Edward about his sex life, but she did ask him questions about his family and his parents. She even asked him about his real parents. Edward, for the most part, answered as truthfully as possible.

Mom did ask Edward some pointed questions about our relationship. "So, Edward, how did you and my daughter meet?"

"We had biology class together. I saw her for the first time at lunch, but didn't get a good look at her until she sat next to me in biology. It was a life-changing experience." He smiled over at me. "I'll never forget it."

I had a feeling he was talking about the fact that he discovered that my blood tempted him more than anyone else's.

"Bella also mentioned that you're very protective of her." I could tell mom was trying to pry as much information from Edward as possible.

"That's absolutely true, and it is not an easy task. Have you seen her hands?" Edward reached over, took both my hands and turned them palms up. "She didn't have these when she left Forks so I imagine they are fairly recent. I'm guessing she also skinned her knees, but she has been covering them up lately." He looked at me for confirmation; it was one of his piercing looks and I just melted in response.

"Yes." I whispered weakly, and Edward let go of one hand but held onto the other one under the table.

Alice chuckled.

"It's not any easy job Mrs. Dwyer."

Mom interrupted, "Renee, call me Renee please."

"Okay, Renee. As I was saying, it is not an easy job keeping your daughter protected; she has a tendency to attract danger, but I love her so much I don't ever want to see any harm come to her, and I personally never want to be the cause of any harm."

"Well, I'm very glad to hear that Edward. I want only the best for my daughter, and I hope I never have to see her being hurt by someone she loves."

I looked over at Edward and smiled, and he squeezed my hand. I would have kissed him just then if we hadn't been a public place, and my mom hadn't been watching. I decided I could save that for later. It could be my midnight snack, I thought.

As I was readying myself for bed that evening, I reflected back on how well the evening had turned out. I saw mom was becoming more comfortable around Edward, and he impressed her with his good manners. He even held open her car door and held her chair for her at dinner.

Once more, I spent the night with Edward's arms wrapped around me. I remembered to ask him about his expression in the bookstore. He commented on the fact that I had a very determined intense look as I search for books. He loved that I took book buying so seriously. Before I fell asleep, I also had my midnight snack. In fact, I had a couple, before Edward finally said it was bedtime for the human and then began humming my lullaby. I knew it would be the last night we'd be together before I returned home to Forks on Saturday.

I cried a little as I said good-bye to Edward on Thursday; he whispered "only two days" and I whispered back "but two long nights." Then, in front of my mom, he kissed me good-bye.

Thursday and Friday mom and I spent browsing in the local shops, watched a movie and spent a lot of time talking. She did tell me how impressed she was by Edward and she could see that he really did love me. She also talked about Phil, their house in Florida, and some of the new friends she had made. The two days were full, but without Edward, they went by slowly.

I really loved my mom and was glad to have time with her, but I was even happier when Saturday finally arrived and I knew I would be heading back to Forks after seeing mom off at the airport. The drive home was completely uneventful, and I arrived at the Cullen house late in the afternoon. I even managed to return Edward's car without any dings, dents, or scratches.

As soon as I saw Edward, I ran and threw myself into his arms. He laughed and twirled me around; he was just as happy to see me, as I was to see him. I felt my life was perfect, except for the fact that I was human and he was a vampire; a situation that I hoped he would one day change.


	20. The Experiment: Edward

_AN: All these lovely characters belong to Stephenie Meyer._

_Read and enjoy._

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20 The Experiment – Edward

It seemed like all summer someone was arguing with me about the merits of changing Bella, with the exception of Rosalie. I had to admit they made some strong arguments, but in my estimation, what it all came down to was what was in Bella's best interest. My decision was still that it was better for Bella to leave her human so she had the option of leaving me and resuming her normal human life. I couldn't take away her opportunity to fall in love with a human, get married, and have children.

My mind was speeding through a number of memories of Bella. Bella's smile, Bella's eyes, and Bella's lips were all prominent features my mind was examining. As I had hunted with Jasper on Friday, I began to think about what it would be like if for some reason Bella decided to leave me and resume her normal human life. The main question that I asked myself was how I would feel if Bella left me. I knew if she decided to leave, I wouldn't stop her, and how I would feel was obvious to me. I wouldn't be happy. No, if I were truthful, unhappy was an understatement.

The question I had to confront was could I live with the decision to allow Bella to leave me? Could I continue without Bella in my life? Well, technically I didn't have a life I had an existence, but still could I continue without her, or more specifically, did I want to continue without her?

"Are you moping again?" Emmett asked as he walked into the living room.

I just glanced at him. He didn't need a reply; he could tell from my face what I was thinking.

"You know, this would be easier if you just changed her." He claimed.

I growled at him.

He sat down beside me on the sofa. "And don't growl at me. Let's face it. Neither of you will ever be happy with anyone else, nor do I think Bella will ever fall in love with anyone besides you. You can be so dense at time."

"How so?" Emmett was beginning to irritate me.

"All this 'she'd be happier if,' or 'I don't want to rob her of,' talk." Emmett started using his hand to emphasize his opinions. "From Bella's point of view, I'd say you're robbing her of an intimate relationship and she'd be happier if you changed her."

"I warned you not to go there Emmett." I growled.

"That's exactly were you need to go." He pointed his finger at me. "You need to put yourself in Bella's place and ask if you were her would you want to end the relationship or make it permanent."

"That's all fine and good, but I know what it means to exist like this and she doesn't." I shot back.

"You mean you've never told her the truth." He held up his hand as I was about to speak. "Oh, granted, you told her what you felt like telling her, but you haven't been completely honest. Have you?"

"What difference does it make?" I couldn't expose Bella to the monstrosity that I truly was; I didn't want her to see the ugly side of me.

_I can't believe him,_ he thought. "Tell her all the truth and it won't make a difference. Bella is not the kind of girl who would dump you just because of that. She loves you too much. Edward, open you eyes. She will never fall in love with anyone else. You are her first and only love."

"How can you know that?" There was no way he could be sure. There was no way I could be sure. Even Bella couldn't be sure unless she gave someone else a chance to be a part of her life, although, I didn't want someone else to become a part of her life.

"You're pathetic. Will you never see the truth?" He was becoming aggravated with me, but I was feeling the same way about him.

"What truth are you talking about?"

"The truth about Bella and yourself, she loves you with her whole being; she doesn't even look at the other boys at school; although they do look at her. And you, you've never looked at any female like you look at Bella. You never even looked at Rose like that and she's way more gorgeous than Bella." Emmett smiled.

"Bella's beauty far outshines Rose's any day." I shot back. Emmett was becoming extremely annoying, and how dare he slander Bella's natural beauty compared to Rose's unnatural beauty.

He got up from the sofa and stood looking down at me. "So do something about what you feel for her. You love her, she loves you, and she'll never love anyone but you; stop playing around and make her yours – forever." _Why can't he be more decisive? He should take charge and make life easier for both of them?_

"Emmett!" I yelled.

"Edward!" he mocked. "What more reason do you need to give both of you what you want?"

"She might change her mind about loving me once she learns what this existence is like. She might hate me for killing her and changing her into a monster."

"You see. You're not thinking." Emmett rolled his eyes.

"What am I not thinking about?"

He started walking around the room as he said, "About what she really wants, she doesn't want to be a vampire for the sake of living forever or drinking blood, or any of the normal reason some people think it would be great to have this type of existence." He stopped in front of me and down into my eyes. "She wants it because she wants to love and be loved by you, in a physical sense."

I stood up and faced him. "Emmett!" I was definitely mad. How could he be so crude?

"Oh, for the love of . . . you can be so dim witted at times. Do you know nothing about human desires? Not just males have them. Okay, we have them more often and sometimes for the wrong reasons, but females have the same human desires when they fall in love with a man. You're a man and Bella is a woman. I hope you've realized this. She is deeply in love with you, and she won't ever feel this way about any other man. She wants you Edward, in more ways than one."

I growled. How could Emmett say that about Bella? How could he know how she feels? "You don't know anything about Bella. She's not like that." We were standing face to face with only inches between us.

"Then she's not in love with you." He said flatly.

"Yes, she is." I growled back.

"Then she feels that way." He said emphatically. "There has to be some way to prove to you that Bella will never love anyone but you and you're doing her the greatest injury by keeping her at arms length and denying her the closeness she desires."

"What way?" I didn't like where this conversation was going. Emmett could argue all he wanted, but I wouldn't change Bella. I had convinced myself she would eventually fall out of love with me and then I would have to let her go. I didn't want to deny her the choice.

Emmett's pushing so enraged me that I hadn't noticed Bella arriving at the house until she walked into the living room.

"Hi," she started but abruptly stopped. "Maybe I should leave?"

"Maybe this will convince you." Emmett said as he rushed across the room toward Bella.

Before I could breathe out a 'what,' Emmett had Bella in his arms and he was kissing her. I was so enraged, I was on the verge of physically harming Emmett, but before I could reach them, Bella did the last thing I would ever have imagined her to do. In less time than it took me to cross the room, Bella had pushed herself away from Emmett and slapped his face. I was so stunned, my anger vanished, and then I saw tears running down Bella's cheek.

"Now look at what you've done," I roared. I was instantly at Bella's side and wrapped my arm protectively around her. "I'm sorry Bella. Emmett should never have done that."

I saw Emmett smirking and my hand itched to hit him, not slap him but knock him through the wall, but Bella's soft voice stopped me.

"It's not Emmett," she sobbed, "It's my hand."

Until then I hadn't thought about what it would've felt like to her to slap Emmett. Emmett was right next to me as we both looked at her outstretched hand. It was extremely red and looked like it was beginning to swell up.

Just then, Carlisle walked in and demanded, "What is going on? I could hear the shouting before I pulled up to the house." Then he noticed Bella's tears and her hand. "What have you done to Bella?"

I was about to blame Emmett, but once again, Bella was quicker.

"It was an accident," she said between sobs.

"Jasper, go get some ice." Carlisle commanded.

I hadn't noticed when Jasper had entered the room.

Carlisle smiled softly at Bella. "Now, Bella, tell me what happened." Carlisle's fatherly tone meant 'spill the story.'

"I slapped Emmett." Bella answered quietly.

"And did Emmett deserve a slap?" He looked over at Emmett as he asked this.

Emmett's thoughts all focused on Bella and his remorse that she hurt herself.

"It was a reflex action. I wouldn't have done it if I would've thought about it before hitting him." She offered.

"And just what did you do to deserve a slap, Emmett?" Carlisle started intently at him.

Emmett looked over to me and for the first time since he the slap had a coherent thought_. Oh man, I hadn't meant for that to happen. I'm so sorry Edward, I didn't mean for Bella to get hurt. I was just trying to prove a point._

Bella looked from Emmett to me and back to Carlisle, but said nothing.

Emmett looked down at his feet and replied, "I kissed her."

"You what?" Carlisle was a little more than upset.

"I kissed her." He repeated.

"Edward, were you here when this happened?" Just then, Jasper walked in with a bowl of ice. Carlisle made Bella sit down on the sofa and gently laid the palm of her hand on the ice. "Hold it here until it's too cold, remove it for a minute and then put it back on the ice." He instructed, and then he looked to me for a response.

"I was right here." I replied simply.

"Will somebody just tell me what this was all about?" Carlisle looked around at us.

Bella blushed, no doubt embarrassed by the entire event, yet she had no idea of what had just happened or why.

Emmett calmly informed Carlisle about the argument he and I were having prior to Bella's arrival.

"When Bella walked in, I just thought I'd prove to Edward that she only loves him and that even if I kissed her she wouldn't swoon and forget all about him. I hadn't expected that kind of reaction though or I would have stopped her hand before she slapped me."

I could see Carlisle was holding back a laugh when Emmett explained about the slap. "I hope you boys have learned a lesson from this. Look at what you've made Bella endure. Besides, I can easily prove Bella loves only Edward."

Emmett and I just stared at him with blank looks.

Finally, I asked. "How?"

"Easy, and considering you've been to medical school more than once, it is something you yourself could've confirmed without subjecting Bella to being kissed by anyone else." He stared at me. "When you kiss Bella, what are her physiological reactions?"

I looked at Bella and watched her blush a deep pink. I wanted to know what she was thinking at that very moment, but unless she told me, I'd never know.

"Well," I had to think about that for a moment, but I caught Bella shyly looking down and away from my eyes.

I knew how I felt when I kissed Bella, but what had I noticed about her when I kissed her, beside her fragrance.

I answered as her reactions came to mind. "Her heart rate increases, as does her breathing. Sometimes her color is heightened." I looked over at Bella and she smiled slightly, but I felt like I had forgotten something, and then I noticed her deep intake of air. "Oh, and sometimes she stops breathing for a few seconds."

"And when Emmett kissed her?" He asked.

I had to reflect longer on that question. I knew my reaction; I was ready to rip him to pieces, but then I remembered as I noticed Bella move her hand slightly. "She slapped Emmett."

"Have you ever noticed any physiological change in Bella when she's around Jasper, Emmett, or other males, like the ones you evoke in her?" His tone was more professional as if he were asking for an observation of a patient's condition.

"No." I answered with conviction. Bella's breathing was consistent around them, not flutter or palpations of any kind, nor any breathing problems. Not even around Newton.

"While I was holding her hand, did she display any of those symptoms?"

"No."

"There, no other males, including those of us who have been known to cause female hearts to flutter, have any affect on Bella as you do. That proves she loves you and is not attracted to anyone else." Carlisle looked at Bella. "I'm sorry they subjected you to this." Then he took her hand and carefully examined it.

She peeked at Emmett and me through her hair while Carlisle examined her hand. I saw remorseful looks on Emmett's face, but I wondered what she saw on mine. As I watched her watching me, I saw a slight shiver ripple through her body. I wanted to know what caused it; I wanted to know what she was thinking at that very moment.

Carlisle looked at Bella and smiled. "Jasper, Emmett, why don't you go to your rooms. Edward, sit down." His authoritative voice caused us all to do as he said. Then more softly, he said to Bella, "There are no bones broken. That's the good news, but your hand is going to be extremely sore for the next few days. It may even stay swollen for a day or two. Just keep icing it for the rest of the evening." He looked over at me. "I think you owe Bella an apology for what happened this evening. Even if you didn't know Emmett would kiss her, you should at least realize how much she really loves you." Carlisle got up and walked out of the room.

He was right, besides Emmett had warned me awhile back that he would find a way to prove that Bella loved me. "Bella, I'm so sorry. Carlisle is right."

"About what?" She looked up at me.

"About how much you really love me." I kissed the tip of her nose.

"Edward," Bella began as she placed her hand back in the ice, "Do you really believe I could ever fall in love with someone else? Do you really think I'm that fickle?"

"No, I don't think you're fickle at all." I took her uninjured hand in mine and kissed it. "Bella, why did you blush when Carlisle asked what your reactions were when I kissed you?"

"It was embarrassing. I didn't want everyone to hear how I reacted. Sometimes, I hoped even you wouldn't hear how I reacted, but I learned you hear it all and I can't stop you from hearing it." She kept her head tilted down refusing to look at me.

"Bella," I said softly, "What were you thinking just a moment ago when you looked from Emmett to me and you shivered slightly?"

Bella looked up quickly. "You saw that?" She blushed again.

"Yes, and I must say I am curious as to what caused it." I tilted her chin up and looked deeply into her brown eyes. As I had remembered earlier, she had the deepest, most expressive eyes.

"I . . . it's . . ." she stammered. "Please, Edward, don't ask."

I looked deeper into her eyes. "Bella, I thought you had promised to tell me everything you were thinking."

I saw her go blank for a moment and thought she wasn't going to tell me, and then she said in a soft far off voice, "I thought how much I wanted you to kiss me like that."

"Like what?" How had Emmett kissed her?

I had to know so I breathed directly onto her as I continued staring into her eyes. I could tell she was no longer fighting not to answer, and I wondered, _Is this what she looks like when I dazzle her?_ Her eyes were expressive pools of longing, desire, and love, but her voice still had a far off sound.

"Like Emmett when his tongue touched my lips. I wanted that to be you, not him. I wanted . . ." All of a sudden Bella's hand slipped in the dish, caused her to tip it, and spilled ice onto her lap and all over the floor. As the ice hit her lap, she jumped up and screamed.

I still had a hold of her hand, but I released it and helped her to sit back down, and then I began retrieving the ice and returning it to the pan.

"Edward!" Her voice registered her shock. "How could you do that? You know the affect you have and yet you did that intentionally."

"I'm sorry Bella, but I had to know what you were thinking."

"Well I hope you're happy," she pouted. I loved the way she pushed out her lower lip.

I could also tell from her voice that she was disappointed that I used my persuasion to trick the information from her.

"No, I'm not happy, but I am sorry I dazzled you." I said as I picked up the last two pieces of ice.

She looked into my eyes and I saw hurt radiating from her. "Are you unhappy with me?" She asked quietly.

"Never Bella." I took her in my arms being careful not to hurt her hand. "I'm unhappy with myself because once again I allowed you to be hurt."

"Edward," she whispered, "I didn't enjoy or even like his kiss." She paused briefly and then continued, "It was like being kissed by a brother or my dad."

"I really should feel insulted," Emmett said as he walked back into the room, "But this little experiment did prove I was right." Emmett finished.

I glared at him because Carlisle had told him to leave. He just glared back, but his mind revealed his intention. _Bella screamed and I came, but he didn't bite her. He should, no doubt in my mind, he should give her what she wants. Maybe Rose should teach her . . ._ but Bella interrupted his thought.

"How?" Bella inquired.

"Bella, I am much more attractive than any human males you'll ever meet. Plus I have . . ." he paused as if searching for right word. _How can I put this without offending . . .?_

"Weapons?" She suggested.

I wondered if she remembered our conversation a few months back when I was trying to explain about our scent and attractiveness.

"Well, for lack of a better term," he chuckled, "Yes. In fact we all have weapons that help attract our . . . um . . ." Again, he paused.

"Prey," Bella helped once again.

_Oh, she's good; she knows more than I thought._ "Well, yes. Anyway, to prove to Edward that he is the only one you're attracted to, I decided to kiss you and use my scent as a lure, but we all know what your reaction was." He smiled and then continued, "As you can see, you weren't attracted me, and that was one of my better kisses."

"Oh." Bella uttered.

I added hastily, "But you didn't need to kiss her like that."

"A brotherly kiss would've proved nothing," Emmett chuckled. "By the way, let's not tell Rose about this. No need to stir up her anger." _I can't afford to have her angry with me again._

We all laughed; I could just imagine what Rose's response to Emmett would be if she ever discovered he tried to kiss Bella in that manner.

"Let's just say that this was an experiment." Emmett offered.

"And did it work?" Bella asked.

"I don't know," Emmett responded, "You'd have to ask Edward."

Bella looked inquiringly at me.

"Yes, Emmett proved his point."

_So, when are you going to change her?_ Emmett smiled, but I only glared back at him. If he knew what was good for him, he wouldn't say anything in front of Bella.

To help distract him, I said, "Emmett, go find a bear or some other animal."

"Why?" He just stared at me.

"Right now I can smell Bella's scent on your lips, and if you think I'm displeased with that fact, imagine how Rose will react. It's best if you get Bella's scent off your lips, and you'd better never kiss her again." I warned him.

"I promise not to kiss Bella again, except for one time." He replied.

"And when would that be?"

"On your wedding day," I saw him smile and wink at Bella. Then he turned to me and said, "See, I told you I'd prove she loves only you." Then he took off.


	21. The Accident: Edward

_AN: All character belongs to Stephenie Meyer._

_Okay, very short chapter, but the next one will be up tomorrow, and it will be the last chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing._

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21 The Accident – Edward

Summer was ending, and school would start in about two weeks. It had been a very memorable summer for me. It was definitely the first summer I spent with someone that I love more than any one else in my family. My life was definitely more rewarding since Bella entered it.

I sat on Bella's bed thinking, _She's just two doors away. Only a wall separates us, but it'll be a short separation._ I stared at the wall willing her to return wondering, _What she is thinking at this very moment?_

I'd never been attracted, no magnetically drawn to anyone like I was drawn to Bella. I had to ask myself could I give her up? I knew if she chose to leave me, I would release her, but it would hurt deep inside, maybe forever like something was torn out of me, but if she chose to stay, I'd feel ecstatic. Then I wondered _What if someone tried to take her from me?_ I knew I'd fight for her; I'd only release her if she chose to go, besides, who'd be foolish enough to try to steal a vampire's love. Then it dawned on me someone had tried. First Tyler tried with his van. Of course, I knew that wasn't intentional, but still, I could have lost her forever that day. Then James came along . . . a strong scent of blood broke into my thoughts. I hadn't noticed it before, but the scent of Bella's blood had intensified. I was on the verge of investigating the cause when Alice gracefully stepped through the open window.

"Edward, you have to leave now," she didn't request it but demanded it. I was about to argue when she grabbed my arm and said, "Now Edward. I'll explain outside." Her urgency was undeniable and impelled me to follow.

Then I heard Bella's voice soft but determined. "Edward, leave now please." There was urgency in her tone. "Don't ask questions just leave. I promise I'll explain later and I'll call you when it's safe to return." The scent of her blood was even stronger than before. What had she done?

As I reached the ground, Bella shouted, "Dad, I need your help. NOW!"

Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me away from Bella's house. "You need to hunt, now, and then we'll go home. She'll call you when it's safe," she reassured me as she began running compelling me to follow.

As I ran I asked, "Alice what happened?"

"Not now, Edward. I'll tell you later." She ran faster.

I could form no cohesive idea of what Bella could have done, or what would have caused her to bleed enough to strengthen the scent of her blood that much, but it had to be some type of open wound. All I could think was, _Bella, what have done to yourself this time?_


	22. August: Bella

_AN: One last time, these characters do not belong to me, they belong to Stephenie Meyer._

_I would like to thank everyone who has read my story. I can tell from the hits that a number of people have read it even thought not everyone has reviewed it. I especially want to thank those of you who have taken the time to review and have added my story to your alerts and favorites. It has meant a lot to me to receive encouragement and support as I have written this story._

_Once again, thank you, and I hope you enjoy this last chapter. Believe me, there will be no sequel to this story, but I do have a few ideas for one-shots that tie into New Moon, and I am toying with the idea of writing an independent story with new characters but using Stephenie's vampire rules and characteristics. If you are interested in seeing it posted, let me know._

_Read, enjoy, and tell me what you think – thanks._

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22 August – Bella

Well, it was official; summer was almost over. School would start in a few short weeks, but it would be my senior year. Edward wanted me to make plans for college, but I wanted to plan for a different type of change. It seemed like it would take more time to convince Edward that changing me would be something that was in my best interest; at least, from my point of view.

While I had been in Seattle, mom bought me a cute pajama outfit. I had been saving it for something special. Well, actually, I was rather embarrassed to wear it in front of Edward. The outfit was a sapphire blue, the top had spaghetti straps and just barely covered my belly button, and the bottoms were like short shorts. Overall, a lot of skin would show. Of course, mom had no idea that if I wore it Edward would see it because he spent most of his nights in my room. Anyway, I thought it would be a good night to wear it because I had planned to ask Edward again about changing me.

I knew Edward was across the hall waiting for me, and I wanted to look my best, so while I was taking my human time in the bathroom I had decided I would shave my legs. Now, I learned a long time ago not to use a conventional razor, so I've used an electric one for years, but it stopped working a few weeks ago, and I bought a packet of those inexpensive bladed ones as a temporary replacement. I made a last minute decision to shave my legs, so I sat down on the edge of the bathtub, lathered one leg and went to shave; the next thing I knew I was sliding off the edge and into the tub.

The first thing I felt was my head hitting the inside of the porcelain tub and then I smelt it – blood. I had to fight the waves of nausea and dizziness so I could ascertain the degree of damage I had caused. When my vision finally cleared, blood was flowing from a wound on my shin. All I could think was Edward was right across the hall and he'd be able to smell my blood. I knew he had to leave the house as soon as possible. I grabbed the towel I'd laid across the lip of the tub and wrapped it around the wound, and then I carefully extracted myself from the tub and hobbled to the bathroom door. I had to chuckle at myself because I'd spent all that time this past spring hobbling because of my cast.

As I reached the door, I softly said, "Edward, leave now please." I couldn't afford for him to stay to ask questions, so I tried to make my plea as urgent and commanding as possible. "Don't ask questions just leave. I promise I'll explain later and I'll call you when it's safe to return."

I gave Edward a few moments, hoping he would listen just this once and leave. When I thought he'd enough time to exit by my window, I took a deep breath, opened the bathroom door and yelled, "Dad, I need your help. NOW!"

Charlie took less time than I thought he would, but when he looked up at me, all he could say was, "My god, what did you do?"

"Just help me down and I'll explain on the way to the hospital." I knew this would sound like the dumbest thing anyone had ever done, but for me, it seemed like a natural outcome of a normal day.

The towel I had wrapped around my leg was ruined but at least it caught the majority of blood that had been flowing out earlier.

Charlie helped me out to the cruiser as quickly as possible; the whole time I was watching to make sure Edward was nowhere around. The drive to the hospital was one time even Charlie exceeded the speed limit.

As I watched the hospital building growing larger, I thought, _Alice may be able to navigate the malls blind folded, but if Edward waits too long, I'll soon be able to navigate this hospital blind folded._ There was one thing I was positive about, before I left Phoenix, I knew every doctor, nurse, and orderly that worked in the local hospital. In fact, I knew which nurses would smile sympathetically, which ones would cluck their tongues at me, and which ones would roll their eyes with a look of 'not again' clearly written across their faces. I also knew which doctors would make my visit as painless as possible and which one would delight in watching me flinch as they treated me. No, if I stayed human, the Fork's hospital would definitely become my second home. Maybe I should warn Edward about that fact just in case he ever came looking for me and found I was not at home.

By the time the emergency room visit was over, it was after eleven pm – one hour after the completely sordid incident happened – and I had eight stitches covered by a large gauze bandage. As Charlie was helping me out to the car – it wasn't like I couldn't walk, he just wanted to be helpful I guess – I was already planning out what had to be cleaned before I could call Edward and tell him he could come back over. Of course, that was only if he wanted to come over. Maybe he'd decide to stay away because of the smell of blood. I was fortunate that the towel had been handy because it stopped the blood from leaving a trail as I left the house. My main concern was whatever had spilled onto the bathroom floor and in the bathtub when I first cut myself.

After arriving home, I discovered the damage wasn't too bad. I did have to clean the tub out, but I had a bottle of cleaner for that, I had to throw the bath mat out because I knew I'd never get the blood out of it; it had sat so long that the blood had seeped through and dried somewhat while I was in the emergency room. The floor was easy to clean, but I had to be careful not to pull the stitches too much while I was trying to finish the cleaning.

It was close to midnight before I had everything cleaned, and because of the wound, I ended up wearing an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt to bed. As soon as I settled myself in bed, I called Edward to find out if he'd be coming over.

I was rather trepidation as I listened to the phone ring, but he answered after the first ring, almost as if he had been near it waiting for a call.

"Bella?" His voice was anxious but not angry.

"I'm fine Edward, and it's safe for you to come over." I paused briefly to bit my lip before adding, "That is if you still want to come over."

"Try and stop me." He said and hung up.

While I waited, I made myself comfortable in my bed and reflected back on our building relationship. I still wondered why Edward had chosen someone like me. I know, Alice and Jasper told me I was special, but I've never felt special, just out of place as if I didn't fit in with everyone else. It was a disheartening thought and made me wonder even more what Edward really saw in me or if he was just intrigued by the oddity of me. I began to wonder when his attraction to me would diminish, and as I thought that a wave of despair swept over me.

I had felt this despair two other times this summer; both occurred when I was reflecting on my feelings for Edward. The despair was like a curtain of doom descending between us and dividing us from each other. Each time I felt it, it grew in intensity. Just as I was trying to recover from the feeling, Edward silently came through my open window.

All he did was look at my face and his smile vanished. "Bella, what's wrong?" He asked as he instantly appeared beside me and sat on the bed next to me.

"Nothing, Edward." Would he believe my lie? I wasn't sure if I could really tell him what I was feeling or thinking because I wasn't sure how to put any of it in words.

"That's not the face of someone without any problems?" He took me in his arms and held me close. Then he whispered in my ear, "You can tell me anything, and I promise to help."

"I'm sorry Edward," I whispered back. I decided to deal with what happened earlier first and maybe he would forget about the worry written on my face, or maybe I could convince him that it caused the worry he saw.

"What are you sorry about?" He started gently to rub my back, and my head was resting on his chest.

"About tonight . . . what happened earlier . . . it was an accident." I replied brokenly.

"Bella, what did happen?" There was concern in his voice.

"I cut myself." I began slowly. "I didn't mean to, really Edward, it was an accident, but I was so afraid you wouldn't listen to me when I told you to leave. I was afraid you'd want to see what happened. I didn't want to make it hard for you . . . I didn't want to hurt you." A sob escaped on my last words. I hadn't realized I had begun crying.

"Bella, it's okay. Alice came in and literally pulled me out of your room." He pulled slightly away from me, placed his finger under my chin, and tilted my head up so he could look in my eyes. "Why did you cut yourself?"

I blushed as I replied. "I was shaving my leg and slipped into the bathtub, hit my head and cut my leg with the razor." The absurdity of the incident helped the tears to stop.

"Bella, how do you cut yourself with an electric razor?"

I stared at him in amazement. "How do you know I use an electric razor?"

"I can hear it when you use it?"

"Oh!" I had never thought about it before, but he could hear everything I did while I was in the bathroom, and I blushed even more at that thought.

"Bella, what happened to the electric razor?"

"It broke." I answered simply.

"And?" He looked questioningly at me.

"I bought some razors at the grocery store to use until I bought a new one." Didn't he already understand that, I thought? Why else would I be able to cut myself?

"How bad?"

"Not to bad really, considering." I wanted to evade his question; I knew it would upset him.

"How bad Bella?" His look intensified, and I knew he would wait for me to answer.

"Just eight stitches."

He let out a low groan. "Bella, you have to be more careful."

"Edward, no matter how careful I am, these things just continue to happen to me." Couldn't he just understand that I would never be safe from accidents and it would be safer for me is he just changed me. I had to some how make him understand. "Edward, I'll never be safe as long as I'm human."

He interrupted me, "Bella, I'll watch out for you; I promise, everything will be alright." Then he softly kissed my lips.

As his lips pulled away from mine, I moaned softly as I said, "No Edward, I don't think it will be."

"What do you mean?" His voice was still gentle and calm.

"Edward, I'm a walking accident, and they won't stop. I'm a threat to you because I'm constantly injuring myself. My blood is an everlasting craving for you." I looked into his golden butterscotch eyes. I longed for more of a relationship with him, but one that was on an equal footing where neither of us had to worry about endangering the other. "Edward, what if Alice isn't there to help you the next time, or if my injury is fatal?" Once again, a sob ushered from my lips. I hated when I couldn't control the tears or feelings that overwhelmed me.

Edward pulled me closer to him. "Bella, I won't allow that to happen."

Even though I felt comfort in Edward's arms and the nearness of him, I pulled away and broke our embrace.

"Edward, I want to give you something." I slowly got up off the bed and walked over to my dresser.

I remembered the day Alice took me shopping in Port Angeles, and I decided I wanted to get Edward a gift. I had asked Alice if she would wait outside the store while I went in to buy a gift for Edward. She expressed a strong desire to help me choose the gift, but I just replied, "No, Alice. I don't want Edward to know that I bought him anything, and if you see what it is, then he'll be able to read your mind."

"Bella, I can block my mind from Edward. Besides, I'll see what it is anyway when you decide what you're getting him."

"It doesn't matter. At least Edward can't read my mind at all, so it's safer if only I know for sure. Besides, you might tell Jasper, and that's just one more person Edward could learn it from."

Alice gushed, "You should have been around a long time ago. Now we have someone we can share surprises with who won't give them away to Edward. You could become our secret keeper because Edward won't be able to pull the secrets from you."

"It won't work Alice." I laughed.

"Why ever not?" She seemed discontent with my reply.

"Alice, if you tell me the secret, Edward will still be able to get it from you or anyone else in the family who knows. No, it's best if I keep this to myself, and if you do see anything, just ignore it, then we can both keep it a secret from Edward. Besides, you might not see what I actually get him." I smiled at her.

"Emmett was right. You really do have a devious mind Bella." Alice had laughed at me.

Edward brought me out of my reverie of that day by asking, "Bella, did you get me something?"

"Yes." I replied.

"When?"

"A while back when I went shopping with Alice." I started digging through my drawer looking for the object I had purchased.

All of a sudden, I felt Edwards's arms around my waist and he laid his head on my shoulder so he could look over it to see what I was doing.

"Edward," I said firmly, "Please, sit down. I don't want you to see until I'm ready."

He kissed my neck and said teasingly, "Okay, but what if I don't like surprises?"

He knew how I felt about surprises, but I thought it was only fair that for once I should get to surprise him. "Then you know how I feel when you do this to me. Maybe next time you'll just tell me what's happening rather than surprising me."

"But Bella, I love to watch the expression on your face when I finally reveal my surprise," he offered.

I just replied with a disbelieving sort of laugh. I finally found the gift I had purchased and held it in one hand while I shielded it from his sight with my other. He was sitting on the bed, so I slowly walked over toward him.

"Edward, I want you to keep this as a reminder of me. No matter what happens, I don't want you to forget me." I handed him a small stuffed lamb. It was fleecy like a real lamb and was made of the softest material I'd ever felt.

"Bella, nothing is going to happen," Edward replied as I put the lamb in his hand.

"This time you're wrong. Neither of us can be sure of anything, but lately I've felt like the sword of Damocles was hanging over my head and that it will soon swing down and slice my life in half."

"Bella . . ." Edward was looking into my eyes, but I had to finish what I needed to say before I broke down sobbing.

"No, Edward, hear me out." Tears were rolling down my cheeks and I was fighting to keep my voice under control. "I felt this before, and I know something is going to happen. Some how some way, I'm going to lose you forever. Either you will leave me or I'll die and leave you. It'll end and I'll never see your angelic face again. I'll never see that crooked smile I love so much, and I'll never hear your voice telling me you love me. For me, life will cease to exist, and you'll go on without me. I want you to remember me; it'll be a way for me to continue to exist. Please, Edward, promise me you'll keep it with you always and never forget me. Let this little lamb be your reminder of me."

"Bella, nothing like that will happen." Edward reached up and wiped away the tears, which were streaming down my cheeks,

I had to make him understand what I was feeling. "I know it will. I can feel it coming and there is nothing I can do to stop it."

He looked into my eyes and asked, "Have you been talking to Alice? Has she told you something she's seen?"

"No. This is something I've felt, and my instincts tell me it's true. I don't want to lose you, but it'll happen and our time together will be over, forever. Everything about us is forever; I always known either we would be together forever, or we'd end up losing each other forever. It's coming. You can deny it, but that won't stop it from happening. All I ask is that you always remember me and remember that I love you."

He looked at the plush white lamb. It had a red ribbon with a small lion shaped charm tied around its neck. On one side of the charm were engraved the words "And the lion laid down with the lamb," and on the other were the words "I'll love you forever. Bella."

"I will love you forever Bella, and I'll not let anything separate us." He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me onto his lap.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, don't you dare ever forget me." With those words, I gently kissed him.


End file.
